Search results for 'firefly'

Television Tuesday :: two Firefly shots because sure

9 Aug


1/2 strawberry pucker
1/2 cake vodka

Not actually as sweet as it sounds, but pretty to-the-point.


Heart of Gold
1/2 orange curacao
1/2 caramel vodka

Sweeter and very warm.

–your fangirl heroine.


Whedon Wednesday :: color theory as it applies to a few Firefly cast promotional photographs

27 Mar

I was thinking about who else of Firefly I could analyze the wardrobes of, but it occurred to me that besides Inara and Simon, the rest have a very “put on clothes and go” approach, it seems.  They all repeat outfits (not that Inara and Simon don’t, but it happens less; also, their clothes are overall fancier and fancy clothes are sometimes more easily analyzable) but many of them are variants on a theme.  Which is telling for their characters, yes, but then I got thinking: color.  Sartorial analyses have gotten me rather interested in color theory, at least as it applies to fiction, and while most of the characters on Firefly have their colors, sometimes these overlap, so I thought it would be fun to see what might be taken from the way colors are arranged together.

firefly cast photo

This photo, while posed as a promo, is just taken from the first episode, but nonetheless.

Jayne (Adam Baldwin): all khakis and camouflage.  Color Wheel Pro offers no specific analysis of khaki or tan, but brown “denotes masculine qualities,” and Jayne is definitely the most aggressively masculine on the crew; dull yellow is for “caution, decay, sickness, and jealousy,” and call me crazy but I’d say that Jayne’s presence definitely threatens those things, as per

Mal: But he did try to get you to turn on me?
Jayne: Yeah.
Mal: So, why didn’t you?
Jayne: [smiling] Money wasn’t good enough.
Mal: What happens when it is?
Jayne: Well, that’ll be an interesting day.

and dark green is for “ambition, greed, and jealousy,” which also goes with the above.
Inara (Morena Baccarin): purple and gold.  I’d say the most applicable meaning of purple here would be “purple is associated with royalty. It symbolizes power, nobility, luxury, and ambition. It conveys wealth and extravagance.”  She is the glamorous one by far.
Kaylee (Jewel Staite): her good old olive green coveralls (“olive green is the traditional color of peace,” which is the most appropriate) and that cute aqua jacket (“aqua is associated with emotional healing and protection,” and while Kaylee gets hurt in this episode, she is not wearing this jacket then; she wears this jacket as she invites Simon [and River] and Book on board, thus spurring their emotional healing and protection).
Mal (Nathan Fillion): brown, brown, brown everywhere.  “Stability,” yes, “masculine qualities,” yeah.  Also, dark red stands for, among other things, “willpower… anger, leadership, courage, longing,” all of which are definitely Mal to some degree.
Wash (Alan Tudyk): coveralls, too, though his are orangeish; Wash, the highly capable goofball, is the (sometimes-)enthusiasm of orange especially.
Zoe (Gina Torres): brown and blue.  Brown is masculine, and Zoe partakes in a lot of traditionally “masculine” pursuits, but never sacrifices any of the rest of her for it.  Dark blue throws some necessary seriousness in the mix, as well as power and integrity.
Simon (Sean Maher): dark blue also means knowledge, which is kind of Simon’s thing, at least as far as book knowledge goes.  This is matched with the very clean, very proper white.
Book (Ron Glass): black for mystery and gray for safety.
River (Summer Glau): yellow.  Yellow for intelligence (which she has in abundance, despite tampering) with just a slight undertone of that “caution, decay, sickness” found in dull yellows because she’s a treasure, but her presence doesn’t make anything easier, no.

firefly cast promo

Jayne: green, both darker and grayish; darker for money, obvious as that seems, and for neutrality (since his wardrobe tends to be camouflage, which is pretty obvious in its meaning).
River: purple, which for her is “wisdom… mystery, and magic.”  River is the series’ great (solved) mystery, and though her abilities are inherent aided by science, they can seem a bit magic, yes.
Simon: yellow for intelligence, white for cleanliness.
Mal: see what I mean about repetition?  Everything this man wears is brown or variants thereof.  Stability indeed.
Inara: black for elegance and mystery with hints of pinkish-red for romance and desire.
Zoe: that same brown with green for “stability and endurance.”
Wash: also brown coveralls, this time with a light blue shirt for “tranquility, understanding, and softness” since yes, he is the more generally soft side of the Zoe-and-Wash relationship.
Kaylee: that same peaceful oliveish green with a nice helpful dose of pink for “love, and friendship… feminine qualities and passiveness,” though I’d argue that Kaylee’s passiveness is not of the negatively-connotative kind but rather just the opposite-of-aggressiveness kind.
Book: still with wise, safe gray.

firefly cast promo

Inara: golden-orange, for heat and fascination and prestige.
River: red and gold.  River is definitely the more violent side of red, as opposed to the desirous side, and gold here for wisdom.
Wash: just some also-peaceful olive green coveralls and a shirt that’s barely visible.  Poor Wash, always in the background of cast promos.
Simon: dark red, red-orange; the willpower and courage it took to get River safe, the thirst for action it takes to keep her that way.Kaylee: basically the same as in the above promo, though the flowers on her shirt seem to be orange (joy and liveliness) instead of purple (romance and femininity).
Mal: here, more golden-brown paired with gray-blue.  His color scheme is really very autumnal and manly.
Book: yep, still gray.
Jayne: yep, still neutral greens/yellow-browns.
Zoe: green and brown, as above.

–your fangirl heroine.

idiotic notion dispelled

Whedon Wednesday :: syntax and semantics with help from Firefly!

29 Feb

I say “with help from” because really, this is just me studying for a linguistics test by shamelessly replacing the sentences in my textbook (Language Its Structure and Use by Edward Finnegan, sixth edition) with ones that refer to events on Firefly.  Because I study best by applying the concepts to things I give a damn about.  (I enjoy linguistics, but I don’t care about the runner from Butte winning a prize at the fair.)  Also, I think it’s somewhat humorous to use Firefly, which is so grammatically… whimsical, let’s say, to discuss grammatical concepts.

This is not every concept, obviously, but here are some selections from chapters five and six of that textbook.

  • Noun phrases are phrases that involve nouns, that could be substituted by other nouns like “it,” “they,” “he,” or “she.”  They can be as involved as you want.
    Ex. the captain with tight pants.
  • Verb phrases are phrases that involve verbs, that could be substituted by other verb phrases.
    Ex. punched the douchenozzle.

  • A sentence’s subject “is defined as the NP that is immediately dominated by S.”
    Ex. River.
    A sentence’s predicate modifies the subject.
    A direct object “is defined as an NP that is immediately dominated by the VP.”
    Ex. the gun.
    An indirect object is, well, that.
    Ex. a lackey.
    An oblique “is the term for NPs that are not subject, object, or indirect object; in English, an oblique is realized as the object of a preposition.”
    Ex. a rifle.

River (sub.) shot (predicate) the gun (direct object) at a lackey (indirect object) who held a rifle.

  • Recursion is “the ability of a sentence to incorporate another sentence that in turn could incorporate still another one, and so on.”  Use of complementizers.
    Ex. The fluffy dress was in the window.
    Mal bought Kaylee the fluffy dress.

    Mal bought Kaylee the fluffy dress that was in the window.

  • Structural ambiguity is when “the linear string [of words] has two possible internal organizations – and therefore two readings or interpretations.”
    Ex. Jayne sexed [a whore at Nandi’s.] 
    Jayne sexed [a whore] [at Nandi’s.]

Jayne sexed one of the whores in Nandi’s employ in the first sentence; Jayne sexed a whore inside Nandi’s building in the second.  (In this case, they’re both true, but they technically mean different things.)

  • Surface structures are “constituent structures within the linear string of words in a sentence.”  Underlying structures are then how we account for implicit knowledge.
    Ex. Mal kissed Saffron, but Wash didn’t.

We can assume in this case that didn’t means didn’t kiss Saffron, but that’s the underlying structure.  We assume it, and that’s proof of our grammatical competence.

  • Yes/no questions “can be answered with a reply of yes or no” and apply to some sentences.
    Ex. Shepherd Book had Alliance ties.
    Did Shepherd Book have Alliance ties?

  • Information questions can also be applied and can be answered with a WH-word.
    Ex. Inara is entertaining a lady client.
    Inara is entertaining who?

  • Referential meaning is a type of linguistic meaning.
    Ex. Simon Tam, Simon’s medical kit.

The referential meaning of Simon Tam is the person who goes by that name.  The phrase Simon’s medical kit refers to the medical supply bag belonging to Simon.  This can be said to be the referential meaning of the linguistic expression Simon’s medical kit, and the medical kit that is identified is its referent.  This is only an efficient tool for recognizing things sometimes.


  • Hyponymy: compression coil, catalyzer, and enhanced graviton accelerator core are all hyponyms of engine parts.
  • Meronymy (part/whole): Londinium, Sihnon, Ariel, and Osiris are all part of the whole that is Core planets.
  • Synonymy: sexing someone (or getting sexed), being with someone, and rutting are all ways of describing having sexual relations, but differ in social and affective meaning.
  • Antonymy: Independent/Alliance are here antonyms, as are immoral/moral.  The latter is a gradable pair, because the words have superlative and comparative forms; petty thieving is more immoral than earning money honestly, but more moral than essentially killing an entire planet; the former is nongradable.  One cannot be the other.
  • Converseness: if Wash is the husband of Zoe, then Zoe is the wife of Wash.  Wife is the converse of husband.
  • Polysemy: the word shiny can have several related meanings, including bright, glossy, lustrous, silken (all standard English) and good, favorable (‘Verse slang), and the word companion can have several related meanings, including friend, associate, helper (all standard English) and fancy, refined sex worker [somewhat like a geisha] (‘Verse slang).
  • Metaphors: I am a leaf on the wind.


  • Personal: I will not be servicing any of your crew.
  • Spatial: He tried to sell Mal this ship, but Mal was interested in that one.
  • Temporal: Goin’ on a year now, I ain’t had nothin’ ‘twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries.


  • Agent: The operative killed Mr. Universe.
  • Patient: Mr. Universe was killed.
  • Instrument: Mr. Universe was killed with a sword.
  • Cause: The cloud shielded the Reavers from view.
  • Experiencer: Mal heard Mr. Universe’s transmission.
  • Benefactive: River killed the Reavers for her injured crew.
  • Recipient: The ‘Verse saw Dr. Caron’s transmission on the cortex.
  • Locative: Mr. Universe’s moon was the location of a bloody battle.
  • Temporal: Mr. Universe was killed before the crew arrived.

…yes.  Best as I can gather from my book, that’s that.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whedon Wednesday :: the perfection of Fireflyverse platonic friendships

28 Dec

Because I… probably spent a large portion of Christmas weekend watching Serenity and a Firefly marathon on television, I figured it was a good time to bring this up.  One of my many favorite things about the whole series-and-film-and-everything is the friendly relationships between the characters.  I mean, the romances and implied romances and fan-ships are nice and good, but friendships… I’m fond.  Some of them, like Mal and Zoe or Kaylee and Inara, are pretty overt.  Others of them are much more background and to be noticed and analyzed upon repeated viewings.  So.  Let’s analyze some friendships, with a healthy dose of headcanon, yes?  (And yes.  There is a reason that I have this tumblr tag: #actually kaylee is best friends with everyone.  Because she is.)

Mal (Nathan Fillion) + Zoe (Gina Torres)

These two are old war friends.  I assume they didn’t know each other before the war or anything (Mal grew up on a ranch, and the Firefly wiki says that Zoe was “born Vesselside”) but through their experiences in the trenches and all, they became close.  And though Zoe’s deference towards Mal is still pretty military, “sir” and all, their friendship is fairly equal.  He turns to her for advice.  And, despite what the others may infer and what Wash is fearful of, their relationship is strictly platonic and always has been.  That is possible.  They respect each other, they’d do just about anything for each other.

Mal + Kaylee (Jewel Staite)

Kaylee is the youngest on the crew before the Tams arrive, that’s pretty obvious.  And even if technically she wasn’t, the nature of her personality does make her sort of fall into the role of everyone’s mèimei, but it’s truest with her and Mal.  Their first real interaction in the first episode involves her ineffable cheer and Mal’s acknowledgement thereof; it’s lighthearted.  It’s sweet.  You can tell he’s sad when bad things happen to her, and she’s determined to make things work, in part for him.  Because even if he did meet her mid-her sex adventure, she’s a little sister to him, and she always will be.  In “Objects in Space,” when she’s explaining her gunfails in “War Stories,” Mal’s quick to assure her that he’s perfectly fine with her not actually shooting anyone.  He doesn’t want her to get any more caught up in the violence than she has to be.  Another cuteness, during “Our Mrs. Reynolds,” involves Kaylee being clearly cranky after having to fix up Saffron’s (Christina Hendricks) mess of the controls, and he makes a point of telling her, again, that it’s okay.  That she’s still doing the best she can, and her best is better than everyone else’s.

Mal + Shepherd Book (Ron Glass)

Theirs is a friendship that doesn’t make sense, quite.  They have differences because Mal is adamantly anti-faith, and Book is obviously pro-faith; Mal feels strange about his work in the eyes of a shepherd sometimes, Book is keeping secrets galore.  But they do respect each other, even when they argue and poke fun and are generally at odds.

Kaylee + Inara (Morena Baccarin)

What is discussed here.

Kaylee + Wash (Alan Tudyk)

We do get the occasional Kaylee and Wash interaction inseries, but I… have for sure built it up in my head.  The only romance possible is in that really theoretical “I’m your friend, so I can see how it would make sense, but no” way:

Kaylee: Everyone’s got somebody. Wash, tell me I’m pretty.
Wash: Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: ‘Cause I’m pretty?
Wash: ‘Cause you’re pretty.

These two are just… best best friends.  It’s not really the same little sister thing that Kaylee has with the rest, it’s more my favorite thing of kindred spirits.  They’re closest to speaking each other’s language out of anyone on the crew, and I am convinced that I’d adore just listening to and watching them technobabble for hours (I tend to be a fan of that).  They’re friendly friends who can banter and snark and giggle and swap awesome thoughts and facts.

Kaylee + Jayne (Adam Baldwin)

I know that Kaylee and Jayne are a favorite fan-ship, and I don’t deny that there are moments that might imply that Jayne has a little crush on her.  Being a big, big supporter of the canonical Kaylee/Simon, I can’t really get on the other ship much, but I can speak for the Kaylee and Jayne friendship.  It’s that same sort of big brother/little sister feeling, but while Mal is the protective sweet-but-only-to-you big brother, Jayne is the protective yet always joking about every single thing big brother.  And Kaylee can take the teasing like a champ.  They’re pleasant with each other, I’m sure they’ve gotten drunk with each other more than once just for the hell of it, there’s more banter, it’s nice.

Kaylee + River (Summer Glau)

It’s really the only time that Kaylee gets to be big sister instead of little, and I’m sure she appreciates that, but – despite the fact that River freaks her out sometimes – she genuinely does like the other girl, I think.  Kaylee’s a see-the-good-in-everyone type, and even the being freaked out only lasts so long, because she’s determined to think the best of people.  She genuinely feels bad for River’s situation, and she genuinely does want to befriend her.  River, for her part, probably appreciates that Kaylee doesn’t always think she’s insane.  (That can for sure matter.)  She gives River a chance to actually be her age.

Inara + River

It’s like the sister who’s so much older and more worldly that she practically mothers the littler one, in a lot of ways.  Since Inara isn’t involved in a lot of the crew’s adventures directly, she often winds up taking care of River.  She can offer River a place to just relax, she can give as much comfort as she’s able.  And since Inara does know a bit about psychological things, she can try to understand River better than many of the others.  Not that she ever talks it through, but even the comforting could be construed, if you’re me and read too much into things, as being a bit more direct.

Inara + Simon (Sean Maher)

Inara and Simon are both, in their own ways, outsiders in this world.  They’re both from Core planets, ones more refined and structured; they’re both unused to the life of crime.  Neither of them quite fits in with the crew: they’re too fancy, too proper.  Inara’s got her Companion training, Simon has his medical training, they’re both running from things.  Because of these similarities, the two of them have a certain bond.  Simon appreciates that Inara has a way with River.  Inara, in her understanding-psychology-of-everyone-not-herself-or-Mal way, can try to understand what Simon’s going through much more than anyone else can.  They offer each other a certain manner of respect and camaraderie.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whedon Wednesday :: sexuality and Firefly

30 Jun

One of my very favorite things about Joss Whedon is that his works deal with human relationships in a way that a lot of media doesn’t.  I’m not saying this necessarily to criticize other media, but he’s way the hell more daring than a lot of, for example, network TV shows are when it comes to issues of interpersonal things.  Unsurprisingly, one of the most obvious interpersonal things he handles so damn well is sexuality.  It’s not really the (I hate to use the term cookie cutter, but cookie cutter) kind of sexuality you see on a lot of television.  The relationships have more depth than that, and the handling of sexuality as an abstract concept is refreshing.

So tonight, I dissect Firefly and sexuality.  Point by point, ish.

The idea of a Companion owes a great deal to the old tradition of geishas in Japanese society and other such things.  The notion that it’s as much about culture and refinement as it is about sex.  But the idea that a Companion chooses her own clients, well, that’s… kinda revolutionary.  In most media and probably in real life, you have the notion that a whore (which a Companion is not, but) just sort of screws anyone who’s paying.  Whether the person paying is good, bad, abusive, cruel, creepy, kinky, whatever, the idea that well, they’re paying, so she’ll have to go with them, is prevalent.  As is the notion that if they’re getting paid, the whore doesn’t have much a right to complain.  Well.  The existence of Companions pretty much slaps that in the face.  Sure, they’re being paid for sex, but if someone’s sketchy or mean or crass or just not to their liking, they don’t have to set up the appointment.  They still get to make their own choices, and they aren’t run by a pimp figure or some such.  Sure, the Companion’s Guild can gēn hóu zǐ bi diushi, but not because of the way that it abuses its power over the women.

Inara (Morena Baccarin) and sex philosophy.
As a Companion, Inara does in fact get paid for sex.  But as she makes abundantly clear on many fronts, she does choose the clients, and the point she makes in “Jaynestown” about how she came for Fess (Zachary Kranzler) but if his father the magistrate (Gregory Itzin) had asked her to come for himself, she’d have turned it down, is interesting.  She may be getting paid for sex, but she’s still looking for some sort of spiritual… well, perhaps not compatibility, but tolerability, I suppose, in the people she has sex with.  Though the points she makes about sexuality throughout the series and film are fascinating, I actually think “Jaynestown” is one of the most telling episodes in regards to the wisdom she brings to the metaphorical table.  I almost shrieked with relieved happiness the first time I watched the episode and she said to Fess, “It’s not embarrassing to be a virgin. It’s simply one state of being.”  I’m not saying we should all be virgins.  I’m not passing judgment on sexuality.  But at the same time, I feel like in the media, you get two very polar opinions about virginity: either I AM BEING PURE AND HOLY (which is plenty good for you, but) or I AM SO ASHAMED I AM GOING TO LIE ABOUT MY VIRGINITY AND TRY TO LOSE IT ASAP.  And that one bothers me.  I think it’s sort of amazing that Inara, of all people, is the one to point out that sex, while very nice at times, is not the end-all be-all.

Oh bi the way.
Inara also does something that is honestly exceptionally rare for television.  Though she primarily takes male clients, she does take female clients as well, as seen in “War Stories” with the Councillor (Katherine Kendall).  This is not an I kissed a girl kind of thing.  This is clearly something that Inara has chosen to do not for shock value but for that sense of kindred-spirit-ness, and she is very open about it.  “If I choose a woman, she tends to be extraordinary in some way. And, the fact is, I occasionally have the exact same need you do. One cannot always be oneself in the company of men,” she states.  Her attitude towards bisexuality is remarkably healthy.  Very often in television or film or really any media, if a character is gay there has to be the Big Discussion About Gayness.  And seeing a character who is legitimately not at one end of the Kinsey scale or the other, not just getting with their own gender to be shocking or getting with the opposite to hide things, is even rarer than a lack of that Big Discussion.  As can be said for her attitude towards virginity, Inara’s attitude towards bisexuality is refreshing.

Wash (Alan Tudyk) and Zoe (Gina Torres).  The discussions with/about Mal (Nathan Fillion).
I did my big happy rant on Wash and Zoe’s marriage already, but I’m going to take this time to discuss the interesting not-quite-triangle, also during “War Stories.”  This is not the only time we see Wash’s discomfort with Zoe’s role on the ship, or Zoe’s discomfort with Wash’s perception of her femininity, but it is the most significant; Wash’s apparent jealous feelings regarding Zoe and Mal’s relationship and the nature thereof come to the forefront, and in this, the characters all deal with this situation.  Wash feels Zoe is too loyal to Mal (“no, what this marriage needs is one less husband”) and speculates about whether or not they had a sexual relationship during the War.  When Wash acts out and insists on taking Zoe’s role on their mission and he and Mal are kidnapped, we see, too, the conversation between Wash and Mal on the subject.  Wash idly says that he almost wishes Mal had slept with Zoe, to get it out of both of their systems (an interesting notion, though not necessarily based in fact — torture can make people say funny things).  But later, when Mal (jokingly) declares his intention to act on Wash’s torture-induced suggestion, he and Zoe are just so damn awkward with each other about it, which proves that, yes, a man and a woman can have a close, loyal friendship that goes back many years without there being an ounce of sexuality to it (a rare concept of itself).  And then Wash pulls Zoe off, because they’ll be in their bunk.

Actually, Zoe and Wash just have a healthy sex life, period.
I mentioned this last week, but it deserves to be said again.  They’re not sex-crazed, they’re not I AM ONLY HAVING SEX BECAUSE I HAVE TO, they’re just… in love.  They’re very much in love, and aside from the instances in “War Stories” their marriage is stable, and that’s rare enough in media as well.  And it’s nice.

You know who else has a healthy attitude about sex?  Kaylee (Jewel Staite).
Her introduction to the ship, as seen in flashback in “Out of Gas,” was sexing the original mechanic Bester (Dax Griffin).  But even when they’re caught by Mal, her reaction isn’t shame.  Maybe a little well, this is kinda awkward, and she turns around to pull her dress back on, but she’s perfectly open about what they’ve been doing (“I seen the trouble plain as day when I was down there on my back before,” she says cheerily, in regards to the engine).  She’s not too bothered by it.  Sex is just a part of life, after all.  (Also notable is Mal’s willingness to look past her sexual behavior and to the brilliance she has towards machines; not entirely unusual, but it’s certainly refreshing that he didn’t just go okay, out, now, too.)  And let’s just take a moment to talk about one of the single funniest lines in Serenity, shall we?  Lamenting her lack of sexual experience with Simon (Sean Maher), Kaylee sighs, “Goin’ on a year now, I ain’t had nothin’ ‘twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries!”  Now, references to female masturbation aren’t unheard of in fiction, but they’re certainly rare.  And more often than not, it’s something the woman does but isn’t about to talk about, especially in the company of men.  But Kaylee, Kaylee’s just going to put it all out there.  She doesn’t need to lie about it or be coy, it’s just a fact of life.  It’s just the way it is.  Later yet in the film, when Simon confesses mid-pre-battle that he’s “always regretted… not being with you” to Kaylee, she’s quick to exclaim, “With me?  You mean to say… as in sex?”  While some women might be, again, coy about it, Kaylee’s straightforward.  And there’s no shame or hesitance when, upon confirmation of this, she declares, “Hell with this.  I’m gonna live.”  This, too, allows them to be just about one of the only Whedon couples with a happy ending, when we see them at the film’s end, and they’re, yes, having sex in the engine room.  There’s no pretense, just refreshing honesty.

Speaking of that sex in the engine room, let’s talk about River (Summer Glau) and voyeurism a minute.
I’m not advocating voyeurism by any means.  But during two separate instances (“Objects in Space,” with Wash and Zoe, and the end of Serenity during the engine room sex) do we see River spying on trysts amongst the crew.  Yes, it’s a little bit of a crazy creeper thing to do, especially the engine room bit; during “Objects in Space,” we get the feeling she’s stumbled on it and isn’t entirely comfortable, but her observing Simon and Kaylee is very clearly intentional.  But it’s good for a giggle, and it brings up an interesting point.  While River may not be having any sex herself, she’s gonna be curious.  She’s a seventeen year old girl, she has a right to be.  And it’s not exactly appropriate to be curious in such a fashion, but when you can read minds, there has to be a little leeway, doesn’t there?  Babygirl’s just trying to figure it out.  While she could definitely find a better way to do so, curiosity is healthy, too.

Jayne (Adam Baldwin) screws whores.  A lot.  Whoo.
Well, he does.  But despite the fact that he’s crass and not really that nice of a fellow, he’s not a bastard to the whores he’s screwing, at least?

YoSaffBridge (Christina Hendricks) uses sex as a weapon.  A lot.  Whoo.
Also worthy of noting.  It’s not like this is particularly rare or unseen in fiction, but it’s still interesting to observe.  Especially regarding Durran Haymer (Dwier Brown) and the possible regret she may have towards weaponizing her sexuality with him.

The Heart of Gold.
Inara’s old friend Nandi (Melinda Clarke) left the Companion’s Guild years ago.  And again, this was not because of it being a bad situation in that way, but she just didn’t care for the lifestyle.  Of course, she didn’t much care for the life out on the border, either.  Upon reaching the moon (of Deadwood, I note with a giggle) she learned that the Heart of Gold, the available whorehouse, “was a dungheap.  Run by a pig who had half the girls strung out on drops.  There’s no Guild out here; they let the men run the houses, and they don’t ask for references.  We didn’t get along.”  So even though she left the Guild, she still wasn’t about to let her girls (or boys, as Kaylee observes; “isn’t that thoughtful?”) get bossed around and abused, by pimps or by clients.  It’s interesting to observe the one interaction in the series that is so completely Standard Fictional Whore Lore, between Rance Burgess (Fredric Lehne) and Chari (Kimberly McCullough) — though he’s planning on taking the child that’s thanks to his sperm from Petaline (Tracy Ryan), another of the whores, he still insists that Chari, who has been spying for him, give him oral sex in front of his angry mob because “Chari here, she understands a whore’s place, don’t she?” and because he wants to “remember, right here and now, what a woman is to a man.”  The only Standard Fictional Whore Lore instance in the series is perpetrated by an obvious villain, and clearly shown as Not Good Behavior.  And that Nandi is willing to insist that the baby is Petaline’s and stand by that conviction, not allowing Burgess to go all male-dominance?  Well, it’s not entirely surprising.  But it’s still pretty awesome.

Finally, let’s talk about Mal and Inara and sex.
They never actually have sex.  As much as everyone may want them to.  I mean, we can all hope that when Mal asks her if she’s going to leave at the end of Serenity and she says “I… don’t know,” that’s really code for and then a respectable amount of time passed, and they finally had sex, but we’ll never know that for sure.  (GORRAM YOU TO HELL FOX ET AL.)  What can be finitely observed, though, is Mal’s attitude towards Inara’s profession.  It’s a recurring theme, and presumably one of the things keeping them apart.  But (though Mal is clearly a bit prudish about it, and Inara does make fun of him for it in her polite way) the most telling thing is the dialogue they exchange during “Shindig.”

Inara: “You have a strange sense of nobility, Captain.  You’ll lay a man out for implying I’m a whore, but you keep calling me one to my face.”
Mal: “I might not show respect to your job, but he didn’t respect you.  That’s the difference.  Inara, he doesn’t even see you.”

Mal doesn’t feel there’s anything wrong with calling Inara a whore all the gorram time, but at the end of the day, it’s her and not her profession that he’s concerned with.  In his eyes, Atherton Wing (Edward Atterton) wasn’t treating Inara like a person, he was treating her like an object or some such, and that’s where he has difficulties.  Mal’s the type to treat things he’s not entirely comfortable with flippantly, but when he cares about someone, he cares about someone, and he clearly cares for Inara.  Even though this (sadly) is never manifested in an actual confirmed relationship, this is evidenced in the way he defends her to others.  And that’s sort of beautiful, in a sad angst-inducing unfulfilled fantasies kind of way.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whedon Wednesday :: Top 10 Firefly moments that kick my heart in the ass every gorram time

21 Apr

In honor of the rewatch I am doing every Sunday night on the Science Channel.  Also, spoiler alert.

10. That Time Jayne Actually Had A Heart Sorta (“Jaynestown,” 1×07)
The end of the episode, the dialogue between Jayne (Adam Baldwin) and Mal (Nathan Fillion) wherein Jayne feels bad about the people on Canton worshipping him and stuff.  Where he’s actually got a tiny bit of a heart and I almost don’t wanna punch him for being a stupidface.  A funny amusing stupidface, but still a stupidface.

9. That Time Zoe Had Unspecified Internal Injuries And Wash Was Sad And Angry (“Out of Gas,” 1×08)
The devotion Wash (Alan Tudyk) has for Zoe (Gina Torres) just makes me cry inside.  Especially knowing what I know now.  It’s just beautiful, and it’s touching, and I’m jealous of women who have men who care about them that much.  Actually several moments in this episode get me.

8. That Time Kaylee Got Shot And There Was Angst (“Serenity,” 1×01)
“Can you move your legs?”
“Are you asking me to dance?”
I love Kaylee (Jewel Staite).  I love that that’s her reaction.  I love that everyone is so angry and chaotic and she’s just confused and in pain and everyone is trying to take care of her.
“Kaylee is very dear.”
I have a weird soft spot for this because I may have a scar in the exact same place she does from that gunshot wound, too.

7. That Time Simon And Kaylee Almost Kissed, Then Kaylee Got Threatened And Tied Up By Early (“Objects in Space,” 1×14)
Ye-ahhh.  A lot of these are Kaylee-related, just ’cause wibbley Kaylee makes me wibbley too.  And this is one of the most emotionally intense sequences of scenes ever for me.  We start with the flirtfail wibbling, then we go straight to abject terror and fear and Early (Richard Brooks) being a creeper.  And it’s just a bunch of painful brilliance.

6. Every Gorram Time There Is A Simon/Kaylee Or Mal/Inara Flirtfail
Pretty self-explanatory.  And it does happen all the time.  The Simon (Sean Maher) and Kaylee moments are more awkward heart-ass-kicking.  The Mal and Inara (Morena Baccarin) ones are more tragic heart-ass-kicking.  And every time I pretend to stab myself or something.  It’s just too much.  In a really great way.

5. That Time Tracy Flirted With Kaylee, Then Used Her As His Hostage And Stuff (“The Message,” 1×12)
GORRAMIT TRACY (Jonathan M. Woodward).  Manipulating Kaylee into flirting with you and thinking well of you and stuff and taking advantage of the fact that she was totes vulnerable from some of those Simon-related flirtfails.  Trying to use her as a bargaining chip.  Not cool.
“When you can’t walk, you crawl, and when you can’t crawl, you find someone to carry you.”
Actually, that entire bit sort of breaks my heart.  The ending, with the most gorgeous piece of music ever, when they were having a funeral for the show basically ’cause they just found out it was getting cancelled… kill me now.  With beauty.

4. That Time River And Simon Were Kidnapped By Hillfolk And River Was Sad (“Safe,” 1×05)
It’s the dialogue that I think best defines Simon and River’s (Summer Glau) amazingly amazing close brother/sisterness.  It’s the dialogue that defines attachment and affection and devotion and all that.
You gave up everything you had to find me, and you found me broken.”
Every time, man.  Just… awwwes.  River.  Băobĕi.  You poor thing.

3. That Time Mal Is Gonna Stay With The Ship And Inara Wants Him To Go With Them And Not Die (“Out of Gas,” 1×08)
Can be summed up in exactly two lines:
“You don’t have to die alone, Mal.”
“Everyone dies alone.”

2. That Time Nandi Slept With Mal And Inara Was Sad (“Heart of Gold,” 1×13)
And then Nandi (Melinda Clarke) realizes Inara has feelings for Mal, too, and then Inara’s trying to be strong, and Mal’s all awkward, and Inara’s crying in her room, and then Inara wants to leave, and… AUGH.

Also, GORRAM REAVERS.  GORRAM REAVERS BREAKING MY HEART EVERY SINGLE TIME AND MAKING ME ABUSE CAPS LOCK.  Wash is just awesome, and — augh, augh, augh, it isn’t fair even though it sort of did have to be him, but still.   At least the comic, “Float Out,” makes up for it in a tragically beautiful kind of way.

–your fangirl heroine.

Fashion Friday :: the best.

24 Aug


Olenna Tyrell (Diana Rigg) is all things that should be. She neither takes nor gives (a) shit, and she’s just a classy lady. I had POUR ONE OUT FOR OLENNA written on our in-home chalkboard for about three months after her death scene, to put it in perspective.


I sort of have a plan here. The excellent black/gold dresses are currently running too low, so I’m working with it. Sheer and Now Button-Up Top, ModCloth.


See, get it? It’s like the mod 60s because Diana Rigg was famous in the mod 60s. Mod Thoughts Mini Skirt, Banned at ModCloth.


Ah, the old standards .Layer It On Tights in Black, ModCloth.


These are also quite 60s, actually, in their way. Sophistication Showcase Tassel Loafer, ModCloth.

big bee

And of course this is the week ModCloth decides to be low on bee jewelry. Bees, get it? Because bees like flowers but also bees sting and Olenna stings too.  Big Bee Heart Necklace, CosmicFirefly at Etsy.


Make-Up Monday :: the 2018 Oscars and Emerald City Comicon 2018

5 Mar

It was a long-ass weekend and we are only just recovering, honestly. So I’m initiating a new day, Make-Up Monday. That’s for when there are things that would normally go on a different day (Superlative and Sundry Sundays, in this case) but just happened to be written about on Monday because of time and life.

First: the Oscars. We didn’t watch because we honestly didn’t care all that much (and I was reminded of how much I wanted to finally watch Hellboy when I saw Hellboy cosplayers this weekend, which was overall a good choice, I think). But! I am here to give absolute mad props to Jordan Peele for Best Original Screenplay re: Get Out (which deserved a lot more awards than just that, but hey, it’s a step in the right direction and I’m fully prepared to fight the people who complained about it being not an “Oscar movie” [because I bet they didn’t whine about, like, The Dark Knight the same way when they arguably could have]) and Guillermo del Toro for Best Director and Best Picture re: The Shape of Water. Those were two of the best movies of last year and I’m glad that the Academy was willing to recognize them even though neither of them are exactly the usual. That’s different than not being an “Oscar movie” because when people say that, in that certain tone of voice, they mean that it doesn’t meet arbitrary cultural standards of dignity/relevance/high culture/lots of rich white guys everywhere. I just mean that the Academy wouldn’t usually recognize a satirical horror movie about racism or a period drama about a disabled woman who wanted to fuck a fishman.


Second: Emerald City. We did Friday-Saturday-Sunday this year, though not Thursday, and had a relatively easy schedule. Friday (during which we were cosplaying as Matt[ilda] Murdock [myself] and Elektra Natchios [drift partner] since the only way they could be gayer is if they were both actually women and anyway Matt is one of the only white boys we give serious damns about anymore, but we only got a selfie because we forgot to get anyone else to take a picture of us since we were alone most of the day) was largely devoted to walking around, scoping things out (saw lots of lovely art, found myself a Funko Pop of Lafayette from True Blood which is worth bragging about since that series was literally years ago and isn’t made anymore I’m pretty sure), and meeting Billie Piper.

Billie Piper was lovely. As y’all know, I do not Doctor Who. We watched the season with Twelve and Bill because of Bill, as you know, but I’ve never done the rest of it. I know that Billie Piper played Rose, who was a companion to Nine and Ten both; I know that people are bonkers about Rose/Ten; I know that drift partner drastically prefers Nine to Ten as a romantic partner for Rose and as a character (and at this point my only extended exposure to David Tennant is Jessica Jones, so I’m inclined to be wary of Ten as well; David Tennant was also there with a line that was absolutely mad and I’m sure he’s fine but I just couldn’t). Mostly, though, I personally know Billie Piper from Penny Dreadful. I still haven’t been able to bring myself to watch the last episode of that show because I just… can’t, I don’t know. It was a beautiful weird headrush of a program and Billie Piper was one of my favorite parts of it, considering that her plotline, which was in the style of but not directly derived from any one particular known story, was “prostitute dies of consumption or something [I assume consumption because that’s what people die of in the olden days] and is reborn as the Bride of Frankenstein, then meets Dorian Grey and after regaining memory of her time as a prostitute decides to seek vengeance on all of London’s cruel johns, eventually recruiting other London prostitutes to join her in a vengeful and sometimes Sapphic prostitute army” and that is 100% my brand. As a result of this, I made sure to tell Billie Piper (after drift partner discussed her love for Rose and Nine) that I so greatly appreciated the wicked insanity of Penny Dreadful. She seemed to get a kick out of that, largely because I imagine most people had been talking to her about Who throughout the con and it was nice to have a change of pace.

(She also asked the girls in front of us for recommendations for a good curry place nearby, which was insanely charming.)

Here is that selfie of us of Matt[ilda] and Elektra, anyway:


Saturday was when we did Black Widow [drift partner] and Scarlet Witch [me]. My mom upgraded Scarlet Witch since our sojourn to Rose City last September, and I was thrilled to wear it; it’s surprisingly comfortable, if very very warm, and I like the mood it puts me in. The day was more looking and buying, grabbing a couple of writer signatures (Marguerite Bennett of Bombshells fame, who I was absolutely thrilled to meet because oh my god you guys that is my favorite thing, and Kate Leth of Hellcat fame, who we met last year but I wanted to meet again because she’s awesome), and meeting Sean Maher.

Sean Maher, as you know, is Simon on Firefly, aka one of my always boys, aka one of the only male characters I am hardcore about, aka the namesake of one of my parents’ cats, aka half of one of the only m/f ships I still freak out about, aka a lovely real life example of a happy gay person living a good life. He seemed very tired but we got a nice picture of him wearing a vest signed and told him we adored his character and adored his being a lovely example of gay because we too are in that. He then used the word “family” which was sweet.

Here’s a picture of us as Scarlet Witch and Black Widow, taken by a professional (?) photographer who was nice enough to indulge us:


Sunday was my mother’s very first day at Emerald City! She wore her excellent Melisandre and I wore the season 7 Daenerys she just finished for me, which is very nice but oh my god the warmest thing I’ve ever worn at a convention; drift partner wore her excellent Jessica-Jones-as-Jewel after some last-minute changes to our cosplay schedule. I decided the theme was then “women who murder rapists,” because Melisandre has certainly done (albeit maybe accidentally) and Dany definitely does and, well, Jess has also done. Yes. Our first goal of the day was seeing Summer Glau, because while we have before my mom has not. We paid to take a selfie with her, and by selfie I mean picture at the table that someone else took because it’s hard to take a selfie with four people in it, and my mom thanked her for giving her an excellent daughter-in-law (after retelling the story of drift partner’s and my meeting). Summer cooed and gave us hugs and said she was glad to be part of the story.

After that we went to go see Corinne Duyvis, who was hanging out signing books in the vendor hall. We had a very nice talk about how On the Edge of Gone had entered my life soon after I realized I was autistic and its protagonist really struck a chord with me accordingly; drift partner has known longer about autism but she agreed with the overall sentiment. Then we talked about her glasses (which were purple and pink, which matched how she currently had her hair dyed). She was very lovely and I was thrilled to get to meet her because, well, I really had never thought I’d get to because genre YA authors aren’t the people you think about as likely to come to a convention. And after that was a lot of walking around, art-perusing, and my mom and I getting our photos taken by people.

Here’s our “selfie” with Summer:


Overall, good weekend very exhausting.

–your fangirl heroine.


Television Tuesday :: some thoughts on the decline of Community

18 Aug

Entirely by my drift partner (as the reason I have not seen beyond seasons 1-3 is that she warned me against it).

Community is a show that will always have a very special place in my heart, because it reminded me that comedy didn’t have to be mean-spirited. When I was a freshman in college, I had only recently begun to watch currently running television shows that actual adults watched (I.E. not things from Disney Channel or canceled shows like Firefly and Pushing Daisies). At some point this led me to The Big Bang Theory, which I am sorry to say I watched four seasons of before realizing how awful and unfunny it is. But realize I did, and then I decided I needed another comedy to watch. A complicated series of events led me to watching about half of Community season one in a day, and it was a revelation to me. Here was a show about nerds that didn’t half-rely on sex jokes, and that didn’t make fun of people in order to be funny! (I mean, it does make fun of some people, but the humor does not come from mockery.) And here was a group of friends who seemed like they actually liked and respected each other, despite being vastly different! Also, here was a show with more than one character of color where the jokes weren’t centered around their races. I was hooked, and I kept watching up until very recently, after season six premiered on Yahoo Video.

But there’s a very marked difference between seasons 1-3 and seasons 4-6. I hear it’s a little easier to take if you watch it all the way through from the beginning, but I have never felt the need to do this since season 4 killed a part of my soul. In seasons 1-3 the characters evolve and change, and we learn more about them as people. They become rounded, interesting characters (except maybe Pierce, but literally no one likes Pierce). The show continued to be its weird, wonderful self by doing, amongst other things, a claymation episode, a Christmas musical episode, multiple episodes centered around paintball wars, a Law & Order-themed episode, multiple episodes filmed documentary-style, and an episode entirely in 8-bit. But by the end of season 3, no one was sure if NBC was going to pick up the show. Dan Harmon had planned for four seasons, although amidst the uncertainty the hashtag #sixseasonsandamovie began to circulate. The fandom immediately started campaigns, including one to vote the show onto the cover of TV Guide (which we won, and I swear was through the combined actions of my friend and I voting literally every spare minute we had). It was an uncertain time.

Finally we got the news. Community would be back for a fourth season…without creator Dan Harmon. Now, Harmon is an interesting fellow: it’s been well-documented that he and Chevy Chase clashed on set multiple times, and that’s part of the reason Chevy wanted to leave, and he can come across as abrasive and condescending and has trouble apologizing. I’ve made my peace with it. All showrunners are assholes in some way. But his unique way of looking at the world is what gave Community its flavor, and when the network brought in David Guarascio and Moses Port from Modern Family, it sort of felt like they didn’t know what to do with it. They looked at the show and they saw a weird sitcom, so they said “okay, let’s keep making it weird.” The fourth season included a convention episode, a body swap episode, a flashback episode that supposedly revealed that the study group members had run into each other before (note this already having been established with Jeff and Shirley in season 3), and a musical episode with puppets and Sara Bareilles. The problem is that the new showrunners managed, somehow, to miss the part where the wackiness of the show was always serviced by the characters, rather than the other way around.

A really good example of this is the body swap episode. This sounds like a great idea, right? The basic plot involved…some mumbo jumbo about Troy (Donald Glover) and Abed (Danny Pudi) reenacting the body swap scene from the original Freaky Friday that caused them to actually switch bodies, I think. I don’t know, that entire evening is a haze of crushed dreams. The only part I actually remember is the scene where Troy and Abed look down the pants of their swapped bodies, at which point I watched the rest of the episode through a haze of fury. Abed has never cared about anyone’s junk and Troy would never look at Abed’s without permission. The rest of the episode involves some wackiness about the lost Freaky Friday DVD and Abed-as-Troy having to go on an anniversary date with Britta, while Troy-as-Abed tries to help him break up with her, I don’t know, it was a mess. Troy and Abed are mean to each other and mean to Britta and that just wouldn’t happen at this point. Basically half of this season was allegedly all about Troy and Abed’s friendship, except Abed acts weirdly possessive in a way he hadn’t up to that point, and Troy is weirdly spineless in a way he had never been, and it is just no good for anybody.

So after season 4, I was feeling pretty despondent. Then, Dan Harmon revealed he had been rehired for season 5! Wary, I decided to keep watching. The fact that I just had to go look up season 5 on Wikipedia to remember any of the episodes should tell you how well that turned out. The characters were sort of their old selves, but the show’s tone was…weird. Part of the reason is probably that at that point, Jeff (Joel McHale) was no longer a student and had instead become Greendale’s newest law professor. So the “study group” wasn’t really a study group anymore, and that just further continued with the departure of Pierce (Chevy Chase) and Troy. Pierce died, and no one was really sad, but Troy’s leaving (in-show, the reason was that Pierce was leaving his entire fortune to him, but only if he could sail his yacht around the world in a year – long story) was heartbreaking. Honestly, the episode where Abed panics because Troy is leaving and turns the entire school into a The Floor is Lava game is the only one from seasons 4 and 5 put together that felt like old Community to me. It’s definitely the only one I’d rewatch. Because that episode was focused on Abed and Troy’s relationship and on Abed’s inability to cope with his best friend leaving, but in a way that didn’t feel forced (season 4 had an episode about Jeff’s absentee dad that tried way too hard to tug heartstrings). It also remembered old jokes from the show, as in a season 1 episode Troy asks “Why am I crying? Did I accidentally listen to ‘Come Sail Away’ by Styx again?” And in the final scene, when Troy boards the yacht with LeVar Burton (again, long story), the song playing is…”Come Sail Away.” I can count the times I have openly bawled at television on one hand, and this was one of those times.

But overall, season 5 was hit-or-miss, largely forgettable, and full of weird moments. John Oliver returns as Professor Ian Duncan, and proceeds to – try to woo Britta? There was an entire episode about a popularity app that was a rehash of a season one episode. And so on. At this point I was praying for it to die a quiet death, so when Yahoo swept in to rescue the show for season 6 I was dreading it more than anything. I still haven’t finished it. The parts I have seen are okay. Paget Brewster is kind of fun, sort of an Annie 2.0, and Nathan Fillion finally got his cameo. The episode where they try to argue that Greendale didn’t actually give a degree to a literal dog is kind of funny. But in general, it seems like the show has lost its heart. I think part of that may be that it keeps losing cast members and having to compensate; Yvette Nicole Brown, who plays Shirley, departed suddenly at the beginning of filming to care for her ailing father. Without her, the show has become Charming Asshole Jeff, Ditzy Britta, Robot Abed, Micromanager Annie, Crazy Chang, Annie 2.0, and Keith David for some reason. The new group didn’t really gel for me, and I’m not sure if I have the heart to finish it anytime soon.

So what caused this? I think it was a combination of things: Harmon’s leaving, the new showrunners not knowing what they were doing, Harmon’s uncertainty of where to take his characters once he had returned, and, honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Yahoo were doing some micromanaging of their own behind the scenes. A friend who has watched it has told me that Britta has become even more of a punchline than she used to be, and that doesn’t sit well with me. I also noticed that Abed is treated less kindly and more like a walking TV Tropes article; without Troy there, after all, who understands him? In the end, I think, it is simply that the show has forgotten how to be kind in its humor. When it began, it was a celebration of weirdness and how weirdness can bring people together. Now…I’m not really sure what sets it apart from any of the other sitcoms on TV, and that’s a weird, sad thought.

That being said, if Yvette and Donald want to come back for a movie, I’ll be there. I want to believe my show’s not gone forever.

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which studying and research and pony academia and also… Equestria Pickers, sort of.

21 May

Ponies are the perfect antidote to a show about annoying douchey non-bro bros.

Lackadaisical!!! That is such a great word. “That was the work sneak attack ever.” Of course it was, Rainbow, because Twi is many things but she is not sneaky.

I always forget if we’d seen that Twi can use her horn to teleport before. Or do a lot of the magicks she does with it.

“Reading and highlighting is the foundation of any good study method.” Ohhhh Twi my darling. I love you and your studying so much.

…how do they have movies in Ponyville I don’t think that’s ever been a thing. I guess there’s a still camera in the opening so it’s an intuitive leap, but. Technology seems very selective here.

General Firefly as a soundtrack for Rainbow and Owlysius and Spike’s impromptu Stomp! number. That’s delightful.

Twi is so excited bless her so much.

I’m sort of confused as to why there’s an academic component to being a Wonderbolt. I mean it’s actually not a horrible idea, having a mental component to physical activities or large-scale team events.

“The Icharanian Sun Salutation.” Why is there Greek mythology in Equestria?

Awwww and now Flutter is making her animal friends put on a play about the Wonderbolts. This is the cutest freaking thing. Even if it’s going horribly wrong. Where did Pinkie come from, though. Pinkie is good at just appearing out of nowhere.

Pinkie is making a1980s rap music video WHY why is this happening.

…and Rarity is dressed to lead a marching band?

Oh, it’s the Wonderbolts costume from originally.

How does this help Rainbow learn this is literally just them parading around in costume.

I bet AJ’s trick is – nope AJ doesn’t have a trick whoops.

Arguing won’t help her learn either.

Awww reminding Rainbow that she’s not dumb. Sweetling.

Multitasking! Learning while flying! OH THERE IS A PLAN.

Awwww everyone acting things out this is the most adorable thing in the entire world. I am having even more friend feelings than usual for some reason. Teamwork.

The Rainbow Falls what-what? Exchange? What’s being exchanged?

Tchotchkes? Traders’ Exchange okay that’s something.

So it’s just a giant swap meet.

“It’s the only one in all of Equestria.” Where else would it be? Are there other continents here?

Vintage! Goin’ shopping and I bet it’s not going to end well. Twi has to mediate disagreements she says but I bet she’ll be mediating disagreements from her friends.

The Ancient Beasts stall. This is the weirdest swap meet ever.

Is that pony voiced by Will Forte? The pony running the Ancient Beasts stall sounds like he’s voiced by Will Forte, kind of.

Now Rainbow and Flutter are on a weird trading all of the things for a thing quest. This is so convoluted omg.

And Pinkie mediating Twi’s ridiculous attempts to… sell an entire bookshelf.

And… this is getting so so so complicated. Wow.

Also, why would it take all of those goods to get one brooch or one pie pan? It really shouldn’t.

Where did Pinkie’s ridiculous mustache come from? Where did her showman hat come from?

You know that the time you spend arguing about it is time you could spend trading.

Original salespony, you are being stubborn and unfair. And Flutter’s animal-related persuasion saves the day wait Rainbow don’t make your friend move to Manehattan for you to get a book.

And oh oh books and memories and sentimental value! Aw, Pinkie did a useful thing.

Actually, the thing that would have been nicer is if the salespony let Rainbow keep the book anyway because it was such a sweet thing to witness.

–your fangirl heroine.

your argument is invalid