Spoiler Alert Sunday :: our thoughts on Proud Mary

Basically, there is no good reason to throw a fit about this movie.

It’s the exact same revenge fantasy we’ve seen 20 times before, but instead of starring some middle-aged but trim/fit white fellow it’s got Taraji P. Henson being the one taking down all the bad guys. And she does, spectacularly. It doesn’t end up being much of a bloodbath, in that you don’t see all that much blood, but the kill count is high.

It doesn’t pass the Bechdel test (there are no scenes that are just between two women, let alone where they speak to each other about something other than a man) but it definitely passes the Mako Mori test (“a) at least one female character; b) who gets her own narrative arc; c) that is not about supporting a man’s story”) so that’s definitely good.

The only love story in the film is a platonic/familial one between Mary (Henson) and Danny (Jahi Di’Allo Winston), the adolescent boy she ends up taking in. They learn how to trust each other and forgive each other and do good for each other despite neither having a good track record with people or specifically families and it’s very touching!

The style is also on point. Not only is Mary a stylish lady (understated but clearly sleek) but there’s just a really good overall vibe, one that respectfully edges toward blaxploitation without veering into anything sketchy.

It’s kind of nonsense in parts, but you know what? It’s the kind of nonsense that I will gladly watch a million more hours of.

–your angirl heroines.

Film Friday :: 2017 in film

First off, we have already seen The Last Jedi. We saw it opening night. We’ve just been waiting to write about it because A) we’ve been crazy-busy, B) we want to go see it again to pick up more before we write, and C) we figured it would be nice to let the spoilers die down a little. But I will talk about some things about it.

So!

Best Times At The Movies This Year

4. Star Wars: The Last Jedi
So yes, we’re in the camp that quite loved this movie. And our first night crowd was great! They laughed at all the right parts. It was a stressful time that also involved tears and emotions, but it was good and important.

3. Thor: Ragnarok
Good grief. Drift partner and I loved this damn movie, as evidence by the fact that we went to see it a second time in celebration of our anniversary earlier this month. Hela (Cate Blanchett) is a brilliant villain, Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) is the bisexual warrior goddess icon we all need, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is a big golden retriever memelord, Bruce (Mark Ruffalo) is a good buddy who needs protected, Heimdall (Idris Elba) is our lord and savior. Etcetera.

2. Wonder Woman
This is cinematic gold. This movie was such a relief and such a celebration. Diana (Gal Gadot) is the other bisexual warrior goddess icon we need and also Etta (Lucy Davis) is absolutely everything.

1. The Fate of the Furious
Admittedly two of the best times we’ve had at the movies involved being able to drink during, but that’s a coincidence. This is a beautiful garbage movie full of a beautiful garbage family and the stupidest most wonderful nonsense ever, and I’m so glad of it.

Biggest Emotion-Grabbers

(Emotions other than intense happiness, since that was covered above.)

4. The Shape of Water
This movie, as we said last weekend, is flipping weird, but it’s beautiful and quiet and touching and just… lovely. It might not be for everyone, but it’s lovely.

3. Professor Marston and the Wonder Women
For joy but also heartwrenching…ness both because it’s inspiring to watch Wonder Woman come to be and because a movie about bisexual polyamory that’s not only committed and tender and loving and emotionally intense but real is something that never happens and should always.

2. Get Out
This emotion, on the other hand, is some cross between anxiety, dread, and disgust at the world. This is such a fascinating movie, and while I don’t feel it’s my place to get into all of the details I feel it is my place to say it’s expertly done.

1. Hidden Figures
This emotion is pride, mostly. I am proud of these real people and the people who made this and the fact that this is a story we can tell and that it’s true and that it just rocks. Also Janelle Monae, Taraji P. Henson, and Octavia Spencer are goddesses.

Some Standout Ladies

10. All of the women of Star Wars
Leia (Carrie Fisher) always. Bless you space mom, thank you for sending us your bees and love. Rey (Daisy Ridley) always. We love our daughter. Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran) is a beautiful delight and we also love the hell out of her. Amilyn Holdo (Laura Dern) is, surprise, also a bisexual goddess. I want more Maz (Lupita Nyong’o) in Episode IX, dammit. I’m glad Kaydel (Billie Lourd) got more to do and I dibsed her on principle.

9. Lady Bird McPherson (Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird)
As drift partner said, Saoirse deserves her damn Oscar for this emotional and compelling performance. Period.

8. (As mentioned,) Hela and Valkyrie
These two are opposites, enemies, and wonders. Hela is the most extra character, from the horns to the cape to the necroswords to the dramatic magic, and Cate Blanchett was clearly having the time of her life. Val is a tragic babe with a happy outcome, a pegasus-riding sword-wielder, and the kind of character women rarely get to be. They both make a great movie even greater.

7. Harley Quinn (Melissa Rauch, Batman and Harley Quinn)
I’m counting it! We watched this on-demand one night and then immediately ran out to buy it because it is a perfect movie. It exists in the same continuity as Batman: The Animated Series, but it’s rated significantly more PG-13, and Harley is done perfectly. She’s a big bisexual nerd trying to make good, flirting and punching and punning and singing and literally saving the world with her love for Ivy (Paget Brewster). Especially after Suicide Squad, this movie is a breath of fresh air and so is this incarnation of our best clown princess weirdo.

6. Elizabeth Marston (Rebecca Hall, Professor Marston…)
Like, I’ve always loved Rebecca Hall, but this performance is transcendent. Not because it’s flashy or particularly weird, but because it’s heartfelt and honest and, yes, quite h-o-t. It’s the best kind of movie about queer women, which is to say one that actually comes through a queer female gaze and not a straight male one, and Rebecca Hall shines as a fully realized person with fully real desires and appeal.

5. Michelle “MJ” Jones (Zendaya Coleman, Spider-Man: Homecoming)
She is just what we need in everything, namely a snarky black girl who takes no shit from anyone but isn’t afraid to give it. She’s so deadpan and perfect and such a great addition to the universe and the story and I’m excite to see how she ends up being properly MJ.

4. Mantis (Pom Klementieff, Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2)
These movies are definitely hit and miss in a lot of ways, but there are some universal truths, among them that space is very beautiful to look at and that Mantis is an adorable sincere autistic baby who needs to be protected. She’s so utterly charming and her need to be loved and be helpful is, uh, #relatable.

3. Cipher (Charlize Theron, The Fate of the Furious)
This is a garbage film, but she is the garbage queen. All of ur cars are belong to me.

2. Laura Kinney (Dafne Keen, Logan)
This kid. Just her performance in the final act of the movie nearly put this movie on the emotion-grabbing list, too, because she’s heartwrenching. She’s a little badass through the film, but she’s also so little and good and I’m proud of her and would like to make her cookies.

1. All of the women of The Lego Batman Movie
Obviously Barbara (Rosario Dawson) is the main female character in this movie, and she kicks so much ass and is just so delightful. I’m also talking about my favorite thing, the (potential) Gotham City Sirens triumvirate of Harley (Jenny Slate), Catwoman (Zoe Kravitz), and Poison Ivy (Riki Lindholme). That’s the perfect film right there. Get on it.

–your fangirl heroine.

Superlative Sunday :: the 2017 SAG Awards and how I feel about them

Hidden Figures (Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture)
Get it, girls. (I mean, there were men in this movie, but they were there either to support the girls or hinder the girls, or hinder and then support the girls, while the girls, which is to say Octavia Spencer, Taraji P. Henson, and Janelle Monae, did the lion’s share.) I am so proud of this movie. I am so glad that this movie has had the success it has had, especially now of all times, and I am so glad that this movie is in the mainstream, because it’s terribly important and also wonderfully made.

Stranger Things (Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series)
Yeah, I’m okay with this! While I wouldn’t have been upset about Game of Thrones winning this year, they probably don’t need to because they’ve won before and they always seem to win when it’s at its worst because critics are dark and hate women being happy. Or something. But this makes more sense to me if just for use of the word “ensemble”: while everyone in Game of Thrones continues to give good performances as individuals, it’s still a lot of little stories with one or two people working together that sometimes intersect. Stranger Things was a few different groups of characters closely interrelated working together to achieve one goal, ergo they did more things together, as an ensemble. And that was really the beauty of it. The kids are all fun, of course, but they work wonderfully together. The adults balance each other. The teenage boys… well, they exist while Nancy is sweet and sad. It’s more of an ensemble piece.

Game of Thrones (Outstanding Performance by a Stunt Ensemble in a Television Series)
Sure. I still haven’t seen Daredevil season 2 (I have heard enough to be willfully procrastinating, even though I’m hungry for Elektra) but it would have kicked major ass to see Luke Cage win anything here; that said, this is fine. I’m fine with this.

And A+++ good job to Denzel Washington, Mahershala Ali, and Viola Davis, whose things I have not watched yet! Also good job to Sarah Paulson, whose thing I will never watch.

–your fangirl heroine.

Spoiler Alert Sunday :: our thoughts on Hidden Figures

1. We are not black people.
2. That means there are more important voices out there talking about this that do belong to black people, black women specifically, that we will tell you to go find.
3. But all that being said, seriously this is a wonderful film.
4. You need to go see this movie.
5. You will not be taught about this in history class or anything (unless you have a really awesome history class, and guys, my US history in high school was rad but we didn’t even get to the 1950s let alone the 1960s, and it wouldn’t have been in the textbook anyway) so you need to go learn about this. These women were/are amazing.
6. Someone give Mahershala Ali an award. (Maybe not for this movie but for something.)
7. The three main ladies – Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, Janelle Monae – all should have awards for this movie, though.
8. Also gosh their outfits and the little things they said about the characters were fun.
9. Boy it was nice to have an inspirational historical movie where none of the known characters died.
10. Jim Parsons is in this movie as a terrible person and watching him accordingly get his ass kicked (metaphorically) every ten minutes was great.

–your fangirl heroines.