Sarcastic Saturday :: 11 things I learned from working retail.

5 Sep

Presented with minimal commentary.

11. I personally would rather spend eight hours folding things quietly than chirping a routine about finding everything you were looking for, having any coupons or rewards today, wanting to open a card, wanting the receipt in the bag, etcetera.

10. I personally cannot look at narrow (like, less than 1″) navy/white or navy/light color stripes for more than three or four seconds without my brain going fuzzy.

9. The sound of a screaming child will, depending on the day, either make me cringe or give me the beginnings of a low-level panic attack.

8. That old line about the customer always being right is a promotional tool.  Sometimes, in fact, the customer is full of shit.

7. And sometimes they’re not but they’re still annoyed, but there will be a percentage of customers who feel that, because they are customers and you are an underpaid retail employee, they are allowed to essentially pitch a fit or at the very least mutter rude things in your earshot.  Not calling them out will be a test of your patience.

6. Managers and even coworkers will also grate on you occasionally, usually by passive-aggressive arbitrary job-reassigning and micromanaging. Not calling them out will be a test of your patience.

5. Occasionally customers will come in and queer up the gender of the clothes they try on, but this almost never happens with children and is significantly more likely, even universally likely, to be women trying on men’s clothes.

4. People buying clothes for children without the children present are even weirder about making sure their clothes are “appropriately” gendered. Not calling them out will be a test of your patience.

3. For some reason, when grown-ass adults walk into a retail establishment they often feel that it is perfectly acceptable to leave clothes on the wrong table or hanging rack, leave clothes splayed messily over top of each other, leave clothes on the floor, leave clothes in places they logistically and logically should not be, leave hangers strewn all about, and leave actual literal trash in all of the above places. Not calling them out will be a test of your patience, and, depending on the day, the end result will either make me cringe or give me the beginnings of a low-level panic attack.

2. Corporate likes to mandate that you arbitrarily rearrange things and change discounts regularly.  And I do mean arbitrarily.  You have no way of calling them out, but by god you’re going to want to.

1. Corporate and management also have a fun way of not quite saying what they mean.  Sometimes being up-front about it and translating the difference will win you points with customers.  Sometimes it will get you verbally harassed.

–your fangirl heroine.

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