Sarcastic Saturday :: I can make crackfiction out of anything.

Usually, the ones I get are just the same grammatically incorrect strings of ! and semi-related words, followed by links and things.  But sometimes, there’s just the ones that are strings of completely unrelated words in a chunk, and those are my favorite.  Case in point:

Order Seat,return account to indicate module separate further friend environment report music direct lift seek certain death version true meal obvious clear defence odd memory hurt individual normal place authority far responsible warn serious master design grant late tradition convention victim recommend odd artist formal plate focus detail aspect considerable facility raise slip exist detailed combine bright neck come usual score culture where image judge paint agreement legal life move estimate traffic official business bind employment plan winner value plate actually considerable objective tell kid sleep choice conclusion conversation little forward come

This is where I attempt to decipher this.  It could be a very important code that kfz versicherung allianz24 erfahrung just has to share, right?

“Order Seat,” like on a train or airplane, perhaps.  “Return account to indicate,” as in when you return to an account it will indicate something?  Your financial statement will show… that you’ve gotten plane tickets!  “Module separate,” nope, it’s definitely a train, module as in compartment.  “Further,” it’s in the back of the train.  “Friend environment,” it’s either a green train or one with very good service.  “Report music,” I’m thinking it must have good service, and entertainment to boot.  “Direct lift,” it’s going to take you straight to where you need it to, no stops or transfers.  “Seek certain death,” well, that’s ominous.  Unless you’ve intended to die, and that’s sad.  But maybe you’re researching for a fictional book about train… murders.  Yeah.  Rick Castle’s going on a researchy train ride.

“Version true meal,” there are different meals that can be ordered on the train, but only one of them’s real.  The rest are all processed and stuff.  (It could be a green train that has good service to boot!)  “Obvious clear defense,” the train has very good security.  That, or Castle is traveling with some of his cop buddies, and they’re not being subtle about their cop-ness.  “Odd memory,” Castle is flashing back to a childhood train trip with his mother, and anything with his mother is odd.  “Hurt individual,” he’s… thinking about Beckett?  “Normal place,” yes.  He’s thinking about Beckett.  They’re totally in a normal place.  (This is the point where I have to point out that I’m only through the first season.)  Except for not, but hey.  “Authority far,” they’re traveling farther and farther away from New York where the police department is.  “Responsible warn serious,” but something bad is going to happen on the train and they have to tell everyone!  “Master design,” it’s a very intricate plan, but they’re going to foil it.

“Grant late tradition,” one of the financial grants that keeps the train pretty has been in place forever, but it hasn’t been paid in a while, so the train people are cranky and… going to seek revenge!  “Convention victim,” they’re going on a train ride to a convention of… of writerpeople!  So Castle has a purpose to journeying other than research!  And they’re going to talk about someone he killed off in his last book.  “Recommend odd artist,” well, Castle’s a weirdo, as far as Beckett’s concerned, but he’s a pulp artist of a kind, and if you like that sort of thing, he’s worth reading.  “Formal plate,” there’s a fancy dinner on the train, and everyone’s got to dress up and be on good manners.  “Focus detail aspect,” and the train people are going to enact their revenge plan, but Castle knows about train parties, so he sees some detail that tips him off to the sketchiness!  “Considerable facility,” it’s a very impressively large train.  “Raise slip exist,” someone’s trying to sneak out the window when the cops chase them.  So they don’t die.

“Detailed combine bright,” there’s a very intricate farming equipment thing traveling by the train when dude opens the window, and its lights are on.  “Neck come usual,” dude jumps off the train, and normally he’d have broken his neck at the angle he fell, but he didn’t.  “Score culture where image judge paint,” if the train hadn’t been fancy and cultured, the clue wouldn’t have been apparent, and Castle couldn’t have judged that he was the source of the weird, because there was a failing in a painting on the plates.  “Agreement legal life,” the dude has to agree to a plea bargain so he doesn’t spend his life in jail.  “Move estimate traffic,” now that the train’s stopped, they have to hurry to get to the convention.  “Official business,” because it’s very serious business.  “Bind employment plan winner,” Castle’s deal with the police has again paid off and everyone wins at life.

“Value plate,” they stop at a roadside diner for breakfast, and it’s cheap and greasy, but it’s fun.  “Actually considerable objective,” Beckett and the others have to admit that this hasn’t been a total waste of time.  “Tell kid sleep,” Castle calls Alexis and she’s been up all night studying and he has to force her to get some rest so she doesn’t wear herself out.  “Choice conclusion,” this is a good ending to the story.  “Conversation little forward come,” Castle and Beckett have a short conversation wherein he invites her to the fancy dinner at the writerpeople convention and wishes he could be more forward about it because he secretly loves her.

Yeah, that’s a nonsensical episode of Castle, but.  It’s a narrative.  That I pulled out of a spam comment.  What even.

–your fangirl heroine.