I adore Kristen Bell, I adore Idina Menzel, I adore Jonathan Groff, I adore Alan Tudyk (even though none of us realized it was him till the credits rolled). That helps a lot.
It wasn’t a bad movie. It was a very generic movie with largely quite generic songs and a pretty generic, predictable plot, but it was cute, I guess, and also sisters, and that’s something. There was a lot of uproar in my circles before the movie came out about all of the outrageous behind-the-scenes sexism, and that’s not fun or good, no. But it made me smile a few times, usually for silly reasons, and it was all right. Do better next time, y’all, but it wasn’t awful.
A few things, more specifically:
So their parents died, and three years later there was a coronation because Elsa had come of age. (What constitutes “of age” in Arendell? Because by the time that happened, Anna looked like she was what usually counts as “of age,” even.) Who was ruling the kingdom for those three years? I assume there was some sort of regent, but who, and why couldn’t Anna have just left the kingdom in their care when she ran off to find Elsa, since the kingdom had theoretically been in their care for three years previously?
Props to them for pronouncing Anna the way I like, though.
I think that I just started using “Warlow” as a verb, because yeah. Hans totally Warlowed Anna.
Props also for at least subverting the “true love’s kiss” thing. Because sister love is totally legitimate too! That’s good.
And wow, though, I mean it wasn’t the greatest film but it sure was pretty. Elsa’s ice palace was freaking gorgeous.
Mostly, hell yes Idina Menzel. If nothing else, I hope this movie will inspire more little girls to go out and find, like, Wicked, and then eventually the rest of her work. So that’s something, at least.
Which is to say, looking at the yearly box office 100, how many films were directed by or written by women (scripts partially written by women marked with a *)? Starring women as the main character(s) or at least one of the main characters of equal standing (marked with a *)?
Written The Heat (Katie Dippold) Frozen (Jennifer Lee*) Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 (Erica Rivanoja*) Olympus Has Fallen (Katrin Benedikt*) Mama (Barbara Muschietti*) Safe Haven (Dana Stevens*) Texas Chainsaw 3D (Debra Sullivan, Kirsten Elms*) The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (Jessica Postigo*)
StarringCatching Fire (Jennifer Lawrence) Gravity (Sandra Bullock) The Heat (Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy) Frozen (Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel) The Conjuring (Vera Farmiga*) Identity Thief (Melissa McCarthy*) Pacific Rim (Rinko Kikuchi*) Insidious Chapter 2 (Rose Byrne*) Mama (Jessica Chastain*) Safe Haven (Julianne Hough*) Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (Gemma Arterton*) Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor (I can’t quite tell who the star is meant to be, based on the different websites I’m looking at, but it seems to be either Vanessa Williams or Jurnee Smollett-Bell, maybe?) The Call (Halle Berry) Carrie (Chloe Grace Moretz) Texas Chainsaw 3D (Alexandra Daddario) Blue Jasmine (Cate Blanchett) Side Effects (Rooney Mara*) The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (Lily Collins) The Host (Saoirse Ronan) Beautiful Creatures (Alice Englert*) Admission (Tina Fey)
2% of the top-grossing films of 2013 were (partially) directed by women. 1% was directed by a woman.
8% of the top-grossing films of 2013 were (partially) written by women. 1% was written by a woman.
20% of of the top-grossing films of 2013 were (partially) starring women by my estimations. 12% were starring women. 2% had multiple female leads.
5% of the films starring women were action films. 4% were based on young adult novels. 6% were horror films. 2% were comedies.
Well, my Raver Rainbow had a skirt and not pants, and knee socks (a long skirt, though) and no visor, but since I did it out of my own head and just now found this one while Googling the concept, I’d say that’s fair.
9. Well, the dress was a la Velma Kelly but… not? (as played by Catherine Zeta-Jones in Chicago)
I wasn’t actually being Velma, as I’ve never been that sassy, but I had a dress similar to it for a Chicago-themed birthday party. Very very short. But it came in handy when we did a dance to the overture in my school’s Broadway revue that year. And I still have it in my costume box.
8. Polexia Aphrodisia (as played by Anna Paquin in Almost Famous) Sadly not complete with a William Miller of my own, but. My mom made the dress for me (we altered a pattern). We went vintaging for the perfect hat, then right when “Tiny Dancer” came on the radio we spotted it. (We had to dye it pink, but.) We got the sunglasses online (and I almost cried when they broke). It was perfection. And I still have the dress in my costume box.
7. Maureen Johnson (as played by Idina Menzel in Rent) Though my catsuit was styled after the one in the stage show, not a leather-vinyl-I-don’t-know onesie. Mine had a vest and arm warmers and pants and the most epic cheap-ass pleather boots that have ever existed. Vinyl and pleather and ears and I waved my hair. The chips were not included. And I still have the whole thing in my costume box.
6. Kate (as played also by Idina Menzel in The Wild Party) Easily the most obscure costume on here, and that’s saying something. None of these are costumes that could be appreciated by the masses. But here’s one, another flapper dress, that’s based (we modified a pattern again) on a dress worn by Idina in an obscure off-Broadway musical from 1999 that’s based on an obscure poem from the 1920s. Kate was my favorite because she was Idina, and she was a “semi-reformed hooker” (I do love me some hookers). And I still have the dress in my costume box.
5. Ilse Neumann (as played by Lauren Pritchard in Spring Awakening) This one is worth telling the story of, because my friends and I arranged it so we had… half the cast. All the girls except for Thea, my parents were the adults, and a Melchior and a Moritz. And we took so many pictures it was unreal. And then I Photoshopped them all to hell. I had the green Ilse dress, too; we worked it. One of my friends then won the official Spring Awakening costume contest that year, too, so the entire cast got to see our scrapbook of dorky-ass in-my-living-room pictures. Apparently it was impressive. And I still have both outfits in my costume box.
4. Dr. Dakota Block (as played by Marley Shelton in Grindhouse) The shirt was just something I found at Forever 21 (just the tank top, though). The lab coat I bought at school, then hand-embroidered her name on. The skirt I bought at a vintage store, then cut a slit up and re-hemmed. The syringes? Plastic drugstore ones that I then hand-painted. The eye makeup? Water-nonproof mascara and eyeliner that I then bought a spray bottle to water-streak. And I still have it all in my costume box.
3. Blind Mag (as played by Sarah Brightman in Repo! The Genetic Opera) (Also, can we just take a moment to appreciate what a freakin’ hot 50 year old she is? Seriously?) This one was fun. This was my first experience with proper corsetry, and well worth it. My mom sewed the feathers onto said corset by hand, then helped me make a tulle bustle and a little skirt (’cause I wasn’t about to walk around in leather underwear). I found the boots and the fake eyelashes at Lucy In Disguise, Austin’s greatest costume shop and one of my favorite things in South Congress. And I still have it all (yes, even the eyelashes) in my costume box.
2. Drusilla (as played by Juliet Landau in Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
I just conveniently already happened to have a red-flowered corset-but-not top laying around, so that was easy. The skirt and shoes I used were black and not burgundy, I admit, but I had to work with what I could find. (And the skirt was cheap, so it worked out.) The burgundy velvet coat was the single luckiest vintage find ever (also cheap). The necklace and my Miss Edith were Goodwill finds. Actually, the skirt was, too. And the fingernails, well, I just worked that up myself (it is hard to give oneself a French manicure, but worth it). And I still have it all in my costume box (well, the top and the coat are in my closet hanging ’cause they’re worth using in real life, and Miss Edith is sitting on my dresser next to my lava lamp and in front of my Dollhouse comic poster, but hey).
1. Kaylee Frye (as played by Jewel Staite in Firefly and Serenity) This is no secret, kids. Considering it was my first foray into “cosplay” and you’ve seen the picture. But, I will say (as I do every time I have subsequently watched “Objects in Space”) we did a damn good job. So the pants were just pants and the teddy bear patch was a teensy bit small and I was wearing combat boots like she does every other time ever. We still did an amazing job hand-applique-ing the lace and stuff onto the shirt (and hand-dyeing the lace). And I still have it all in my costume box/closet. And I intend to wear the teddy bear pants when next I’m on an airplane in a couple of weeks. And I intend to bust it all out again whenever I rutting well please.
Now, even if Glee didn’t star two Broadway people I’m inordinately fond of (I’ve been on the Matthew Morrison train since 2005, when I saw him in The Light in the Piazza and fell in love) I’d probably have started in on watching it. I am that kind of person. I am fully aware of how utterly ridiculous it can be at times, but at the same time I think it’s doing things that other network shows wouldn’t necessarily do, and as such bringing things (as serious as gay teenager dynamics and as light-hearted as the occasional showtune) to an audience that might not otherwise get exposed to them as much.
Having the mid-season break makes sense for networky reasons, but it really does build the anticipation up. And by this point in the break, where it’s almost over, I really do start to feel a sense of withdrawal. I need my weekly dose of smartly arranged pop songs and fluff and the romantic drama I’ve never actually experienced in real life. So, in the spirit of this, and in anticipation for Sunday’s ridiculous-as-all-get-out Super Bowl episode, I present this list. As usual, I couldn’t narrow it down.
11. Jane Lynch as Sue Sylvester. This one is all but obvious, given all the awards this woman has won. But I’ve always been fond of her, so seeing her be famous all of a sudden is sort of awesome. Even though you may hate Sue Sylvester, she’s the single funniest thing on Glee and her one-liners are priceless. The occasional times we see her relationship with her sister (and, though it’s not so much the case now, the beginning of her relationship with Becky) are redeeming. But not too redeeming, that wouldn’t be fun.
10. Asian love.
I was into Tina and Artie, don’t get me wrong. I sort of adore Artie a little, but the business with Tina and Mike just got too cute for words. (And if Artie really was blowing Tina off for video games, I say she made the right choice. That isn’t cool.) Tina and Mike may have their ups and downs, but they aren’t too annoyingly in-your-face about it (cough, cough, Finn and Rachel? Sweet Jesus) and they come out of it all right. I like that Mike is into Tina for who she is, and I like that they complement each other. And I loved their cover of “Sing!” from Chorus Line. Kind of awesome.
9. Actually, kind of just Tina in general. I have loved Tina since the very beginning. Maybe it just started with my inability to allow myself to associate with the other female roles. I couldn’t allow myself to associate mentally with Rachel (though I do love me some Lea Michele) and Quinn was at first too perfect, then her problems were just so far from anything I’d ever experience ever; Mercedes was too sassy for me, Emma too neat-freaky, Terri too plain old freaky, Brittany too ditzy and Santana too bitchy. And I am incapable of watching something and not putting myself with at least one person, I’m not entirely sure why but it’s always been that way. So, sure, it started as a default thing, and a little bit of an “awesome, Jenna Ushkowitz was in Spring Awakening and I totally love the track of her as Ilse I found on YouTube” thing. Then it grew into an “aw, I sort of get being that awkward one in the corner that isn’t really the star of anything ever” thing. Then it grew into a “holy crap, I love the way you dress” thing (seriously. Her Gothic cheerleader outfit was sort of adorable, I do not even care what Artie thought of it, and that burgundy velvet coat she was sporting in the last song in the same episode was absolutely amazing). She’s just precious and underrated and I feel strangely proud of how she’s grown as a character.
8. Heather Morris as Brittany S. Pierce.
So I didn’t think much of Brittany at first. Then she danced a bit. Then she started dropping one-liners. Then the one-liners started making me just about roll on the floor laughing. Then they revealed she and Santana were totally friends with benefits. Then she danced some more. Then she and Artie started dating and I feel like they go better together than Artie and Tina did in a strange way (they’re what the other needs, instead of what the other theoretically wants, I guess?). Then the Rocky Horror episode rolled around and she was Columbia. (For whatever reason, I’ve always had a strange fondness for Columbia, and when I found out they were doing a Rocky Horror episode and cast it in my head, she was easily my choice. It’s sort of perfect.) I don’t know. Where once she was just good comedic relief, she’s now spilling comedic relief while being what I sort of think of as the Glee version of a whore with a heart of gold. She may be a ridiculous skank at times. But, darn it, she’s just adorable.
7. The occasional showtune. Now, I don’t listen to pop music much, so most of the songs they cover on Glee are, if not entirely new, then at least somewhat new to me. I can safely say that I would not know a sort of disgusting amount of the songs as well were it not for Glee, and I thank them similarly for giving me a version of the song that I can listen to without feeling guilty (“Keep Holding On” anyone? I remember when I actually listened to Avril Lavigne seriously. And, aw, their cover of that song is amazing. “Bad Romance” too, because I love that all the girls get to tear that one up so fiercely). But my favorite of all time is when they bust out a showtune. I’m not really talking when Rachel does a theater ballad, although I love Lea doing theater ballads, but the moments, like Tina and Mike’s aforementioned “Sing!” or the completely nonsensical Will-sick-and-hallucinating “Make ‘Em Laugh” or the apparent Rachel/Mercedes “Take Me or Leave Me” that’s been announced as coming up soon. Because, really, c’est fantastique.
6. Chris Colfer as Kurt Hummel.
Enough said.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Guest stars of awesome.
Darren Criss as Blaine He’s Harry Potter! He did “Teenage Dream” better than Katy Perry. He actually made me listen to “Hey Soul Sister” even though I hate that song deeply. He is so completely amazing with Kurt. (They just need to happen already.) What’s not to love? Kristin Chenoweth as April Rhodes Even though I sort of hate April, I love how amazingly Kristin plays her. And excuses for Kristin to bust out belting random anythings are always good, too. Idina Menzel as Shelby Corcoran I love Idina so so so much. I’m pretty sure the Glee people saw that internet people were saying “OMG IDINA SHOULD BE LEA’S BIRTH MOM” and decided to make it happen, and I’m happy that they did. Treating the whole world to Idina/Lea duets on both “I Dreamed a Dream” and, strangely, “Poker Face” was a brilliant move. And she managed to do the whole plotline without getting too painfully sappy, so I commend her on that.
Jonathan Groff as Jesse St. James I could caps lock everything I have to say about Jonathan Groff because holy crap do I love that man. I do. He is honestly one of the sweetest actors I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting at the stage door, and he’s sort of an awesome performer, too. My single favorite thing about Jesse was the Jesse/Rachel botched non-sex scene, because it was amazingly awkward. That, and my mom and I spent the entire scene pointing out moments that could have been (probably weren’t, but could have) Spring references. Neil Patrick Harris as Bryan Ryan IN AN EPISODE DIRECTED BY THE LORD MY POP-CULTURAL GOD JOSS WHEDON, NO LESS. It was a tiny bit of a goofy nonsequitor of an episode, but the opportunity for Neil Patrick Harris and Matthew Morrison to epically duet on an Aerosmith song is pretty much the definition of awesome.
partlydrawn 