Spoiler Alert Sunday :: my thoughts on Frozen

I adore Kristen Bell, I adore Idina Menzel, I adore Jonathan Groff, I adore Alan Tudyk (even though none of us realized it was him till the credits rolled).  That helps a lot.

It wasn’t a bad movie.  It was a very generic movie with largely quite generic songs and a pretty generic, predictable plot, but it was cute, I guess, and also sisters, and that’s something.  There was a lot of uproar in my circles before the movie came out about all of the outrageous behind-the-scenes sexism, and that’s not fun or good, no.  But it made me smile a few times, usually for silly reasons, and it was all right.  Do better next time, y’all, but it wasn’t awful.

A few things, more specifically:

• So their parents died, and three years later there was a coronation because Elsa had come of age.  (What constitutes “of age” in Arendell?  Because by the time that happened, Anna looked like she was what usually counts as “of age,” even.)  Who was ruling the kingdom for those three years?  I assume there was some sort of regent, but who, and why couldn’t Anna have just left the kingdom in their care when she ran off to find Elsa, since the kingdom had theoretically been in their care for three years previously?
• Props to them for pronouncing Anna the way I like, though.
• I think that I just started using “Warlow” as a verb, because yeah.  Hans totally Warlowed Anna.
• Props also for at least subverting the “true love’s kiss” thing.  Because sister love is totally legitimate too!  That’s good.
• And wow, though, I mean it wasn’t the greatest film but it sure was pretty.  Elsa’s ice palace was freaking gorgeous.
• Mostly, hell yes Idina Menzel.  If nothing else, I hope this movie will inspire more little girls to go out and find, like, Wicked, and then eventually the rest of her work.  So that’s something, at least.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: top 11 reasons Glee doesn’t suck (in my opinion)

Now, even if Glee didn’t star two Broadway people I’m inordinately fond of (I’ve been on the Matthew Morrison train since 2005, when I saw him in The Light in the Piazza and fell in love) I’d probably have started in on watching it.  I am that kind of person.  I am fully aware of how utterly ridiculous it can be at times, but at the same time I think it’s doing things that other network shows wouldn’t necessarily do, and as such bringing things (as serious as gay teenager dynamics and as light-hearted as the occasional showtune) to an audience that might not otherwise get exposed to them as much.

Having the mid-season break makes sense for networky reasons, but it really does build the anticipation up.  And by this point in the break, where it’s almost over, I really do start to feel a sense of withdrawal.  I need my weekly dose of smartly arranged pop songs and fluff and the romantic drama I’ve never actually experienced in real life.  So, in the spirit of this, and in anticipation for Sunday’s ridiculous-as-all-get-out Super Bowl episode, I present this list.  As usual, I couldn’t narrow it down.

11. Jane Lynch as Sue Sylvester.
This one is all but obvious, given all the awards this woman has won.  But I’ve always been fond of her, so seeing her be famous all of a sudden is sort of awesome.  Even though you may hate Sue Sylvester, she’s the single funniest thing on Glee and her one-liners are priceless.  The occasional times we see her relationship with her sister (and, though it’s not so much the case now, the beginning of her relationship with Becky) are redeeming.  But not too redeeming, that wouldn’t be fun.

10. Asian love.

I was into Tina and Artie, don’t get me wrong.  I sort of adore Artie a little, but the business with Tina and Mike just got too cute for words.  (And if Artie really was blowing Tina off for video games, I say she made the right choice.  That isn’t cool.)  Tina and Mike may have their ups and downs, but they aren’t too annoyingly in-your-face about it (cough, cough, Finn and Rachel?  Sweet Jesus) and they come out of it all right.  I like that Mike is into Tina for who she is, and I like that they complement each other.  And I loved their cover of “Sing!” from Chorus Line.  Kind of awesome.

9. Actually, kind of just Tina in general.
I have loved Tina since the very beginning.  Maybe it just started with my inability to allow myself to associate with the other female roles.  I couldn’t allow myself to associate mentally with Rachel (though I do love me some Lea Michele) and Quinn was at first too perfect, then her problems were just so far from anything I’d ever experience ever; Mercedes was too sassy for me, Emma too neat-freaky, Terri too plain old freaky, Brittany too ditzy and Santana too bitchy.  And I am incapable of watching something and not putting myself with at least one person, I’m not entirely sure why but it’s always been that way.  So, sure, it started as a default thing, and a little bit of an “awesome, Jenna Ushkowitz was in Spring Awakening and I totally love the track of her as Ilse I found on YouTube” thing.  Then it grew into an “aw, I sort of get being that awkward one in the corner that isn’t really the star of anything ever” thing.  Then it grew into a “holy crap, I love the way you dress” thing (seriously.  Her Gothic cheerleader outfit was sort of adorable, I do not even care what Artie thought of it, and that burgundy velvet coat she was sporting in the last song in the same episode was absolutely amazing).  She’s just precious and underrated and I feel strangely proud of how she’s grown as a character.

8. Heather Morris as Brittany S. Pierce.

So I didn’t think much of Brittany at first.  Then she danced a bit.  Then she started dropping one-liners.  Then the one-liners started making me just about roll on the floor laughing.  Then they revealed she and Santana were totally friends with benefits.  Then she danced some more.  Then she and Artie started dating and I feel like they go better together than Artie and Tina did in a strange way (they’re what the other needs, instead of what the other theoretically wants, I guess?).  Then the Rocky Horror episode rolled around and she was Columbia.  (For whatever reason, I’ve always had a strange fondness for Columbia, and when I found out they were doing a Rocky Horror episode and cast it in my head, she was easily my choice.  It’s sort of perfect.)  I don’t know.  Where once she was just good comedic relief, she’s now spilling comedic relief while being what I sort of think of as the Glee version of a whore with a heart of gold.  She may be a ridiculous skank at times.  But, darn it, she’s just adorable.

7. The occasional showtune.
Now, I don’t listen to pop music much, so most of the songs they cover on Glee are, if not entirely new, then at least somewhat new to me.  I can safely say that I would not know a sort of disgusting amount of the songs as well were it not for Glee, and I thank them similarly for giving me a version of the song that I can listen to without feeling guilty (“Keep Holding On” anyone?  I remember when I actually listened to Avril Lavigne seriously.  And, aw, their cover of that song is amazing.  “Bad Romance” too, because I love that all the girls get to tear that one up so fiercely).  But my favorite of all time is when they bust out a showtune.  I’m not really talking when Rachel does a theater ballad, although I love Lea doing theater ballads, but the moments, like Tina and Mike’s aforementioned “Sing!” or the completely nonsensical Will-sick-and-hallucinating “Make ‘Em Laugh” or the apparent Rachel/Mercedes “Take Me or Leave Me” that’s been announced as coming up soon.  Because, really, c’est fantastique.

6. Chris Colfer as Kurt Hummel.

Enough said.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.  Guest stars of awesome.
Darren Criss as Blaine
He’s Harry Potter!  He did “Teenage Dream” better than Katy Perry.  He actually made me listen to “Hey Soul Sister” even though I hate that song deeply.  He is so completely amazing with Kurt.  (They just need to happen already.)  What’s not to love?
Kristin Chenoweth as April Rhodes
Even though I sort of hate April, I love how amazingly Kristin plays her.  And excuses for Kristin to bust out belting random anythings are always good, too.
Idina Menzel as Shelby Corcoran
I love Idina so so so much.  I’m pretty sure the Glee people saw that internet people were saying “OMG IDINA SHOULD BE LEA’S BIRTH MOM” and decided to make it happen, and I’m happy that they did.  Treating the whole world to Idina/Lea duets on both “I Dreamed a Dream” and, strangely, “Poker Face” was a brilliant move.  And she managed to do the whole plotline without getting too painfully sappy, so I commend her on that.
Jonathan Groff as Jesse St. James
I could caps lock everything I have to say about Jonathan Groff because holy crap do I love that man.  I do.  He is honestly one of the sweetest actors I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting at the stage door, and he’s sort of an awesome performer, too.  My single favorite thing about Jesse was the Jesse/Rachel botched non-sex scene, because it was amazingly awkward.  That, and my mom and I spent the entire scene pointing out moments that could have been (probably weren’t, but could have) Spring references.
Neil Patrick Harris as Bryan Ryan
IN AN EPISODE DIRECTED BY THE LORD MY POP-CULTURAL GOD JOSS WHEDON, NO LESS.  It was a tiny bit of a goofy nonsequitor of an episode, but the opportunity for Neil Patrick Harris and Matthew Morrison to epically duet on an Aerosmith song is pretty much the definition of awesome.

–your fangirl heroine.

Fictional Friday :: Top 11 fictional men I am smitten with

Canon-sorted, and yes.  I realize this officially makes me a superdork, but I have an easier time admitting attraction to fictional men, I’m pretty sure.  This is not me being desperate.  This is also not a call-out for men who think they’re like any of these things to pop out of the woodwork at me.  This is just me admitting what everyone thinks about, yet most people don’t necessarily blog about.  And that is because I am not ashamed.  Again, I couldn’t narrow it to just ten, but really, the grouping is at fault for that.

11. Jax Teller (Charlie Hunnam, Sons of Anarchy)
And someone so isn’t my usual type.  I have no idea why, but then again maybe I do.  He’s a badass, he’s loyal, and he does pull-ups without his shirt on a LOT.  Charlie Hunnam also has an amazing real life accent, but that’s neither here nor there.  Jax is the kind of guy who you know has your back, the sort who would kill for the people he loves (and has) and while I don’t intend on being in life or death situations ever, it’s still sort of nice to know.

10. Mark Cohen (kind of always, but mostly by Adam Kantor in the closing cast of Rent)
Although I do love me some Anthony Rapp, Adam Kantor is… well, for shallow reasons, closer to my age.  I don’t know, I sort of just love Mark in theory, but I guess he’s the face I put to “my” Mark now.  I just want to hug Mark every time I see, or listen to, or think about Rent.  He’s a sweetheart, and he deserves love too, dammit.  And aw, glasses.  Chunky yet non-hipster glasses.  (I guess they could be hipster, but he doesn’t wear them that way.)

9/8/7. Hoban “Wash” Washburne, Malcolm Reynolds, Simon Tam (Alan Tudyk, Nathan Fillion, Sean Maher, Firefly)
Yeeeahhh.  I realize I just listed everyone that isn’t the shepherd or Jayne.  BUT I CANNOT HELP MYSELF, OKAY?  I know that obviously Mal is the most manly, virile, and take-charge of the bunch, and mm, I do like his tight pants and suspenders, because I am shameless that way.  I’m not particularly sexually attracted to Wash, but he’s funny and charming and he likes dinosaurs and that has to count for something.  And maybe, maybe it’s just my inner Kaylee talking?  But Simon, awkward though he can be, well, I still have a soft spot for him.  For those moments when he isn’t a boob, and those moments when he has his shirt off, and those moments when he’s saving lives, and if someone is that devoted to someone, it means that even though it make take forever and a day to be comfortable expressing it, they could be that devoted to you, too.  I don’t know, I can’t really make up my mind which of them wins out entirely.  I do have to share Mal with a couple of others, and Wash with my mom, though, so hey, I guess that means Simon by default?  Which I am completely all right with, really.

6/5. Moritz Stiefel, Melchior Gabor (John Gallagher Jr., Jonathan Groff, Spring Awakening)
Yeah yeah.  Fangirl it up.  But, well, that whole soft spot for the awkward ones, it continues to be true.  And AUGH MORITZ, my tragic heartbreak love.  I think it’s sweet the way his hair sticks up and his socks are always falling down uneven.  And, uhm.  Melchior?  Well, he is such a radical.  I would also like to think that being aware of, you know, what sex is would prevent the awkward sexyquasirapeytime.  I like a man who thinks for himself, though.

4. Seth Bullock (Timothy Olyphant, Deadwood)
SWEET LORD.  This man is the one who required me to create a secondary category of attraction: a category affectionately known as the Timothy Olyphant category, the tall-dark-handsome-but-not-boring ones.  (Cause tall-dark-handsome alone isn’t enough to do it for me.  Some fictional men rely strictly on that, and they’re exceptionally dull.)  And, shallowly: that man can wear a damn pair of suspenders and an 1800s striped suit.  But, well, he’s got many redeeming qualities personalitywise too.  He’s loyal, and he’s honorable, and noble, and, yeah, like many of the others he is a badass.

3. Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera, Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World)
Even if he is a wannabe ladies’ man jerky jerk sometimes, I can’t help myself.  I’m all kinds of okay with his awkward and cute.  Especially when it balances out with a sudden take-charge, I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna stop being such a slacker attitude.  Especially when he pulls flaming video game swords out of his chest.  Just… all kinds of I’m okay with that, flaws and all.

2. Topher Brink (Fran Kranz, Dollhouse)
I’m pretty sure he’s almost perfect for me.  I mean, were he real and all.  But, gee whiz.  He’s smart, he rambles sometimes, he’s a total geek and unashamed of this fact, he wears sweatervests sometimes, oh yeah he’s a genius and all yet he’s totally in touch with pop-culture wackiness, he makes up words.  Despite the occasional amorality bouts, he has a heart in there, and sweet lord when it gets to the Epitaph!verse and he’s all crazy and damaged and whatnot, again with the wanting to give hugs.

(Funny story, pertaining to actors of these fictional men: the film Bickford Schmeckler’s Cool Ideas stars Patrick Fugit, which is why I first watched it, but upon realizing that Fran Kranz was also in it, I rewatched it.  And there’s a bit where they’re sitting on a bed talking about life.  And honestly?  I’m pretty positive I’d like to be right there on that bed between them.  Not even doing anything.  Just being sweet and talking, even.)

1. William Miller (Patrick Fugit, Almost Famous)
If Topher is almost perfect for me, William Miller is perfect for me.  He represents one of the only things that was true about me in the eighth grade that still holds true, maybe even more so.  He is passionate but not super-freaky about it.  He’s a writer.  He loves people deeply when he loves them.  He’s socially awkward at times.  He is willing to do just about anything for people he does love.  He has amazing taste in music.  He cares about his family, even if awkwardly at times.  He dresses adorably, and he too is a baby in his class.  I UNDERSTAND THAT SO MUCH.  I understand everything so much.  I’ve always, always been in love with him.  Before I had these feelings about anyone else.  Before there was real life infatuation there was William Miller.  It’s just truth.

–your fangirl heroine.