Spoiler Alert Saturday :: my thoughts on Avengers: Endgame

Let the past die.

Drift partner whispered this line from The Last Jedi to me during Endgame in regards to a particular scene, but the more I think about it the more it sums up my thoughts about the movie and honestly the MCU at large.

Per the avid requests for no undesirable spoiler reveals I’m going to preface this discussion with the fact that this has a lot of spoilers. Not all of them, but a lot.

I’m not referring to the actual death in the film when I say the aforementioned Star Wars thing. I can think of slightly worse ways for Natasha (Scarlett Johansson) to have gone out, but I have the kind of morbid mind that comes from living in Buffy and Game of Thrones. (At least it was more Anya than Tara, more Ygritte than Ros. “At least.”) Suffice to say I’m actually angrier about that today than I was the day I saw the film. Many more reupatble publications and bloggers have gone into this in more detail and all I have to add is speculation that I’m going to withhold out of supersition. I’m not making drift partner get into it beacause she’s even angerier and in an even more personal way (I’m exempting her from this review altogether for this reason). But one of the biggest reasons that it’s incredibly annoying is that while it’s technically an active heroic choice made by the character, it’s narratively more about the impact it has on the old guard of white boys than it is about her as a character and a woman.

That’s the past I’m saying should die.

They finally let Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) die, and while it was drawn out it’s done. (Sorry, pals. Friendly reminder that this is not a Tony Stark-friendly blog.) Steve (Chris Evans) too is out of the game, thanks to wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey shenanigans that I can’t even be mad about because when I heard the spoiler I was prepared for it to be a lot dumber and more insulting. Plus, Steve’s my big brother. I want him to have happiness and a good nap, or whatever.

So of said old guard, that leaves Thor (Chris Hemsworth) – who is the subject of a lot of really unacceptable weight-related jokes – and Clint (Jeremy Renner) – who spends the entire movie doing completely unnecessary and often slightly racist things out of his manpain – and Bruce (Mark Ruffalo) – who has integrated with the Hulk and spends most of the movie explaining things or being explained to. The former goes off with the Guardians at the end, which will be fun if it’s not just one futile dick-measuring contest (futile because, c’mon Quill, Thor will win any contest with you but especially one about your alleged prowess) and the latter two are at least tentatively slated for Disney+ shows. Now, Clint matters not at all, but his show will bring in his successor-Hawkeye, Kate Bishop, so that’s useful. (We have theories about the Disney+ lineup, but again, not sharing widely from supersition.) But even if 3/5 of the old guard of white boys still stands, I want to talk about the new guard, some of whom come from Avengers 2.0 (post-Ultron) and some of whom appeared after.

That’s:

• Rhodey, aka War Machine (Don Cheadle), a disabled black man whose suit is functionally identical to Tony’s but who’s genuinely a more likable person
• Sam, aka Falcon, maybe aka Captain America (Anthony Mackie), a black man with PTSD who inherited Cap’s shield and already had his moral compass (and is already slated for another Disney+ show with…)
• Bucky, fka the Winter Soldier, maybe aka the White Wolf (Sebastian Stan), a disabled white man with PTSD who’s sort of a narrative and skillset-related blank slate since we still mostly only know him as a cipher
• Wanda, aka Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen), a white girl with PTSD (who’s Jewish and also several shades of mentally ill even if the MCU never acknowledges it), who’s one of three (3) characters strong enough to hurt Thanos using only her innate abilities (and who is also slated for a Disney+ show)
• Scott, aka Ant-Man (Paul Rudd), a white man who hits some previously-established power quotas on the team and Trojan-horses in his daughter Cassie (part of the aforementioned speculation) and already Trojan-horsed in
• Hope, aka the Wasp (Evangeline Lilly), a white woman who gets all the shit done and also seems like a likely candidate to bankroll it
• Peter P., aka Spider-Man (Tom Holland), a white boy (who should/could be Jewish) who just wants to help!! (already slated for a second solo film)
• T’Challa, aka Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman), a black man who’s the literal king of the coolest nation on Earth (already slated for a second solo film)
• Shuri, maybe also aka Black Panther (Letitia Wright), a black woman who’s the smartest person on Earth and a literal princess
• Okoye, general of the Dora Milaje (Danai Gurira), a black woman who leads the best and also coolests femael squadron of frighters
• Valkyrie, fka Brunnhilde (Tessa Thompson), a bisexual and multiracial (black/Latina/white) woman with PTSD who’s functionally immortal, now the warrior queen of Asgard, and rides a fucking pegasus
• Carol, aka Captain Marvel (Brie Larson), a white woman with PTSD (who’s coded very queerly) who’s the second of three (3) people strong enough to take out Thanos and also basically anyone, who defends the entirety of space like a badass (going to have a second solo film)
• Pepper, aka Rescue (Gwyneth Paltrow), a white woman just starting out in the hero game but those of us who knew this was a possibility screamed with delight because we have been shouting for this since Iron Man 3
• the collective Guardians (Peter Quill [Chris Pratt] the white boy, Rocket [Bradley Cooper] the gun raccoon, Groot [Vin Diesel] the deus ex tree, Drax [Dave Bautista] the brawler who’s a Filipino man under all that alien makeup, Nebula [Karen Gillan] the angry blue disabled abuse survivor, Mantis [Pom Klementieff] the aggressively optimistic empath who’s the third of three [3] people strong enough to affect Thanos and technically a Korean woman – who also have another film coming)

Do you see my point? My hope is that Endgame was Marvel killing the structure of the past, the fact that the narrative was so white/male-centered. That now we’ll be able to tell more of the stories that the rest of us want to hear, the stories that reprsent a more genuine universe. (I will point out that the first POC headlining hero and first female headlining hero are among those with more films coming and that both Guardians and Spider-Man have fairly diverse casts despite being about white guys named Peter.)

But for example: on one hand that shot of all of the female fighters was sort of pandering (you want this, eat it up) and it stung that Black Widow wasn’t present, but I still got a giddy little thrill seeing so many of my faves coexisting powerfully. It’s the giddy thrill that I got during so much of Black Panther and Captain Marvel, except since so much of this movie (which in my opinion is technically overall better than Infinity War despite its more glaringly obvious flaws) was less exciting it felt almost more thrilling by comparison. Finally! Things going in the right direction.

And I’m not even discussing the characters in the greater MCU that weren’t in the final battle. There’s Maria (Lashanna Lynch) and Monica Rambeau, Nakia (Lupita Nyong’o), MJ (Zendaya Coleman) and Ned (Jacob Batalon), everyone from the television shows that deserve more love and attention. We’re on a precipice, is my point.

We’ve been going slowly torward something greater. I just hope and pray Marvel is smart enough to see that they’re already late getting there.

–your fangirl heroine.

I just realized that I got to the end of this review and forgot to mention Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch). Suffer.

Superlative Monday :: the 2019 SAG Awards

Or: don’t care, Black Panther got Cast and Stunt Ensemble in a Motion Picture.

Is this actually going to be a post about the cast of Black Panther kicking ass? You bet it is. (Guess that also makes this Marvel Monday. Cool cool cool.)

There are many, many strengths in this movie, but the performances and characters and character relationships are some of the most important. I cannot stress this enough. The film is visually stunning, conceptually thrilling, but if the people weren’t strong it wouldn’t be nearly what it is.

T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) is honestly one of the most likable men I’ve ever seen in a movie, especially an action-driven one. He’s capable of great vengeance and great compassion, he’s nervous about change but willing to consider the options, he’s a fair fighter, he believes in righting wrongs. He anchors a story very nicely because he can play into so many sides of it, emotionally. And his relationships with others!

Of course there’s Nakia (Lupita Nyong’o), his ex/potential lover, a social justice spy who’s got the most progressive and vital outlook on the world of any character (wanting to use resources to lift others up, not tear them down; not wanting to keep things to themselves). Nakia is my favorite character in the film, largely because of her emotional and social intelligence (and also because Lupita is a goddess, let’s be real). She’s tough but her greatest strengths are her mind and heart. And she and T’Challa are absolutely adorable, easily one of the best (m/f) couples in the MCU (or anything).

And there’s Okoye (Danai Gurira), the leader of his bodyguards the Dora Milaje. She’s a stoic warrior, with many of the character traits you typically get associated with male characters, but she’s also a loving partner, caring friend, and concerned citizen. While she has friendly (though respectful) repartee with T’Challa and a very interesting friendly but contradictory dynamic with Nakia, the relationship that’s meant to have most weight for her in the story is with W’Kabi (Daniel Kaluuya). And even he is someone she’ll go to battle against for her beliefs.

Shuri (Letitia Wright) is a techie genius, memelord, annoying little sister, and innovator, Ramonda (Angela Bassett) is a strong queen, emotional and reserved as it’s needed, and with T’Challa and with T’Challa’s surrounding people they interact compellingly, realistically, and wonderfully. M’Baku (Winston Duke) is an interesting secondary antagonist but also a surprisingly hilarious character. Killmonger (Michael B. Jordan) is a compelling and sympathetic antagonist (though anyone who says he was fully right should probably be pointed back up to what I said about Nakia’s beliefs and made to rethink their thoughts) and the antagonism between him and T’Challa is palpable but never stagnant and ultimately resolved in a way that’s more about the tragedy of circumstances. Etcetera.

Basically, the interplay of these guys should deserve 20 SAG Awards. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

–your fangirl heroine.

Film Friday :: 2018 in film

You can’t really compare some of the movies I saw this year to each other in any meaningful way. Widows and The Hate U Give are, for example, in a whole different class than Aquaman, which is in a whole different class than Crazy Rich Asians, etc. So it’s back to the ol’ categories for me.

Ranking Superhero Movies

4. Avengers: Infinity War
Of the three Marvel and one DC films out last year, this is the one I enjoyed myself at the least. Ironically, it’s probably also the one I have the most elaborate opinions about. The thing about Infinity War is that there are parts (most of them discussed in my initial linked review) that I really enjoyed, but it also (I didn’t admit to this before because ugh, how embarrassing) triggered a panic attack for me (long story that’s far too psychological to get into). So that’s cool. It’s a very, very mixed bag of a film, and Endgame honestly looks exhausting and DC levels of darkness, but it’s transitory. I know that. And then we’ll be in a new phase, one that’s hopefully even better.

3. Ant-Man and the Wasp
The fact that I liked this more than Infinity War overall still shocks me, believe me. But here’s the thing. I walked out of this movie smiling. I walked out of that one doing the opposite of that. It’s not a particularly deep or insightful film. With the exception of Quantum Zone pseudoscience, I can’t imagine it will have many lasting effects on the cinematic universe at large. But it also had Hope being awesome and it also had Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen) being awesome and even though it ended on snap-related cliffhanger it did so once we the audience had been speculating about what that would entail for weeks and not after we’d just been punched in the face with sadness for two hours. That counts for a lot.

2. Aquaman
This practically just came out but it came out in 2018 and it counts, so there. And it was a great time. The details of why (a kind and supportive protagonist, really amazing female characters, the importance of a superhero movie or really any movie about being mixed-race that’s ultimately so positive, etc.) are ones we already mostly discussed, but. I really cannot recommend this movie too much. It’s equal parts neon shiny flash, earnestness, and give-no-fucks comic book storytelling.

1. Black Panther
I mean, duh. Here’s the thing: I legitimately almost forgot this movie only came out this year. We’ve watched it at home on at least three or four separate occasions already, and every time I notice new things. Every time I feel things. Every time I am in awe. I really hope it actually wins some of the awards it’s nominated for, because it’s not just a great superhero movie or a great action movie or whatever. It’s a great movie period. It’s transcendent. And it’s one of those things that I watch and go “I feel so lucky to even have been around when this first came out, to have gotten to be a part of that in the tiniest way possible.”

Revenge Fantasies

7. Proud Mary
A very traditional revenge fantasy (tropes galore) but by no means a pointless one, and one that is stylish and fun. Haters can reexamine their life choices.

6. Black Panther
Well, at any rate it features Erik’s (Michael B. Jordan) revenge fantasy. He wants to make Wakanda pay for what it did to his father, its former prince, and what negligence he perceives it to have partaken in on a global scale. But there’s been a lot of debate about “Killmonger was right” rhetoric, and it’s not my place to get into it a lot, but I’ll say I strongly support Nakia’s (Lupita Nyong’o) viewpoint instead, which is in effect revolutionary kindness. Using resources to help, not to hurt. That’s a kind of beautiful revenge too, in its own weird way.

5. Avengers: Infinity War
The thwarted revenge fantasy. Nebula (Karen Gillan) and Gamora (Zoe Saldana) want revenge on Thanos (Josh Brolin). It doesn’t work. It goes very poorly. But that purple asshat is gonna get his by Endgame, and if Nebula doesn’t strike the killing blow I’m gonna cut someone. She deserves that.

4. Ocean’s Eight
The comedic revenge fantasy, and one that goes exactly according to plan. Debbie (Sandra Bullock) gets revenge on her ex (Richard Armitage). Pretty much all of the other women get revenge on whatever is holding them back. It’s weirdly uplifting.

3. Sorry to Bother You
Revenge on capitalism, kind of. Sort of. In a very, very strange way. It’s also revenge on moviegoers who thought they were going to get a simple movie that they could easily wrap their heads around, which is still funny to reflect on.

2. The Hate U Give
No no, hear me out. This is also about revolutionary kindness, and it’s that kind of revenge. Revenge against an unjust society. It’s a story about people refusing to be silent and fighting for basic rights and decency in the face of a whole lot of bullshit, and that’s sometimes the most inspirational revenge fantasy available.

1. Widows
And then you have this, which is also a traditional revenge story. A group of widows joins together to commit their deceased husbands’ last perfect crime and get their lives back. You can’t really practice this kind of revenge in real life, as opposed to revolutionary kindness as revenge which you can, but it’s still very satisfying to watch.

Freaking Adorable Romance

4. Love, Simon
Specifically Simon (Nick Robinson) and his quest to find Blue. This is a very sweet gay romance (as well as a sweet platonic story) and a very sweet teenage romance and it’s just 100% worth it. Cynics need not apply, unless they feel they too may have their hearts melted.

3. Crazy Rich Asians
Specifically Rachel (Constance Wu) and Nick (Henry Golding). I am often cynical about m/f romance, I admit this completely. That’s why it’s a shock that this list of adorable romance is primarily m/f. But this is a couple I can very much get behind. They care about each other and want to do what’s right for each other and even though that doesn’t always work they work it out by the film’s end. Love conquers all, etc. Plus, they’re just gorgeous together.

2. Black Panther
Specifically Nakia and T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman). This is how you write exes who get back together. They do. They care about each other. There are never snide remarks. It’s not the ~Huntingbird~ shit I was worrying about it being. It’s just two people who care about each other, still, who are in T’Challa’s case totally undone by the other, who still have identities outside of each other but would do anything for each other.

1. Aquaman
Specifically Arthur (Jason Momoa) and Mera (Amber Heard). Good freaking grief, were these two adorable. As we discussed previously, the build of their relationship (grudging allies to friends to lovers) is believable and charming, and they are so clearly into each other that it’s infectious. Plus, they respect each other, and that’s important. That’s a theme here.

A List, In No Particular Order and Without Commentary, Of Standout Ladies

10. The cast of Ocean’s Eight (Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Sarah Paulson, Mindy Kaling, Helena Bonham-Carter, Awkwafina, Anne Hathaway)

9. Detroit (Tessa Thompson, Sorry to Bother You)

8. Shank (voiced by Gal Gadot, Ralph Breaks the Internet)

7. Mera and Atlanna (Amber Heard and Nicole Kidman, Aquaman)

6. Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen, Ant-Man and the Wasp)

5. The cast of Widows (Viola Davis, Michelle Rodriguez, Elizabeth Debicki, Cynthia Erivo)

4. Starr (Amandla Stenberg, The Hate U Give)

3. Wanda and Gamora (Elizabeth Olsen and Zoe Saldana, Avengers: Infinity War)

2. Astrid Leong (Gemma Chan, Crazy Rich Asians)

1. The ladies of Black Panther (Lupita Nyong’o, Danai Gurira, Letitia Wright, Angela Bassett)

–your fangirl heroine.

Spoiler Alert Sunday :: our thoughts on Avengers: Infinity War

So Infinity War has been happening to the world for about a month now. We went opening weekend, but suffice to say I thought it needed a repeat viewing before we discussed it and said repeat viewing… well, we timed it to follow the SHIELD s5 finale, just in case of something. (We’ll be discussing that tomorrow, and boy howdy, stuff and things, even if it didn’t actually pertain to Infinity War like we were worrying it might.)

Part of the thing about this movie is the official call for No Spoilers. Well, it’s been a month and that’s been broken plenty of times on the internet by now, but just in case you’re my mom and haven’t seen it yet we’ll keep the endgame stuff to ourselves. (Except for to say: it’s comics. Little is permanent.)

Instead, one of our regular lists of things we had opinions about, because overall, it was functional but I was mostly there for details, let’s be real.

• This movie is, in my (drift partner’s) opinion, much more watchable than Civil War, which I think is a dumb exercise in misery. The main conceit of Civil War is that nerds like it when superheroes fight each other for some reason, so here is a threadbare reason for them to fight each other I guess. Oh, now everyone is mad and sad and half of them are in boat jail (and I, not drift partner, have some Opinions about boat jail that are not good and get stronger whenever I think about it). Infinity War made fandom sad, but in my opinion, prior to the last sequence, the movie understands how to tell a comic book story better AND it understands how to juggle more than five characters at once. Civil War was also very bad at this. Infinity War mixes up some of the character dynamics and throws our favorites and least favorites into new and exciting situations like: what if Thor met the Guardians! What if Iron Man, Doctor Strange, and Spider-Man met… IN SPACE! What is it like when some of our core heroes are in Wakanda, in awe and varyingly out of place and getting shit done! It bounces back and forth between 4-5 different groups and does so with enough variety that you never really have time to get too tired of any one scene. (Unless Doctor Strange is in it. We do not like him.) There are a few groan-worthy moments and some deeply dumb plot contrivances, but I did not feel like my soul was being sucked slowly from my body while watching it, which was at times the case with Civil War.
• Let’s talk about those three what ifs, shall we? What if Thor met the Guardians! Well, it turns out that if Thor (Chris Hemsworth) met the Guardians it would involve wacky shenanigans. Thor quite literally smacks into the Guardians’ ship as they’re going to answer his (now demolished) ship’s distress call and they bring him aboard, and it goes pretty much exactly like you’d expect. Quill (Chris Pratt) is jealous of Gamora’s (Zoe Saldana) favorable impression of Thor and Drax (Dave Bautista) makes a lot of blunt comments that can only be described as the rapid development of a massive crush. Thor ultimately goes off on a mission to get a new hammer, accompanied by Rocket and Groot, and Gamora, Quill, Drax, and Mantis (Pom Klementieff) go off to get one of the Infinity Stones. This is the first rearrangement of people.
• What if Iron Man, Doctor Strange, and Spider-Man met… IN SPACE! Well. Bruce (Mark Ruffalo) gets shot out of space and down to Earth before the Asgardian ship goes boom and lands in Doctor Strange’s (Benadryl Crinklepants) house to alert him of the danger of Thanos. Then Doctor Strange goes to get Tony (Robert Downey Jr.) and they piss on each other for a while before battling some of Thanos’ minions, a battle Spider-Man (Tom Holland) eventually joins. Then Doctor Strange is a large box and Iron Man and Spider-Man are both on the same “flying donut” of a spaceship and wackiness ensues. Doctor Strange and Iron Man pretty much just piss on each other whenever they talk (and this only gets worse when they meet up with Quill et al), but at least once Spider-Man is there he makes things better.
• What is it like when some of our core heroes are in Wakanda, in awe and varyingly out of place and getting shit done! The group that ends up in Wakanda is: Steve (Chris Evans), Sam (Anthony Mackie), Natasha (Scarlett Johansson), Wanda (Elizabeth Olsen), Vision (Paul Bettany), Rhodey (Don Cheadle), and Bruce, and of course when they’re there so are T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman), Okoye (Danai Gurira), Shuri (Letitia Wright), and a newly rehabilitated Bucky (Sebastian Stan). And pretty much what happens is shit gets done. Shuri does a lot of science, there’s a giant battle, Bruce doesn’t know how to behave around T’Challa, Rhodey and Sam are best buds, Steve and Bucky are boyfriends, Wanda does cool shit… y’know. The usual. But better, because it’s in Wakanda and everything is better there.
• Ultimately, the standouts to us in this movie were Zoe Saldana, Elizabeth Olsen, and Tom Holland. Zoe Saldana got to show about three times more emotion in this film as in either Guardians film, which was cool, and even though they shoehorned in some needless Gamora/Quill romance to add to the angst or something, she got to shine as an individual and that was so welcome; Gamora’s arc deals with her relationship with Thanos (Josh Brolin) and also to a much lesser extent Nebula (Karen Gillan) and Saldana just gives it her all, performancewise. Elizabeth Olsen comes in with a slight advantage since we both love Wanda to bits and pieces (while acknowledging the flaws with the MCU’s setup of her character, but while also acknowledging that she is our girl) but regardless, there is a scene toward the end of the film that is just a solid 90 seconds of her emoting and I wanted to give her an award immediately; Wanda’s arc deals largely with her relationship with Vision, which let me just say is a lot weirder when Paul Bettany actually looks like Paul Bettany and not a purple robot, and his relationship with the Infinity Stone he carries and the disaster this obviously could create should Thanos get it, but it also gives her a lot of good moments with the team (we’ll discuss this in a minute). Tom Holland…someone told him this was a real movie and he brought it. Spider-Man has been a favorite of mine since I was sixteen and I’ve been waiting since 2009 to see a good Spider-Man again (the last one was Josh Keaton as the animated Spectacular Spider-Man, and prior to that Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield both had something just “off” about them in one way or another). Holland brings a charm and sincerity to the role that has been missing, while remembering that Peter is, deep down, kind of a sarcastic little shit. And in this movie he matches the more experienced actors in terms of performance at every turn (and in one particular case, definitely surpasses them – Holland is British, as is Curdledmilk; however, Holland’s American accent is flawless, and Crabapple’s is…not).
• My standard for this movie was how well-written characters would be when interacting, particularly those who had not previously met. Turns out Thor makes a much more agreeable companion for Rocket and Groot than the other Guardians, even though I still didn’t care about the two of them (there were a couple of throwback jokes regarding Rocket’s penchant for stealing prosthetic body parts, though, and that was sort of funny). Spider-Man is a very good boy and wanted to help all of his new friends in battle, and they were definitely his new friends even if he was afraid they were going to implant him with eggs not ten minutes prior; both times we saw this I flailed joyfully when he sprung forth to make sure Mantis didn’t fall down in a battle. As mentioned, Wanda has some really great little moments and the ones we cared about most were the ones with Natasha: they pick Wanda and Vision up and Natasha promptly scolds them for what amounts to being out past curfew, which is hilarious; there’s a bit in the final sequence that also involves Okoye that’s the most triumphant ladies-supporting-ladies thing I’ve seen in a Marvel movie in a long while (I’m purposely not spoiling the details because I flailed about them, too, in a way I hope some people can still also do).
• Another highlight of this movie (say, over Civil War) is that there are a lot more amusing things sprinkled throughout. Pretty much everything Mantis says (or does, honestly) is comedy gold, particularly if it involves her scary face. At one point when Quill meets up with the douchebag duo and their scene-saving Spider-Man, he shouts, “Where’s Gamora?” and Iron Man replies “Who’s Gamora?” and Drax, while being stepped on and nearly shot with a laser gun or something, adds, “I’ll do you one better. Why is Gamora?” and this is the funniest thing I don’t even care that is my humor. And then…
• That brings us to the villains. There’s Thanos, of course, who isn’t funny. He’s just some big asshole who looks, as Quill aptly points out, like Grimace (from McDonalds). But then there’s also the Children of Thanos, the ones who didn’t wise up like Gamora and Nebula. These fuckers are hilarious space garbage. Ebony Maw (Tom Vaughan-Lawlor) is like a weird Gothic skeleton version of the Shape of Water fishman if it in turn bred with Slenderman, and weirdly his maw is not particularly prominent, nor is it ebony. Better still is Proxima Midnight (Carrie Coon), who is just the worst. She’s the one who talks the most after Maw, and every word out of her mouth is a hilarious cliche about fighting or war or victory or something to that effect. She’s sort of insinuated to be the most powerful of Thanos’ children, at least of the bunch that appear together (Ebony Maw is usually by himself). But every time she’s onscreen she is impossible to take seriously. Also, her name is Proxima Midnight and that is objectively funny.
• SPACE

–your fangirl heroines.

Spoiler Alert Monday :: our thoughts on Black Panther

It was a weird weekend and we’re posting this now so deal with it. It can’t wait.

First of all: we are not the people whose opinions about this movie matter at all. Even if we had both hated Black Panther, that wouldn’t have mattered. Black Panther is a superhero movie with a worldwide release by a major studio directed by, written by, starring, and designed by a largely black cast and crew, about a fictional African country that has never been colonized and has the greatest technological achievements of any country in the world. That is groundbreaking. (If you’re reading this and wondering why it’s such a big deal, I really recommend seeking out black writers’ thoughts on the film.)

Of course, the movie is also just really great. If you’re tired of superhero movies about the same old hero’s journey, I think you’ll be pleased with the places this movie goes. T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) returns to his home country of Wakanda shortly after the events of Captain America: Civil War to be crowned king after the tragic death of his father, T’Chaka. He wants to be a good king, but he is faced with a choice: keep Wakanda’s secrets and remain sequestered from the rest of the world, or use their country’s resources and power to help the oppressed around the world. Things become more complicated when a newcomer appears, Erik Killmonger (Michael B. Jordan), who challenges T’Challa’s leadership

I don’t want to give too much away, but here are some non-spoilery (or the vaguest of spoilers) highlights:

• Shuri (Letitia Wright) is the smartest person in the world, and she’s a sixteen-year-old princess who loves her brother and gives him lots of shit. She is probably going to be my favorite character of 2018 and if we don’t get a movie about her I will flip a desk. She’s this weird ball of teenage girl energy and the absolute pure essence of the Afrofuturism that this movie is bringing to the forefront (check that out, it’s super interesting), from her clothes to her multitude of inventions to her attitude to her technology.
• T’Challa himself is a great character, much more dimensional than the (delightful) glimpses of him we got in Civil War as a quiet but skillful warrior trying to avenge the death of his father. His arc in this movie is a bit different from the typical superhero arc, and it’s wonderful to watch.
• Nakia (Lupita Nyong’o) fills the “love interest” role, but oh, thank goodness, there’s a brief glimpse of good het in a Marvel movie again, because she and T’Challa are great. It could be a dangerous setup, the exes who work together (goodness knows Marvel has messed that up before), but they work so well together. They’re still obviously on good terms despite the ambiguous breakup in their past; she can fight alongside him, he can confide in her, she protects him and his with all of her heart. She’s also incredible in her own right, multitalented and fearless and outspoken.
• Then there’s Okoye (Danai Gurira) and the Dora Milaje. They’re Wakanda’s elite all-lady warrior group, but that even seems like an understatement. They’re just fantastic at everything. Okoye is their general and she’s very driven by tradition and justice but also capable of snarking. (Ayo [Florence Kasumba], who had one little moment in Civil War, is still around as well, so that’s nice.)
• Also on the kickass women front is Ramonda (Angela Bassett), T’Challa’s mother and Wakanda’s queen (mother). She gets to grieve for her husband without it being treated as a weakness, exemplify what it means to behave like royalty, have a great relationship with both of her kids… she’s pretty damn awesome.
• ALSO M’BAKU (Winston Davis). I don’t want to spoil anything but he has one of the best lines in the movie and I love him.
• W’Kabi (Daniel Kaluuya) is an interesting character that I wanted to see more of. He went in a different direction than I was expecting, but Kaluuya does incredible things with his face and there’s one particular scene that is iconic.
• Erik Killmonger is a great villain, one of the best the MCU has had, and Jordan gives an incredible performance. He’s also a terrible person, but at least he’s more interesting and fun to watch than most of the villains have been.

Go see this movie as soon as you can. It’s worth it.

–your fangirl heroines.

Spoiler Alert Saturday :: our thoughts on Captain America: Civil War

First, without spoilers, I will say: the relief I felt at the end of this movie was close enough to happiness that I accepted it.  (Agents of SHIELD in particular has trained me to be used to the long game when it comes to Things happening, so having it somewhat resolved in the few consecutive hours’ worth of sitting was comforting.)

And I (drift partner) was so not the audience for a good 40-50% of this movie, so I am unable to be objective and can only really say that this movie certainly happened to me for two and a half hours.

Here is a spoiler-free list of things we can say.

1. Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) is so much more tolerable as an auxiliary fanboy than a protagonist.
2. Spider-Man (Tom Holland) made me smile a few times, but literally Tony (Robert Downey Jr.) why did you drag a child into this why why why.
3. As per not being the audience for parts of this movie (this is a statement that is in fact true of both of us) here is a list of characters that we Felt Things about a lot.
   1. Wanda (Elizabeth Olsen) with her trying so hard and her Buffy meets Shilo Wallace aesthetic and she needs lots of ice cream.
   2. Natasha (Scarlett Johansson) with her hair and her reasonably developed moral compass and she probably needs ice cream too.
   3. Sharon (Emily Van Camp) with her insistence on independence and her comfort bending the rules and I will hear no arguments against her.
   4. T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) with his character arc and his eyes and it needs to be 2018 time for Black Panther already.
   5. Sam (Anthony Mackie) with his taking no bullshit and his never backing down and good for you, buddy, I’m proud.
   6. Rhodey (Don Cheadle) with his being alive.
4. OH MY GOD WHAT WAS WITH THE LOCATION TITLE CARDS. That shit was straight out of a movie trailer or a Wes Anderson movie and this movie was neither of those things. It was distracting and enraged me every single time it happened. I’m still angry.

So. Yes.

–your fangirl heroines.