Tag Archives: sailor moon crystal

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which we are kinkshaming this entire episode.

22 Feb

How many times can they say “space-time” in the next episode

I’m going to count

This isn’t the time!

Or is it…the space?

3

Oh Mercury. I’m not sure your glasses are going to help

4

WOULD THAT THIS HOODIE WERE A TIME HOODIE

Also, the In-Between

Same, y’all, with your O_o at Sailor Moon talking about Mamoru

Oh no! Luna-P is malfunctioning. There is a wrong happening.

Sailor Moon just passed out from sadness?

THE ENTIRE PLANET IS ABLAZE

That is so much boob

Why does evil Chibi-usa only have lipstick on her bottom lip

“I never realized you had your own dimension”

Okay but why does Demande care what happened to Rubeus this is why it sucks when the bad guys are concurrent they’re not supposed to give shits

“The only man I love” my father

5

I’m kinkshaming this episode

I’m kinkshaming evil Chibi-usa in general honestly.

Now suddenly they’re back in the real world and talking about

6

“We thought we’d come back here for a bit so you could recover”

“As a disembodied spirit I can hardly do anything!”

Ah Diana, there for chirpy kitten exposition.

“A blood-red sunset is a bad omen” thank

7

The space-time key dropped out of nowhere and “it feels like it’s ripping my body apart” and now we’re hearing the angelic chorus heralding demonic activity?

“It’s me… Princess Usagi Small Lady Serenity” no

Princess Usagi Small Lady Serenity is fucking bonkers

“I’m not the little girl I used to be” I GOT TIDDIES NOW

“My name is Black Lady, Queen of Darkness” fuck

–your fangirl heroines.

regarding

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which Saphir throws a fit.

15 Feb

“Someone who wants you, someone who needs you” Wiseman, I’m kinkshaming

Aw shit, Chibi-usa going dark made her mommy’s crystal coma coffin go dark too.

Okay. That library is pretty boss.

Death Phantom. “Considered one of history’s worst criminals” etc etc yikes.

That’s a nice prison planet you have there…sure would be a shame if something…happened to it

Also. The planet is called fucking. Nemesis. The fuck you think was gonna happen?

Also, have the respective inner senshi literally been in less than five episodes this season??

“What is this dark chamber” “none of us want to go near the dark chamber”

Uh

That’s what Lance Hunter said at the Hellfire Club.

Conversely, DO NOT DO THE THING WITH THE BOOK BECAUSE OF REASONS IN THE DARK CHAMBER BAD THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU DO THINGS BECAUSE OF REASONS

Blah blah exposition Saphir blah blah

Whine whine Wiseman is bad I am a boy

“He’s possessed, and he doesn’t even realize it!” uh. Do you usually realize when you’re possessed?

“He lost his mind and it’s all your fault!” whoa Saphir chill the fuck

Oh my god noooooooo Black Lady with a sexy voice nooooo

“Don’t accuse me of trying to wreck history!” valid.

Wow

Sailor Moon is awakening her friends with… golden light reaching into the floor

Now they’re transforming

Thank fucking christ

Now they’re…. Sending glitter through the floor of the library and exploding out of the ceiling???? What the fuck I mean I grew up with this shit but like, that’s a little much

No Demande

It’s the POWER OF LOOOOOOOVE

Aw

Shit

It’s a good thing that sometime in the future, Usagi hits a growth spurt and gets taller than 4’11”

“Peace and harmony are illusions”

Christ Demande just stop already

It’s my ILLUSIONS

“Time to show them your EVIL SIGHT”

“I see through your camouflage” Rubeus says to Wiseman. He is an expert because of his camouflage pants.

You’d better telepathically give Venus a call in the kickass library y’all

Why does the castle on Nemesis vaguely resemble the British House of Parliament

HOLY SHIT NO GOD THIS IS THE WORST THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE WORST STOP SEDUCING YOUR DAD EVIL CHIBI-USA

Awww Venus is so happy about her girls “I knew we’d be together again”

–your fangirl heroines.

sunlit20shade

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which there is a lot of unnecessary creeping and heterosexuality.

8 Feb

Demande is a creep: news at 10.

Such drama!

Another thing I don’t understand: why it shows Mamoru standing in the rain reading a book with glasses in on the credits when he literally almost never wears his glasses. Why in the rain of all things. Why in the credits.

“Where am I?” in a hallucination where Mamoru is apparently on a date with a teenage version of his daughter, who of course is also evil. And then, in real life, in a fucking sexy nightgown in some strange man’s bed in a room full of pedestals and a hologram of her future self. CLASSY

“Is that me?” Looks a lot like you, but slightly older and in a dress that’s different than the one you have on but similar to the one worn by the comatose crystal-encased body of your future self. CLASSY

OOH YIKES COMPULSION MAGICKS

“I wanted to prove that the legendary Silver Crystal is not the only limitless power in the universe” or you could just fuck off with your evil hipster self

Wow how dare they have a utopia that’s ACTUALLY not terrible and everyone seems pretty happy with life except you

A fucking. Flashback. To Demande creeping. “She looks on me with disdain. To her, I am less than human.” Accurate.

“I wished to make her grovel before me. I had to have her by any means necessary” STOP STOP NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

STOP

DON’T TOUCH ME THERE

THIS IS MY NO-NO SQUARE

HAHAHA

“She is in fact 900 years old…. One day she just stopped growing.” What the fuck. Chibi-usa literally… grows up and transforms in the next season.

“Everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.”

This Phantom looks like an emaciated Gothic Dr. Manhattan.

Can they telepathically communicate now?

Please stop showing closeups of the teenager’s boobs I don’t want that

“The worst part is, someone other than Mamo kissed me.” In this case, that is bad because he is Demande and he is baaaaaad

Oh look, Ami and Rei and Mako are finally back in the story. In a dank dark cave.

They’ve just realized their transformations aren’t working. Now they’re being energy-sucked. Well, at least their voices when they all say “Sailor… Moon…” in unison are correct.

SHE IS LITERALLY FOURTEEN RIGHT NOW IN THIS FLASHBACK CHIBI-USA OF COURSE SHE IS DIFFERENT THAN YOUR MOTHER TEMPERAMENTALLY.

“I bet you’re not the real princess,” says a faceless bully, taunting Chibi-usa.

I like Mamo shading his wife for being a crybaby teenager omg

Chibi-usa just threw her Luna-P ball at the Legendary Silver Crystal. Classy. Oh that was a flashback to what happened and she was upset and now in real-time Luna-P is talking?

Chibi-usa is now flashbacking to the forbidden door where she first met Sailor Pluto and became her friend. And clearly got a giant, but not-reciprocated of course, crush on her.

“If you ever feel sad, just cast this spell. Abra-cadabra!” says Sailor Pluto, and now there are nonsense rose petals.

“You mean my Garnet Rod?”

Always, until I journey back to the past to help fight Death Busters next season.

Why does Sailor Pluto keep fucking blushing in King Endymion’s presence that’s fucked up. Now Chibi-usa is jealous of her dad for being special to Sailor Pluto also. Fucking. This is fucked up. Sailor Pluto is gay-ace and doesn’t give a single fucking shit about King Endymion’s opinion beyond the fact that he’s married to her queen.

Now Wiseman is taunting Chibi-usa over to the Dark Side.

–your fangirl heroines.

ruining20fun

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which only the stupidest-named attacks and plans succeed.

1 Feb

Ah yes, Crystal Tokyo is unveiled.

ALSO LIKE. Chibi-usa KNOWs WHAT HER DAD LOOKS LIKE. The fact that she STILL had/has a crush on Mamoru IS SO MESSED UUUUUUUPPPPP

King Endymion’s cape flourish is on point, though.

Tmw you realize you have a kitten 10 centuries in the future.

“What’s going on? He doesn’t have a reflection… what you see is an astral projection”

“I am Usagi Small Lady Serenity” she named her child after HERSELF. THREE TIMES LMAO

Tmw you realize you have a child 10 centuries in the future.

How the fuck is all of this a surprise????????????

“The queen rarely leaves the palace” Um ok

Also it’s pretty shitty of the Silver Crystal to… not protect any of the senshi or Endymion.

Shit “the Silver Millennium Family” that’s even dumber

Okay so he’s explaining that the Silver Crystal bestows longevity and blessings on everyone allowing them to live for centuries but ONOES the Malefic Black Crystal is causing a spatial distortion and sucking up comatose bodies. This is dark.

But also, what happened to rescuing their goddamn friends.

The planet Nemesis ok

“The Black Moon… bloodthirsty anarchists who rejected long life” ok

“Usagi’s turning invisible!”

King Endymion does not fucking know when to shut up.

Is Sailor Pluto blushing at praise from King Endymion? What the fuck?

Usagi chill the fuck out stop being jealous of your DAUGHTER

Now Chibi-usa has gone back to the past, again, to stare at everyone’s comatose bodies???

Meanwhile Demande is peeping on a hologram of Neo Queen Serenity

Code Extra: Operation Relax

Which appears to be turning her arms into snakes?

TENTACLE SNAKES THAT SUCK OUT ENERGY I AM SO

“Who’s your favorite now?” Esmeraude asks of Demande, who is not physically present

Oh now he is, and creeping.

“There they are, those fierce determined eyes, the ones that stared back at me that day,” he murmurs, spooping crepping on Sailor Moon with his random third eye.

Kidnap, and scene. Yike.

–your fangirl heroines.

just20dont

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which creepy Elektral overtones ruin everything.

25 Jan

“So, Chibi-usa is from the future” yes…she literally just said she was from the future…

Why did you have to spoil that moment of emotion with… creepy Elektral behavior… not that that’s out of the norm, but really.

I just noticed (re-noticed?) that Artemis’ eyes turned green in Crystal. That’s dumb.

Do Usagi’s parents know she stays the night at her boyfriend’s house?

Oh the Elektral complex… just got real

“So what if she’s little…that doesn’t matter in love!” UM YES YES IT DOES THAT’S ILLEGAL

AND SHE IS YOUR DAUGHTER

OH MY GOD IS HE ABOUT TO BANG A MIDDLE SCHOOLER NOOOOOOOOO

THIS IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE AND WE’RE NOT EVEN FIVE MINUTES IN

“No one is allowed in this part of the castle” are we in Beauty and the Beast now?

“That is a forbidden door” zoinks

Also, if Chibi-usa was in Mamoru’s bed where did Mamoru and Usagi do the deed

“You want me to come?” “And me too?” SHE LITERALLY JUST ASKED YOU TO

Nice that they just showed us a wobbly clock going real fast in case we didn’t get that she was yelling about time traveling.

Oh man, they just fucked up worse than Barry Allen. Which is saying something.

Oh my god the shadows on Esmeraude’s dress were just like VAGIIIIIINA

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE

They’re creppy spoopy twin boys who are Esmeraude’s little bads apparently but I’m not okay with it. Also they look like fuckboys.

They look like Jedward

Ok but Pluto just Dead Scream’d them and she’s really hardcore and scary

Also she’s like eight shades lighter than in the original, just saying

What the fuck Chibi-usa stole the space-time key? The whole point is that Pluto gave her the key and was living in Luna-P helping what the fuckkkkk?

“My life never seems to be easy when I’m living with the two of you” obvs, but thank, Pluto

“I am not allowed to abandon my post” until they need me on Earth when Dr. Tomoe starts lobbying attacks from his Infinite School

Unless Esmeraude giggles behind her hand 20 more times it’s wrong

This is fucking insane

There be some bad CGI going on

Aw, snap. Realize what’s going on you guys figure it out

Diana is here early, okay.

–your fangirl heroines.

what20the20fuck20you20guys

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which there are so many unnecessary quotes.

18 Jan

“The prince already has the other two. This is just needlessly cruel.” Same? Zoinks.

A containment module? What the fuck?

“…to make up for my failure,” Venus murmurs, holding a sobbing Sailor Moon in her arms very heterosexually.

“Jupiter, Mercury, and Mars, they’re all alive, I’m sure of it,” Mamoru says heatedly. Uh bud. Where have you even been?

Oh it’s gay li’l Momo here to befriend Chibi-usa!

Demande wants to showboat. Saphir is too practical. Demande wants the queen’s corpse. (…to do what with? I seem to recall original anime Demande being a creeper in the biggest way.)

“I regret what happened to your sisters” I regret it too. I regret it a lot.

Gay li’l Momo literally wasn’t even in it? What was the point of that?

A DVD about psychic channeling starring… Calaveras.

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

Calaveras’ boobs are working in a way that boobs do not work.

“These aliens, they’re beginning to sound less like invaders and more like a cult.”

Oh, it’s one of the girls from Rei’s spoopy Ghostbuster circle? Goodness.

HELLO NOPE MAMORU IS SUMMONING THE GHOSTS OF THE FOUR KINGS TO TELL HIM WHAT IS GOING WRONG WITH THE MALEFIC BLACK CRYSTAL GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE FOUR KINGS GET OUT I AM NOT HERE FOR THIS

“You were not reincarnated by accident” ok then

HOLY SHIT CALAVERAS’ GIANT SPIRIT CHANNELING RALLY IS HER………… SITTING IN A CHAIR AND HYPNOTIZING A CROWD WITH THE LITERAL LYRICS FROM HAIR

To wit, quoth “Let the Sunshine In/The Flesh Failures” better known as “Aquarius”: “No more falsehoods or derisions, golden living dreams of visions. Mystic crystal revelation and the mind’s true liberation”

“You cannot kill what is already dead”

“I’ve been hit. That doesn’t happen a lot.”

TUXEDO LOVE SMOKING BOMBER ???? is that what he just said?

No no I checked. Tuxedo La Smoking Bomber. The “Love” part was the part I wasn’t confused about. So what the fuck.

THERE HAVE BEEN THREE STAR WARS QUOTES IN THIS ONE EPISODE WHAT

–your fangirl heroines.

lipbiting

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which heterosexuality is bad and plot development doesn’t exist.

11 Jan

The fuckery continues, presumably.

This just in: Chibi-usa cares more about her Luna-P doll than Usagi or the fact that Usagi’s friends are missing.

Also: LUNA-P IS TERRIFYING

Why the fuck are they blushing

Also like. From a storytelling standpoint. They are already at the season endgame and it is only 3 episodes in. so what the fuck.

“I just caught a summer cold” if it’s summer shouldn’t they be on vacation?

Also like. All of this is just an endless parade of why. I don’t even know.

Also. Minako stands right in front of the Sailor V poster and nobody goes “oh yeah that’s weird.”

“So now you feel better” why the fuck should she two of her girlfriends are still kidnapped into space of course they’re not fucking all right they’re kidnapped into space.

Every single glasses-wearer in this canon has polycarbonate lenses.

“Don’t make me beg” don’t make me kinkshame you Tsukino-papa.

“As soon as I touched her I had a vision” and you Mamo-chan just stop everything

“I sense that there is no need to be hasty” what are you, an Ent

Petz is literally no fun without her misandry.

Why are we wasting time tangenting on a random boy?

This dude touched Makoto even after she said she gets “staticky” when she’s not feeling well and got shocked. Dumbass.

This dude looks like Motoki but younger and stupider.

“In other news, more mysterious crop circles” are you shitting me.

Also, here’s something. Are laws about independence of minors different in Japan? Because. Mako is 14 and lives in an apartment alone with her parents’ inheritance.

“I can’t lie to you when you look at me like that.” Mako stop

HETEROSEXUALITY IS BAD

Okay but how do you know this fool is not a puppet of the Black Moon????????

Why is he swearing to protect her do they even know each other beyond a passing acquaintance? Who is this fool and where did he come from?

Ok so the original series is set in the 90s/earlier and presumably this one is too if it’s closer to the manga~ but Mako has an LCD flatscreen television. It’s barely plausible that she would have one of those living by herself on inheritance money in the present day but in the 90s/earlier?

“[Jupiter] was a droid” ………what

“I’ll fill you with regret, it’ll leave you numb”

FLOWER HURRICANE

Another thing that is annoying me about Crystal is that it isn’t actually making the girls discovering they have new abilities a thing. They just suddenly have new attacks and shrug.

I still do not appreciate the Spectre Sisters’ demotion to little-bad. Even if it is truer to the manga.

–your fangirl heroines.

such20done