Theatre Thursday :: we have no shame, and the world probably doesn’t either.

By “we,” I mean some friends and I, over dinner one night; by “no shame,” I mean that since we heard really, really briefly about the fact that they’re apparently making a Twilight musical, we started speculating about what would happen if they made a Hunger Games musical.  I say that the world has no shame because this… is a terrifyingly real possibility, even if, after our discussions, we realized that it would be near-impossible to do at all well.  Now, this discussion was largely about staging issues: how techie the stage would have to be in order to do any of it and not include people in, for example, wolf suits, how you’d set up a stage version of the Cornucopia, etcetera.  We discussed absolutely nothing about how the show would actually be written.  We never figured out what the music would sound like.

We did cast some of the characters, though!  And stage casting means stage actors, so.  Because I promised I would, here’s the very theoretical casting.  You’re allowed to giggle, because it was a ridiculous, cracked-out conversation about a ridiculous, cracked-out idea.  And it’s only off the first book, since that one’s the best.  So yeah.

As Katniss, we have Next to Normal (and Spider-Man, sigh) alum Jennifer Damiano.  We were hesitant about casting… most of the not-adult characters, really, but we were trying.  Because once we start discussing things like this, it has to become a completed list.

As Peeta, we have Jenn’s fellow Spring alum Jonathan B. Wright.

 

We never officially decided on a Gale, but both Jeremy Jordan, late of Rock of Ages, and Adam Kantor, late of the closing cast of Rent, were mentioned as possibilities.

Gavin Creel, known for Thoroughly Modern Millie and the Hair revival, was a late-in-the-game choice for Cinna.

The inimitable Norbert Leo Butz, of whom my favorite work is still The Last 5 Years but who is perfect always, would be our Haymitch.

Kristin Chenoweth, who has been in everything ever, would be playing Effie.  Of course.

And to round it out, the cast of Glee would be allowed to play the various easily murdered Tributes.

(We couldn’t think of any twelve year old girls, and all of our casting for the other adults was very vague, so I won’t recount it.)

…again I say, my friends and I know how to spend time excellently.

–your fangirl heroine.

Superlative Sunday :: the 2012 People’s Choice Awards nominations

Like a good fangeek, I went to cast my votes for the People’s Choice Awards nominees when they were selecting them.  I wanted to make sure there would be some nominees I cared about.  I just… couldn’t care about so many of the prospective nominees.  I was, predictably, all gung ho for the cable television drama nominees, but I skipped most of the network drama and comedy nominees; film was a similar case.  And for music, as evidenced by my various statistics in weeks past, I just voted for Adele whenever I could and skipped everything else.

So, here’s a list of the official nominees I actually care about.

CATEGORIES I CANNOT JUDGE: Favorite Drama Movie, Favorite Comedic Movie Actor, Favorite Animated Movie Voice, Favorite Network TV Drama, Favorite TV Drama Actress, Favorite TV Competition Show, Favorite Daytime TV Host, Favorite Late Night TV Host, Favorite TV Celebreality Star, Favorite Male Artist, Favorite Pop Artist, Favorite Hip-Hop Artist, Favorite R&B Artist, Favorite Band, Favorite Country Artist, Favorite Tour Headliner.

Favorite Movie:
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

Favorite Movie Actor:
I have enjoyed films that feature all of them (Daniel Radcliffe, Hugh Jackman, Johnny Depp, Robert Pattinson [because he was in Goblet of Fire], and Ryan Reynolds) but I would not give any of them this vote.  Nope.

Favorite Movie Actress:
Please Emma Stone forever.  The more I think about her and see her in things, the more I love her.

Favorite Movie Icon:
There is no definition of “icon,” is there?  Morgan Freeman is a badass narrator, though, so I guess I vote him?

Favorite Action Movie:
Here, I am torn.  Part of me wants to vote Deathly Hallows always, but part of me wants to vote X-Men: First Class, because it is wonderful and brilliant.

Favorite Action Movie Star:
The title of the category doesn’t specify “male,” but apparently you have to be a male to be nominated.  It’s 40% of the same actors in the Favorite Movie Actor category, and the others don’t even warrant mentioning.

Favorite Comedy Movie:
By Emma Stone+Liza Lapira best friends default, I vote Crazy, Stupid, Love.  I guess.

Favorite Comedic Movie Actress:
Again, Emma Stone for everything.  (Though I think it’s funny to call Natalie Portman a “comedic” movie actress based on one or two films.)

Favorite Movie Star Under 25:
It’s kinda just Chloe Moretz vs. everyone from Harry Potter, and as much as I love everyone from Harry Potter, Chloe Moretz is a baby badass and I adore her.

Favorite Ensemble Movie Cast:
Same problem as in Favorite Action Movie.

Favorite Movie Superhero:
Why does Mystique count as a hero if Magneto doesn’t?  They both try to do hero things, then go “bad” by the end.  I vote for James McAvoy instead.  (ALL THE X-MEN.)

Favorite Book Adaptation:
Harry Potter.  Again.  Always.

Favorite TV Drama Actor:
Nathan Fillion can have every vote, right?  (Even if I’m not up to current on Castle yet.)

Favorite Network TV Comedy:
I’ve only seen a few episodes of The Big Bang Theory, but I’ll give it my vote.

Favorite TV Comedy Actor:
Jim Parsons and Neil Patrick Harris get my votes on principle.

Favorite TV Comedy Actress:
I don’t watch 30 Rock, but I loved Tina Fey on SNL, so, again, on principle.

Favorite Cable TV Comedy:
Weeds, please.

Favorite TV Crime Drama:
Castle.  Always and forever.

Favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show:
True Blood and The Walking Dead are both really more “horror,” but they both get votes from my heart.  (A little more for True Blood.)

Favorite TV Guest Star:
I will allow this one win for Glee, just for Kristin Chenoweth’s street cred.

Favorite New TV Drama:
Pan Am for the clothes, Ringer for the camp.

Favorite New TV Comedy:
2 Broke Girls for the snarky Kat Dennings, New Girl for the nerdtastic Zooey Deschanel.

Favorite Female Artist, Favorite Song of the Year, Favorite Album of the Year, Favorite Music Video:
Some combination of Adele, “Rolling in the Deep,” and 21.  (And I haven’t even seen the video.)

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: top 11 reasons Glee doesn’t suck (in my opinion)

Now, even if Glee didn’t star two Broadway people I’m inordinately fond of (I’ve been on the Matthew Morrison train since 2005, when I saw him in The Light in the Piazza and fell in love) I’d probably have started in on watching it.  I am that kind of person.  I am fully aware of how utterly ridiculous it can be at times, but at the same time I think it’s doing things that other network shows wouldn’t necessarily do, and as such bringing things (as serious as gay teenager dynamics and as light-hearted as the occasional showtune) to an audience that might not otherwise get exposed to them as much.

Having the mid-season break makes sense for networky reasons, but it really does build the anticipation up.  And by this point in the break, where it’s almost over, I really do start to feel a sense of withdrawal.  I need my weekly dose of smartly arranged pop songs and fluff and the romantic drama I’ve never actually experienced in real life.  So, in the spirit of this, and in anticipation for Sunday’s ridiculous-as-all-get-out Super Bowl episode, I present this list.  As usual, I couldn’t narrow it down.

11. Jane Lynch as Sue Sylvester.
This one is all but obvious, given all the awards this woman has won.  But I’ve always been fond of her, so seeing her be famous all of a sudden is sort of awesome.  Even though you may hate Sue Sylvester, she’s the single funniest thing on Glee and her one-liners are priceless.  The occasional times we see her relationship with her sister (and, though it’s not so much the case now, the beginning of her relationship with Becky) are redeeming.  But not too redeeming, that wouldn’t be fun.

10. Asian love.

I was into Tina and Artie, don’t get me wrong.  I sort of adore Artie a little, but the business with Tina and Mike just got too cute for words.  (And if Artie really was blowing Tina off for video games, I say she made the right choice.  That isn’t cool.)  Tina and Mike may have their ups and downs, but they aren’t too annoyingly in-your-face about it (cough, cough, Finn and Rachel?  Sweet Jesus) and they come out of it all right.  I like that Mike is into Tina for who she is, and I like that they complement each other.  And I loved their cover of “Sing!” from Chorus Line.  Kind of awesome.

9. Actually, kind of just Tina in general.
I have loved Tina since the very beginning.  Maybe it just started with my inability to allow myself to associate with the other female roles.  I couldn’t allow myself to associate mentally with Rachel (though I do love me some Lea Michele) and Quinn was at first too perfect, then her problems were just so far from anything I’d ever experience ever; Mercedes was too sassy for me, Emma too neat-freaky, Terri too plain old freaky, Brittany too ditzy and Santana too bitchy.  And I am incapable of watching something and not putting myself with at least one person, I’m not entirely sure why but it’s always been that way.  So, sure, it started as a default thing, and a little bit of an “awesome, Jenna Ushkowitz was in Spring Awakening and I totally love the track of her as Ilse I found on YouTube” thing.  Then it grew into an “aw, I sort of get being that awkward one in the corner that isn’t really the star of anything ever” thing.  Then it grew into a “holy crap, I love the way you dress” thing (seriously.  Her Gothic cheerleader outfit was sort of adorable, I do not even care what Artie thought of it, and that burgundy velvet coat she was sporting in the last song in the same episode was absolutely amazing).  She’s just precious and underrated and I feel strangely proud of how she’s grown as a character.

8. Heather Morris as Brittany S. Pierce.

So I didn’t think much of Brittany at first.  Then she danced a bit.  Then she started dropping one-liners.  Then the one-liners started making me just about roll on the floor laughing.  Then they revealed she and Santana were totally friends with benefits.  Then she danced some more.  Then she and Artie started dating and I feel like they go better together than Artie and Tina did in a strange way (they’re what the other needs, instead of what the other theoretically wants, I guess?).  Then the Rocky Horror episode rolled around and she was Columbia.  (For whatever reason, I’ve always had a strange fondness for Columbia, and when I found out they were doing a Rocky Horror episode and cast it in my head, she was easily my choice.  It’s sort of perfect.)  I don’t know.  Where once she was just good comedic relief, she’s now spilling comedic relief while being what I sort of think of as the Glee version of a whore with a heart of gold.  She may be a ridiculous skank at times.  But, darn it, she’s just adorable.

7. The occasional showtune.
Now, I don’t listen to pop music much, so most of the songs they cover on Glee are, if not entirely new, then at least somewhat new to me.  I can safely say that I would not know a sort of disgusting amount of the songs as well were it not for Glee, and I thank them similarly for giving me a version of the song that I can listen to without feeling guilty (“Keep Holding On” anyone?  I remember when I actually listened to Avril Lavigne seriously.  And, aw, their cover of that song is amazing.  “Bad Romance” too, because I love that all the girls get to tear that one up so fiercely).  But my favorite of all time is when they bust out a showtune.  I’m not really talking when Rachel does a theater ballad, although I love Lea doing theater ballads, but the moments, like Tina and Mike’s aforementioned “Sing!” or the completely nonsensical Will-sick-and-hallucinating “Make ‘Em Laugh” or the apparent Rachel/Mercedes “Take Me or Leave Me” that’s been announced as coming up soon.  Because, really, c’est fantastique.

6. Chris Colfer as Kurt Hummel.

Enough said.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.  Guest stars of awesome.
Darren Criss as Blaine
He’s Harry Potter!  He did “Teenage Dream” better than Katy Perry.  He actually made me listen to “Hey Soul Sister” even though I hate that song deeply.  He is so completely amazing with Kurt.  (They just need to happen already.)  What’s not to love?
Kristin Chenoweth as April Rhodes
Even though I sort of hate April, I love how amazingly Kristin plays her.  And excuses for Kristin to bust out belting random anythings are always good, too.
Idina Menzel as Shelby Corcoran
I love Idina so so so much.  I’m pretty sure the Glee people saw that internet people were saying “OMG IDINA SHOULD BE LEA’S BIRTH MOM” and decided to make it happen, and I’m happy that they did.  Treating the whole world to Idina/Lea duets on both “I Dreamed a Dream” and, strangely, “Poker Face” was a brilliant move.  And she managed to do the whole plotline without getting too painfully sappy, so I commend her on that.
Jonathan Groff as Jesse St. James
I could caps lock everything I have to say about Jonathan Groff because holy crap do I love that man.  I do.  He is honestly one of the sweetest actors I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting at the stage door, and he’s sort of an awesome performer, too.  My single favorite thing about Jesse was the Jesse/Rachel botched non-sex scene, because it was amazingly awkward.  That, and my mom and I spent the entire scene pointing out moments that could have been (probably weren’t, but could have) Spring references.
Neil Patrick Harris as Bryan Ryan
IN AN EPISODE DIRECTED BY THE LORD MY POP-CULTURAL GOD JOSS WHEDON, NO LESS.  It was a tiny bit of a goofy nonsequitor of an episode, but the opportunity for Neil Patrick Harris and Matthew Morrison to epically duet on an Aerosmith song is pretty much the definition of awesome.

–your fangirl heroine.