Whimsy Wednesday :: in which Absolute Zero Ice Hell comes nowhere close to prevailing and there is a literal green-eyed monster.

17 Dec

These poor cats put up with so much.

Well, that’s what happens when you’re actually a magical cat from a magical dimension.

This episode meant a lot to me as a kid because of my ice skating obsession.  Also the fact that Jupiter was my girl when I was tiny (her uniform had pink on it, I think that might be the thing).

Honestly, Artemis, why would ice skating have to do with her wanting to be a Princess… oh, that’s why.  Because her magical self liked figure skating.  I haven’t seen this one in a while.  I also genuinely do not remember that detail.

Because logic!

I also always think it’s interesting when bad guys swear on their honor.  Like, what honor is that really?

So based on those costumes, I assume they’re ice skating to a medley of Les Msierables songs.  That’s sort of trendy and the girls’ costumes aren’t ever quite right.

Ami-chan and her tiny study notebook.

I also like that there are no male figure skaters.  Because that never happens.

…also, are they heart-eyeing for Misha or Janelyn?  Because I am doubtful that it’s just for Misha honestly.  Because that’s how I watch things.

Oh LOOK another of Mako’s imaginary ex-boyfriends.

I’m just really amused that they’re fangirling over a “Misha.” Thanks for ruining everything, Supernatural.

The only times I ever went figure skating I was more in the camp that Ami and Rei and Minako are in.  But my friends somehow were all as good as Mako and that was the most frustrating thing in the entire world.  So I’m never going to have the ability to live up to my childhood figure skating dreams, but I do still like watching it.

I also think it’s actually pretty clever for the Moon Queen or whatever to have reincarnated Princess Serenity as a girl who actually is nothing like her original self.  So the bad guys can’t find her as easily.

Apparently.

Meanwhile, I was pretty much Usagi. Except I was too scared to leave the wall unless someone was holding onto me. I hate  being on ice skates but it’s pretty to watch.

Probably the only reason I was able to manage to be the others was that I was lucky enough to have a friend who was willing to hold my hand the entire time.

Why are bubbles romantic?

The giant red X on her face, oh my god that’s hilarious.

Of course Mako can lift a guy.  She’s mad strong, why are you surprised?  Y’all have superpowers for goodness’ sake.

“No one in the world has done that successfully yet!” I assume they mean within the context of figure skating, but it still amuses me.

AND THEN SEXY JAZZ MUSIC.

If my friend stayed back to get ~special lessons~ from the ice skating coach, I would probably be worried even if the Dark Kingdom wasn’t something I had to worry about.

Is this Black Swan?

Jealous crazy ice skating monster.  She took about three times as long transforming into monster form as the other monsters do.

“We are the ultimate pair.”

With the excessively dramatic music.  Of course.

Sailor Moon is always very repulsed by the idea that someone might corrupt these precious things.  And the monsters are always like “I don’t give a damn.”

“Death Spiral!”

I also really like that the monsters were hovering sideways in a way that ice skates… do not work unless they were doing very subtle grapevine movements.

And there is Kunzite to… gloat, I guess?  The Dark Kingdom is really big on gloating.

“Absolute Zero Ice Hell!”

If it can be foiled that easily, it probably wasn’t a very good plan.

Welcome to… every plan made by the Dark Kingdom, honestly.

“The shape of his nose is just like the guy who broke my heart!” MUST BE LOVE.

At least in the subtitles it makes more sense than in the dub I grew up with when she just said “he looks like my old boyfriend” about every boy.  This way they’re divvying the characteristics up, or something?

I don’t actually remember this next episode particularly well.  I remember that it exists, but.

Oh, whee, patriarchal obsession with the daughter’s love life that endangers the entire family and the entire roadway.  That always ends well!

Yeah, maybe…ask your daughter about her love life when you’re not operating a moving vehicle at high speeds??

Or at least don’t freak out about it?  I don’t know, at this point the patriarchal obsession with the daughter’s love life is both offensive to me and just narratively trite.

“Do you suppose he’s beginning to realize his memory’s been erased?”

…..

It’s not the cute kind of playing when you’ve just removed your teenage sister’s towel which is standing in for clothing.  Just saying.

Yeah that’s really…like. My brother is shy about undressing in front of us too, but this isn’t like pantsing your sister or anything.

“Why does it stir my heart?”  I don’t know, Mamoru, maybe you’re having subconscious flashbacks because that’s what happens when brains.

Who the heck is Mamoru?

…that will never not be relevant.

This is silly, but I appreciate the “if you fall in love” there. I’m used to it being a “when.”

“Hear me, bitter soul sealed in this lake.”

Ooh, this feels like an episode of Avatar.

“There are times when Usagi seems like a totally different person.”  Because she is, sort of.

“What’s with you, anyway?”  Totally the thing you ask a lake monster.

How will beating Tuxedo Kamen up help the lake monster get her boyfriend back?  Or her not-boyfriend, her object of unreturned affection.  Whatever.

“Another weirdo just appeared!” I’m cracking up.

The in-unison shouts of “Sailor Moon!” also just fill me with this really…. magnificent nostalgia.  Like the certain ways that certain things are said on this show, man.  (Or in the movies.)  They still live in my heart.

Usagi’s crying when things don’t go right is basically how I react when things go wrong, at least internally, so it’s funny to me.

It’s such a good thing that Mars is capable of performing exorcisms.  That’s a very handy talent to have in this life.

As Tuxedo Kamen waves the jealousy demon goodbye.

With two fingers.

This brings up the question.  Where do the girls’ clothes go when they transform?
I thought they were going to say something about their monster senses tingling. Too much Spider-Man, I guess.

–your fangirl heroines.

girl giggles

Television Tuesday :: 2014 and the Bechdel test

16 Dec

At least in regards to the shows I watch, which again can be found here.

So as I’ve mentioned before, I kept track of TV seasons that started this year and whether or not they passed the Bechdel test.  I can’t promise I have an exact tally, but this is what I found.

  • In season two (I didn’t count during season one because the season started last year and since I hadn’t started counting then the tally would be inaccurate) Agents of SHIELD has so far passed the Bechdel test every episode.  Sometimes it’s kind of a sketchy pass (i.e. episode nine, “Ye Who Enter Here,” when the conversation between Skye [Chloe Bennet] and Raina [Ruth Negga] did involve Skye’s father but touched on non-Skye’s father subjects for at least thirty seconds) but it’s a pass each time.  Thank the gods for Skye, because a majority of the passes were due to scenes of hers: her and Raina (how thrilled am I about her and Raina in general?  Pretty damn thrilled, honestly), her and May (Ming-Na Wen), her and Jemma (Elizabeth Henstridge).  (Actually, all of those relationships are ones I’m thrilled about.)  Also of note is episode three, “Making Friends and Influencing People,” where the Bechdel test is smashed into tiny pieces with the multitude of interactions between Skye and May and also Jemma and Bobbi (Adrianne Palicki).  Thumbs up, y’all.
  • As SHIELD goes, I will cite a first example of times that women talk about a man but it mattered a lot: that conversation in episode nine between Jemma and Bobbi that was about both of their respective man situations, kind of, because what that did was allowed Bobbi to represent for “Jemma’s side” of the situation, to give her reassurance that she does need, and allowed Jemma to finally get to tell her side of the story.
  • You know it’s a weird world when a show that is titled simply Girls can’t even pass the Bechdel test 100% of the time.  They did rate a respectable 88%, with the one episode that failed being because every conversation was about a man if I recall correctly, but still.  Wow.
  • As I mentioned before, Justified passed 66% of the time, which is still surprisingly often compared to some of the shows on my list.  And this is because Ava (Joelle Carter) went to ladyjail.  Every episode after Ava went to ladyjail passed, because ladyjail is one place where ladies are going to narratively have to speak to one another constantly and therefore some of it will be not just about men.
  • Game of Thrones and True Blood both passed 40% of the time.  As Game of Thrones goes, good job Melisandre (Carice van Houten) who was responsible for half of those passes (once with Shireen [Kerry Ingram], once with Selyse [Tara Fitzgerald]).  And as True Blood goes, well… the what-could-have-been with Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) and Adilyn (Bailey Noble) is the most important one to me.  The rest I’ve chosen to push out of my mind because they dealt largely with plots that I loathed and represented nothing good that could have been.
  • A lot of the conversations about men in Game of Thrones are, while note test-passing, still revealing of things that may or may not be important narratively and may or may not just make me smile: Margaery (Natalie Dormer) and Brienne (Gwendoline Christie), Margaery and Olenna (Diana Rigg), Margaery and Cersei (Lena Headey).  Also Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) and Missandei (Nathalie Emmanuel).
  • Fargo, Mad Men, and Sons of Anarchy passed two times apiece; Penny Dreadful a sad one.  The new ridiculous TNT show The Librarians has passed 1/3 episodes so far, and I can pray that it picks up with that soon, as I’m praying that it picks up in other ways soon.
  • And as for total Bechdel test failures?  True Detective, From Dusk Till Dawn, Silicon Valley.  2/3 of which I was watching because other people really wanted to and I couldn’t get out of it.

–your fangirl heroine.

fidgeting

Music Monday :: a retrospective of Billboard’s Hot 100 over the year.

15 Dec

This interests me because I don’t care about a lot of these songs but am peripherally aware of them and also just really like tracking things sometimes.

  • Magically, I have heard 80% of the charting songs.
  • Only 10 songs hit the #1 spot this year.
  • 50% of the songs were led by female artists; 20% were male artists featuring female artists.
  • “Happy” by Pharrell Williams spent 10 weeks at the top of the charts, followed by “All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor for 8 weeks.
  • The only artist to chart with two different songs was Taylor Swift, who racked up 4 weeks apiece with “Shake It Off” and “Blank Space.”
  • “Shake It Off” is also the only song to top the charts non-consecutively.
  • At least 30% of these songs play in the store I work at and at least 60% in the overall shopping area.

–your fangirl heroine.

distracted

Sundry Sunday :: my urban dictionary: tangent threshold

14 Dec

Def.: The amount of one’s verbal tangenting that one’s audience can stomach before they politely tell you to shut up.

Usage: Hanging out with my friends who are more “normal” and less “of the internet” is a constant experiment to test their tangent threshold.

–your fangirl heroine.

she said sarcastically

Sarcastic Saturday :: an always-applicable haiku.

13 Dec

As I’ve said before
No always overrides yes
It is fucking known.

–your fangirl heroine.

spectacular levels of smug

Fashion Friday :: credit where credit is due.

12 Dec

cersei lannister (lena headey)

So Cersei (Lena Headey) has a different vibe to her mourning clothes.  She’s in that same random celebrity-culture AU I’ve been playing with this year, but she’s the matriarch/businesswoman that tabloids still to this day refer to as a trophy wife, and she’s playing as tastefully glamorous as she can with this because that’s what she always does.

all agleam dress (modcloth)

It’s a timeless sort of cut, and it’s elegant, and while still appropriately mourning-colored it’s got that hint of glitz.  All Agleam Dress, ModCloth.

detour du jour blazer (modcloth)

And this is for the businesswoman side.  Detour Du Jour Blazer, ModCloth.

poised and profesh flat (modcloth)

And like the dress, these have just the right hint of sparkle.  Also, it’s here that I would like to point out that fancy businesswoman Cersei would be wearing the much more expensive versions of these items.  Poised and Profesh Flat, ModCloth.

elixir of adoration necklace (modcloth)

And though she might remove the little fake tag (that wouldn’t be hard with jewelry pliers) she’d probably appreciate the subtle snark of this.  Elixir of Adoration Necklace, ModCloth.

attention to retail clutch (modcloth)

She’d still have her classy little purse, though, in a Lannister color.  Attention to Retail Clutch, ModCloth.

–your fangirl heroine.

you are a basic bitch

Theatre Thursday :: my thoughts on Peter Pan (live)

11 Dec

For some reason or another, I grew up with a VHS copy of the old production, with Mary Martin as Peter, and probably just because I watched the same things over and over when I was bored as a kid, I’ve probably seen that production something like thirty times.  Of course, it’s been years and years, during which I both read the book twice (once for fun, once for school) then analyzed the hell out of it accordingly and became considerably more versed in musical theatre and media theory and the world.  But none of this is why we watched NBC’s new production of Peter Pan.

No, we tuned in because it was gonna be a damn shitshow and that is irresistible.  (Or rather we recorded it and then watched it over the weekend when we could drink our way through it.  I really should have had the foresight to save the tipsy texts I liveblogged at my drift partner, as they were apparently gold, but I remember the gist of them and this will be considerably more coherent.)  And true enough, it was a damn shitshow and it was irresistible.

As with The Sound of Music last year (and hopefully many more musicals for many more years) the casting formula here seemed to be: completely incongruous celebrity not traditionally associated with musical theatre (this time, Christopher Walken) + star of an HBO television program that the children watching this musical should not look into for many years, if ever (this time, Girls‘ Allison Williams) + actual Broadway actors for the other adults (this time, Kelli freaking O’Hara and, again, our buddy Christian Borle) + whoever the hell for the children.  (We’ve since been speculating about who might be stuntcast next.  I’m really hoping that Pedro Pascal can sing, honestly.)  This formula is not successful if your definition of success is a seamless, unquestionable performance, but it is successful if your definition of success is a production that you can giggle at while imbibing cocktails.

Allison Williams, who I keep wanting to call “Marnie” even though while I will admit to watching Girls I don’t particularly like it, is a better actress than last year’s Carrie Underwood, and that’s something.  One of my people was disappointed in her “crowing” skills during “I Gotta Crow,” and I will agree that they weren’t what I was expecting.  Overall her performance was acceptable but also uninspiring, and I was glad to learn that I wasn’t the only person confused by her costume’s inclusion of fishnet.

Taylor Louderman, who played Wendy, was similarly acceptable but uninspiring, but I mention her just to mention that my people kept remarking about her resemblance to Twin Peaks‘ Laura Palmer (played by Sheryl Lee).  I am a philistine and have not yet seen Twin Peaks, but I proceeded to Google Laura Palmer and see that that was eerily true.

Alanna Saunders, who played Tiger Lily, actually has Native American heritage, so that’s cool I guess. And while not all of the male chorus members playing her tribesmen appeared Native American, none of them appeared white, so that’s also… something…?  And one of the many changes to the musical numbers was changing the lyrics of the most racist number from the 1954 production, so that’s also something.

Kelli O’Hara as Mrs. Darling had very little to do but was brilliant.  When one of my people tried to talk during one of her songs, my other person and I shushed him loudly.  You don’t talk while Kelli O’Hara is singing.  He didn’t try to talk over Christian Borle, though, because we all love Christian Borle equally much.  In his double roles as Mr. Darling and Smee, he managed to keep the production at least doggy-paddling when otherwise it might have sunk.

And… Christopher Walken.  I didn’t remember nearly any of the songs he sang and am positive that at least a couple of them were new to this production, but Christopher Walken is always just… Christopher Walken.  The ellipsis is almost a prerequisite when discussing him.  There aren’t words for his demeanor, honestly.  His distinctive voice and somehow always just a little bit uninterested expression.  The fact that they put a footrest in his throne like it was a La-Z-Boy recliner.  The way he strutted around talking through all of his musical numbers.  More than once I laughed uproariously, though I’m sure it wasn’t because of something they intended to be funny.

Overall, it was marginally less trainwrecky than The Sound of Music but also less memorable.

–your fangirl heroine.

valid optimism

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