Tag Archives: hayley kiyoko

Music Monday :: my thoughts on Expectations

2 Apr

It’s hard to believe this is actually Hayley Kiyoko’s first full album, but it is.

“Expectations (Overture).” The theatre nerd in me loves when normals start albums with overtures. It just… sets up a mood. It’s very good.

“Feelings.” I obviously heard this song the day the video came out months ago, but it’s just perfect. It’s literally a song, as drift partner puts it, about how happily gay Hayley Kiyoko is. It’s a happy song about being Sapphic, you guys. It’s a jaunty little tune about loving being a woman who loves women. The world needs Hayley Kiyoko and she is a gift and blessing. Also, this song is really catchy and really true: “I overcommunicate and feel too much, I just complicate it when I say too much” is basically the cliched rallying call of the Sapphic person, who are stereotypically very, well, full of feelings.

“What I Need.” Featuring someone called Kehlani. So far this is also catchy, but then Hayley is really good at catchy. This is about a different Sapphic trope: one partner is more committed to the relationship than the other, possibly because of the second person’s anxiety about being Sapphic, and the first partner just… well, would like the other to get with it. Offers sympathy, but there’s only so much they can do. Etc.

“Sleepover.” I’ve been listening to this song since its video was released even more months ago, and it’s… a third Sapphic trope. The girl who’s in love with her best friend but doesn’t have these feelings reciprocated. She just really wants what she wants, but she’d rather have what she has than nothing at all. Having literally been in this situation before myself, #relatable. This one is a slower jam, but it’s got a lot of soul and dynamic nonetheless.

“Mercy / Gatekeeper.” There’s a trancey vibe to this. “When the city sleeps” she sings, and indeed this song feels like that proverbial urban rumble that’s meant to always be happening lowkey in large cities. I feel like this is probably constantly going on in any large city at any given time of night, which… well, introspection is kind of another Sapphic trope, so. Then it segues neatly into something that feels more like the city when it’s awake, which makes perfect sense. “Nobody can poison my feelings if they’re never revealed.” Wow rude? “Don’t let me die with my soul in the air, don’t let me die when there’s nobody here” wowwwww rude.

“Under the Blue / Take Me In.” I’m kind of spacing out to this, it’s very dreamy, but I mean that in the best of ways. And then this one segues into something that’s much more of a jam, echoing earlier musical themes and lyrics! This is really a pretty masterful piece of work, Hayley.

“Curious.” And I’ve also been listening to this one a lot. It’s yet another Sapphic trope: the more committed partner being frustrated by the other one’s indecisive, well, what presents as bicuriosity of sorts. That’s why the title is so damn clever because Hayley is curious if her potential gf is up for it.

“xx.” An interlude! That’s fun.

“Wanna Be Missed.” This is just a song of longing. It’s overtly Sapphic but come on, we all know this feel!

“He’ll Never Love You (HNLY).” The frustrated Sapphic: frustrated with their object of desire’s frustration, the object of desire’s being interested but also stuck on a guy who, well. This is catchy as hell. Drift partner gave this a listen before I did and said there was one song that “is angry Skimmons/anti-FS-y.” I think I found the thing, I’m just saying.

“Palm Dreams.” This is just sort of cheery, even if it’s not entirely actually that. “California, just a bad dream, I will hang around until you want me.” That’s cute. Her music is really very West Coast. And this one segues into instrumental introspection too! That’s nice.

“Molecules.” Holy… shit… “Pale lies of my heart, everything got shattered in the dark. Tried to be evolved, does it really matter at all?” This one also has streaks of angry Skimmons. Angry because life is mean, fyi, not angry at each other. Angsty Skimmons, more like. Which… yeah. Also, it uses science words like “molecules”and “cells” which obviously tags it. Augh.

“Let It Be.” This one was prereleased a little while ago and therefore I’ve heard it before, but mm, it’s so good. And now in light of the track before this it’s a really nice balance. Counterpoint. Sometimes life is mean but look, here, come on, here I am, let’s be gay. “Can’t imitate us it’s breaking my bones, heart up in chaos that keeps me alone, wasted the beautiful all on my own, I’m making a new home.” Hayley is sometimes referred to as lesbian Jesus and, yes. Yes.

–your fangirl heroine.


Music Monday :: on Hayley Kiyoko live

13 Mar

We were not, as we somewhat feared, the oldest ones in the room at this show. (There were much older and much sketchier people there, who yelled things that you should not yell at anyone but especially not a 24-year-old who openly professes via song her interest in… not the people that were yelling.) That was nice. We were also nowhere near the most openly queer (a young girl standing in front of us was wrapped in a rainbow flag, and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t the only one; much like Tegan and Sara last fall, it was a great place to spot plaids and glasses and patches on jackets). We were just there, having a nice time, enjoying the delicious Sapphic joy. And not putting our hands in the air because that’s not something either of us do.

(I did sing along a couple of times, I’ll admit, when others were [although that was most of the concert let’s be real]; “Palace,” because it’s beautiful, and “Girls Like Girls” because well, that’s why we were all there, wasn’t it? But I didn’t sing loudly, because that’s scary and also because I know better now. A benefit of being in my sage mid-20s, I suppose.)

The opening act was perfectly… fine. For what they were. Flor, they were called. They were a band comprised of boys, and because I did not know their lyrics I spent most of their performance playing a game where I discreetly typed out the lyrics it sounded like they were singing to me. This is not an insult to anything but a reflection of the fact that I’m seriously used to theatre diction where you Can Hear All Of The Words Clearly. (See also: the great Taylor Hicks debacle.)

Oopsies hearts alone, is overgrown, I’m calling you home.

So nightly ghosts eat, so night night in yeah yeah… go nightly sure ghostly in my feet, in a nice whisper where you find me, hold on something is making me gun!

Set up the moons, my attention, new birds, new Maureen, vote freely, shout boy you’re early.

They covered the Adele song “Send My Love” and at one point I thought I heard “If you read if you’re ready kids door.”

Can’t take out my fire for from my heartbeat …….. this ain’t lovely Barnes shot me, how many times make myself over that’s who I long to rest to your shoulder, oh oh heartbeat testing on me.

Discussing your story, you can elope with your shoulder, over behind, oh bleeding, it’s the light …… on the other side treat me like paradise, far from a pretty cooler don’t care if you’re alright.

For the wide, stay with your under, connects, Aloysius, scratches, naturally seen the sun …… found a place tracer, going on stopping stones walls, it’s not hard, taint.”

And etcetera. This is a fun game and I think I will play it again.

Anyway. Hayley herself was absolutely lovely. There was something nice about knowing that she was almost definitely going to play all of my favs (since the girl has a total of twenty songs that can be found online, and I assumed she would favor her newer two EPs instead of the oldest one and the unreleased tracks) and that it would be an easily predictable length of concert. Nothing against when I go for the Decemberists or Eisley or M. Ward or something, but those guys have dozens of songs, so it’s more unpredictable. This was nice in that I knew exactly what we were getting ourselves into and it was exactly what it was.

It was a small venue, a club, a room in a bar; it was packed very tight (which some people in the audience could have stood to be more mindful of, but that’s always true of standing-room venues) and it was packed primarily with smol queer girlchildren exalting. I don’t think there was a single song it didn’t seem like at least part of everyone was singing along with, and that’s fun. Hayley certainly encouraged it and seemed adorably impressed with everyone’s level of enthusiasm and commitment.

Hayley Kiyoko is officially a delight as a person, too. She was telling cute stories about being smol and Sapphic and emotional and while I did not relate to everything directly it was refreshing and cute. Also, much like at Tegan and Sara, it was fun to watch presumably heterosexual men be uncomfortable about these little divergences. Also, she’s a giant nerd and dances, as I heard in advance via tumblr, exactly like she does in her videos: goofy and ridiculous.

Also! She did that thing that I love, where the singer jumps in on backup percussion. There was a machine she fiddled with in some songs and a drum pad kid she viciously attacked with green drumsticks during others and it was a joy to watch and god, I just love singers on backup percussion because they are always having fun. At the end she tossed her drumsticks into the crowd and I’m sure they made the smol queer girlchildren very happy.

And yes, re: the setlist: all of Citrine was played (started with “One Bad Night” since that was the name of the tour, started the encore with “Gravel to Tempo,” threw the others – and “Sleepover” in throughout) and most of This Side of Paradise (“Girls Like Girls” was the second part of the encore, and a truly triumphant moment) and I think just one or two off of A Belle to Remember (not the titular track, which is fine and well by me since I sort of got burned out on that particular track at my old retail job where it was in rotation). All of it gay and all of it delightful.

–your fangirl heroine.


Music Monday :: 2016 in music, part 2 (10 albums of the year)

3 Jan

Posted on a Tuesday because the holidays messed everyone up and also we’ve been moving house and deal with it.

10. Wild Things, Ladyhawke
Solid synth for the year.

9. case/lang/veirs, case/lang/veirs
This album was classic from the first time I heard it.

8. The Bride, Bat for Lashes
And this? This is the kind of epic creepiness and melancholia that we all need in our lives.

7. Jessica Rabbit, Sleigh Bells
On this album, Sleigh Bells gets a bit more lyrically cohesive than usual and to emotionally devastating effect while continuing to bring the electronoise delight.

6. Beyond the Bloodhounds, Adia Victoria
The perfect mix of twang and devastation and blues and gloriousness.

5. Citrine, Hayley Kiyoko
The only badness is that this is so short. Otherwise it’s perfect ladygay delight.

4. In Loving Memory Of When I Gave a Shit, Lolo
My beloved, darling, deep-voiced and furious and glorious princess.

3. Good Grief, Lucius
Ah these blessed weirdos. I adore them and everything they do.

2. I’m Alone, No You’re Not, Joseph
As mentioned on Saturday.

1. Love You To Death, Tegan and Sara
As also mentioned. Bless.

–your fangirl heroine.


Music Monday :: 2016 in music, part 1 (11 songs of the year)

26 Dec

11. “Mustang Kids,” Zella Day
So this is from last year, but I discovered it this year and this particular video came out this year so it sort of counts. Her whole vibe is very trancey and odd and I can’t tell, there might be Sapphic chicks in this music video. Maybe. Good enough for me.

10. “Milk and Cookies,” Melanie Martinez
This album also came out last year but the music video is really recent and it’s been in my heaviest rotation this year. I’ve spent weeks just driving around wailing along to this like an emo teenager, it’s great. I love the entire album (more on that next week) but I special-pick this song because it is explicitly about tweeishly murdering a sexual predator with cookies and the music video made that even more explicit.

9. “Supermoon,” Case Lang Veirs
Grindhouse Gothic perfection, of which there was plenty this year but this is exemplary.

8. “Holy,” Zolita
YouTube has started recommending me random pop music videos that are about Sapphic girls, and this one came up. It’s interesting, because it’s a good song but I don’t know if the song would have stuck with me as much as it has if it wasn’t such a gay video, but it’s the gayest video. There’s a lesbian cult at what seems to be a private school prelude to The Handmaid’s Tale.

7. “And Then You Die,” Adia Victoria
The vibe on this entire album is so intense. It’s worth many, many listens.

6. “Hatefuck,” Cruel Youth
Teddy Sinclair, once Natalia Kills, helms this project, and it’s glorious. It’s like a dirtier angrier version of the 1960s girl group songs I grew up hearing on the radio.

5. “Daughters,” Lissie
Because everyone needs a Wild West feminist ballad in their lives sometimes.

4. “Gone Insane,” Lucius
As I observed, this is a harmonious ballad about gaslighting and it’s brilliant. The music video is a little body-horror, though, so be careful friends.

3. “Sweet Dreams,” Joseph
I have basically been playing this album every time I’m not playing Cry-Baby in my car, and it’s brilliant and wonderful, but this track stands out as the most epic and glorious.

2. “Gravel to Tempo,” Hayley Kiyoko
Because lesbians. It’s a great song, but let’s be real, it’s important as it is because lesbians.

1. “Dying to Know,” Tegan and Sara
For you, love.

–your fangirl heroine.


Music Monday :: my thoughts on Citrine

7 Nov

So okay, it’s been a few weeks since this  came out, but it’s been some busy Mondays.

“Gravel to Tempo.” As before, beautiful and luscious. “Thinking I’m a monster in disguise.” Someone attributed this to Daisy Johnson on a gifset and is there anything more perfect right now? Also the meta upon meta from tomboy-butch queer girls about the music video, which I don’t exactly relate to being femme as fuck but which I appreciate wholly.

“Ease My Mind.” This is downright funky. I don’t know. Hayley Kiyoko just makes me really happy. It’s not always entirely perky stuff but I just have such a nice feeling about it.

“Pretty Girl.” Obviously, this song is so outrageously gay. It’s really interesting, because from a boy this could be weird, overbearing and sketch, really posturing, maybe because we know better than to expect most boy singers are that earnest, but Hayley Kiyoko is so self-effacing and Sapphic and wonderful so it’s really cute! Also, c’mon we all know this feel.

“One Bad Night.” So I’m just going to put this here. “We play with fire, these yellow marks get glowing, ember on the wire, I’m burning with you on this black tar road, when it feels this good, you don’t let go.” Yes good.

“Palace.” Yes, I’d like to be inside this. “So this is where I leave you” this is yes. This is glorious and “on a bed of roses” makes me think of Margaery, of course it does, and Margaery also likes girls and that’s wistful and boy, it’s so nice Margaery kisses girls and is definitely not dead. That is a rousing tune, Hayley Kiyoko. A+.

–your fangirl heroine.


Music Monday :: traversing through singles released recently on Spotify

8 Aug

The theme here is… ladies. Cool.

“Cool Girl” by Tove Lo.  She just rhymed platonic and ironic. I like this. “Ice cold, I roll my eyes at you, boy.” I appreciate this sentiment.

“Carry On” by Norah Jones. I’ve always been peripherally aware of her but I’ve never really listened that intently to her. Regardless, I find this very pleasant.

“SOS (Overboard)” by Joseph. This is really three girls and I clicked on it at random but there’s guitar and I’m feeling… this feels familiar? Wow it started really like, folk and then the chorus got all cute and harmonic and nice in a whole other way.

“Something About You” by Taylor Buono. This is poppy and breathy but not bad. Not my number one of things, but it’s got its merit!

“Gemini Feed” by Banks. “You’re passive-aggressive, hey” I just… I groove on Banks’ weird like, sort of dark tone.

“Gravel to Tempo” by Hayley Kiyoko. Well, this has been all over my tumblr dash the last couple of days, so I’ve already heard it. I’m just here to revel in this beautiful sapphic gloriousness. We love you girl.

“New Song” by Warpaint. I zoned out to these guys during one of my part-time jobs last year, the memories are fond. It’s girly technopunk and I like it. Also, “wash away the rain” that’s a nice thought. Ooh this is groooovy.

–your fangirl heroine.


Marvel Monday :: 33 Reasons [a Kara Lynn Palamas fanmix]

4 Jan



1. Numb (Oh Land)
She got a local anesthetic and the light fainted, she heard the siren calls from the shadowy side.  She built a house in the darkness as the light fainted In an open country and her heart was numb.

2. Silent My Song (Lykke Li)
And you seek pain like it is pleasure, like a work of art.  When I’m your painting, I’m your treasure, purest of them all.  And call it love or call it murder, kill me quietly.  Close the door and take it further, where no man has been.

3. Beautiful Monster (Sky-Pony)
If you hurt me, I will hurt you even more to show you how strong I feel.  If you desert me, I will cut you to the core ’cause baby my love is real for you, it’s true.  I am your beautiful monster, boy, build me a dollhouse and I’ll be your toy.

4. Mrs. Potato Head (Melanie Martinez)
Does a new face come with a warranty?  Will a pretty face make it better?

5. Painted (MS MR)
Monday is January, Friday is December; the calendar means nothing, when you can’t remember who you are, who you are, losing hope, not sure what to believe, if the lost ever knew broke where you’ve been.  It’s getting old loving everyone else, more than you love yourself.

6. Control (Halsey)
I’m well acquainted with villains that live in my bed. They beg me to write them so they’ll never die when I’m dead.  And I’ve grown familiar with villains that live in my headThey beg me to write them so I’ll never die when I’m dead.

7. Hunting Man (Hayley Kiyoko)
Oh I know I was blind ‘cause I made you mine, stop wanting me, stop wanting me for favorsAnd oh-oh we don’t talk and no-oh you can not play me all you want, I’m no game.

8. Bury It (CHVRCHES)
Reaching, reaching for, reaching for my resistance.  Nobody, nobody, nobody sees it at a distance.  And I am catchin’ up and I am seein’ red, how about I throw my way and raise it overhead?

9. No One Can Save You (Elle King)
And I try to build you up but you just fall, you just fall, and I can’t save you no more, no I can’t save you from yourself, no one can save you, no one can save you from yourself.

10. Chewing Gum (Bitter Ruin)
There’s a little piece of you tangled in my hair.  Get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out, I don’t want it there.  There’s a little piece of you clawing at my ribcage.  Let it out, let it out, let it out, let it out, let it out, it needs to be saved.  Hell no.  Mother you’re wrong, that fucker’s not gone.

11. Scab and Plaster (Marina and the Diamonds)
I’ve lost, I’ve lost my confidence, I found my self-belief and in a cup of loneliness I sailed a thousand seas.  You tell me what to say and wear, you say that it’s because you careBut I prefer to be alone than live a life that’s not my own.

12. Scream My Name (Tove Lo)
Love it when I’m play pretending, when I can take bullets to the heart, fucking up my happy ending, but I can take bullets to the heart.

13. Synthetica (Metric)
We’re all the time confined to fit the mold but I won’t ever let them make a loser of my soul.  Hey, I’m not Synthetica, oh, I’ll keep the life that I’ve got, oh.

33 Reasons at 8tracks.

–your fangirl heroine.