Whinmy Wednesday :: in which so many creepy things happen and someone thought sending a child on an important world-saving mission was a good idea.

8 Apr

Wow, an episode pertaining to Grandpa.  I give zero shits.

“Use your new special technique to punish her!”

When the gossip magazine is calling out your creepy behavior, Grandpa, yes, stop.  Just… stop.

Yeah, I’m actually super on board with full-page ads warning about creepy dudes.

Chibiusa why were you groping your mom’s waist, Usagi why did you spank your daughter and then throw her across the room.

I probably shouldn’t have laughed so hard when she threw her across the room.

“I can practice my math skills as I work.. it’s great!”  Ami you precious princess.

If your “reason for living” is being creepy to young girls, perhaps you should find another hobby.

I’m pretty sure Grandpa wasn’t as creepy in the dub I grew up with.

“Why do you only give Koan such orders?”  Uhhh.

WOW CHIBIUSA HAVING A DAYDREAM ABOUT SPANKING USAGI IS REALLY CREEPY. CONTEXT DOESN’T MAKE IT ANY LESS CREEPY.

She has to become strong to… spank her mother.

Yes, the woman who shows up to Protection Aesthetics with a giant jewel stuck to her head is completely unsuspicious.

Conveniently, Rei is here to sense negative auras.

The monster is here to punch girls so much they want to punch other people.  But here’s Yuichiro to… assertively say things and make Grandpa dither.

Yes, Grandpa, she has a problem with that.  She straight-up just said so.

“This problem here took me three hours to solve.”  Precious baby.  Making even the walls sweatdrop.

“Don’t you think that instructor is strange?”  Maybe that she looks exactly like the monster-mistress that you fought a couple of weeks ago?

And now all of the ladies are punching each other.  Because this will destroy Crystal Tokyo somehow.

Although, technically speaking, Rei’s Grandpa was a Dark Kingdom monster to begin with, so other monsters fighting him should be an odd occurrence even if he has been un-resurrected or whatever.

Oh shit, it’s vampire She-Hulk! Or…something.

That is not a lariat.

“You crushed a slightly lecherous old man’s reason for living!”  Bless, Sailor Moon.

Usagi is much more forgiving than I am.

I would also like to point out that Koan’s sass game is ridiculously strong.

But the thing about these middle-bads is at least they actually do fight sometimes, with powers.

Also, I love the star power wands.

Fighting fire with fire.

Burning Mandala.  That was, uh, definitely not called that in the dub I grew up with.  I forget what it was called, but not that.

I like Tuxedo Mask’s little scoff at Usagi’s idea to join Protection Aesthetics.

Protection Jazz Dance just looks like wearing leotards and lifting your legs while holding hands.

I feel like I slightly remember this episode for some reason.

“I’m thinking of making the color of death all the rage this summer.”  And then Berthier proceeds to list off the other things that black represents as a color and goes over to… touch her cohort’s mouth.  I forget what they’re calling the green one in this version.  Her name was Prisma in the dub I grew up with.  Her.

And then the yellow one, whose name I’m also forgetting, declares that she’s going to make men her slaves with a ribbon.

Calaveras.  Got it.

And Calaveras and Koan proceed to insult each other.  Okay, they’re sisters.

And then Rubeus appears and they plot and plan.

She’s like an evil Energizer Bunny.  That isn’t a bunny.

And she has a hair dryer.

Poor sad big-eyed terrified large-headed children.

What fucking school leaves nine-year-olds by themselves during a thunderstorm?

That’s a dang good question.

Now Chibiusa is having nostalgic colored-pencil memories.  Poor wibbley baby.  Running out into the storm by herself like that will achieve anything.

Has Shingo not realized that the heroine of the video game he’s playing looks exactly like his sister?

Yes, standing on that street corner wibbling will totally help y’all find Chibi-Usa.

Sad music box theme lol.

And Ami and Mako and Minako and Rei are sitting upstairs in a… cafe, possibly, studying.  Ami is doing the studying, Mako is having a soda.  Minako and Rei are smiling and they’re all smiling with piano music in the background.

“Usagi is like coffee grinds, we don’t need her.” Way harsh, Rei.

Melancholy piano music now and Chibi-Usa is squatting underneath an overpass talking to “Puu” through her Luna-P ball.  Talking about how she wants to go home.

Yes, sending a nine-year-old on this sort of mission was definitely a good decision.

It’s almost like they got mission planning advice from Phil Coulson.

Chibiusa broke gravity.  But only selectively.  And now the sexy Energizer Bunny is here to attack.

Also, the Droids at least make more than one noise.

“A drum is a musical instrument.”  No shit, Tuxedo Mask.

“Play a fun folk rhythm and dance to that instead!”  Them’s fighting words.

Thanks for the advice, Tuxedo Mask.

Berthier is so chirpy.

It’s exposition time, y’all.  If Chibiusa can be bothered to explain.  There’s ominous music in the background, and I forget what she actually said in the dub I grew up with, but here we go.  Many dramas.

As Tuxedo Mask gives her a weird Dracula hug.

And then she makes wibbly eyes at him. I’m so uncomfortable lol.

“Splish splash, tux tux, happy happy.”  What a great song that is, Chibiusa.

–your fangirl heroines.

say it to my face

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