Whimsy Wednesday :: in which HANDS, there are many twists, and what the fuck this is for children???

23 Sep

Oh no this episode is going to be painful and very queer isn’t it.

Michiru fake-sunning herself by the side of the swimming pool listening to the sea “it’s not fair, going into your own world like that. Don’t leave me alone,” Haruka murmurs, coming to lean over top of Michiru.

FLOPPY DISC

Meanwhile, someone is pranking Eudial by putting snails all over her locker.  DIE YOU STATION WAGON SNAIL WOMAN! the note says.  The other Witches 5 are gossiping.  No, the one whose time will come next is the one who’s not in shadow!

“She’s always trying to act cute in front of me” I SEE EUDIAL suddenly visions of hatesex are flashing in my head.  Or not the actual hatesex because they’re cartoons, but you know.

Now Eudial is calling Haruka to gloat.  Haruka is sitting in the window all… dashing.

A FAX

Also, the fact that the message time is too short for her to finish gloating is hilarious.

OH GOD IT IS THE HAND THING THE HAND THING I AM DYING I REMEMBER THIS FROM MY YOUTH AND IT WAS LIKE WHY ARE COUSINS DOING THAT

“I love your hands…” I AM DEAD

WELL THAT WAS REAL GAY

Ami is fretting and studying.  Mako is fretting and standing out in the rain.  Rei is fretting and staring at the rain.  Minako is fretting and playing video games.  Usagi is fretting while sleeping?

SETSUNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Usagi goes to meet Haruka and Michiru at a very large aquarium.  She is cheerful, they are not.  Haruka takes Usagi’s transformation brooch and Usagi begs her not to take pure hearts.  They transform… angrily… fyi, guys, twirling around while your clothes disappear is not a great way to prove your anger at someone.

AND THE ROSE PETALS FALL ANYWAY

THEY HAVE A HELICOPTER OH MY GOD

And along comes Setsuna to warn Usagi.  Sailor Pluto, not that Usagi puts that together yet.  What a human she is.

Helicoptering to a grand under-construction church.  An empty, ominous facility.  I feel like sometimes they just set things at random buildings that they want to draw.

THEY ALMOST HOLD HANDS BUT THEN THEY DON’T I AM SO DEAD

IT’S A GIANT FOOZBALL TABLE

This is oddly dramatic for an actual LITERAL giant foosball table.

A thing comes to attack Uranus and Neptune pushes her out of the way and then she disappears into the wall and then Eudial PLAYS THE ORGAN

“your partner Sailor Neptune”

I’m SO

I like that they didn’t even try to animate her actually playing the organ, she just flops her hands over the keys.  Amaze.

SPOILER GUYS SPOILER IT’S URANUS AND NEPTUNE THEIRS ARE THE TALISMANS

Neptune pulls out of her bonds and runs to stop Uranus’s talisman from being taken, only to be shot by the trap over and over and over and over. Uranus screams.

I feel like a bad person for laughing at the sad violins because this is actually sad. But, sad violins.

UsAGI COMES TO FIGHT EVEN THOUG HSHE CAN”T TRANSFORM what a pal

I AM DEAD I AM DEAD

“Earlier, I thought that you looked like the Messiah…” MAYBE MAYBE

HARUKA SHOOTS HER OWN TALISMAN OUT OF HERSELF JESUS CHRIST

WELL. That was dramatic.

It’s actually a really good thing they always seem to fight at construction sites, though, because then it’s not like they’re destroying a fully built building, at least.

Eudial and her flamethrower, man.  Shoving Neptune’s mirror talisman down her bra-top.

Alas, Shine Aqua Illusion did not put out the fire.  Is Burning Mandala going to cancel it out? Nope.  They’re in a ring of fire.

I literally just realized Ami is a waterbender and Rei is a firebender. …I never claimed to be smart.

You’re adorable.  Is what.

Now they’re literally chasing Eudial through the church, now that Chibi Moon showed up to extinguish the fire.

She has bested them with sticky goo.

Sailor Moon literally stepping-stones over them.  Do your best, Sailor Moon.  I believe in you.

But WAIT!  Setsuna is here to attempt to rationalize with Eudial but THEN TRANSFORMATION SHE IS SAILOR PLUTO SPOIIIILER this is the biggest spoilerset of episodes in a while.

Sailor Pluto is here to show Eudial that talismans can exist outside of their person’s pure heart because magic or something

Michiru, er, Neptune turns to Uranus with a shy smile as they acknowledge their talismans.

OH NO BABY HOTARU OH NO BABY

The Holy Grail appears!  Eudial intends to take it by fire but that is not to be.

THE CHURCH IS LIT WITH THE PINK GLOW OF A NEW TRANSFORMATION born from the butterflies is a new Sailor Moon!  Who can repel Fire Buster with a glittery raised hand.

Omg this is what happens in the Avatar finale too. AWESOME. (Kind of? At least with the indifferent brushing off of the villain’s attacks.)

Eudial’s car goes off a cliff or something she is dead Mimete is very twee.

TINY BABY HOTARU IT WILL BE OKAY TINY BABY I’M SORRY YOUR DAD IS AN EVIL SCIENTIST

BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

–your fangirl heroines.

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