Fictional Friday :: 10 (being a variable count) more x3 cross-canon friendships that should be.

I say 10 is a variable count because a few of these are less “besties for life” and more “completely necessary support groups” containing more than just two characters.  But.

10. Darcy Lewis (Kat Dennings, Thor) and April Ludgate (Aubrey Plaza, Parks and Recreation)
Please, please, please?  Can this deadpanning snark party of (former) interns please exist?  It would work, but it also wouldn’t be excessive: their snark styles are different enough to complement each other.  Darcy actually musters enthusiasm more regularly, April would never admit to doing such a thing, but I’d like to think they went to summer camp together (probably for something ridiculous and far too enthusiastic to seem in-character) when they were kids and occasionally send messages back and forth via Facebook or something.  Darcy sent inappropriately naughty congratulations to April upon hearing of her wedding, April likes to reply with questions about “that god your boss is hooking up with and all his friends,” it’s one of those friendships (I feel like I talk about these a lot) where it wouldn’t seem that amiable to an observer all the time, but they both know it’s meant with some semblance of love.

9. Dakota McGraw Block (Marley Shelton, Planet Terror) and Bennett Halverson (Summer Glau, Dollhouse) and Tara Knowles (Maggie Siff, Sons of Anarchy)
One of the support group situations, though I imagine this would end much more pleasantly than the other.  This is the the support group that turns into professional friendship for women who have experienced injury to their hand(s)/arms that somehow incapacitate them for a period of time or permanently and also they have things to deal with like potential crushes on badass ladyfriends (Dakota re: Cherry, Bennett re: Caroline) or issues with taking care of children (Dakota, Tara) or relationships that are sometimes adorable and sometimes leading to the bad (Bennett re: everyone, Tara re: …actually everyone too, but mostly Jax) or potential world-ending scenarios (Dakota re: zombies, Bennett re: tech).  They’d get together and talk about their various issues and then realize that hey, it’s nice to have friends who are other badass ladies with doctorates.

8. Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones) and Jax Teller (Charlie Hunnam, Sons of Anarchy)
I actually have this whole highly alternate universe (for Dany, mostly) scenario regarding these two, because in order for this to make any sense at all it needs to be put in a present day context.  (I just can’t imagine Jax in fake medieval times.  It just doesn’t work.  Since the motorcycle is so integral to his character, he needs to live in a world where it exists.)  But really, these two have a painful amount of things in common, and with the appropriate excessive timeline modifications, I can see hipster badass college Dany becoming friends (with benefits at first or not, either way) with Jax, probably pre-Sons canon.  Over time, they become epic pen pals (because while Jax keeps those journals for his boys or just in general, I can see him enjoying to have someone to share things – some things, not everything, though hipster badass college Dany is not naive to the world of crime or whatever) and occasionally she pops down to Charming to visit, they have a beer and he kisses her forehead when they say goodbye, they talk about whatever, they help each other out how they can.  Oh, and the rest of the Sons kind of like Dany too: eventually, the dragon queen is basically like everyone’s little sister or daughter.  Chibs especially takes a shine to her (it’s a United Kingdom thing, because even though hipster badass college Dany is in the States now, she’s British by ancestry).

7. Daenerys Targaryen and Snow White (Kristen Stewart, Snow White and the Huntsman)
I may have been sitting on this concept literally since I saw the movie.  But really.  It’s a deposed princesses taking their rightful thrones club.  This is almost a support group too.

6. Jon Snow (Kit Harington, Game of Thrones) and Angel (David Boreanaz, Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel)
This was not my idea.  This was my everything to my everything friend’s idea.  But it is actually a great one.  She had mentioned drawing some sort of picture of it, the details of which I am now spacing, but this would have to be courtesy one of the Powers That Be’s interdimensional portals, because they both need their own contexts, but they still need to hang out.  Many discussions of honor, duty, and the repercussions of sexual activity could be had, they could both make their somewhat endearing awkward faces.

5. Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner, Game of Thrones) and Shilo Wallace (Alexa Vega, Repo! The Genetic Opera)
No, I don’t have a legitimate reason for this.  I can just imagine them getting along pretty well.  Maybe it’s that they are/have been both under varying degrees of house arrest?  This might have to be an interdimensional portal too, because Shilo’s history and personality depend on her context.  Actually, I think it’s just that both of them need friends.  There’s a reason why Sansa (and Dany for that matter) show(s) up on these lists often.

4. Sansa Stark and Ruby (Meghan Ory, Once Upon a Time)
…there is no reason for this either, except wolves.  Also, Sansa would probably benefit from someone with Ruby’s strong protective instinct, but at the same time it’s not smothery protective or protective-with-motives, it’s friendly protective.  Etcetera.

3. Ruby and Jessica Hamby (Deborah Ann Woll, True Blood)
And this?  This is somewhat in answer to Jessica’s actual canonical comment about wanting friends.  I racked my brain for who might suit, and while I couldn’t think of any other vampires who could pal down with Jess, I got the idea that maybe Ruby would get along with her well.  Obviously being a wolf is different, but it requires a lot of the same emotional reconciliation between one’s natures and instincts; also, Jess is generally willing to take other non-vampire supes on a case-by-case basis, so the wolf thing wouldn’t inherently be an issue.  After a while, she’d probably even think it was cool.  Similarly, I imagine Ruby would try to be understanding of the differences that arise from Jess being a vampire, and together they could hang out, go shopping for cute accessories, talk about how absolutely frustrating and absolutely cool it can be to be more than human, etcetera.

2. Pam de Beaufort (Kristin Bauer van Straten, True Blood) and Joanie Stubbs (Kim Dickens, Deadwood)
Oh, hey, I just thought of this the other night.  This might be a friendship arising from another support group, the “some number of sick assholes murdered some of the prostitutes in my brothel and I discovered this” group maybe.  Which is to say, flashback Pam is the one playing here (I’ll fudge a few decades of timeline to make it work).  It could also be a social club for “blonde madams with fabulous clothes who also mostly like to sleep with women.”  I think I postulated once that Joanie would be kind of an Angelesque redemptive mission vampire, but were that the case here, Pam would keep her from getting too preachy about it.

1. Nora Gainesborough (Lucy Griffiths, True Blood) and Faith Lehane (Eliza Dushku, Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel) and Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson, The Avengers)
This is a much more dangerous support group.  This is the “I have red in my ledger” group, wherein all of these women prooobably need to at least be around someone else who is in a remotely similar situation to them in terms of atoning for things.  I can’t imagine they’d talk a terrible lot about what was actually bothering them (none of them being exactly the type), Nora would probably wrinkle her cute little nose a lot and Faith would sigh and be skeptical about the fact that Nora is a vampire and Natasha would sit there with her arms folded just staring at everyone, but eventually they would start discussing something else unrelated to the reason they’re all there, like battle techniques or cool places they’ve traveled to (this one would mostly be Nora and Tasha, probably), and it would be a strange kind of relaxing for them.  Because no matter what kind of support they do or do not get from their teammates/quasi-families, said teammates/quasi-families cannot ever entirely know the weight of what they carry after the things they’ve done that they need to make up for (not that they’d be allowed to try much).

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: 5 of the many different reasons for strength found in female television characters

Television women (and film women, and literature women, and theatre women, and real life women, and anything in between) can be strong in a whole variety of ways.  I’ve talked about this before.  It’s not the same as Strong Female Characters, but it’s characters who are strong and oh, look, women.  Tonight I’m exploring some reasons why characters exhibit strength.  This is by no means a comprehensive list, of course, I haven’t seen nearly close to everything there is to see.  But here are a few things off the top of my head.

5. Because of family.
Dear.  Dear god.  There are few things more tiresome than a stock Mother character, whose only purpose seems to be to blandly care for the children and her husband, cook dinner, clean house, and look pretty.  But being a mother does not by any means negate a character’s strength, and oftentimes it motivates it at least to an extent.

• Alma Garret Ellsworth (Molly Parker), the wonderfully flawed adoptive mother to darling little Sofia (Bree Seanna Wall), who I’ve discussed at length in the past.  Does she make mistakes in her life when acting as a mother?  Of course.  Does she love that little girl, despite the accidental circumstances of their becoming a family?  Of course.
• Catelyn Stark (Michelle Fairley), who… okay, yeah, I’ll own that the show hasn’t always done Catelyn right.  There are plenty of discussions of that on the internet already, so I’ll skip it, and just say: okay, but Catelyn Stark is actually pretty badass.
• Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey), who I have to bring up just because of those woe-inducing discussions about loving her children, even if Cersei and family is a much slipperier slope than that as a whole.
• Sarah Connor (Lena Headey), who I won’t say that much about because I’ve still only seen season one of this show (I know, chastise me) but who I would feel wrong not including.
• Joyce Summers (Kristine Sutherland), as long as we’re talking about moms…
• …and Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and Dawn Summers (Michelle Trachtenberg) because family strength can be a sisters/daughters thing too.  Oh, the Summers women.  Again: they had their flaws, they did, but in the end theirs was a ridiculously strong family.
• River Tam (Summer Glau), because Simon (Sean Maher) spent the entire series taking care of her, but then it was her turn.
• Priya Tsetsang (Dichen Lachman), because I’m sure that having a baby in the apocalypse isn’t easy, if it doesn’t lead to terrible death (I’m raising my eyebrows at you, Walking Dead), and knowing that said baby’s father is off living on a flash drive can’t be easy, but there she was, looking out for T (Brandon Dieter) with everything she could.
• Gemma Teller (Katey Sagal), because while she has been in a very consistent downward spiral, but family is what she’d like her guiding light to be and that counts for something.
• Tara Knowles Teller (Maggie Siff), who is mother to both of Jax’s sons and even though Abel isn’t hers by blood, he’s her son.  And if you screw with those kids, or with Jax for that matter, Tara is not going to forget it.
• Luna Garza (Janina Gavankar), who has had to actively work to get her Emma (Chloe Noelle) back before, but who loves that little girl, no matter what animal she grows to turn into.

4. Because of friends.
Since as I always say, family ain’t always blood.  I’ve discussed all of this before, basically, but I’m just going to list it out anyway.

• Pam de Beaufort (Kristin Bauer van Straten), Tara Thornton (Rutina Wesley), Nora Gainesborough (Lucy Griffiths), Jessica Hamby (Deborah Ann Woll), who are family but aren’t family and did some ass-kicking for the sake of such things to some extent (also for other reasons, listed below).  Special shout-out to Tara (because taking a bullet for someone, even if they misguidedly get you turned into a vampire after, is pretty badass; also because “and you still owe Pam”).
• Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin), who regularly kicks ass in the name of her friends (and [former] lovers too, and her brother sometimes but whatever Jason) even when it’s maybe not the best of ideas and especially when nobody else will.
• Echo (Eliza Dushku), and at this point it’s easier if I just restrict this to talking about mid-season two and onward Echo so there aren’t issues of Caroline thrown in there (other people, again, can discuss Caroline much more intelligently than I), who leads her friends into the fight to save the world, then has to deal with the fact that the world hasn’t been saved and continues to fight anyway…
• …and here I’m just going to list off Priya again and Adelle DeWitt (Olivia Williams) and Mag (Felicia Day) and whoever else, everyone involved in the Epitaphverse.  These guys.  Fighting to protect themselves and those they love and whatnot.  And while Echo is inherently a fighter, these guys are largely not.  Priya fights when she has to, but it is not her default.  Adelle is much more of a fighter-with-words.  Mag, as I’ve previously discussed, probably wasn’t Combat Girl pre-thoughtpocalypse.  Etcetera.
• All of the Scoobies.  Period.
• All of the women of Serenity.  Period.
• Trixie (Paula Malcomson), going to shoot at Hurst (Gerald McRaney) as revenge for Ellsworth (Jim Beaver) with no thought to the consequences, just to her complete rage.  Among other things.
• Also Alma, and Joanie Stubbs (Kim Dickens) and Jane Cannary (Robin Weigert) and everyone else ever on Deadwood.  Period.

3. Because of self-preservation.
Surviving can take special effort sometimes.  And I celebrate it always.

• Yet again Priya.  I’m just going to let the instances of “Belonging” speak for themselves.
• Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner), because my darling is literally the definition of this category.
•  Can I just say all of the Scoobies again?  Because all of the Scoobies, in one way or another.  Buffy persevering through countless ordeals, Willow (Alyson Hannigan) struggling her way out of a dangerous addiction at least somewhat, Anya (Emma Caulfield) learning humanity, Tara (Amber Benson) finding a voice amongst everyone, Cordelia (Charisma Carpenter) and her personal journey that I am largely unfamiliar with on Angel, and I’m just going to say Fred (Amy Acker) of Angel too even though I’ve seen literally three of her episodes yet but I know she is this kind of strong especially, Faith (Eliza Dushku) fighting to redeem herself, Dawn working to be taken seriously amongst the group, everyone.
• Tara Thornton is getting some extra credit here, too.  Damn, that woman has been through a lot, and maybe it took her being a vampire for me to actually get affectionate toward her for whatever reason, but special points given for literally trying to destroy oneself right off the bat and then learning the reasons why, even if she still isn’t forgiving Sookie for arranging it, being a vampire might actually be working for her.
• Joanie Stubbs, holy moly.  Joanie who could easily have collapsed under the weight of all that was on her shoulders, after her failed business venture particularly, but who soldiered on as best she could.
• Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke), because surviving her d-bag brother all those years and finally ending up the stronger for it is the greatest ever, and because self-preservation is also a good way to encompass the fact that I love that my Dany learns from her mistakes.
• Bennett Halverson (Summer Glau), because I can’t get through a list like this without mentioning her somewhere.  Requisite “yes, she made some questionable choices, particularly re: her torturing Caroline-Echo plan” comment, requisite “but holy crap, she was a genius and did not let anything diminish that” comment.

2. Because of injustices that need to be combated.
Injustices of all sorts.

• Joan Holloway Harris (Christina Hendricks) and Peggy Olson (Elisabeth Moss) both, in their ways, combat the injustice that is icky 1960s sexism.  And also the injustices of (in Joan’s case) d-bag husbands/lovers and (in both cases) d-bag bosses.
• Caroline Farrell, who I am mentioning here briefly to note that she was seeking to combat the injustice of animal and then human testing.  Among other causes, I’m sure.
• Echo, on the other hand, joins the abovementioned entire cast to, in one way or another, combat the injustice that is the thoughtpocalypse.
• Nora Gainesborough is getting a shout-out here, because I can’t not, and also because combating the injustice of the Vampire Authority that she had recently defected from after a moral epiphanyis pretty hardcore.
• And yet again, all of the Scoobies.  Combating the injustices of high school, college, demons, vampires, the Watcher’s Council, each other, personal struggles, interpersonal relationships, evil, and anything in between.
• And all of the women of Serenity.  Combating the injustices of the Alliance, d-bag criminals, d-bag clients, interpersonal relationships, and anything in between.
• Margaret Schroeder Thompson (Kelly Macdonald), combating the injustice of poor reproductive health education for mothers in the 1920s (among other things, but the “come talk about your vagina” line is my favorite forever).

1. Because why the hell shouldn’t they be.
This is the part where I point out how many of these listed women repeat.  Because strength is for everyone, for every reason, for anyone, for any reason.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: HBO Disneyland is the working title, but.

So as I said, I’m in Disneyland.  One of my people observed, in the Big Thunder Mountain queue line, that “well, I bet there’s one thing this Western town doesn’t have… the Gem Saloon.”  They do have a dance hall and a saloon, but neither, for obvious reasons, openly boast about having prostitutes inside.  Then the other night (after a dinner that was really just appetizer plates and cocktails) we were sitting down to watch Fantasmic, the ridiculous light/dancing/water/everything show.  I was staring into the crowd, and suddenly it struck me.

Why can’t there be an amusement park themed around decidedly grownup things?  And thus, HBO Disneyland was born.  If it was real, it would have a better title.  You obviously couldn’t call it that, since it would have literally nothing to do with Disney.  But that’s where I’m taking my inspiration.  Observe:

Note that Critter Country and Tomorrowland are unassigned areas; I haven’t seen every Sunday night HBO show, far from it, but of the ones I know well, I can’t think of what could fill those spots.  And for ease, I’m just going off of the map of Disneyland proper for inspiration.  But imagine it.

• A Boardwalk Empire main street.  The same kinds of shops and restaurants and displays, but instead of being run by rosy-cheeked folks in proper vests, there would be gangsters.  Instead of barbershop quartets, there might be fake shootouts and jazz singers.  Oh, and at least one of the restaurants would be a speakeasy.  Instead of character breakfasts at magic morning hours or something, there could be special Prohibition parties at magic evening hours, and only the guests who had certain kinds of tickets would have the password to get in.
• Rome-style adventures.  Taking a chariot ride through the wildernesses of the Roman empire or taking a boat ride to Egypt with a snarky soldier as a tour guide.  A roller coaster where you ride in, uhm, more chariots through to battlefields with other horses and chariots chase you with spears.  Photo ops with centurions, gladiators, and Cleopatra for good measure.  A walkthrough of Lucius Vorenus’ Roman pub/house/everything, complete with cast members dressed as drunken soldiers and bored ladies of the evening.
• A very different kind of New Orleans Square, True Blood style.  Making a haunted house of Sophie-Anne or Russell’s mansion (I’m open to either; maybe once there’s HBO Disney World as well as HBO Disneyland, one can be each).  There would obviously have to be replicas of Fangtasia and Merlotte’s.  I’m also thinking that you could somehow make the Authority into a storytelling dark ride; maybe not a boat one like Pirates, but it would go in that general area.  You could also make it into a shooting game, lasering silver bullets or some such.  Except for the cast members in Merlotte’s, you’d find them in a whole variety of things, but common things would be leather, corsets, the color black, and a complete lack of silver jewelry.
• Deadwood Frontierland, obviously.  Big Thunder Mountain Railroad could basically stay the same, just with more realistic buildings.  Instead of folksy cowboy songs sung at the Golden Horseshoe, you’d have also more realistic performances at the replica Gem Saloon.  Or the replica Bella Union.  There also need to be cast members having gunfights here.  Oh, and there could be a replica settlement on the island, also more realistic.
• Game of Thrones Fantasyland, because guess what?  Lots of fantasies don’t have happy endings.  Definitely a bunch of dark rides, as per the usual: one could tell the story of Robert’s ascending the throne (i.e. the prequel), for example.  Also, instead of the Dumbo ride?  Totally the dragon ride.  The center castle is totally a replica of the one in King’s Landing, and there would be a fake blacksmith in the fake village.  I vote that the carousel gets to belong to my dear Sansa, and while there are replica character people running around all of the areas, this is the one with the most character interaction.  Lots of dudes (but not all of them or even most of them), but you’d probably see Sansa, Daenerys, Cersei, and Arya out the most; line up for a picture with Arya and learn how to fake swordfight into the bargain!  (I saw this today with Merida and bows and arrows.  It was pretty much the cutest.)  The giant snowy mountain would be some sort of Starks in the North roller coaster.  And there definitely needs to be a direwolf ride.  Also, It’s A Small World could be done up really snarky; each room is propaganda for a different king (or queen) and the last room, where they all come together and dance, would actually be a giant bloody battle scene.
• Just go with it having The Sopranos in Toontown.  Who Framed Roger Rabbit? would actually be, like, Who Ratted On The Family To The FBI? and would be way, way more morbid.  You could go walking through the Sopranos’ house and the Bada Bing, with more cast members having gun battles and whatnot; the fake boat would be a goofy family-owned yacht thing.  Meadow’s Go Coaster, with surroundings built of the remains of forgotten dreams.  Etcetera.

And so on.  California Adventures would probably wind up being, like, Whedon Adventures; other parks would have other themes.  It could be a whole morbid adult amusement park industry.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: 6 of the times that family ain’t always blood

As I mentioned last week and as I mention always and forever, I absolutely just love created families.  These can take a whole variety of forms.  They’re based in organizations, in necessity, in friendship, in trust, in, uhm, vampirism, in care for others, in whatever.  And they are beautiful.  I heard in work orientation that the “my friends are my family” thing is sort of unique to the younger generations, and I suppose I understand how that’s true (it’s certainly true in my case, but I think that comes as much from generational differences as from my latching onto a few people with everything I have) but it has fascinated and will always fascinate me.

Honorable mentions to the Angel Investigations crew, who I’ll discuss a teensy bit more in a minute, and the cast of Community, neither of whom I’m discussing in detail because I’m still working through those two particular shows, but augh I love them already.  I’m just waiting till I’m done to discuss.  Another honorable mention, actually, to Dany (Emilia Clarke) and her dragons and her khalasar, which is a kind of family in its way (and, y’know, “blood of my blood” and stuff) but since it’s more conceptual/re: dragons than re: specific characters (I mean Jorah [Iain Glen], yeah, and her maids, though that’s a whole other meta, but) I’m not going into it much.

6. Sofia has four or five mommies and a daddy or two (Deadwood)
This one is complicated because strictly speaking, Alma (Molly Parker) basically adopts Sofia (Bree Seanna Wall), and Alma and Ellsworth (Jim Beaver) do get married.  But it’s my favorite adoptive mommy&daddy situation ever, basically; it’s different than if Alma was actively seeking a child to adopt, which is cool too, but this is more a case of stumbling into it and deciding that yes, she liked the little impromptu family.  And Ellsworth was a great fake dad.  I also bring this up because this is a relatively literal “it takes a village to raise a child” situation – I guess it’s more “Sofia has a mommy and three or four aunt figures” than the above, I just like how the above sounds.  Considering that Sofia is influenced by Trixie (Paula Malcomson) and Jane (Robin Weigert), to a lesser extent Martha (Anna Gunn) and occasionally even Joanie (Kim Dickens), as well as sometimes having Sol (John Hawkes) and Seth (Timothy Olyphant) in her life (and even Bill [Keith Carradine] a teensy bit back in the day), well.  Everyone is contributing to the life of this one adorable little girl, and I think it’s really sweet.

5. The Sons of Anarchy (Sons of Anarchy)
Wow, I don’t have nearly as much meta about these guys as I do about, y’know, everyone else, but they’re worth mentioning.  They’re totally a family, and for a long time Clay (Ron Perlman) and Gemma (Katey Sagal) were the daddy and mommy, easy; they’re married, yes, and Jax (Charlie Hunnam) is their RL kid, and the whole mess with Maureen (Paula Malcomson) and Trinny (Zoe Boyle) and Abel and Tara (Maggie Siff) and my point is there are a lot of blood relations, yes, but the whole extended club is family in their way.  Sometimes a family that doesn’t get on that well, but family nonetheless.

4. I heard it called “the family Godric” somewhere online and I don’t remember where, but I’m going with it (True Blood)
(Well, technically vampire families are by blood, just not in “we share blood because I literally contributed to the creation of your DNA” way.  But they count, because it’s a family that’s chosen and created.)  The family Godric is all of the vampires who are descended from the bloodline created by now-deceased Godric (Allan Hyde), with his children Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) and Nora (Lucy Griffiths), Eric’s child Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten), and Pam’s child Tara (Rutina Wesley).  And now I’m all curious about whether Nora’s ever been a maker.  But I’m shutting up about it now.  Because even vampire families aren’t always by blood, I also sort of count Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) in the family Godric – well, Bill (Stephen Moyer) was her maker, but Eric and Pam did foster her when she was a newborn, and she totally does act like Pam’s bratty little sister sometimes.  (Bill can maybe be the uncle in the family, the one that nobody really likes that much but they’ve all had to deal with him.)  And now that the family Godric is a proper thing, ridiculous family times with the whole crowd now that they all know each other is one of three things I want from season six.  I basically just want them acting like they’re all in high school: Pam and Tara, the snarky ones who make out with each other and then threaten you with physical violence just ‘cause and insult everyone, Nora the socially maladjusted genius child (since going from the Authority to not just that is probably sort of like going from private school to public school or something) just being dry and British all over, Eric the golden boy, the noble bad boy type, and for good measure Jessica naïve and also not naïve “good girl” who isn’t really that “good,” just chipper.  This is their family dynamic, and yep, it works for me and I like it.

3. The Whirlwind (Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel)
(Also technically a bloodline, but.)  Darla (Julie Benz), who sired Angelus (David Boreanaz), who sired Drusilla (Juliet Landau), who sired Spike (James Marsters).  In the above vampire family,  the lines between parent and child are a little blurry, but in the Whirlwind, even taking the romantic relationships out of the equation, it’s very clear who’s what: Darla and Angel are the parents, period, and Dru and Spike are the kids, period.  Or at least it’s very clearly big sister and brother/little sister and brother.  There is no room for flexibility with these guys, and who’s in charge is clear, period.  Age isn’t relative, it’s very necessary.  But despite the fact that these guys are evil and crazy, their interactions are intriguing.  A lot of bad goes down, yes, but… well, this.

2. The Scoobies (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
(Okay, at this point I’ve seen enough of Angel to have seen a lot of the Whirlwind flashbacks, which I’d read about anyway, but I’m still in season two, so I don’t know enough about the whole Angel Investigations group to really discuss their forever dynamic.  Since people add in on the fairly regular.  I love them as far as I know them, though.  I love them a lot.  I just don’t have intelligent thoughts in excess yet.)  This is a whole lot of characters: Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar), Willow (Alyson Hannigan), Xander (Nicholas Brendon), Giles (Anthony Stewart Head), Cordelia (Charisma Carpenter), Angel (David Boreanaz), Oz (Seth Green), Anya (Emma Caulfield), Riley (Marc Blucas), Tara (Amber Benson), Dawn (Michelle Trachtenberg), Spike (James Marsters), even sort of Andrew (Tom Lenk) and Faith (Eliza Dushku), not to mention I guess technically the Potentials sort of count, and eh, I’m probably forgetting to throw others in there because there are so many Scoobies.  What I love about the Scooby Gang is that yes, they’re a family, they’re a family easily, but they’re variable.  The lineup changes all the time.  Several of the Scoobies are reformed baddies to one extent or another.  The group is comprised of Slayers, of witches, of vampires, of ex-demons, of ex-energy blobs, of (ex-)soldiers, of (ex-)Watchers, of werewolves, of just regular people hanging out fighting the good fight.  Provided they want to fight the good fight and aren’t assholes, any variety of person can wind up a Scooby, and everyone gives something unique and necessary to the group.  Giles is the dad, of course; Buffy and Dawn play big/little sister pretty obviously, Xander’s the big brother, Willow’s sort of the middle sister who’s trying to prove herself, Cordy and Anya are the sometimes-abrasive cousins, Tara’s the big sister who ends up playing mom, Oz is the middle brother who’s shrugging and going along with it, Angel’s sort of the older cousin type who never knows what to do with himself at these family things, Andrew’s the twerpy little brother, Spike and Faith are the rebellious middle children who also want to prove themselves, it’s just this big mess of how people work together.

1. The crew of Serenity (Firefly)
The best best ain’t always blood family that ever has been and ever will be.  Literally they are the reason I started saying “family ain’t always blood,” which should be abso-bloody-lutely obvious, really.  Mal (Nathan Fillion), Zoe (Gina Torres), Wash (Alan Tudyk), Kaylee (Jewel Staite), Jayne (Adam Baldwin), Inara (Morena Baccarin), Simon (Sean Maher), River (Summer Glau), Book (Ron Glass), and it doesn’t matter that Zoe and Wash are married or that Simon and River are siblings for true, it is perfect.  Mal’s the protective big brother and occasionally the daddy, Book’s sort of the grandpa or the kindly uncle (sorry, Book, it’s true), Zoe and Inara are big sisters forever, Jayne’s the douche big brother, Wash and Kaylee are the middle siblings (Kaylee tending to be little sister a lot of the time, but not always), Simon’s the mannersly big brother, River’s the littlest sister forever.  But the magical thing about these guys is that even in all of the gēgē/dìdì/jiějie/mèimei stuff, it’s not like the roles are static.  Big sisters/brothers look after little sisters/brothers or after each other, but little sisters, for example, look after big brothers (and everyone else).  Captain Daddy doesn’t treat l’il albatross like a child exactly (sometimes treats her like a liability, but that’s when it’s reasonable, not knowing everything, to feel that way) and when Zoe comic-canonically births her child, that child is going to have a whole passel of aunts and uncles.  L’il Kaylee is clearly everyone’s little sister (the baby before River shows up) but nobody ever underestimates her on account of it.  Everyone looks out for each other.  They made this family that counts for so much, that often counts for more than the families they were born to anymore, that matters so much they’ll all die for it if need be and a couple of them do.  It’s a family made by circumstance, by proximity, by camaraderie, by belief, but by love most of all, absolute and pure and real familial love that is so so good.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: the magic of Deadwoodcest, part two

 This is a sequel to a foreverago post.  Remember I said I’d list out literally everyone who had appeared on Law & Order and CSI type shows who was in the Deadwood mafia?  It’s on.

Law and Order:
Brad Dourif, Anna Gunn, Garret Dillahunt, Cynthia Ettinger, Sarah Paulson, Zach Grenier, Danielle McKee, Keith Carradine, Nicholas Surovy, Gareth Williams,

Law and Order: Special Victims Unit:
Brad Dourif, Pasha D. Lychnikoff, Garret Dillahunt, Michael Harney, Sarah Paulson, Zach Grenier, Danielle McKee, Izabella Miko, Fiona Dourif, Gordon Clapp, Gale Harold,

Law and Order: LA:
Robin Weigert, Jim Beaver, Titus Welliver, Gareth Williams,

Law and Order: Criminal Intent:
Stephen Tobolowsky, Alice Krige, Dennis Christopher.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation:
W. Earl Brown, Paula Malcomson, Dayton Callie, Robin Weigert, Sean Bridgers, Jim Beaver, Titus Welliver, Peter Jason, Garret Dillahunt, Brent Sexton, Gerald McRaney, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Zach Grenier, Cleo King, Stephen Tobolowsky, Julie Ariola, Gill Gayle, Dennis Christopher, Tim DeZarn, Candice Cook, Timothy Omundson, Marshall Bell, Clay Wilcox, George Adams, William Russ, Channon Roe, Zack Ward, Jim Cody Williams, Paul Blackthorne, Seth Peterson, Gordon Clapp, Austin Nichols, Jane Leigh Connelly.

CSI: NY:
Garret Dillahunt, Gill Gayle, Kevin P. Kearns, Clay Wilcox, William Russ, Maury Sterling, Seth Peterson, Gale Harold, Cullen Douglas.

CSI: Miami:
Stephen Tobolowsky, Philip Moon, Timothy Omundson, Clay Wilcox, Gareth Williams, Channon Roe, Paul Blackthorne, Omar Gooding, Austin Nichols.

I will also mention titles, or appearances, that have appeared since last I did this (or that I just didn’t register until now).

Justified:
Jim Beaver, Stephen Tobolowsky, Jennifer Lutheran, Gill Gayle, Tim DeZarn, Clay Wilcox, Jackson Bridgers, Channon Roe,

Outlaw Country: (I don’t even know what this is, but hey)
John Hawkes, Paula Malcomson

American Horror Story:
W. Earl Brown, Sarah Paulson.

Weeds:
Michael Harney, Tom Simmons, Franc Ross.

True Blood:
Fiona Dourif, Greg Cipes, Cullen Douglas.

I believe I’ll have to do Whedonmafia/Deadwood mafia crossovers some other time, too.

–your fangirl heroine.

Fictional Friday :: 5 fictional genres that spark my interest fairly immediately

…and leave me either disappointed or really, really happy.

5. Vampire stuff.
This one is the least automatic of the list, because I don’t go ooh gimme for every vampire thing.  For example, I will probably never watch The Vampire Diaries (because really, I am a snob, but the CW… I was willing to make an exception for Sarah Michelle Gellar, and I still don’t even know if Ringer was worth it).  And yeah, Twilight was a mistake forever.  But obviously, Buffy and True Blood and things of that nature.  And I enjoy C-movies I see on Chiller or SyFy or at Blockbuster that are about vampires.  This is also on the list because it is a genre that sometimes I regret and a genre that I criticize the hell out of in certain cases.

4. The 1960s.  Is that even a genre?
No, really, is it?  I am a gigantic sucker for it, though.  I have been my whole life, though it used to be more hippie late 60s and now it’s more obvious Mad Men early/mid 60s.  But this one is so pervasive it extends to real life: apparently the Disneyland Hotel has been remodeled all mid-century modern, and we are planning on being in Disneyland later this year, and while we will not stay there as it is exorbitantly priced, welp, as they say.  Mid-century modern with a restaurant and bar to visit?  Suddenly I know what I’m packing and I know what we’re doing one night.  The 1960s were crap for a lot of social reasons, and I acknowledge that, but I crave the aesthetic value of the clothing and the architecture and the music and the cocktails and stuff often.

3. Apocalypses.
Which are totally a genre don’t even.  I mean, more often than not apocalypses leave me sorely disappointed; my favorite kind of apocalypse is the zombie kind, though my love for the genre does not only reach to zombie apocalypses.  I dunno.  I enjoy apocalypse stories because they are morbid and also because, particularly if they’re zombie-related, I feel comfortable analyzing them to death and feeling vaguely authoritative on the subject.  (And no, shouting “double tap” at the screen does not count as analyzing.  Helpful advice, sure, but really?  I am more concerned with group dynamic and weapon usage and stuff.)

2. Film noir.
Always weird; I mean, you have James Ellroy, whose works are novels (that then became films, yes) but it’s still the film noir genre.  Detective mysteries, 1940s-1950s, stylish and morbid and probably involving a lot of gun violence.  This one has come back to bite me often: good film noir is good, really good, and I love it.  Bad film noir is often bad.  Cheesy and cliche.  A lot of things proclaim themselves as “modern noir,” too, which is still an instant grab to me, but really a debatable thing.  For example, Brick, the high school noir with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Nora Zehetner, is good and I really like it, but Passion Play, which had a very legitimate cast but was so forgettable I just had to look up its title, is not so good and I did not like it.  Also, film noir is a problematic genre in the way that the 1960s genre can be problematic, what with pesky things like misogyny everywhere.  Let’s talk about LA Confidential for a second, though: here you really only have one main female, Lynn Bracken, and she doesn’t run around shooting people and she gets beat up by men and she’s a whore, yes, but she doesn’t damsel, really.  She’s at least an interesting character in her own right.  I saw the trailer for the upcoming film Gangster Squad and went “ooh yay noir” but then immediately started to go “okay is Emma Stone’s character going to be legitimately interesting and well-written or just a spunky damsel?”  I really hope the former, because this is my biggest noir gripe.

1. Late 1800s period pieces.
Many of which are Westerns, yeah.  I am not a complete sucker for the entire Western genre; cowboys tend to bore me.  But I like lawmen and halfway-established towns full of ne’er-do-wells and saloon girls.  And aside from sloppy generic characterizations and sloppy generic sets and sloppy generic plots, which do happen, particularly in low-rent Western-types, the saloon girls are what I judge these hardest about.  This is 100% the fault of Deadwood, which taught me what saloon girls should be (and also how you write good female characters in Westerns).  Saloon girls should not look like they bought their clothes at Pete’s Party Plaza or whatever the hell the party supply store of your choosing may be.  They should not wear brightly colored satin with black lace and black fringe, accompanied by a black feather sticking out of their perfectly neat updo.  For that matter, a saloon girl’s dress should not look brand new or actually new at all.  There should be flaws.  And what is the saloon girl’s role in the plot?  Is she just there to hang on a man while he plays cards and drinks?  Maybe scream during the breakout of a gun battle?  Yeah, no, I will be rolling my eyes.  There should also be interesting women in the story who aren’t saloon girls, and I’m not just talking about extras.  There should be women with lines who aren’t saloon girls.  And at least some of the saloon girls should actually have lines themselves, probably.  Etcetera.

–your fangirl heroine.

Theatre Thursday :: 5 insane theoretical musical adaptaions that would be either epic or excruciating

The worst slash very very minutely possibly best ideas I could think of while looking at my DVDs and my DVR.  Either they would be brilliant or they would be train wrecks.  Probably train wrecks, but.

5. Zombieland
Four-person (more if you count the zombie chorus and Bill Murray) casts can be fun.  With the exception of Zombie Prom, of which I only know the repeated line “Johnny don’t go to the nuclear plaaaaant,” there are not enough zombie musicals.  But I don’t really know how the humor would translate to the stage, what with the survival tips and all.  I’m imagining projections and/or asides, which would likely seem cheesy and weird.  The cast could be adored easily (cute and sassy romantic leads, wacky adult, spunky young girl, it’s a winning formula in theory), but this could easily be trying way too hard.  And speaking of Bill Murray, it wouldn’t be as funny without him actually playing himself, and he wouldn’t, so that joke wouldn’t translate either.

4. Reservoir Dogs
See above re: trying too hard.  It could potentially be acceptable, but it would probably be a disaster.  The music would have to be rock-esque, but not too modern because it’s a 90s movie, but not too 90s because you wouldn’t want it to seem dated.  I’m imagining this without an intermission, mostly because I can’t really figure where the intermission would go, but you would have to cut things out to fit any time frame reasonable for humans to sit in a theater, and it just… the odds are slim.

3. Deadwood
See, and I am all for a stage show about gun battles and Western whores, and my first mental image of this wasn’t a terrible one.  I can see everyone having one really great sung monologue or something.  But I just can’t imagine what of the plot you could trim down for a stage show without missing something else.  And there are, you know, a billion characters, so it would be impossible.  I think writing songs for each character would be a fun project, but stringing them all into one stage show would be heinous.

2. Game of Thrones
Well, they made a Lord of the Rings musical, and apparently that worked somewhat decently?  I’ve never seen it and haven’t heard from it, but it isn’t completely despised or anything.  This is really the same exact problem as the Deadwood musical, though.  I can easily imagine songs being written for every single character, and I’m sure that the right composer could manage it, but I just can’t imagine trimming all of this into a stage show.  You’d be trimming characters and plots every which way, and that’s the beauty of Game of Thrones.  It’s got a thousand and one characters, all of whom deserve their moments.  But I’d estimate it as having a… .3% chance of being workable.

1. X-Men
This was actually offhandedly suggested by a classmate of mine.  I thought about it, and while again, the odds are so very against (that cast of thousands problem, the Spider-man proven superhero musical difficulty) I would be rooting for whoever undertook this insane project to succeed in a way.  If just for the underdogginess of it.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: 5 understatedly awesome television men

5. Kip “Half-Sack” Epps (Johnny Lewis, Sons of Anarchy)
I don’t know why I found this guy so damn endearing.  And I always feel weird talking about him because seriously, his nickname was a reference to his testicles.  That’s awkward.  Probably I liked him because of his tendency to be a total goofball one minute and a total badass the next.  Even the characters on the show didn’t give him enough credit.  But he was a pro, and he was loyal as hell, and he was useful, and he was funny.  All of these are valuable things.

4. Charlie Utter (Dayton Callie, Deadwood)
Charlie is just such a champion among men.  He isn’t perfect, but he has good intentions.  He may be a little rash, a little violent, but he stands up for his own.  He makes friends, not perfectly but often, and once he counts someone as his own, he’ll do even stupid things to look out for them or to stand up for their interests.  He’s also loyal, also a badass, but he’s not showy about it either.  He just goes about his business and occasionally engages in really endearing platonic friendships and that’s that.

3. Sol Star (John Hawkes, Deadwood)
I think I may have touched on my recently-rekindled love for Sol lately.  I definitely mentioned my shipper heart for him and Trixie.  But I thought about it and seriously, he is one of mine.  He is awkward.  He is snarky.  He is just a good guy who sometimes is roped into not-good situations.  He is smart as hell.  He rolls with the punches.  If the show was present-day, he would completely be that guy with the techie know-how and the overlarge academic vocabulary.  And he’s funny.  Also, again with the loyalty.  That is an overlying theme here.

2. Daniel “Oz” Osbourne (Seth Green, Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Yeah, all of the guys on this list have things in common other than being understated.  Loyalty, humor.  Oz is just as chill as can be, and he’s got a good heart.  He is a taciturn man, but he is delightfully so.  He cares about people, even if he’s reserved about showing it.  He’s, again, funny.  He’s really funny.  He’s got such a dry sense of humor, but it’s perfection.  He prioritizes self-actualization, which is neat, because some people don’t and are content to just float around being whoever they wind up being.  He likes knowing who he is and being as comfortable with it as he can be.  And that’s a good thing, generally.  Even if it leads to the sad also.

1. Tim Gutterson (Jacob Pitts, Justified)
Yes, yes.  Funny sarcastic guy again.  But seriously.  He has the driest sense of humor and he is such a badass.  He’s all “la la, snark snark, oh wait, PERFECT SNIPER SHOT.”  He is, as I have said before, such a freaking smartass also, and he can get his business done.  He’ll get it done, then help out where needed, and he’ll still have time to snark all over everyone’s everything.  He’s not always integral to every plot, but he’s integral to the workings of the Marshals’ Agency.  They need a guy like Tim around to get things done and then knock them all off their high horses with his quips of amazingness.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: 5 Deadwood romances of varying statuses

This could also be titled “1 marriage of convenience that is love but perhaps not of that kind, 1 marriage that began as a marriage of convenience but seemed to maybe be more than that by the end, 1 instance of unresolved sexual tension that was resolved sexily but then ended, 1 surprisingly sweet not-quite-defined instance of ladylove or something like it, and 1 romance that should not have been as absolutely as cute as it was, but was.”

5. Alma Garret and Whitney Ellsworth (Molly Parker and Jim Beaver)
1 marriage of convenience that is love but perhaps not of that kind.  Recently rewatching with a friend, she expressed a distaste for the Alma/Ellsworth union immediately after the proposal.  Yes, it is the most awkward.  Yes, Alma loves or at least loved Seth, so it was a bad idea in that regard.  But… ugh, Ellsworth is just such a champion of a human.  Even knowing that he’s signing up to play the second fiddle, he thinks he’s doing the right thing.  And were the show set nowadays, it would likely be a different case, but in the 1800s, it was, if nothing else, a nice thought?  Alma and Ellsworth were never going to have a great, sexual, tumultuous love, but they cared for each other in their way; as Margaret Fuller said in her essay, “The Great Lawsuit,” “It was only friendship, whose basis was esteem; probably neither party knew love, except by name.”  They respect each other, and Ellsworth puts Alma’s happiness over everything until the end.

4. Martha and Seth Bullock (Anna Gunn and Timothy Olyphant)
1 marriage that began as a marriage of convenience but seemed to maybe be more than that by the end.  As I’ve said before and recently rediscovered, it is very, very easy to just shrug Martha off at first.  It’s easy to get caught up in the Alma/Seth and want Martha/Seth to fail so he can go back to the sexy loves.  And in a way, that would be great.  But Seth is a responsible man and knows that cannot be.  Again, would it be different in a different setting?  Maybe.  But by the end, I’m all for Martha/Seth.  They grow into an also-awkward amiability.

3. Alma Garret and Seth Bullock
1 instance of unresolved sexual tension that was resolved sexily but then ended.  Alma and Seth make eyes for a while, but the majority of their relationship takes place in a time gap between season one and season two, so we don’t really see any of it except for the lead-up, one steamy makeout session, one postcoital discussion, and the yucky aftermath.  She says she loves or loved him; he seems to love or have loved her.  But they cannot be, because of reasons.  Mostly Martha reasons, which is why it’s easy to want to hate/root against Martha.  But it’s not her fault, it’s the fault of the situation she embodies unknowingly.  So yes, Alma and Seth were yummy, but they were hardly endgame.

2. Joanie Stubbs and Jane Cannary (Kim Dickens and Robin Weigert)
1 surprisingly sweet not-quite-defined instance of ladylove or something like it.  And now we’re getting into the Deadwood romances that I actually consider on my fangirl “ship” list.  I was thinking about just doing a list of couples on non-Whedon television shows that I really, truly consider to be on the ship list, but I realized that there were alarmingly few.  I love a lot of shows and a lot of their characters, but I don’t necessarily have warm fuzzies about their romances.  This one and the next on this list, though, I have the feelings about.  Joanie and Jane never really officialized what they had.  Joanie and Jane were friends who cuddled and talked and didn’t talk and kissed and there was something there, they both knew it, they didn’t deny it, but they never said “oh, we’re a thing.”  Largely because of both of their personalities, I think; their relationship grew slowly, but it was endearing as all get-out.  Even just in the friend stage.

1. Trixie and Sol Star (Paula Malcomson and John Hawkes)
1 romance that should not have been as absolutely as cute as it was, but was.  It wasn’t until this last go-round of Deadwood started that I realized how hard I shipped Trixie and Sol.  I mean, I’ve always found their relationship nice.  Sometimes Sol is accidentally not good at the romance because of the standards of his time and his awkwardness about the situation and other such things, sometimes Trixie is accidentally not good at the romance because of the life she’s lived making her standards strange and her sometimes-abrasive personality.  But they are just so cute with each other from the get-go, and they have a way with each other that is precious, and no romance can be perfect, but they are still darling and lovely and seriously, surprisingly cute.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: a Deadwood MBTI

(Surprise, I come closest to Joanie.  There are surprisingly few who typed out as introverts in this bunch.)

This isn’t quite as speculative as the Dollhouse minor characters chart, because all of these characters have significantly more screen time.  Deadwood has so many damn characters, all of whom are well-written, but here are nine of the main-ish ones just because.  Descriptions, as before, derived from typelogic.com and my analysis.  I really, really enjoy doing this.

Cy Tolliver (Powers Boothe)
ENFP.  “They want to both help and to be liked and admired by other people, on both an individual and a humanitarian level… For some ENFPs, relationships can be seriously tested by their short attention spans and emotional needs. They are easily intrigued and distracted by new friends and acquaintances, forgetting their older and more familiar emotional ties for long stretches at a time. And the less mature ENFP may need to feel they’re the constant center of attention, to confirm their image of themselves as a wonderful and fascinating person.”  The ENFP description is wholly one of a probably nicer person than Cy, but just like how there are sometimes assholes in Gryffindor and nice people in Slytherin, Cy represents the bitchier ENFP.  He has a severe need for approval, improvement, and attention.

Alma Garret Ellsworth (Molly Parker)
INTP.  “INTPs are relatively easy-going and amenable to almost anything until their principles are violated, about which they may become outspoken and inflexible. They prefer to return, however, to a reserved albeit benign ambiance, not wishing to make spectacles of themselves… In seasons of low energy level, or moments of single-minded concentration, the INTP is aloof and detached in a way that might even offend more relational or extraverted individuals… Feeling tends to be all or none. When present, the INTP’s concern for others is intense, albeit naive. In a crisis, this feeling judgement is often silenced by the emergence of Thinking, who rushes in to avert chaos and destruction. In the absence of a clear principle, however, INTPs have been known to defer judgement and to allow decisions about interpersonal matters to be left hanging lest someone be offended or somehow injured.”  I have this feeling that, were she raised in a different time and society, Alma would have the possibility to be a different kind of person, type-wise.  Particularly with “defer[ing] judgement” and things like that.  But Alma is a badass, basically, a badass of the quiet sort, and that will always show through.

Al Swearengen (Ian McShane)
ESTP. “Activities involving great power, speed, thrill and risk are attractive to the ESTP. Chronic stifling of these impulses makes the ESTP feel ‘dead inside.’  Gamesmanship is the calling card of the ESTP. Persons of this type have a natural drive to best the competition. Some of the most successful salespersons are ESTPs. P.T. Barnum (“Never give a sucker an even break”) illustrates the unscrupulous contingent of this type… Some ESTPs are keenly discriminating; only those elements of singular quality and experience will suffice. Others revel in earthiness. If baseness can elicit shock from more squeamish observers, so much the better.”  This is dictionary-definition Al: “gamesmanship” is what he does.  While Cy strives for attention and renown, Al acquires those things by doing naturally what others have to work to do and still can’t accomplish as well.

Sol Star (John Hawkes)
ENTJ. “The ENTJ requires little encouragement to make a plan… This ability may be expressed as salesmanship, story-telling facility or stand-up comedy. In combination with the natural propensity for filibuster, our hero can make it very difficult for the customer to decline… ENTJs are decisive. They see what needs to be done, and frequently assign roles to their fellows… The light and heat generated by Thinking at the helm can be impressive; perhaps even overwhelming.”  I was on the fence about whether Sol should type out E or I for a while, really, but what it ultimately comes down to is that he’s an E who is capable of and comfortable with I behavior when the situation calls for it; he does have a certain 1800s-almost-nerdy charisma to him that’s pretty distinctively E, though.

Joanie Stubbs (Kim Dickens)
INFJ.  “Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life… INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of ‘poetic justice’ is appealing to the INFJ… Extraverted feeling, the auxiliary deciding function, expresses a range of emotion and opinions of, for and about people. INFJs, like many other FJ types, find themselves caught between the desire to express their wealth of feelings and moral conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others, and the awareness of the consequences of unbridled candor. Some vent the attending emotions in private, to trusted allies. Such confidants are chosen with care, for INFJs are well aware of the treachery that can reside in the hearts of mortals.”  Basically, Joanie is a champion, and I am proud to have typed out matching her.  She is an I who is capable of behaving like an E when the situation calls for it, but even if she’s pretending she’s such a true soul.

Trixie (Paula Malcomson)
ENTP.  “ENTPs are basically optimists, but in spite of this (perhaps because of it?), they can become petulant about small setbacks and inconveniences. (Major setbacks they regard as challenges, and tackle with determination.) ENTPs have little patience with those they consider wrongheaded or unintelligent, and show little restraint in demonstrating this… Some appear deceptively offhand with their nearest and dearest; others are so demonstrative that they succeed in shocking co-workers who’ve only seen their professional side.”  Trixie is a champion, too.  Trixie is a definite E, though she has her I moments; she’s more comfortable relating to and dealing with other people than herself, though not necessarily because of insecurities.  It’s simply what she’s used to.

Charlie Utter (Dayton Callie)
ESTJ.  “They seek out like-minded companions in clubs, civic groups, churches and other service organizations. The need for belonging is woven into the fiber of SJs… Service, the tangible expression of responsibility, is another key focus for ESTJs. They love to provide and to receive good service. The ESTJ merchant who provides dependable service has done much to enhance her self image… The ESTJ is outspoken, a person of principles, which are readily expressed. The ESTJ is not afraid to stand up for what she believes is right even in the face of overwhelming odds. ESTJs are able to make the tough calls.”  One of the reasons why Charlie and Seth make such a great working pair is that the STJ is all the same, but Charlie’s E balances Seth’s I out really well.  His friendship with Joanie works because his EST balances her INF; his rapport with Jane works because his TJ balances her FP.  He balances everyone out in ways that he needs to.

Seth Bullock (Timothy Olyphant)
ISTJ.  “ISTJs are often called inspectors. They have a keen sense of right and wrong, especially in their area of interest and/or responsibility… ISTJs are easily frustrated by the inconsistencies of others, especially when the second parties don’t keep their commitments. But they usually keep their feelings to themselves unless they are asked. And when asked, they don’t mince words. Truth wins out over tact… Si is oriented toward the world of forms, essences, generics. Time is such a form, a quantifiable essense of exactitude, the standard to which external events are held. For both of the IS_J types, the sense of propriety comes from the clear definition of these internal forms… Only in times of great distress is the Introverted Feeling expressed (as I witnessed in my dad when a neighbor’s son was killed in a hunting accident). Otherwise, feeling is inferred, or expressed nonverbally, through eye contact, or an encouraging smile.”  ISTJ is the most rulesy of the types, I feel, and though Seth occasionally tends toward something else, he makes a point of catching himself before it gets too out of hand.

Calamity Jane Cannary (Robin Weigert)
ESFP. “ESFPs love people, excitement, telling stories and having fun. The spontaneous, impulsive nature of this type is almost always entertaining… Some of the most colorful storytellers are ESFPs. Their down-to-earth, often homespun wit reflects a mischievous benevolence… Feeling, which tends to decision-making in the interest of individual beings, is auxiliary to sensing. As with all introverted functions, feeling for ESFPs has a surreal, cryptic, quintessential nature. It is more often implied than verbally expressed, more apparent in countenance and deed rather than word or creed. Feeling takes care that playful pokes and pranks do no harm to the victim.”  Jane is a perfect example of how sometimes, the types cannot be avoided.  There is nothing about Jane that isn’t completely true, because she can’t help herself.  She just says everything and does everything she thinks to say or do, whether or not it’s inappropriate, improper, illogical, or what.  She just does.  And she is fabulous for it.

–your fangirl heroine.