Whimsy Wednesday :: in which Absolute Zero Ice Hell comes nowhere close to prevailing and there is a literal green-eyed monster.

17 Dec

These poor cats put up with so much.

Well, that’s what happens when you’re actually a magical cat from a magical dimension.

This episode meant a lot to me as a kid because of my ice skating obsession.  Also the fact that Jupiter was my girl when I was tiny (her uniform had pink on it, I think that might be the thing).

Honestly, Artemis, why would ice skating have to do with her wanting to be a Princess… oh, that’s why.  Because her magical self liked figure skating.  I haven’t seen this one in a while.  I also genuinely do not remember that detail.

Because logic!

I also always think it’s interesting when bad guys swear on their honor.  Like, what honor is that really?

So based on those costumes, I assume they’re ice skating to a medley of Les Msierables songs.  That’s sort of trendy and the girls’ costumes aren’t ever quite right.

Ami-chan and her tiny study notebook.

I also like that there are no male figure skaters.  Because that never happens.

…also, are they heart-eyeing for Misha or Janelyn?  Because I am doubtful that it’s just for Misha honestly.  Because that’s how I watch things.

Oh LOOK another of Mako’s imaginary ex-boyfriends.

I’m just really amused that they’re fangirling over a “Misha.” Thanks for ruining everything, Supernatural.

The only times I ever went figure skating I was more in the camp that Ami and Rei and Minako are in.  But my friends somehow were all as good as Mako and that was the most frustrating thing in the entire world.  So I’m never going to have the ability to live up to my childhood figure skating dreams, but I do still like watching it.

I also think it’s actually pretty clever for the Moon Queen or whatever to have reincarnated Princess Serenity as a girl who actually is nothing like her original self.  So the bad guys can’t find her as easily.


Meanwhile, I was pretty much Usagi. Except I was too scared to leave the wall unless someone was holding onto me. I hate  being on ice skates but it’s pretty to watch.

Probably the only reason I was able to manage to be the others was that I was lucky enough to have a friend who was willing to hold my hand the entire time.

Why are bubbles romantic?

The giant red X on her face, oh my god that’s hilarious.

Of course Mako can lift a guy.  She’s mad strong, why are you surprised?  Y’all have superpowers for goodness’ sake.

“No one in the world has done that successfully yet!” I assume they mean within the context of figure skating, but it still amuses me.


If my friend stayed back to get ~special lessons~ from the ice skating coach, I would probably be worried even if the Dark Kingdom wasn’t something I had to worry about.

Is this Black Swan?

Jealous crazy ice skating monster.  She took about three times as long transforming into monster form as the other monsters do.

“We are the ultimate pair.”

With the excessively dramatic music.  Of course.

Sailor Moon is always very repulsed by the idea that someone might corrupt these precious things.  And the monsters are always like “I don’t give a damn.”

“Death Spiral!”

I also really like that the monsters were hovering sideways in a way that ice skates… do not work unless they were doing very subtle grapevine movements.

And there is Kunzite to… gloat, I guess?  The Dark Kingdom is really big on gloating.

“Absolute Zero Ice Hell!”

If it can be foiled that easily, it probably wasn’t a very good plan.

Welcome to… every plan made by the Dark Kingdom, honestly.

“The shape of his nose is just like the guy who broke my heart!” MUST BE LOVE.

At least in the subtitles it makes more sense than in the dub I grew up with when she just said “he looks like my old boyfriend” about every boy.  This way they’re divvying the characteristics up, or something?

I don’t actually remember this next episode particularly well.  I remember that it exists, but.

Oh, whee, patriarchal obsession with the daughter’s love life that endangers the entire family and the entire roadway.  That always ends well!

Yeah, maybe…ask your daughter about her love life when you’re not operating a moving vehicle at high speeds??

Or at least don’t freak out about it?  I don’t know, at this point the patriarchal obsession with the daughter’s love life is both offensive to me and just narratively trite.

“Do you suppose he’s beginning to realize his memory’s been erased?”


It’s not the cute kind of playing when you’ve just removed your teenage sister’s towel which is standing in for clothing.  Just saying.

Yeah that’s really…like. My brother is shy about undressing in front of us too, but this isn’t like pantsing your sister or anything.

“Why does it stir my heart?”  I don’t know, Mamoru, maybe you’re having subconscious flashbacks because that’s what happens when brains.

Who the heck is Mamoru?

…that will never not be relevant.

This is silly, but I appreciate the “if you fall in love” there. I’m used to it being a “when.”

“Hear me, bitter soul sealed in this lake.”

Ooh, this feels like an episode of Avatar.

“There are times when Usagi seems like a totally different person.”  Because she is, sort of.

“What’s with you, anyway?”  Totally the thing you ask a lake monster.

How will beating Tuxedo Kamen up help the lake monster get her boyfriend back?  Or her not-boyfriend, her object of unreturned affection.  Whatever.

“Another weirdo just appeared!” I’m cracking up.

The in-unison shouts of “Sailor Moon!” also just fill me with this really…. magnificent nostalgia.  Like the certain ways that certain things are said on this show, man.  (Or in the movies.)  They still live in my heart.

Usagi’s crying when things don’t go right is basically how I react when things go wrong, at least internally, so it’s funny to me.

It’s such a good thing that Mars is capable of performing exorcisms.  That’s a very handy talent to have in this life.

As Tuxedo Kamen waves the jealousy demon goodbye.

With two fingers.

This brings up the question.  Where do the girls’ clothes go when they transform?
I thought they were going to say something about their monster senses tingling. Too much Spider-Man, I guess.

–your fangirl heroines.

girl giggles


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