Music Monday :: taking apart popular but kind of messed up and misinterpreted songs, par

6 Jul

Starting, inspired by having to hear this in the outdoor walkways at my workplace, with “Marry You” by Bruno Mars, the misinterpretation of which I largely blame on Glee, let’s be real.

It’s a beautiful night,
We’re looking for something dumb to do.
Hey baby,
I think I wanna marry you.

So here’s the first problem, right off the bat.  Undoubtedly because they did this in an episode of Glee, this song is now used in actual weddings, presumably because “I think I wanna marry you.”  Even that line is fraught with problems, because, well, if it’s your wedding you’d think you’d want to be certain about marrying the person you were going to marry.  On a nitpicky level, if your wedding is during the day “it’s a beautiful night” doesn’t really make sense, but mostly it’s the “we’re looking for something dumb to do” line that makes this incredibly problematic, particularly for actual weddings.  “Something dumb to do” is not the foundation on which to build a life with someone.

Is it the look in your eyes,
Or is it this dancing juice?
Who cares baby,
I think I wanna marry you.

Herein lies another problem.  What, exactly, about the look in one’s eyes would suggest an impromptu wedding?  But more importantly, “is it this dancing juice?”  Otherwise known as, “do we want to get married ’cause you’re looking at me suggestively or because we’re quite drunk?

Well I know this little chapel on the boulevard we can go oh oh oh,
No one will know oh oh oh,
Oh, come on, girl.
Who cares if we’re trashed got a pocket full of cash we can blow oh oh oh,
Shots of patron,
And it’s on, girl.

So you want to get married but you want it to be a secret and you don’t want to tell anyone?  That sounds kind of sketchy.  Come on, girl!  We’re drunk, let’s waste our money on my drinks and then get super married.  That’s a great plan!

Don’t say no, no, no, no-no;
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah;
And we’ll go, go, go, go-go.
If you’re ready, like I’m ready.

Don’t disagree with my dumbass plan, I’m gonna keep pressing you until you agree with me because you should totally want to be as stupid as I’m being right now!  What a healthy relationship.

Bridge, chorus, etc.

I’ll go get a ring let the choir bells sing like oooh,
So what you wanna do?
Let’s just run girl.

If we wake up and you wanna break up that’s cool.
No, I won’t blame you;
It was fun, girl.

Coerce, coerce, but no big deal, we can get divorced in the morning because that’s not going to be problematic in our lives at all!

Bridge, chorus, etcetera.

Just say I doooooo-ooo uhu,
Tell me right now baby,
Tell me right now baby, baby.

If I order you to tell me multiple times you’ll tell me!

Bridge, chorus, etcetera.

In short: popular wedding ceremony song actually about drunken bad mistakes and coercion.  Hurrah!

–your fangirl heroine.

misguided belief

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