Television Tuesday :: 5 of the many different reasons for strength found in female television characters

Television women (and film women, and literature women, and theatre women, and real life women, and anything in between) can be strong in a whole variety of ways.  I’ve talked about this before.  It’s not the same as Strong Female Characters, but it’s characters who are strong and oh, look, women.  Tonight I’m exploring some reasons why characters exhibit strength.  This is by no means a comprehensive list, of course, I haven’t seen nearly close to everything there is to see.  But here are a few things off the top of my head.

5. Because of family.
Dear.  Dear god.  There are few things more tiresome than a stock Mother character, whose only purpose seems to be to blandly care for the children and her husband, cook dinner, clean house, and look pretty.  But being a mother does not by any means negate a character’s strength, and oftentimes it motivates it at least to an extent.

• Alma Garret Ellsworth (Molly Parker), the wonderfully flawed adoptive mother to darling little Sofia (Bree Seanna Wall), who I’ve discussed at length in the past.  Does she make mistakes in her life when acting as a mother?  Of course.  Does she love that little girl, despite the accidental circumstances of their becoming a family?  Of course.
• Catelyn Stark (Michelle Fairley), who… okay, yeah, I’ll own that the show hasn’t always done Catelyn right.  There are plenty of discussions of that on the internet already, so I’ll skip it, and just say: okay, but Catelyn Stark is actually pretty badass.
• Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey), who I have to bring up just because of those woe-inducing discussions about loving her children, even if Cersei and family is a much slipperier slope than that as a whole.
• Sarah Connor (Lena Headey), who I won’t say that much about because I’ve still only seen season one of this show (I know, chastise me) but who I would feel wrong not including.
• Joyce Summers (Kristine Sutherland), as long as we’re talking about moms…
• …and Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and Dawn Summers (Michelle Trachtenberg) because family strength can be a sisters/daughters thing too.  Oh, the Summers women.  Again: they had their flaws, they did, but in the end theirs was a ridiculously strong family.
• River Tam (Summer Glau), because Simon (Sean Maher) spent the entire series taking care of her, but then it was her turn.
• Priya Tsetsang (Dichen Lachman), because I’m sure that having a baby in the apocalypse isn’t easy, if it doesn’t lead to terrible death (I’m raising my eyebrows at you, Walking Dead), and knowing that said baby’s father is off living on a flash drive can’t be easy, but there she was, looking out for T (Brandon Dieter) with everything she could.
• Gemma Teller (Katey Sagal), because while she has been in a very consistent downward spiral, but family is what she’d like her guiding light to be and that counts for something.
• Tara Knowles Teller (Maggie Siff), who is mother to both of Jax’s sons and even though Abel isn’t hers by blood, he’s her son.  And if you screw with those kids, or with Jax for that matter, Tara is not going to forget it.
• Luna Garza (Janina Gavankar), who has had to actively work to get her Emma (Chloe Noelle) back before, but who loves that little girl, no matter what animal she grows to turn into.

4. Because of friends.
Since as I always say, family ain’t always blood.  I’ve discussed all of this before, basically, but I’m just going to list it out anyway.

• Pam de Beaufort (Kristin Bauer van Straten), Tara Thornton (Rutina Wesley), Nora Gainesborough (Lucy Griffiths), Jessica Hamby (Deborah Ann Woll), who are family but aren’t family and did some ass-kicking for the sake of such things to some extent (also for other reasons, listed below).  Special shout-out to Tara (because taking a bullet for someone, even if they misguidedly get you turned into a vampire after, is pretty badass; also because “and you still owe Pam”).
• Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin), who regularly kicks ass in the name of her friends (and [former] lovers too, and her brother sometimes but whatever Jason) even when it’s maybe not the best of ideas and especially when nobody else will.
• Echo (Eliza Dushku), and at this point it’s easier if I just restrict this to talking about mid-season two and onward Echo so there aren’t issues of Caroline thrown in there (other people, again, can discuss Caroline much more intelligently than I), who leads her friends into the fight to save the world, then has to deal with the fact that the world hasn’t been saved and continues to fight anyway…
• …and here I’m just going to list off Priya again and Adelle DeWitt (Olivia Williams) and Mag (Felicia Day) and whoever else, everyone involved in the Epitaphverse.  These guys.  Fighting to protect themselves and those they love and whatnot.  And while Echo is inherently a fighter, these guys are largely not.  Priya fights when she has to, but it is not her default.  Adelle is much more of a fighter-with-words.  Mag, as I’ve previously discussed, probably wasn’t Combat Girl pre-thoughtpocalypse.  Etcetera.
• All of the Scoobies.  Period.
• All of the women of Serenity.  Period.
• Trixie (Paula Malcomson), going to shoot at Hurst (Gerald McRaney) as revenge for Ellsworth (Jim Beaver) with no thought to the consequences, just to her complete rage.  Among other things.
• Also Alma, and Joanie Stubbs (Kim Dickens) and Jane Cannary (Robin Weigert) and everyone else ever on Deadwood.  Period.

3. Because of self-preservation.
Surviving can take special effort sometimes.  And I celebrate it always.

• Yet again Priya.  I’m just going to let the instances of “Belonging” speak for themselves.
• Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner), because my darling is literally the definition of this category.
•  Can I just say all of the Scoobies again?  Because all of the Scoobies, in one way or another.  Buffy persevering through countless ordeals, Willow (Alyson Hannigan) struggling her way out of a dangerous addiction at least somewhat, Anya (Emma Caulfield) learning humanity, Tara (Amber Benson) finding a voice amongst everyone, Cordelia (Charisma Carpenter) and her personal journey that I am largely unfamiliar with on Angel, and I’m just going to say Fred (Amy Acker) of Angel too even though I’ve seen literally three of her episodes yet but I know she is this kind of strong especially, Faith (Eliza Dushku) fighting to redeem herself, Dawn working to be taken seriously amongst the group, everyone.
• Tara Thornton is getting some extra credit here, too.  Damn, that woman has been through a lot, and maybe it took her being a vampire for me to actually get affectionate toward her for whatever reason, but special points given for literally trying to destroy oneself right off the bat and then learning the reasons why, even if she still isn’t forgiving Sookie for arranging it, being a vampire might actually be working for her.
• Joanie Stubbs, holy moly.  Joanie who could easily have collapsed under the weight of all that was on her shoulders, after her failed business venture particularly, but who soldiered on as best she could.
• Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke), because surviving her d-bag brother all those years and finally ending up the stronger for it is the greatest ever, and because self-preservation is also a good way to encompass the fact that I love that my Dany learns from her mistakes.
• Bennett Halverson (Summer Glau), because I can’t get through a list like this without mentioning her somewhere.  Requisite “yes, she made some questionable choices, particularly re: her torturing Caroline-Echo plan” comment, requisite “but holy crap, she was a genius and did not let anything diminish that” comment.

2. Because of injustices that need to be combated.
Injustices of all sorts.

• Joan Holloway Harris (Christina Hendricks) and Peggy Olson (Elisabeth Moss) both, in their ways, combat the injustice that is icky 1960s sexism.  And also the injustices of (in Joan’s case) d-bag husbands/lovers and (in both cases) d-bag bosses.
• Caroline Farrell, who I am mentioning here briefly to note that she was seeking to combat the injustice of animal and then human testing.  Among other causes, I’m sure.
• Echo, on the other hand, joins the abovementioned entire cast to, in one way or another, combat the injustice that is the thoughtpocalypse.
• Nora Gainesborough is getting a shout-out here, because I can’t not, and also because combating the injustice of the Vampire Authority that she had recently defected from after a moral epiphanyis pretty hardcore.
• And yet again, all of the Scoobies.  Combating the injustices of high school, college, demons, vampires, the Watcher’s Council, each other, personal struggles, interpersonal relationships, evil, and anything in between.
• And all of the women of Serenity.  Combating the injustices of the Alliance, d-bag criminals, d-bag clients, interpersonal relationships, and anything in between.
• Margaret Schroeder Thompson (Kelly Macdonald), combating the injustice of poor reproductive health education for mothers in the 1920s (among other things, but the “come talk about your vagina” line is my favorite forever).

1. Because why the hell shouldn’t they be.
This is the part where I point out how many of these listed women repeat.  Because strength is for everyone, for every reason, for anyone, for any reason.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whedon Wednesday :: not to their faces [an analysis of Anya and humanity]

Anya, Anya, Anya.  Emma Caulfield’s ridiculously blunt ex-demon wasn’t always a favorite favorite of mine.  I found her amusing, enjoyable, but I didn’t latch onto her like I do to some characters.  She definitely did grow on me, though, and even if a lot of what is notable about her is her one-liners of tactless humor, what she ultimately does is teach us in the series that anyone can have redemption and it always doesn’t have to be cheesy or romance-motivated.  And that’s cool.

I enjoyed Anya’s first appearance not because of Anya herself but because it led to what is still one of my favorite Buffy episodes, “The Wish.”  Then, with “Doppelgangland,” also one of my favorites, it could be assumed that she was just wrapping up a tiny, tiny arc, but there were still moments of what comes to be trademark Anya humor.

“Do you have any idea how boring twelfth graders are?”

“If she’s a vampire, then I’m the Creature from the Black Lagoon.”

“I’m just so tired of being around human beings and all their baggage.  I don’t care if I ever get my powers back. I think he should eat you.”

Turned into a human thanks to the loss of her source of vengeance demon power, a lot of Anya’s purpose is to offer awkward, insensitive commentary on human foibles.  She’s trying to relearn human niceties, even though a lot of them seem stupid to her; she became a demon in the 800s, so it’s been a while.  She’s older than anyone else who has considerable time in the series, including the vampires (the “Fanged Four” are circa 160s-1800s and even the Master [Mark Metcalf] can only be traced back to the 12^th century), so she’s seen a lot.  And now she’s having to cope with it on a new level, a level where she’s actually involved in it and not just watching.

Because of Anya’s attempts to fit into the world she has to be involved in now, she ends up asking Xander (Nicholas Brendon) to the prom, and though it’s a disastrous night by all standards, she finds herself interested in him.  It’s meant to be somewhat ironic, because Xander and Willow’s (Alyson Hannigan) miniature affair is what sparked her arrival in Sunnydale at all, but it leads also to an interesting point on her moral journey.

Graduation day is rolling around; they all know that the Mayor (Harry Groener) is planning an ascension, and Anya does share about what that would be like, but then she gets the hell out of town.  She doesn’t want to face it.  We think this may be the last of Anya, but it’s worth noting for comparison to later seasons.

Upon her return in season four, she and Xander soon begin dating.  It seems just to be sex at first, which Anya, being Anya, is very straightforward about, and invites openly; it then evolves.  The rest of the Scoobies don’t really like her, and sometimes they downright facepalm at her, but she’s helpful and Xander likes her, so they learn to accept her, if grudgingly.

We still just get Anya-as-purveyor-of-amusing-remarks for a while.  Anya drops more one-liners, there are more personality clashes between her and the others, and they’re all fun to witness.  Anya makes a lot of cracks about consumerism, and it’s amusing.

Then along comes 5×16, “The Body.”  It’s one of the most tragic episodes of Buffy, or considered that way: not even because of Joyce (Kristine Sutherland) but because watching everyone react to this completely natural, non-supernatural, sudden death is heartbreaking.  None of the Scoobies know what to do; they’re all struggling to cope in their own ways.  And there’s Anya, who’s been on the planet for more than a thousand years, Anya who’s killed and seen people be killed.  She’s asking inappropriate questions, making inappropriate comments, then:

“But I don’t understand. I don’t understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she’s- There’s just a body, and I don’t understand why she just can’t get back in it and not be dead anymore. It’s stupid. It’s mortal and stupid. And-and Xander’s crying and not talking, and-and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she’ll never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.”

Even having seen and been the cause of so much death, Anya doesn’t understand it now, in this context.  Anya is shocked by her own grief, basically; she doesn’t see why things have to be this way.  She’s in touch with her humanity, and not just the part of it that hates high school coursework.  It’s one of the most devastating monologues in the series, and one of the most accidentally insightful.

As things progress, Anya and Xander become engaged, one of those disastrous “it’s an apocalypse” engagements that really never end well, but there’s always the off-chance, right?  Anya is pleased by this development, though a part of her is perplexed by it; she’s spent a disproportionate amount of time wronging men who’ve wronged their women, why would this case be any different?  Yet she believes in her heart, fully, that it will be.  She’s hopeful.

And she never stops being Anya.  She’s thoroughly capable, really: she works very efficiently at the Magic Box, she helps as best she can in Scooby projects.  She’s always been someone singlemindedly devoted to her work: she was the kind of vengeance demon that was never off the job, she says in flashbacks.  Now her job is being a Scooby, working at the Magic Box, being with Xander, being human, and she tries her damnedest.

This is a good time to include this:

And then Xander has to go and be deceived by a former enemy of Anya’s on their wedding day.  Anya, who believes so completely in Xander being her ticket to happily ever after:

“I, Anya, want to marry you, Xander, because… I love you and I’ll always love you. And… before I knew you, I was like a completely different person. Not even a person really. And I had seen what love could do to people, and it was… hurt and sadness. Alone was better. And then suddenly there was you, and… you knew me. You saw me, and it was this… thing. You make me feel safe and warm. So, I get it now. I finally get love, Xander. I really do.“

But it’s the Whedonverse, so it’s not to be.  And when he breaks off the relationship, gunshy and paranoid (because of the trickery leads to a sudden fear of inadequacy) Anya turns back to the life of a vengeance demon.  She still helps out the Scoobies, she’s devoted to that task by now, but she’s also devoted to wronging men again, and she certainly does.

She recognizes Willow’s pain when Tara’s murdered, even if there isn’t much she can do but help the other Scoobies out.  She does care for them, even when she tries not to show it: especially adorable is her and Giles’ friendship, previously discussed.  And they do care for her too.  She sticks around, even not tied to Xander romantically, and does her best to help them in the fight against the First next season, devoting a lot of her time to it once her demon status is again revoked (she found she was too human to put her whole self into it).

And by the end of things, all I can say is beautiful, wonderful Anya.  Anya whose awesomeness is, again, best described by her own words:

“Well, I guess I was kinda new to being around humans before. And now I’ve seen a lot more, gotten to know people, seen what they’re capable of and I guess I just realize how amazingly… screwed up they all are. I mean, really, really screwed up in a monumental fashion…. And they have no purpose that unites them, so they just drift around, blundering through life until they die. Which they-they know is coming, yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them. They’re incapable of thinking about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other, which is clearly insane, and yet, here’s the thing. When it’s something that really matters, they fight. I mean, they’re lame morons for fighting. But they do. They never… They never quit. And so I guess I will keep fighting, too.”

Through all the demon-fighting, all of the terrible times, all of the suffering she’s experienced in her brief mortal life, she’s learned, really learned, why sometimes humans are pretty okay.  She’s saying it all in her way, her sometimes too blunt way, but she means it all so sincerely that it’s kind of wonderful.  And she does die for it; so suddenly, so upsettingly.  Emma Caulfield herself once said, “She didn’t get a big, maudlin send-off, it was very quick and to the point – very Anya in that respect.”

Anya, the ex-demon, Anya, the abrupt capitalist, Anya, the fiercely loyal: everyone on Buffy teaches us a little about humanity sometimes, but none quite as well as Anya, going through her desire and frustration and grief and joy and resignation and hope and beautiful conflict.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whedon Wednesday :: 10 life lessons you can learn from Buffy 5×13-5×22

10. Yes, Ben is Glory. (the last few episodes)
It makes for some humorous moments when everybody keeps forgetting that Glory (Clare Kramer) and Ben (Charlie Weber) are one and the same.  But really, it’s also an important life metaphor: namely, when there’s an important fact, don’t forget it.  Because forgetting it will not be good.  Also, in a place like Sunnydale, anything is possible: so if you never see two people in the same place at once, just assume they’re actually the same person, and don’t trust the nice one.

9. Don’t build sex robots. (5×15, “I Was Made to Love You,” 5×18, “Intervention”)
This is pretty straightforward.  If you’re really that desperate for a thing to love, they have toys for that, don’t they?  Toys that can’t just walk away and wreak havoc.  And really, if you build a sex robot and throw it out, you should maybe make sure there’s no way that it could reactivate.  ‘Cause that’s just gonna get messy.  Also, sex robots are just creepy.

8. If everyone already thinks you’re a creep, it’s probably best if you don’t order a sex robot that looks like a real person… who could kill you, easily.  (5×18, “Intervention”)
I mean, the Buffybot does end up being useful for non-sex reasons eventually.  She’s even kind of funny.  But everyone’s already a little weirded out by Spike’s (James Marsters) having a thing for Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar).  Most of the Scoobies don’t really trust him, because of the whole evil vampire thing.  And a lookalike sex robot is just kind of sketch, no matter what.  It’d be sketch if he got a sex robot made to look like a celebrity, for goodness’ sake; it’s worse that it’s made to look like someone he knows.  And by doing so, he’s pretty fairly well cementing that she’s not going to hop into bed with him IRL anytime soon.  (Well, not in… this lifetime.)

7. If you fight with your girlfriend and storm out, she might get brain-sucked by a hell-god, so maybe try not to storm out on people.  (5×19, “Tough Love”)
There’s an old saying about not letting the sun go down on your anger, but I’d propose that you shouldn’t let the door slam on your anger, either.  If you’re mad at people, it’s always best just to talk it out right then and there.  Letting it linger is just going to make for the awkward and, depending on the context of your universe, the dangerous.  Willow (Alyson Hannigan) and Tara (Amber Benson) unfortunately had to learn this the hard way, but we don’t have to.

6. If your sister is a physical manifestation of a mystical energy that has been retroactively inserted into everyone’s memories, just go ahead and tell her so when you find out.  Don’t let her hear from a book. (5×13, “Blood Ties”)
A lot of Dawn’s (Michelle Trachtenberg) angst throughout the series comes from the fact that nobody tells her anything.  Finding out that she’s really a magical key isn’t going to sit well no matter how she finds out, but just being straight with her about it will soften the blow a little bit.  And maybe then she won’t become such a ridiculous kleptomaniac.  And maybe she’ll stop whining.  And maybe she won’t be so self-destructive.

5. Proposing to someone just because you’re all gonna die may seem like a great idea at the time, but probably… isn’t. (5×22, “The Gift”)
Xander (Nicholas Brendon) has the best intentions, swearsies.  It seems like a great plan to propose to Anya (Emma Caulfield) when they’re pretty sure that another apocalypse is gonna kick in.  But it’s not like back in season three when Willow and Oz (Seth Green) had sex because the world was about to end.  Willow and Oz had been building up to having sex for months.  Xander and Anya hadn’t been planning an engagement.  Xander jumped into it without really thinking it through, and it winds up being a terrible plan.  Because it seems cute, they’re engaged, but they end up setting the wedding date for not even a season later.  Rushed much?  Anya’s been on the planet for thousands of years, but Xander is still young and stupid.  He doesn’t know that he’s ready for marriage.  He’s not.  It’s an impulse decision, and it’s one that should be avoided.  At all costs.

4. Necromancy is unnatural and bad.  Don’t do it.  (5×17, “Forever”)
Dawn decides that the only thing that she can do is bring Joyce (Kristine Sutherland) back from the dead.  That’s the only way things will be okay.  But really, there’s so much wrong with that.  The most important thing being that it’s hideously, terribly selfish.  (Which will be reiterated in season six, so.)  And the Joyce that would return wouldn’t be the same Joyce.  Also, those are magicks you just shouldn’t mess with.  Nope.

3. Self-sacrifice is noble, but if you have friends who can do necromancy, you probably want to tell them “hey, don’t necromance me” before you die.  Otherwise, bad things will happen. (5×22, “The Gift”)
I’d like to think that Willow wouldn’t be selfish enough to explicitly ignore a request that Buffy would make before jumping into Glory’s hell vortex.  If Buffy had thought to say, “Hey, guys, I understand that you’ll miss me, and that’s reasonable, but seriously… I’d rather not be brought back from the dead.  That would be just… bad and wrong, and didn’t we just get through telling Dawn not to do that exact thing?” the entire mess of… well, the rest of the series wouldn’t have happened.  Or someone else could have brought her back, and it’d be messy in a different way that didn’t involve Willow abusing the magicks and Buffy being mad at everyone.  Planning is a good thing to do.

2. Vampires can love well, if not wisely. (5×14, “Crush”)
It’s said many, many times that vampires can’t really love, because they don’t have souls.  The definition of a “soul” seems to vary somewhat, as it changes Angel’s (David Boreanaz) personality completely and, aside from a summer of basement crazy time, doesn’t really change Spike’s personality at all (though this could be attributed to the fact that Angel’s soul was forced on him, and Spike willingly sought his out, or something like that).  But really, I don’t think that the soulless vampires all have a problem loving.  I completely believe that Spike and Drusilla (Juliet Landau) were in love, once upon a time.  It wasn’t just a sex thing, or a “lol let’s kill some things together” thing.  It was love.  They cared a lot about each other, even if every other creature on the planet could go die in a fire or be nommed on.  Dru probably loved Angel a bit, in her own way; but this is quickly becoming an essay, so I’ll hold off for now.

1. Sometimes, the most terrifying thing isn’t a demon or a vampire.  It’s just mortality.  (5×16, “The Body”)
I watched the first four and a half seasons of Buffy in an approximately four-month span of time, at first with friends, then by the end alone.  But I’d been warned that “The Body” was going to depress me, and I just… didn’t want to deal with that by myself.  Which is why it took me a year and a half to get around to actually picking back up again, because of life getting in the way.  And it took me that long to find someone else to finish the series with (and I had to catch her up, somewhat).  And while Joyce’s death wasn’t the most upsetting in the series for me (that dubious honor would have to go to Tara, who I just loved so much) it was pretty brutal watching everyone’s reactions.  I mean, Joyce had been sick all season, we’d known it was a possibility, and for people watching in real-time without spoilers, it could have still come as a surprise somewhat, but it wasn’t a murder or anything.  No, the worst part of the episode is watching everyone come to terms with their own humanity.  They’re so used to being in life-or-death situations with supernatural and mystical creatures and all that, but they haven’t taken the time to think about the fact that they’re (mostly) still just people, and people die.  Of purely natural causes.  Oftentimes right in the middle of when you’re also dealing with hell-gods and really don’t have the energy for all the grief all at once.  Even if it’s still gonna sneak up on you.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: 5 pretty good parent-child relationships on TV

None of them are perfect.  But they all have their moments.

5. Alma Garret Ellsworth & Whitney Ellsworth and Sofia Metz (Molly Parker, Jim Beaver, and Bree Seanna Wall, Deadwood)
Except for the part where Alma was sometimes strung out on laudanum.  But, y’know, that aside.  Alma takes little Sofia in after her own husband is killed, good riddance, and Sofia’s family is killed too, and having the little darling to care for actually helps motivate her to kick the drugs that first time.  And when Alma marries Ellsworth and they’re a happy family for a little while (but not too long, of course) the relationship that Ellsworth has with Sofia is absolutely precious.

4. Gemma Teller and Jax Teller (Katey Sagal and Charlie Hunnam, Sons of Anarchy)
Sometimes Clay (Ron Perlman) is a good stepdaddy, and sometimes, well, he’s really really not.  But Gemma is an amazing Momma Bear of a woman.  She’s looking out for Jax, she’s there to take care of Jax’s son when he’s not all kidnapped in Ireland, she’s giving damn good advice and handling her business and being generally epic.  And Jax is usually a pretty loving son.  Actually, Gemma’ s sort of the stand-in mom for the whole club, which just proves how damn good at being awesome she is.

3. Joyce Summers and Buffy & Dawn Summers (Kristine Sutherland, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Michelle Trachtenberg, Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Joyce isn’t a perfect mom.  She’s got those moments where you just want to go “GORRAMIT JOYCE.  YOUR DAUGHTER NEEDS TO GO SAVE THE WORLD, AGAIN, SHE DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR CURFEWS.”  Also those moments where you just want to go “I know you remember Dawnie being there forever, but she’s brand new, stop taking her side aughhh.”  But usually, the relationship she’s got with her daughters is pretty solid.  They can’t talk about everything, but they can talk about a lot of things.  She grew into being chill with the vampire slayage.  And her daughters definitely love her, which means she’s doing something right.

2. Richard Castle and Alexis Castle (Nathan Fillion and Molly C. Quinn, Castle)
I’ve only seen the first season.  But watching an episode thereof tonight was my inspiration for this list.  They’ve got the parent-child/buddy thing down.  I mean, laser tag, how cool is that?  They can talk about pretty much everything, and Alexis’ way of giving helpful advice is sort of precious.  I feel like they’d be the kind of family I’d want to hang around on a semi-regular basis, like if I went to school with Alexis I’d want to have study groups over at her house ’cause it would be friendly and not stressful.

1. Lorelai Gilmore and Rory Gilmore (Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel, Gilmore Girls)
Psh, as if it could be anyone but.  Lorelai and Rory had some rocky times (that stretch of RORY WHO THE HELL ABDUCTED YOUR BODY time around season six for example) but they eventually got through it.  They love each other.  They care about each other.  They’re best friends, and they treat each other like best friends.  And that, that is awesome.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whedon Wednesday :: 10 life lessons you can learn from Buffy 2×13-2×22

10. Steroids are bad.  Coaches who are pro-steroids are even worse. (2×20, “Go Fish”)
Really.  What’s good about using so many fish steroids that your swim team turns into fish demon things?  Nothing, that’s what.  It will be your undoing, and it’s theirs too, because a fish can’t get into college.  So even though they may go live happily in the ocean, they’re, y’know, fish people.

9. Nothing good comes of love spells.  Ever. (2×16, “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered”)
Love spells inevitably go awry.  You may feel like it’s a great idea to cast a spell on your person of interest, but it’s just not.  The spell will screw up and wackiness will ensue, and it’ll probably be the uncomfortable kind of wackiness that makes everyone crazy and your friends feel weird around you for the next however long.  And honestly, Cordelia (Charisma Carpenter) isn’t worth it.  At least in high school, she’s kind of a bitch.

8. When you live in a house or underground lair with two other people, one of whom you have previously carried on sexual relations with and who is in turn carrying on said relations with the third person, flirting with your former… sex buddy… probably isn’t that wise of an idea, even if it seems hilarious at the time.  ‘Cause that third person is just gonna track down someone who wants to kill you and make a deal to arrange that.  (kinda throughout)
This is pretty straightforward.  But I think we can learn much from the Angelus (David Boreanaz) and Drusilla (Juliet Landau) and Spike (James Marsters) love triangle.  A lot of what not to do.  For that matter, if you’re the desired one, if you’re in Dru’s shoes, it’s probably best not to encourage the flirtation, either.  Though Dru’s sort of too crazy to think that one through, so I’ll give her a pass, mostly.

7. Yeah, if people get mysteriously brutally murdered a lot in your town, it’s okay not to be surprised to find out that it’s vampires. (2×13, “Surprise”)

Thank you, Oz (Seth Green), for having a perfectly reasonable reaction to vampires.  I mean, it’s okay to be scared.  But honestly, if you’ve grown up in a town like Sunnydale, expecting something weird to be happening is sensible.

6. If you’re dating a vampire cursed to only lose their soul again when they’ve experienced a moment of “true happiness,” learn what the parameters of that are. (2×13, “Surprise”/2×13, “Innocence”)
I’m not gonna blame Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) for not having known.  But imagine how much better it would have been if she had known.  And yeah, Jenny (Robia LaMorte) could have elucidated further on the subject.  Or… y’know, you could use your big girl brain and figure out that love + orgasm = happiness.  But it’s totally reasonable not to have thought through.  Just kinda one of those foresight things.

5. But you can totally date werewolves.  That’s chill. (2×15, “Phases”)
Werewolves are just nice people most of the month.  It’s only that pesky full moon that makes badness ensue, but if you’re as intelligent about it as Oz, and you have a support system, it’s dealt with just fine.  So Willow (Alyson Hannigan)’s decision that yeah, dating Oz would be okay was the right one.  Definitely.  Not dating a werewolf would be like not dating… some other thing that’s only bad very occasionally and can more or less keep the bad from being too bad.  Especially when they’re as adorable as Oz is.  (/fangirl.)

4. If you’re a vampire slayer, you should try to be up front about it with your mom as soon as possible and not when there’s imminent disaster at hand. (2×22, “Becoming, Part 2”)
Again, a foresight issue.  ‘Cause I’m not gonna blame Buffy for not having had the talk with Joyce (Kristine Sutherland) earlier.  But… well, on the eve of the world’s being sucked into hell isn’t the most convenient time for the “oh by the way I kill demons and save the world all the time, ha ha” talk. 

3. And if your daughter is a vampire slayer, you as a parent should try to be accepting and not flip out and kick her out of the house. (2×22, “Becoming, Part 2”)
But even though it’s not convenient, Joyce’s reaction… was kinda crummy.  I usually love Joyce, but that was just all sorts of not cool.  Your daughter is saving the world.  That’s more important than… well, anything else.  If she doesn’t save the world, your anything else won’t exist, so.  Understand the burden she carries.  Don’t just act like it’s teenage rebellion.  It’s important, okay?

2. If you fall in love, you CAN and WILL be brutally murdered or experience the brutal murder of your partner. (2×17, “Passion”)
This is the episode that made Joss’s reputation in that way, his reputation for being brilliant and sadistic and killing off anyone without warning.  Poor Jenny’s only crimes were being descended from some gypsy folk and loving Giles (Anthony Stewart Head).  And a less daring show would have probably let her live, but because of that sadism Joss could not.  No, it would hurt Giles too much, it had to be done.  And not just “I’mma snap your neck,” either.  “I’mma snap your neck, then arrange your corpse in your lover’s bed with rose petals like the SICK FREAK I am.”  A lot of shows say people are sick freaks, but they don’t get to show it off properly.  This shows it off, very much.

1. Hell dimensions may sound fun, but they aren’t.  This world is actually pretty okay.  (2×22, “Becoming, Part 2”)
It’s interesting that Spike had such an aversion to destroying the world.  His points were pretty legitimate, and he was clearly bent up about Angelus being all glompy on Dru, but — he makes a very valid case.  Yeah, there are some days when we may all want the world to go to hell, but that would kind of suck.  As crummy as this world can be at times, there are things about it that are kind of neat and worth holding onto.

–your fangirl heroine.