Whimsy Wednesday :: in which everybody is bisexual and the show doesn’t even try to pretend otherwise

9 Sep

Uranus’ distant past, eh?  My memory of the specific episodes of this show is so weird, because I definitely actually remember the next episode we’ll be watching tonight but somehow I haven’t been triggered for this one yet despite it sounding significantly more important.

“Haruka and Michiru are so beautiful,” is the first thing Usagi says in the intro to the episode.  Man, if we were drinking tonight which we’re not because j’ai un head cold, there’d be a shot.  Sip.  Whatever.  “‘m sure they must have met in a wonderful way.  Haruka said that she and Michiru are more than lovers…”

I am uncomfortably turned on by Haruka.  And MIchiru, but Haruka right now.

Doctor Daddy Dearest, you need to slow your roll.  Literally.

“I felt kind of hurt by that look you intentionally gave me.”  Bless, Usagi.

This is quite gay.

And now everyone’s raging bisexuality has a new target.

“You’ve got nice firm tushies.”  OH MY

THAT’S A THING STRAIGHT GIRLS SAY TO EACH OTHER

“But there’s one girl I just couldn’t beat” OH HO  “I’m still chasing after her”  OH HO

WOW OKAY this episode is just freefalling right into it then

“You people again?” Eudial asks, as if there is some surprise that your nemeses are showing up to fight you.

SUCH BACKSTORY SUCH good grief

“If I hadn’t met Michiru Kaioh…” “She said she’s interested in you.”

If I might borrow a phrase from Pierce Hawthorne, “This is the gayest crap I’ve ever seen.”

“Would you model for me?” WOULD YOU MODEL FOR ME

MICHIRU PLAYS THE VIOLIN WHILE HARUKA WEARS A TUXEDO AND EAVESDROPS ON STRANGERS TALKING ABOUT HER HOLY SHIT

“There are a lot of girls at my school who are obsessed with you.”

Such tension wow

HAHAHA NOPE THAT IS HORRIFYING

Oh my god Haruka’s face watching Michiru transform oh my god literal O_O

“I didn’t dig up information on you because you were another Guardian… I wanted to go for a ride in your car by the sea.  You never rely on anyone.  And you are always honest and” HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

Is this lesbian Andy and April

i just.  Haruka who had been avoiding her destiny sought it out because Michiru is her hottie soulmate I can’t

CELLOS

They must have just skipped this episode in the US.  There is no way to play this shit off as “cousins.”

“I’m glad I met you.  Let’s continue to run together.  I won’t let you go home tonight.”  !!!! I AM DEAD

wow what a great episode except for that TERRIFYING MONSTER lol

Time for an episode full of baby hetero to make up for all that gorgeous gorgeous gay.

“Art is an Explosion of Love.”  Uhhh.

Guys, don’t just eat shit you find lying around. That’s how you DIE.

For superheroes their survival instincts are kind of minimal.

Or you might have a child yelling at you.

Oh don’t try to fake AHAHA NOT FAKE Masanori is among the many in love with Michiru, the teacher of their art class, probably.  Sorry, kid.  You’re SOL.

Omg ten-year-olds’ love drama is hilarious.

Usagi, there are less sketch ways to check up on Chibi-Usa and also Luna don’t be encouraging creeping at windows.

Oh man, I wish I could just rub my hands over clay sculptures and make them all detailed and fancy.

Ah, no, Michiru is taking painting next door… and Chibi-Usa is spectacularly unaware of certain key details about Michiru.  Apparently.

And Masanori is sketchily sculpting her in angel form.

FUCK THAT’S A WEEPING ANGEL

Also, is this Scott Pilgrim all of a sudden?

I just can’t get over the Witches 5 with their adorable old Mac computers like the one my family had when I was a tiny child.

“Oh, so there’s a guy with the gall to seek your love?”  “It’s not like you to be jealous, Haruka.” THEY ARE ALREADY MARRIED THEY SERIOUSLY ARE THOUGH

What a smashing entrance.

I’m glad they’re having Uranus and Neptune transformation sequences more I love this damn music so much I want to make this my phone ringer I should look into that.

Terrifying clay monsters.

“What about creating other pieces that are easier to understand?” Neptune asks with a playful giggle oh you cutie.

Sailor Moon and the modern art commentary

And once again, Pink Sugar Heart Attack is a delayed reaction.  And really, not a great technique overall, since she has to be like a foot away from their monster faces to aim it.

“Those two are more reliable than Sailor Moon after all.” Chibiusa you little shit

“Please forgive me, Sheriff!” UHHHHHH

–your fangirl heroines.

sure jan

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