This particularly applies to people who are in an implicit or explicit position of power over the person they’re dealing with. Bosses/managers to employees, parents to children, customers to workers, men to women honestly, etc. People who have not been invited to do these things.
5. Calling them nicknames.
Terms of endearment. These are supposed to be things you say to people you’re close with, if you say them at all. But if someone who is not my person calls me “honey” I feel not unlike a cat with a poofy tail. I’m sure it’s meant well, but it’s overly familiar and what can seem sweet when it’s people that you like saying it can seem really condescending when it’s a random saying it.
4. Sharing too much information.
I am not the kind of person that likes to swap life stories with people. In fact, this almost always makes me uncomfortable, whether I’m being forced to tell or hearing it. It’s sort of the thing of making someone listen because you know they have to; it’s sort of just awkward and not everyone wants to listen to that, y’all.
3. Teasing rough.
In about 50% of my workplaces, all of which have been fairly entry-level positions, there’s been a culture between workers and managers of giving each other shit. Maybe if you’re the kind of person that enjoys that it’s fine, but I personally don’t like it even when friends do it. I get anxious easily and I don’t like when people don’t get along, so when someone is classifying their own behavior (jokingly) as harassment I get really uncomfortable and feel like it wouldn’t be taken seriously if I said that something someone did genuinely bothered me, which creates unhappy environments. This also works with families. If everyone does that, fine, but it’s just so weird for me being around people who do that without having a good sense of that being okay.
My dad rolls his eyes every time I complain about a stranger or work acquaintance touching me, but I do not like it and I know that I’m not the only one. People, particularly of a certain age, seem to think it’s okay to touch others without asking, and that just… it needs to stop.
Obviously no one should do this. Gaslighting is really bad shit, y’all. But it should especially not be done by people on the winning end of a power differential: bosses should not make their employees, as in #3, feel like they’re in the wrong to have a problem. Parents should not convince their children that bad things are always their fault. Etcetera.
–your fangirl heroine.