Tag Archives: joelle carter

Television Tuesday :: Justified.

14 Apr

I’ve been watching Justified since it began, and like… just about everything that I’ve been watching for the past bunch of years, it’s just come to an end.  (I feel like there is some great significant life feeling to be had here, but honestly, most of my shows that have already ended I’ve been ready to see them go given how things have turned out I’m really not kidding I’m not getting over True Blood I’m really sorry you guys.)  I know I don’t talk about it much, because I just… don’t.  It’s always been a consistent source of enjoyment for me, though, not my most favorite but not my least favorite by far.

Now, my people and I started watching this show because of one reason, and that reason is Timothy Olyphant.  We love him from Deadwood and we think it’s completely hilarious that he seems to only play two varieties of role (psycho criminal and law enforcement officer) and we just… love him.  (Doesn’t hurt that my mother and I can agree on him being a rather becoming fellow.)  And to be sure, he’s always been in fine form on Justified: Raylan is a much snarkier asshole than Seth (who, bless him, is also a bit of an asshole at times, but in a different way) and rather more openly philandering, he’s got a wryer sense of humor and less of a werewolf guilt complex, but nonetheless he’s interesting enough that I’ve never begrudged him his existence like I’ve gradually started to do with, say, Don Draper.  I’ve rolled my eyes at him sometimes (his ineffable penchant for blondes, for example) but I’ve usually at least liked him overall.

He’s not the reason I stuck around, though.  While I think that Walton Goggins’ Boyd is masterfully acted and written, and Joelle Carter’s Ava has always been compelling, it’s a few of the side characters that have held my attention most.  Though Loretta (Kaitlyn Dever) was really a tertiary character, mostly tethered to the second and last seasons, I always had a fondness for her, probably because I have this residual fondness for sassy teenage girls that comes from my days of being a teenage girl who desperately wanted to be sassy.

The great joys of the show for me have always been Tim (Jacob Pitts) and Rachel (Erica Tazel), though.  Raylan’s fellow deputy marshals, they’ve always been a grounding force for the narrative, and a source of blessed sass of different ways as well.  Tim is this gift of a man, completely snarky and oddly self-aware, never gross, just brilliant; Rachel takes no shit from anyone and runs this town and she’s a WOC high-ranking law enforcement officer whose plot was always her own.  The greatest disappointment of this show for me has always been that there hasn’t been enough Tim and Rachel.

And as a finale episode?  Well, I admit that I was expecting it to follow the tradition of late: semi-tragic white man sacrifices himself for… something in the show’s final scenes.  (No, but seriously.  It’s the Breaking Bad formula.  Also followed at the least by True Blood and Sons.  Probably by other things.)  I was expecting shootouts and deaths, at least one that would make me angry.  Instead, I got things handled by proper legal procedure, then a Four Years Later (which, I admit, when I saw that I actually groaned, because I am exhausted with time jumps) that actually wound up being sort of sweet and slightly implication-filled in a way I wouldn’t have predicted but that actually makes sense the more I think about it.

So, good job, show.  You never disappointed.

–your fangirl heroine.

sunshine smile


Television Tuesday :: 2014 and the Bechdel test

16 Dec

At least in regards to the shows I watch, which again can be found here.

So as I’ve mentioned before, I kept track of TV seasons that started this year and whether or not they passed the Bechdel test.  I can’t promise I have an exact tally, but this is what I found.

  • In season two (I didn’t count during season one because the season started last year and since I hadn’t started counting then the tally would be inaccurate) Agents of SHIELD has so far passed the Bechdel test every episode.  Sometimes it’s kind of a sketchy pass (i.e. episode nine, “Ye Who Enter Here,” when the conversation between Skye [Chloe Bennet] and Raina [Ruth Negga] did involve Skye’s father but touched on non-Skye’s father subjects for at least thirty seconds) but it’s a pass each time.  Thank the gods for Skye, because a majority of the passes were due to scenes of hers: her and Raina (how thrilled am I about her and Raina in general?  Pretty damn thrilled, honestly), her and May (Ming-Na Wen), her and Jemma (Elizabeth Henstridge).  (Actually, all of those relationships are ones I’m thrilled about.)  Also of note is episode three, “Making Friends and Influencing People,” where the Bechdel test is smashed into tiny pieces with the multitude of interactions between Skye and May and also Jemma and Bobbi (Adrianne Palicki).  Thumbs up, y’all.
  • As SHIELD goes, I will cite a first example of times that women talk about a man but it mattered a lot: that conversation in episode nine between Jemma and Bobbi that was about both of their respective man situations, kind of, because what that did was allowed Bobbi to represent for “Jemma’s side” of the situation, to give her reassurance that she does need, and allowed Jemma to finally get to tell her side of the story.
  • You know it’s a weird world when a show that is titled simply Girls can’t even pass the Bechdel test 100% of the time.  They did rate a respectable 88%, with the one episode that failed being because every conversation was about a man if I recall correctly, but still.  Wow.
  • As I mentioned before, Justified passed 66% of the time, which is still surprisingly often compared to some of the shows on my list.  And this is because Ava (Joelle Carter) went to ladyjail.  Every episode after Ava went to ladyjail passed, because ladyjail is one place where ladies are going to narratively have to speak to one another constantly and therefore some of it will be not just about men.
  • Game of Thrones and True Blood both passed 40% of the time.  As Game of Thrones goes, good job Melisandre (Carice van Houten) who was responsible for half of those passes (once with Shireen [Kerry Ingram], once with Selyse [Tara Fitzgerald]).  And as True Blood goes, well… the what-could-have-been with Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) and Adilyn (Bailey Noble) is the most important one to me.  The rest I’ve chosen to push out of my mind because they dealt largely with plots that I loathed and represented nothing good that could have been.
  • A lot of the conversations about men in Game of Thrones are, while note test-passing, still revealing of things that may or may not be important narratively and may or may not just make me smile: Margaery (Natalie Dormer) and Brienne (Gwendoline Christie), Margaery and Olenna (Diana Rigg), Margaery and Cersei (Lena Headey).  Also Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) and Missandei (Nathalie Emmanuel).
  • Fargo, Mad Men, and Sons of Anarchy passed two times apiece; Penny Dreadful a sad one.  The new ridiculous TNT show The Librarians has passed 1/3 episodes so far, and I can pray that it picks up with that soon, as I’m praying that it picks up in other ways soon.
  • And as for total Bechdel test failures?  True Detective, From Dusk Till Dawn, Silicon Valley.  2/3 of which I was watching because other people really wanted to and I couldn’t get out of it.

–your fangirl heroine.


Television Tuesday :: television and the Bechdel test, part one.

15 Apr

Since the beginning of the year, I have been keeping track of television shows and the Bechdel test (do two women talk for more than thirty seconds about something other than a man).  I’ve only been doing it with shows which had seasons that started after January 1 2014 (i.e. The Walking Dead and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. are not part of the tally) because… I don’t know.  Statistics are comforting.  The people I watch the most television with are already getting tired of me talking about this.

I won’t be posting the entire summary until the end of 2014, because that’s how I designed the… not-quite-experiment… and I want to be very technical about it, but I will be routinely commenting on certain things that doing this teaches me, beginning with tonight.

Season five of Justified finished airing last week.  Now, I’ve liked Justified since the beginning (we came for Timothy Olyphant and I stayed for Rachel [Erica Tazel] and Tim [Jacob Pitts], among other things) but one of its biggest failings has always been the lack of Bechdel passing.  It’s always had good female characters (Rachel, Ava [Joelle Carter], Winona [Natalie Zea], Mags [Margo Martindale], Loretta [Kaitlyn Dever], etcetera) but there hasn’t been a lot of interaction between them, or in the case of Mags and Loretta they often (not always) were talking about men and anyway that was way back in season two.  I wasn’t expecting Justified to pass at all this season, since they rarely do, so imagine my surprise when they had a 66% pass rate by episode.

Why was this?  Why, Ava went to women’s prison.

It makes sense that women’s prison would involve talking to other women, and it makes sense that they’d talk about things other than men.  In large part this is just because there weren’t any men present, and sure, they did have conversations that mentioned men on the outside, but that was not the only thing that they discussed.  They had schemes of their own, friendships of their own, rivalries of their own, a women-centric religious circle of their own —

And it occurred to me a few episodes in how really sad it was that the only reason for this abundance of female stuff was that there were very, very few men physically present.  This couldn’t exist on the outside, apparently, the show had to physically remove the women (and do so in order to set up a scenario pertaining to Ava and her man, mind, I’m not forgetting that) from the male world.

Gosh, that’s a sobering thought.

–your fangirl heroine.

that's the approach you're taking

Fictional Friday :: 10 more more cross-canon crack friendships that should be.

16 Mar

10. Kate Gregson (Brie Larson, United States of Tara) and Natalie Goodman (let’s just go with Jennifer Damiano, Next to Normal)
I sort of imagine these two meeting through a “hey!  My mom has psychiatric problems!” help circle.  Which they would both go to and make fun of, but they’d realize that they were both making fun of it, so a friendship would develop from the weirdness of that situation.  “I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea.”  “Me either.”  They could swap stories; Kate would big-sister it, of course, as that is apparently always her role in these things, and Natalie would appreciate the respite from the insanity of overachieving like she does.  Despite meeting through said help circle, they would carefully avoid the topic in casual conversation, but if one of them was having a crap time of it because of that, they’d be able to rely on the other for understanding without too much confusing pity.

9. Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard, True Blood) and Spike (James Marsters, Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
As will be the case with a lot of these, this one is not so much a friendship that should be as a meeting of minds that would either be beneficial or disastrous but probably entertaining.  Obviously, these two have a lot in common.  Bleached hair, kind of smirky; there would be power games and weirdness and wry jokes.  But they would be very acceptable frenemies, as the term goes.

8. Dawn Summers (Michelle Trachtenberg, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner, Game of Thrones)
Also either good or disastrous.  I’m pairing these two off because they are, as characters, polarizing as hell; they’re of similar age and similar propensity to annoy some people.  (And it’s here I clarify that I’m only discussing show!Sansa, or show!anyone, because while I’ve read the first book, I’ve not read past it yet, shameful as that is.  Also, for purposes of this discussion, let’s assume it’s season 5/6 Dawn we’re thinking about.)  They would either find much-needed age-appropriate friends in each other or they’d metaphorically tear each others’ throats out with frustration.  Both of them do need friends who actually understand the place they’re at in life, though; someone outside of their immediate/make-believe family who follows their thoughts without being patronizing or something.

7. Tara Maclay (Amber Benson, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones)
Similarly, Dany needs someone like Tara in her life.  For all of the reasons that it’s good to have Tara in your life.  Dany is a kickass woman, but she doesn’t really have uncomplicated friendships, or any friendships at all that aren’t with her maids or Jorah Mormont, and I bet it would be welcome.  And Tara just makes friends with people and learns from them.  They’d give each other strength and stuff.

6. Arya Stark (Maisie Williams, Game of Thrones) and Mindy Macready (Chloe Moretz, Kick-Ass)
Yep, it’s Lots Of The Game of Thrones Women Get Friends time.  Theirs would be a friendship of general epic; in some vortex of time-space, Arya could teach Mindy how to swordfight and Mindy could teach Arya how to use guns.  They would go around being baby badasses; Arya would take a little while to adjust to Mindy’s bluntness and crassness and whatnot, but she doesn’t care about proper really, it would be more startling than shocking, more “oh, well, all right then” than “oh, the horrors!”  In that vortex of time-space, it would make good sense.

5. Susan Ward (the Heartsick series, which has never been filmed) and Lisbeth Salander (the Millennium trilogy; I’ll go ahead and put Rooney Mara’s face on it because I like Rooney Mara’s face)
I think I’ve mentioned this before.  And it could also go terribly in certain circumstances, in large part because of Lisbeth’s tendency not to trust people too easily.  But they could possibly find common ground, being both punkish types who have participated in the unraveling of crimes.  Lisbeth would find Susan a little too perky at times, even though Susan isn’t that perky; Susan would find Lisbeth occasionally unnerving.  But it could work.  They would be the friends that don’t hang out all the time or anything, but when they saw each other they would get on well, in a way that didn’t necessarily involve a lot of words (well, Lisbeth wouldn’t have a lot of words; Susan would occasionally talk a little too much, but she does that sometimes) but worked for them.

4. Trixie (Paula Malcomson, Deadwood) and Ava Crowder (Joelle Carter, Justified)
Because really.  Both of them are badasses in their way; they sometimes make debatable choices and have debatable allies, but they are devoted to their people.  And they will do what they must for their people.  Including shoot other people who threaten them.  They wouldn’t necessarily be best friends, neither of them are the type to have those, but they’d definitely respect the hell out of each other.

3. Joan Holloway Harris (Christina Hendricks, Mad Men) and Raylan Givens (Timothy Olyphant, Justified)
This was literally the first thing I ever reblogged on tumblr.  And I support it so much.  In a very Joan+Don way.  I support any of Raylan’s friendships with people who are polite, capable, but are not afraid to call him on his bull from time to time.  And goodness knows Joan is willing to call anyone on anything.  I also support any of Joan’s friendships with people that would ultimately respect her, which Raylan would.  Because even though sometimes he’s ridiculous and a pain in the ass for his coworkers, he does respect people at the end of the day.

2. Tim Gutterson (Jacob Pitts, Justified) and Topher Brink (Fran Kranz, Dollhouse)
I don’t think I’ve had occasion to talk about how damn much I love Tim a lot before, but I love Tim.  He is such a smartass, and that is just awesome.  Capable smartasses are delightful characters to have around.  And goodness knows, Topher is my favorite capable smartass.  Topher is sillier than Tim, but I imagine their friendship working for that exact reason.  Tim is a little more serious, Topher is a little more goofy, but they’re both capable as can be and sarcastic as hell.  And the banter would be great.

1. Adelle DeWitt (Olivia Williams, Dollhouse) and Joan again
Also a capable party.  Adelle knows how sometimes-frustrating it is to be responsible for so many people, not all of whom can take care of themselves; Joan knows how often-frustrating it is to be responsible for so many people, not all of whom do take care of themselves.  Adelle can run everything and Joan basically does, even if she doesn’t get the credit she’s due.  And goodness knows they both have practice drinking in the workplace (not that Joan does as much as others, but she can manage in that situation).  I’m just imagining these two getting together after work and finally having someone to properly vent to about everything (subtly and tactfully, but still, they’re both queens of sarcasm in their own ways).  Goodness knows it would do them both good.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: odds of functional romance appearing on 6 currently/recently airing television shows

14 Feb

Pretty simple.  But as of tonight, how many relationships are currently actually functional on television?

6. The Walking Dead
The only “relationships” right now are really Rick (Andrew Lincoln) and Lori (Sarah Wayne Callies) and then Glenn (Steven Yeun) and Maggie (Lauren Cohan).  Neither of which is functional entirely.  Rick and Lori are together right now, but Lori did kind of think that Rick was dead and sleep with his best friend a bunch.  Glenn and Maggie were initiated by apocalypse doom.  Sure, she may love him, and he might love her too even if he didn’t say it.  But it’s not really functional yet.  There aren’t actually a lot of relationships on this show, but the ones that are… yeah.

5. Game of Thrones
Nope.  Weirdly enough, Dany (Emilia Clarke) and Drogo (Jason Momoa) were actually fairly functional.  Sure, she was given to him by her creepy brother to finance his power games, but they figured out a thing and were sort of working it?  And then he died.  Catelyn (Michelle Fairley) and Ned (Sean Bean) were functional, but then he died.  Cersei (Lena Headey) and Robert (Mark Addy) weren’t functional, and he died anyway.  Sansa (Sophie Turner) and Joffrey (Jack Gleeson) were never functional either, because they are children and also he’s a d-bag.  And Cersei and Jaime (Nicolaj Coster-Waldau) weren’t functional, because they’re brother and sister.  No chance of happy relationships here, nope.

4. Boardwalk Empire
I don’t care that Margaret (Kelly Macdonald) and Nucky (Steve Buscemi) got married.  They’re not functional.  He’s a gangster, she slept with Owen (Charlie Cox) that time, it’s doomed.  Jimmy (Michael Pitt) and Angela (Aleksa Palladino) weren’t functional, because they didn’t really love each other much anymore and he was a gangster and she was a lesbian and also he boned his mom.  And then they both got shot.  Lucy (Paz de la Huerta) ran out on her baby arrangement with Van Alden (Michael Shannon), who split up with his wife Rose (Enid Graham).  Etcetera.

3. Sons of Anarchy
Basically, on this show you’re either a criminal (Clay [Ron Perlman], Jax [Charlie Hunnam]) or you’re craycray (Gemma [Katey Sagal], Tara [Maggie Siff]).  Might be good for a little while, but it’s tinged with doom all over.  I don’t doubt that Jax and Tara can be forever-for-a-while loves, but they’ll never be functional.

2. True Blood
And on this show, you’re either a vampire, sleeping with a vampire, or damaged by some elaborate scheme involving vampires.  Eric (Alexander Northman) and Sookie (Anna Paquin) were having great sex, but then she decided that was a bad idea, after previously deciding that Bill (Stephen Moyer) was also a bad idea.  No relationship that girl is in can be functional, I’m pretty sure.  Jason (Ryan Kwanten) slept with Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) after Jess broke up with his best friend Hoyt (Jim Parrack), and also the whole Crystal (Lindsay Pulsipher) mess, and every mess before that.  Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) and Jesus (Kevin Alejandro) were fairly functional, actually, but then Jesus was murdered.  Tara (Rutina Wesley) had a string of bad relationships, but she actually seemed sort of stable with her girlfriend Naomi (Vedette Lim) until they had that whole “oops, I lied about my identity”/”run for your own good” thing and Tara got shot.  Etcetera.  No chances here, either.

1. Justified
And until tonight’s episode, I’d have said “sometimes, you do re-find love with your pregnant ex-wife!”  As weird as the Raylan (Timothy Olyphant) and Winona (Natalie Zea) history was, they seemed to be working it out, but, uhm.  Possibly just kidding.  Boyd (Walton Goggins) and Ava (Joelle Carter) have a weird kind of criminal hillbilly love, but by virtue of the fact that they’re criminals… nope, not stable either.

I just watch the most functional-romance incompatible television shows.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: 5 seasons that 2012 has in store for us

3 Jan

5. Justified season 3
Beginning January 17, we have the third season of Justified.  Thank goodness.  The teaser trailers have been remarkably unhelpful as far as actual plot, but wonderfully evocative even still.  Neal McDonough (Band of Brothers, Captain America), Mykelti Williamson (Forrest Gump, Lucky Number Slevin), and Carla Gugino (a large quantity of awesomeness, including many of my pet things: Sin City, Sucker Punch, Watchmen, that ridiculous one where she did porn) are all joining the cast.  I’m guessing the big bads will be to do with drugs and other such pesky problems; Harlan seems to have a lot of those problems.  Ava (Joelle Carter) was last seen in the company of the criminals; Winona (Natalie Zea) and Raylan (Timothy Olyphant) were last seen together; Boyd (Walton Goggins) is palling around (or something) in the ads with Raylan, so who knows what that‘s about.  It will be beautiful.

4. Sons of Anarchy season 5
Kurt Sutter says it better than I can, and this is all I know.  (Oh, my craycray Tara [Maggie Siff].  Oh, that whole mess.)

3. Game of Thrones season 2
Beginning in April.  If anyone wants the synopsis of the second book, upon which the second season would presumably be based on, here’s the Wikipedia page, although I’m not but skimming it (I do want to read the book once I’m done with the first, soon hopefully, and I want the show just to happen for me, but if anyone’s curious).  Here’s a teaser trailer.  I did see that we can brace ourselves for BABY DRAGONS (yes, I have to capslock it every time).  So hurrah.

2. True Blood season 5
Beginning in June.  Here’s some speculation.  I honestly don’t even remember this book that clearly, as a lot of them blended for me after the fourth one, but that’s a good bunch of theorizing.  I don’t really care, I’m just excited.

1. Mad Men season 5
Beginning March 16.  Oh god let it be here now.  I want to see if the Don (Jon Hamm) and Megan (Jessica Paré) thing is going to last or become a huge disaster.  I want to see if Greg (Sam Page) dies in Vietnam, because I’ve decided that, even barring the Joan (Christina Hendricks) and Roger (John Slattery) romantic drama, I want that to be another source of Joan and Don buddy times.  Because I think that Joan and Don have so much friendship potential, I friendship it so hard, and Don knows all about the horrors of war and he could talk her through it, because even if Greg is an ass, losing your husband always sucks, and she’ll be all distraught but she won’t be able to say anything because that’s not her way, but Don could just… know, because war sucks, and he could do that sweet thing where he’s talking to her like a human being and they just relate to each other and it’s nice and simple.  I just saw that there will be sixteen months between season four and season five, which means that Joanie’s baby will already be born.  I don’t even know what will be happening.  I just want it now.  This has been far too long of a wait.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: 2011 in television (3 finales, 3 characters, 3 moments of hilarity, 2 moments of shock)

27 Dec

Finales, all season, that were noteworthy.  Characters that elicited reactions from me.  Things that were awesome.  Things that made me make a good old fashioned :O face (one for a bad reason, one for a good reason).

3. Justified
The magic of the entire second season is how convoluted the relationships between the characters were while still maintaining a straightforward plot.  At the center of it is, of course, Timothy Olyphant’s Raylan, but he’s tangled up in the whole mess of Mags’ (Margo Martindale) family, the mess of the mining, the mess of Boyd (Walton Goggins) existing, the mess of Ava (Joelle Carter) getting tangled up with Boyd (it suits her more than being a lawman’s girl did), the mess of Winona (Natalie Zea) getting back with him and being pregnant and begging him to quit his job, the mess of Loretta (Kaitlyn Dever) in relation to the Bennett clan, all of it.  The finale episode managed to wrap it all up so nicely, but not neatly, not perfectly happy-ending, just… wrapped enough up to be satisfying, but still to leave room for more.  (Season three, January 17.)

2. Sons of Anarchy
I’d been expecting more death, but it surprisingly didn’t upset me that there wasn’t.  The thing about Sons is that it keeps you on such a highwire that you feel like at any moment something bad could happen.  Even if nothing bad does, it’s still tense enough to be interesting.  I’ll discuss the brilliance of Ray McKinnon in a moment, but even if rewriting the lyrics to “The House of the Rising Sun” to say “Charming town” instead of “New Orleans” was a little cheesy, the big images of the last montage are powerful.  The picture of JT and Gemma (Katey Sagal) back in the day, and then Gemma watching as Jax (Charlie Hunnam) hits the gavel and takes the club over as still-wounded and seriously craycray Tara (Maggie Siff) goes up behind him and mimics that picture perfectly.  This was a good year for Oedipal things to go on, to whatever extent, ’cause Gemma seriously does care too much about her son sometimes, but most importantly, craycray Tara.  I’ve always liked Tara, I have, but even though she is probably going off the deep end and is sinking deeper still into the life of crime, I think it’s kind of brilliant.  Not for Tara-the-person, but for Tara-the-character.  She kind of had crazy eyes the last few episodes of the season, perpetually, and it’s awesome.

1. True Blood

3. Sheriff Graham (Jamie Dornan, Once Upon a Time)
NOT because he was that important to me (though he did earn signs of my high praise: a nickname [Sheriff Vest] and a Buffy analogue [Angel, in the fairy tale scenes]).  But because, well, damn, ABC, you killed off an actual semi-main character right-quick.  You killed off a handsome male character at the hands of a manipulative lover woman.  Gutsy for you.  And you killed off a character that at least 1/5 of the threads I saw on the Once Upon a Time IMDB message board pertained to.  So someone that people liked.  Thank you.

2. Max Black (Kat Dennings, 2 Broke Girls)
Surprise, surprise.  I mean, I love Kat Dennings, I always love Kat Dennings, but I mostly give Max a pat on the back for getting to make really raunchy jokes on network TV and as a woman.  Usually women don’t get to make that many raunchy jokes, especially on network, and I’m pretty sure she’s referenced masturbation at least three times, which women never get to do (I make a mental note every time they do, because it’s that rare).  So, again, it’s a small thing, but she’s snarky as hell.  2 Broke Girls is really just a string of jokes for 22 minutes, but that Kat gets to make most of them and that most of the ones she makes are dirty… cool.

1. Lincoln Potter (Ray McKinnon, Sons of Anarchy)
Ray McKinnon is always quality.  He’s a member of the Deadwood mafia, and the good reverend was one of the most brilliant characters in that brilliant world, thanks in large part to him and his freaky awesome.  Lincoln Potter came to Charming as a U.S. Attorney hell-bent on getting the RIRA (real Irish Republican Army), the ROC (Russian organized crime), and the Sons.  But he’s just such a weirdo that everything he does, everything he says is brilliant.  In the finale, he bursts in on a city council meeting holding sex toys, including a pedophilic sex doll, to prove that Hale (Jeff Kober) is funding his development with really dirty sex money.  When asked why?  “I don’t like you.”  Just like that.  It’s the most perfect moment ever.

Moments of hilarity
3. Wheels only responding to Chinese swear words (United States of Tara)
It’s really unfortunate that Tara had to end, but though the entire season was great, the best moment of all was that which I’ve previously mentioned repeatedly: that Charmaine (Rosemarie Dewitt) and Neil’s (Patton Oswalt) baby only responds to “Wheels and Chinese swear words.”  Patton Oswalt (who’s guested on Dollhouse and wrote the Serenity comic “Float Out”) is such s raging Browncoat.  And it’s beautiful.

2. The simultaneously worst and best almost-sex of all time (on New Girl)
As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t think that Jess (Zooey Deschanel) is too precocious or weird or “quirky.”  She is weird, and she is awkward, but I… know people who would do any of the things that she’s done.  I don’t know that anyone I know would actually go through with the weird sex she attempted with Paul (Justin Long), but that’s what comedy is, right?  Exaggeration?  It’s ridiculous.  But it’s also a little amazing.  I mean, an old-fashioned newscaster spanking Jimmy Stewart?  That is all kinds of absurd brilliance, in a way that’s both cringeworthy and riotous.

1. Put a Bird On It (Portlandia)

Thank you, Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein.

Moments of shock
2. JIMMY SCREWED HIS MOM (Boardwalk Empire)
We were a bit late in watching the last two episodes of Boardwalk this season, but maybe that’s good.  Now even just mentions of what we were eating for dinner the night we watched it make us cringe and go “JIMMY SCREWED HIS MOM.”  Luckily, we didn’t have to watch Jimmy (Michael Pitt) and Gillian (Gretchen Mol) actually go at it, but he was on top of her and it was weird and then he was waking up naked in her bed.  No Jimmy no bad bad BAD.  Like I said, it’s an Oedipal year, apparently.

1. BABY DRAGONS (Game of Thrones)

And this is all that needs to be said.  I mean, it’s rad that Boardwalk and True Blood and Game of Thrones killed off main characters, but it’s HBO.  That stuff happens on HBO.  Not every day brings you BABY DRAGONS as Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) is all badass.

–your fangirl heroine.