Fictional Friday :: 6 more real life faces for more Disney princesses

The term “princess” being used loosely, and to define basically any Disney heroine.  (Anyway, the ones that aren’t properly royalty are often the most badass.  Mulan.  What.)

6. Alison Brie (Snow White, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves)

Much like how I imagine Reese Witherspoon can speak to mice, I imagine Alison Brie can in fact understand birdsong and whatnot.  She’s just the cutest ever.

5. Elle Fanning (Alice, Alice in Wonderland)

We wanted an Alice who was actually close to Alice-age.  Because Mia Wasikowska was a rad grown-up Alice, but Alice isn’t grown up in the cartoon.  (Not that most of our other casting choices aren’t grown up, but Alice is younger than the others, so it works.  Okay?  Also, Elle would just be a fantastic Alice.)

4. Jennifer Hudson (Tiana, The Princess and the Frog)

She’s a good fit.  She’s triumphed over professional adversities and stuff, like Tiana.  She didn’t win American Idol, but she kept at it, and then she won an Oscar.  So.

3. Liza Lapira (Mulan, Mulan)

So technically, she’s part-Chinse, part-Filipino, part-Spanish, but I think she’s adorable, and I love her, and I think she could be a super badass.

2. Moon Bloodgood (Pocahontas, Pocahontas)

A lot of Hollywood actresses have some Native American heritage.  But a lot of the are the ones who look like Cameron Diaz, who have some, but it doesn’t count for much.  I’ve only seen Moon Bloodgood in the most recent Terminator, really, but she does have the most awesome name of all time, so that counts for something.

1. Lara Pulver (Meg, Hercules)

Meg is my favorite.  Meg is my girl.  We’d originally discussed Maggie Siff as Meg, which I thought would have been equally brilliant, but my friend said “OH!  What about the girl who’s Irene on Sherlock?”  I hadn’t yet watched this season (and I’ve only watched the first episode, so don’t spoil me, I don’t have a good excuse, but I haven’t got around to the other two yet, I’m a busy girl) so I made a mental note.  Then I watched it.  And I went holy hot damn.  Irene is also my girl.  It makes perfect sense.  (And I didn’t realize until right now that Lara Pulver also played Sookie’s fairy godmother on True Blood, so that’s irrelevant, but my mind is still a little blown.)

–your fangirl heroine.

Spoiler Alert Sunday :: my thoughts on War Horse

Welcome to I Don’t Know What To Really Say That’s Creative Or Insightful, So I’ll List Facts And Random Opinions:

• I’m already tired of that trailer for John Carter.  I just looked it up, and the cast is fairly legitimate (three cast members of Rome even without clicking the “full cast and crew” link) but it just looks painful.  Also, whenever heavily made up Lynn Collins appears, I think for a split second that she’s Moon Bloodgood from Terminator: Salvation because of the ridiculous make-up (they really don’t look that much alike, but the makeup is so absurd) and then I go “oh wait.”  And speaking of Terminator, every time anyone says “John Carter” in the trailer I think they’re saying “John Connor.”  Lynn Collins with her weird voice going “You’re John Carter from Earth” especially.  And that just throws me so hard.
• Jeremy Irvine, who played Albert, looked like a baby Anton Yelchin with a teensy tiny bit of baby lighter-haired Sean Maher in there.
• Matt Milne, who played Andrew the friend, looked like a cross between Caleb Landry Jones who played Banshee in X-Men: First Class and blond-times Evan Peters.  Sometimes.
• David Thewlis made a good d-bag here.
• The fact that Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch were the first soldiers kind of just made me get distracted imagining Loki and Sherlock Holmes attempting conversation and failing.  And then I just sat there going “Benedict Cumberbatch” over and over in an absurd British lower-class slangy accent in my head.  Yeah.
• The cinematography was very nice. The aesthetic value was high.
• It was a very sweet, very moving, very tear-inducing story.  I think part of why I’m finding it hard to say original things is that I just… I don’t know what to do with sentimental animal movies.  I never have.  I’ve never been a crier, so while everyone else is crying, I’m just sitting there going “oh, I understand why this is inspirational/touching/sad/etc.” but not actually shedding tears.  And then I feel a little awkward.  But I remind myself that at least I have good robot company.
• I’m fully aware that I spent too much of the film thinking about which actor mash-ups the actors looked like.
• And that Emily Watson is only 44 but is really good at looking older.
• This could be because, while it was a very moving story, and I understood that it was serious and touching, I have a hard time relating to characters that aren’t that developed.  Maybe it’s better in the book.  But they all seemed pretty one-dimensional.  Which, for a story like this, is okay.  You don’t need ridiculously intricate people, technically, to tell an inspirational movie about horses and wars.  But I just… I kind of need ridiculously intricate people to care on a personal level.
• It’s a good film, though.  Implausible, maybe, but a sweet little horses and wars fairytale.
• BUT I think the thing that got me crankiest was the fact that they just had to go and kill the little girl, Emilie (Celine Buckens).  I mean, she was sick, yeah.  With that mysterious vague feebleness that a lot of fictional children seem to have, and that didn’t affect her outwardly ever except for needing to take medicine that looked like absinthe.  But I’m just getting tired of “kill and/or enfeeble the little girl” syndrome.  (Something I can actually blame HBO for.)
• Much like with Mockingjay, I think I really would have only been satisfied if Albert or the horse died.  I mean… it wouldn’t have been an inspirational story then.  But I’m just a morbid weirdo.

–your fangirl heroine.