Spectacular Summaries Saturday :: top 10 gifts 2017 gave me

10. Being drift partners forever every day
Disclaimer: drift partner is always going to be the real #1, for the rest of time. ❤ This list will henceforth be “top 10 other gifts” because that’s just true. There’s no one best thing about being drift partners forever every day. Being together every day is great. Watching television and movies together is great. Collecting truly ridiculous numbers of toys and memes is great. Helping each other through tough shit is great. It’s all great. Love you.

9. Those truly ridiculous numbers of memes
“The old __ can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Because she’s dead.” “There are millions of cars in this city and now they all belong to me.” “That’s you.” “I have an accent.” “There make be snakes.” “I’m Josh Hutcherson, after all.” “Not great, Bob.” (ineffectively flails like a video game NPC) “No quieres bailar.” “Mother!!!” “Bees???” “Petersburg!” (ineffectively hits hands together and on face while raising eyebrows) “Tough, you will.” “It is happening again.” “Guess meesa die.” “Isn’t that corrupt?” “I can’t help you out of this one, Jim.” “Jeffrey, I am afraid.” “Eels.” So on.

8. Hopeless Fountain Kingdom, Halsey
As said earlier.

7. I’m Only Dreaming, Eisley
As said earlier, with the addendum that following the DuPree family et al on Instagram has been one of the biggest delights of the year as well. They’re all easily some of my favorite famous people to follow and all of those children are the cutest. Also, it’s nice knowing Elle Puckett is one of ours.

6. Marguerite Bennett
This woman is responsible, largely, for my beloved DC Bombshells, though that’s mostly just something I am coming into this year slightly belatedly. She’s also now writing Batwoman and that’s great, and she writes the new Josie and the Pussycats which is honestly the funniest thing I’ve read all year and references probably a good 70% of the things I hold nearest and dearest in the first 5 issues alone.

5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Honestly, this is a perfect comedy. It’s aware of the world, it listens to its cast (Terry Crews’ influence on the police profiling episode, for example, or Stephanie Beatriz’s on Rosa’s coming out), its humor never punches down, its characters are mostly quite likable, its characters are allowed to grow, its nonsense is embraced.

4. The Defenders
This show is at least 50% nonsense, but it’s the greatest kind of that. There’s friendship and teamwork! There’s incredible gayness even though it’s all implicit and some of it is between a man and a woman but still, oh my god, they’re so gay. The arcs aren’t perfect, but a lot of important things happen and there are some really great character beats. Also, Jess (Krysten Ritter) and Misty (Simone Missick) and Colleen (Jessica Henwick) and Elektra (Elodie Yung) and Trish (Rachael Taylor) and Karen (Deborah Ann Woll). We should make a t-shirt, one of the name ones.

3. Thor: Ragnarok
Especially after being prepared to be very sad because of the lack of our beloved Jane&Darcy&Sif, this movie was the best pleasant happening. As I keep saying, Hela (Cate Blanchett) and Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) are absolutely everything, and it’s just… fun. And it’s funny! I laughed. I don’t think the funny takes away from it. I think it was a movie made for the internet by the internet and that’s a good thing. We deserve that.

2. Runaways
This is still in-season and we haven’t written an official post yet because of that, but suffice to say we’re loving the hell out of this show (if the abundance of it in my TV post from earlier this week wasn’t enough). There definitely needs to be a shirt that’s just Nico (Lyrica Okano) and Karolina (Virginia Gardener) and Alex (Rhenzy Feliz) and Chase (Gregg Sulkin) and Gert (Ariela Barer) and Molly (Allegra Acosta). They’re very good kids  and even though they’re all in turn making some questionable decisions I love them and want to protect them. (Karolina is my especial favorite, predictably, but really only because I relate to her, the naive baby queer who just wants everyone to be happy.)

1. Wonder Woman
Honestly. This is a feminist blockbuster that lives in the details and preaches meliorism. What’s better than that?

–your fangirl heroine.

Film Friday :: 2017 in film

First off, we have already seen The Last Jedi. We saw it opening night. We’ve just been waiting to write about it because A) we’ve been crazy-busy, B) we want to go see it again to pick up more before we write, and C) we figured it would be nice to let the spoilers die down a little. But I will talk about some things about it.

So!

Best Times At The Movies This Year

4. Star Wars: The Last Jedi
So yes, we’re in the camp that quite loved this movie. And our first night crowd was great! They laughed at all the right parts. It was a stressful time that also involved tears and emotions, but it was good and important.

3. Thor: Ragnarok
Good grief. Drift partner and I loved this damn movie, as evidence by the fact that we went to see it a second time in celebration of our anniversary earlier this month. Hela (Cate Blanchett) is a brilliant villain, Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) is the bisexual warrior goddess icon we all need, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is a big golden retriever memelord, Bruce (Mark Ruffalo) is a good buddy who needs protected, Heimdall (Idris Elba) is our lord and savior. Etcetera.

2. Wonder Woman
This is cinematic gold. This movie was such a relief and such a celebration. Diana (Gal Gadot) is the other bisexual warrior goddess icon we need and also Etta (Lucy Davis) is absolutely everything.

1. The Fate of the Furious
Admittedly two of the best times we’ve had at the movies involved being able to drink during, but that’s a coincidence. This is a beautiful garbage movie full of a beautiful garbage family and the stupidest most wonderful nonsense ever, and I’m so glad of it.

Biggest Emotion-Grabbers

(Emotions other than intense happiness, since that was covered above.)

4. The Shape of Water
This movie, as we said last weekend, is flipping weird, but it’s beautiful and quiet and touching and just… lovely. It might not be for everyone, but it’s lovely.

3. Professor Marston and the Wonder Women
For joy but also heartwrenching…ness both because it’s inspiring to watch Wonder Woman come to be and because a movie about bisexual polyamory that’s not only committed and tender and loving and emotionally intense but real is something that never happens and should always.

2. Get Out
This emotion, on the other hand, is some cross between anxiety, dread, and disgust at the world. This is such a fascinating movie, and while I don’t feel it’s my place to get into all of the details I feel it is my place to say it’s expertly done.

1. Hidden Figures
This emotion is pride, mostly. I am proud of these real people and the people who made this and the fact that this is a story we can tell and that it’s true and that it just rocks. Also Janelle Monae, Taraji P. Henson, and Octavia Spencer are goddesses.

Some Standout Ladies

10. All of the women of Star Wars
Leia (Carrie Fisher) always. Bless you space mom, thank you for sending us your bees and love. Rey (Daisy Ridley) always. We love our daughter. Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran) is a beautiful delight and we also love the hell out of her. Amilyn Holdo (Laura Dern) is, surprise, also a bisexual goddess. I want more Maz (Lupita Nyong’o) in Episode IX, dammit. I’m glad Kaydel (Billie Lourd) got more to do and I dibsed her on principle.

9. Lady Bird McPherson (Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird)
As drift partner said, Saoirse deserves her damn Oscar for this emotional and compelling performance. Period.

8. (As mentioned,) Hela and Valkyrie
These two are opposites, enemies, and wonders. Hela is the most extra character, from the horns to the cape to the necroswords to the dramatic magic, and Cate Blanchett was clearly having the time of her life. Val is a tragic babe with a happy outcome, a pegasus-riding sword-wielder, and the kind of character women rarely get to be. They both make a great movie even greater.

7. Harley Quinn (Melissa Rauch, Batman and Harley Quinn)
I’m counting it! We watched this on-demand one night and then immediately ran out to buy it because it is a perfect movie. It exists in the same continuity as Batman: The Animated Series, but it’s rated significantly more PG-13, and Harley is done perfectly. She’s a big bisexual nerd trying to make good, flirting and punching and punning and singing and literally saving the world with her love for Ivy (Paget Brewster). Especially after Suicide Squad, this movie is a breath of fresh air and so is this incarnation of our best clown princess weirdo.

6. Elizabeth Marston (Rebecca Hall, Professor Marston…)
Like, I’ve always loved Rebecca Hall, but this performance is transcendent. Not because it’s flashy or particularly weird, but because it’s heartfelt and honest and, yes, quite h-o-t. It’s the best kind of movie about queer women, which is to say one that actually comes through a queer female gaze and not a straight male one, and Rebecca Hall shines as a fully realized person with fully real desires and appeal.

5. Michelle “MJ” Jones (Zendaya Coleman, Spider-Man: Homecoming)
She is just what we need in everything, namely a snarky black girl who takes no shit from anyone but isn’t afraid to give it. She’s so deadpan and perfect and such a great addition to the universe and the story and I’m excite to see how she ends up being properly MJ.

4. Mantis (Pom Klementieff, Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2)
These movies are definitely hit and miss in a lot of ways, but there are some universal truths, among them that space is very beautiful to look at and that Mantis is an adorable sincere autistic baby who needs to be protected. She’s so utterly charming and her need to be loved and be helpful is, uh, #relatable.

3. Cipher (Charlize Theron, The Fate of the Furious)
This is a garbage film, but she is the garbage queen. All of ur cars are belong to me.

2. Laura Kinney (Dafne Keen, Logan)
This kid. Just her performance in the final act of the movie nearly put this movie on the emotion-grabbing list, too, because she’s heartwrenching. She’s a little badass through the film, but she’s also so little and good and I’m proud of her and would like to make her cookies.

1. All of the women of The Lego Batman Movie
Obviously Barbara (Rosario Dawson) is the main female character in this movie, and she kicks so much ass and is just so delightful. I’m also talking about my favorite thing, the (potential) Gotham City Sirens triumvirate of Harley (Jenny Slate), Catwoman (Zoe Kravitz), and Poison Ivy (Riki Lindholme). That’s the perfect film right there. Get on it.

–your fangirl heroine.

Spoiler Alert Sunday :: our thoughts on Thor: Ragnarok

So we’ve been looking forward to this for quite a while, despite the early announcement that not a single of our beloved ladies from the first two Thor movies – not darling brilliant Jane, not spectacular sassmaster Darcy, not even fantastically badass Sif – would be present. There are reasons (not great ones, but reasons) for this, but it’s still a bummer. We love them and pray that we have not seen the last of them.

That said, Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) and Hela (Cate Blanchett) are about the best apologies that we could possibly have been given, and Taika Watiti as a director gave a film that was in general a beautiful apology, as well as a series of amendments and fixes and clarifications and extra bursts of joy and goodness.

But this is one of those ones where spoiling would be cruel because you need to experience this joy for yourself, so here are a few things that we can say that aren’t spoilers so much as just truths.

• Valkyrie. Valkyrie is in the comics (AKA Brunnhilde), leader of the Valkyrior, a group of warrior goddesses who choose which mortal Asgardian worshippers who have fallen in battle will be taken to Valhalla, member of multiple teams including the Fearless Defenders, and Valkyrie is a big giant bisexual. Both Thompson and Watiti have verified that they filmed a scene of a woman exiting her bedroom to confirm this, and Thompson has said she was playing Valkyrie as bisexual, but it was cut pretty late into production. Alas. It’s still been put forth into the world and it’s true and we love her. She is also kind of a disaster person who has Fallen On Hard Times. That’s all I’ll say about that from the get-go but it’s important to mention. She’s delightful. Also, she’s putting on my absolute favorite kind of British accent, very South Eastern and lovely. And she is seen riding a pegasus. That is the most glorious thing.
• Hela. Hela is the goddess of death. She is, mythologically, Loki’s daughter… but she is not in fact Loki’s daughter in this continuity because that would be just too odd. Hela is also completely batshit bonkers, and it’s clear Blanchett is having the absolute time of her life strutting and posturing and dramatically intoning and gesturing nonsensically. I spent most of the time before this movie affectionately calling her “goth swamp witch Cate Blanchett” and I am pleased to report that that is exactly what she is. Also, speaking as someone who has wanted her to play more batshit crazy witch-types since that infamous “you should not have a Dark Lord but a QUEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNN not beautiful but terrible as the dawn treacherous as the sea STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE EEEAAAAARTTTHHHHH ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRR” bit in The Fellowship of the Ring, Hela is pretty much what would have happened if Galadriel had gotten ahold of the One Ring.
• Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is himself a lovely and wonderful man. He has been a lovely and wonderful man, and an infinitely lovable protagonist, since his mid-first-movie revelations, but now that he has spent enough time on Midgard to become a backtalking memelord he is unstoppable.
• Loki (Tom Hiddleston) is also something of a memelord. It must be interesting to be a memelord and a meme simultaneously. This is not a pro-Loki blog, but this is a blog that nonetheless appreciates Hiddleston’s performance objectively if not what fandom has made of him. Also, he gets mocked, humiliated, and thrown around in a slapstick way constantly throughout the movie, which is really delightful.
• Bruce/Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) is mostly the latter, but manages to be an engaging character regardless. I’m very fond of Bruce, which I think not a lot of people are, but Ruffalo especially brings an earnestness and sweetness to him that previous incarnations of the character lacked (even Edward Norton in The Incredible Hulk, who I think was pretty good). The Hulk is more talkative than he has been in the previous films, having semi-complex conversations with people, while still being a giant green rage-monster. He and Valkyrie have a weird little friendship that is adorable. I understand why they’ve made the choice to sideline him and not give him his own movie, but I hope they keep letting him take second or third billing alongside other characters, because I think it makes for some really fun character beats. (Also drift partner specifically: oh my god there was a reference to Bruce/Natasha and I almost lost it right there in the middle of the theater how could they do this to me MY HEART GOODBYE)
• This is a movie that is very clearly the product of Australian and New Zealander creators and performers. Not everyone is, obviously, and some of them are pretending to be not-British or some such, but it’s still very nice.
• Oh, and Heimdall (Idris Elba) is a joy always.

–your fangirl heroines.