Sarcastic Saturday :: 10 things they should tell you when you’re starting a retail job

12 Dec

Presented without commentary.

10. It’s a good day if you never want to scream at anyone.

9. Think of the worst thing you’ve heard someone say about a marginalized group of people (slurs, jokes, whatever).  You’ll hear worse, and that might be why you want to scream.

8. If you’re going to math it out for a customer, make sure you’ve got a computer or calculator handy to check your work.

7. You will develop a verbal repertoire.  Don’t be alarmed, it’s natural to answer the phone in the same exact tone of voice every time.

6. Get used to hearing the same songs three times a day or more.

5. Brush up on your basic subtraction skills.

4. People are by and large slobs and you can either brush this off because you’ve got other things to do or try to fix it as effectively and unobtrusively and thoroughly as possible.  Choose your path.

3. It’s sadly going to probably be best if you only show about 40% of your personality to your coworkers or customers.

2. People will expect you to be able to “take a joke” even if it’s offensive and/or aimed at you personally.  You obviously don’t need to do this, but it’s best if you figure out a facial expression that reads like you are.

1. Remind yourself at least ten times a day that you’re a badass and you can handle this.

–your fangirl heroine.




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