Whimsy Wednesday :: in which heterosexuality.

29 Jul

Uranus and Neptune have all the class and sass in the world.

I find it fascinating how much time they spend studying for exams but how little time they spend… actually at school.

three-way battle you say~~~

…is this episode going to be aggressively heterosexual to make up for the lack thereof previously?

“If you love him, why haven’t you kissed” or whatever?

AH THE AGGRESSIVE GAY RESUMES with roses.  “Dreaming of a kiss… how cute.”  And Michiru tells them of Adam and Eve’s first kiss.  “There are different kinds of kisses.”

Which is NOT in the Bible, as I recall??? I mean, whatever, but Bible fanfic is weird.

“You know a lot, Haruka.”

“Haruka and Michiru are so mature.”  As they exit accompanied by rose petals.

“It’s sweet how cute those girls are.”  Michiru.  Michiru.

COLORED PENCILS

And the same footage of Doctor Daddy Dearest and Sexy Doctor Melisandre with new dialogue again.  OOP HE BROKE THINGS WHILE LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY

WHAT THE TITS IS THAT

That is a sexy elephant vacuum cleaner!

“Ami were you really planning on studying at Unazukis place?” “Shouldn’t I?”

“I’m so glad I’m fitted with a dust mite sensor!”

As Unazuki zombielikely attempts to kiss anyone.  “When her pure heart was stolen, she became impure?” Ami muses.

Neptune also has the best shoes.

The Daimon just… pulled a cord-whip out of her ass.  Basically.

“A pure heart doesn’t match someone with a filthy heart!” Uh, thanks?

As he sits on a pile of sad dirty toys.

It’s always bothered me that Uranus’ butt bow doesn’t match her boobs bow.  But y’know, whatevs.

Michiru getting emotional about the talisman not being the kiss girl’s pure heart.  Gosh.

And Minako winks talking about kisses.  Yup.

Welp starting this episode off with a needle that’s super fun guys.

“Fried shrimp made with love, tears, and sweat!” uhhhhh they’re not onions dude

Ew Umino why did you eat the shrimp’s tail.

“If the two share their feelings for another, it’ll be all right!” or something like that.  Doing so at an affection contest is a terrible idea, but talking it out is a great idea.  Talking is very useful and good!  That is wise, Rei.

…heteros?

This is exceptionally silly even for middle schoolers.

“I thought I might learn something!” Ami explains.

“Two girls?  But from here they look like a couple!”  WELL LET’S TELL Y’ALL SOMETHING, KIDS

“Michiru!  You look wonderful!”  much much hetero.

Haruka found Michiru’s hand first.  Gooooosh.

“I wonder if those two are really in that kind of relationship,” Ami muses.  Everyone else seems shocked by this, and she blushes.  Of course Ami guessed at their relationship first.  Biromantic demi Ami Mizuno may not do much romance, but she’s good at picking up on things that others may not.

“I think it’s wonderful that he can be so serious,” Michiru says of Umino, making Haruka make a lineface.

“The three-legged race of love.”  Love karaoke.  Look at these lesbians

“If we stayed, we’d probably win.  Victory should go to true love.  Love is… love is everything.”  And Haruka and Michiru make a grand exit holy shit.  The real true love tbh.

IIIIIII’D CATCH A GRENAAAAADE FOR YOOOOOUUUUU

The love you share as middle schoolers, mind.  No wonder it turns into a monster honestly.

Omg does she have a heart on her butt crack?

Did Usagi and Naru ever have that serious talk they were going to have about serious things?  I expect they didn’t.

“The Cupid, the god of love” Yes because that’s how they say it.

“Girls should behave like girls,” says Sexy Doctor Melisandre, causing her Daimon to… conjure up some matching monsterboys to dance with the girls, because that’s behaving like a girl.

“Die-Heart, find these girls dance partners.”  “We’ll find our own dance partners.”  Because we’re lesbians and have no time for your heteronormative games.

That’s actually really clever, the more I think about it.  Also, autonomy!

–your fangirl heroines.

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