Theatre Thursday :: this is a pages-long liveblogging of The Rocky Horror Picture Show on Fox

20 Oct

Well,this is how it’s done in the stage show, so that makes sense! I like her tights.

I’m not sure who this girl is, but it’s working just fine.

Also holy shit this guy has costume designed everything.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I FORGOT IT WAS KENNY ORTEGA SOMEHOW

I didn’t know! And I hope a bunch of kids who loved High School Musical are watching lol.

Okay, but I think I need to take a minute to tell you all, in case you don’t recall any of the previous allusions to this I’ve made, Rocky Horror was my A+ #1 special interest in eighth grade. I know this piece of work more intimately than I probably should.

This also begs a question: if Janet is such a good friend of Betty’s how come she wasn’t a bridesmaid?

I know every single stupid line of dialogue. Good grief.

Ooohhh I like the mourners who are the other cast members of course echoing the nonsensical portrayal of American Gothic in the church. Also that grave is for Mary Shelley I had no idea that she lived in the middle of nowhere in Texas.

I would also like to take this moment to share with everyone the seminal classic “Take a Hint,” which is the only context I have for Victoria Justice who is playing Janet.

OH YEAH. She’s a former Nickelodeon kid, and Brad’s actor is a former Disney kid, apparently.

I’ll mention further cast references as they come up because I am a big dork.

I like that I can tell they have not changed the script to this NEARLY as much as they did to Grease. Or, possibly at all.

I’m also amused by the including the audience participating. That’s a neat way to film it. This isn’t nearly as rowdy as real life AP stuff lol. Because in my heart, AP stood for audience participation long before it stood for advanced placement, like in school.

Oh my god HEPL I’M DYING AHAHHAHA

Reeve Carney is of course from Penny Dreadful, where he plays Dorian Gray (a character, incidentally, not unlike Dr. Frank-N-Furter in some ways, though he’s playing Riff-Raff, heretofore typed by me as Riff because I have nicknames for some of these goddamn people, in this).

Also, apparently he was a childhood friend of Mara Wilson! I have learned this via Twitter.

Costumes holy shit holy shit costumes I’m geeking out so fucking hard.

Oh my god Columbia Columbia’s fucking costume I’m dead I need it yesterday.

“You’re wet.” “Yes, it’s… raining.” This is one of my favorite jokes of all time, by the way.

I like that that bannister is designed for sliding down. And she didn’t even slide. That’s funny.

THE IDLE DUSTING OF THE COFFIN CLOCK OH MY GOD THE ATTENTION TO DETAIL

They just entered through a fireplace that’s incredible.

Christina Milian, who is playing Magenta, has been a pop star and in some like, low-popularity films.

I like the pride flag.

I also like that they finally made Magenta’s hair magenta.

Also her skirt is all Pride-y too!

Her skirt and hair are both highly bisexual. Because she is highly bisexual.

(You guys. Columbia is my girl. I love her. To a ridiculous degree.)

ALSO what they said about how blue is earth people and red/warm colors are Transylvania is interesting because Columbia’s got a little of both. Because the point of Columbia is, bless her heart, that she’s an Earth girl who got dragged into these Transylvania shenanigans.

ALSO I like these random-ass Doo-Wop Girls. That’s one of the only things this was missing.

Goddamn Laverne Cox is killing it.

And I fucking love her spiderweb tights.

Yeah, I’m actually way more into this look than the original Tim Curry costume.

Oh, yeah. This one is a lot more decadent tbh. The Tim Curry one was probably scandalous… in 1975. But this is more interesting. Also I appreciate that they brought up color theory.

The fucking beatnik snaps.

I will say that I wish the lipsyncing wasn’t so obvious, but oh well.

Oh my god Janet that shy little giggle

Columbia’s fucking lollipop

Annaleigh Ashford, Columbia, has incidentally been in many Broadway productions including Wicked, Legally Blonde, and Kinky Boots.

Oh, I heard about the board shorts on the internet. Interesting.

Staz Nair, Rocky, was recently one of the Dothraki!

That is certainly a name.

But consider this: being a fully grown baby and waking up to a bunch of people blowing confetti at you and sexually objectifying you. That must be pretty weird.

Also, Columbia is a little troll.

Sometimes I look back on this and go “what was it that brought me here”? Not in a bad way per se but sometimes I just wonder. This is so fucking weird.

Okay. so Eddie came through the window, not from the fridge. That changes the implications of some fanon theories I remember from my days in this fandom. Which, at least – god – thirteen years ago, was plenty alive.

Awww Brad and Janet try to dance. That’s charming. They’re square.

Okay, but that sexual tension is still present. Between Eddie and Frank.

I don’t give much of a shit about Adam Lambert but he’s serviceable here.

Yeah, also he died and that’s funny.

Magenta bringing Columbia another lollipop and petting her shoulder while she’s traumatized bless. Columbia and Magenta were my entree into wlw fandom, I should clarify.

Oh Brad. Looks like your sweetie is tired of your vanilla and she didn’t even know it.

This, with being able to see faces, is outstandingly gay.

Riff and Mags are also trolls. There have been a variety of fanon theories about why they let Rocky out, but. I don’t actually remember most of them.

Brad does definitely have a Disney face.

“I’m Torgo. I take care of the place while the Master is away.”

That looked like a hall in Professor Xavier’s mansion.

I would like to take this time to inform you all that I did once go to Disneyland and pay to get “Columbia” written on a pair of mouse ears.

I wish someone had told her to sing less pretty in this song, but it’s not bad.

No! Objectively she is still a better singer than Susan Sarandon, probably.

Yeah, but I don’t really believe she wants to bone him either lol.

Well, no, me either. But y’know.

“Congratulations, Janet.”

Also, I have seen Ben Vereen live, playing the Wizard in Wicked.

I’ve always been amused by the eleventh-hour plot development in this story.

JANET DOCTOR SCOTT JANET BRAD ROCKY /look. That’s also my favorite joke.

I’m also amused that Magenta has had literally twenty different accents it’s appropriate.

This is the most passive-aggressive dinner party I’ve ever seen and I love it. Always have.

Also, Columbia being a screamer is probably what initially drew me to her.

I just have a lot of stupid feelings about Columbia, you guys.

Also “what’s it say! What’s it say!” is another joke I do hold dear.

I like that they made Janet’s shoes glittery too.

“You’re as sensual as a pencil” is probably my favorite insult in this entire script.

“A mental mind game” you’re so cute trying to make this TV-safe.

Look at Mags’ emotional confusion about doing the thing to Columbia though

I like that they changed Frank’s pronouns!

These floorshow costumes are fun though! I like that they’re all different.

Also that bathrobe looks painful to wear but it’s highly aesthetic.

I just really enjoy the Floorshow a lot.

Drive-by transphobia from my mother. I’m glad she didn’t join me lol.

Your mother should never partake of this.

Holy shit these space outfits are amazing

Columbia looks so disappointed and betrayed her girlfriend did a bad

Victoria Justice just reminded me of Amy Acker???

Omg I love her gloves

Aw li’l Columbia feeling her feelings

And li’l Columbia hamming up her death scene. Bless. This girl is clearly a stage actress.

Wherein Riff-Raff is Loki?

EL BOW SEX EL BOW SEX EL BOW SEX

So these guys are selling “Super Heroes” way more than the original people did. Which is probably why it got cut from the theatrical release of the original movie.

Well! I’m a noob, I’ve only seen the original twice, and I liked this just fine.

Coming from someone who’s seen the original at least… fifteen times that number, this worked out just fine indeed!

–your fangirl heroines.

out20of20our20minds

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