Whimsy Wednesday :: in which Ami does recreational math and there are creepy porcelain dolls.

10 Sep

Fun fact: today is Sailor Mercury’s birthday. I used to know all of the girls’ birthdays by heart, but now I think I only know Mercury Venus Saturn and possibly Jupiter. Anyway. I remember Mercury’s because she is my girl, and tbh Sailor Mercury’s birthday is something I have actually consciously celebrated before. Also it amuses me that because Elizabeth Henstridge’s birthday is tomorrow, Jemma’s birthday is tomorrow, and Jemma is basically Sailor Mercury. (I make this official amendment to my ages-ago Whedonverse/senshi post. Jemma is Mercury. Period.)

“The Flash Of The Monster Camera.”

“A young prodigy” of photography. Also in middle school. I’m still so baffled that they’re in middle school.

Ami-chan sitting there doing either homework or recreational math at lunch. “x minus y times pi r2 equals…” I am making a tumblr collage of cute Ami-chan moments tonight, since it is her birthday. Such as “studying hard is my precious adolescence!”

The Japan Photo Contest. That sounds pretty prestigious. And OH MY GOSH Rei barring them from “acting like a fan girl” and accusing them of not understanding his art.   But he himself is very polite about it. Monsterbait! Being caught from falling off a cliff by Nephrite, who’s possessing his camera.   Must be the titular monster camera.

This time it’s Sirius the demon star picking out the little boy. “With each young girl he photographs, his energy will increase.” “Art is an explosion!” “Any girl will do… I feel the urge to take lots of photographs of girls!”

Awwww but Luna is passing out the communicator, which is basically a tiny flat pink calculator.

“Usagi, the communicator should only be used for serious matters!” She’s so indignant. And she’s busy solving a math problem. And Usagi doesn’t even bother telling Rei. Meanwhile brother Shingo is being a complete mean jerk. Maybe Usagi would be better at school if her family didn’t stereotype her as being dumb all the time. (And if she studied more.)

And then Mamoru gives a stupid speech in the arcade about how a girl’s beauty is on the inside and also she needs to have a kind heart and guts, but Usagi has none of that. Mamoru is not beautiful then either. He’s a jerk. He always winds up arguing with her because he’s confrontational with her.

Why does Shingo always wear the same stupid t-shirt with an anchor on it?

Why does she need to practice pronouncing vowels to be a model?

I also think it’s really interesting that he can only get the energy by photographing teenage girls. He’s a teenage superstar. Although also Haruna-sensei is modeling. Why is Haruna-sensei modeling here?

Oh, at least Naru changed her hairbow.

And Luna’s slinking around spying on things. Because nobody would notice a cat creeping around the hotel swimming pool.

The evil camera makes girls vanish.

Yes, Usagi, you really should make time for saving the world from evil. And I seriously want to know where Naru and Haruna-sensei think they put on weight because they… are skinny.

Also this is the worst swimsuit shoot. All they’re doing is standing there. I mean I don’t like the cheesecakey dumb ones either, but.

It’s a really good thing that the possessed people lose their memories of the events afterward, otherwise a whole lot of people would know Sailor Moon’s true identity.

Yes, it’s Sailor Moon with her built in doilies and hearts and sparkles. And her Sailor Moon Kick. Since when is that a thing. Honestly.

Why do the monsters so often have shoulder pad extensions built into their arms? And the monster is called Kyameran. Because camera. Suddenly everything is blue and pink and purple and white and cloudy. I like when the bad guys come with their own scenery.

And the bad guy blasted Luna, so it’s Sailor Moon’s turn to blast the bad guy. Or whoops here are Mars and Mercury! Time to confuse her with bubbles and exorcise her. Except exorcising her doesn’t work and now Mercury and Mars are in the photographic hell dimension.

Make the monster photograph itself! Apparently that makes the monster melt? Which weakens her enough that a tiara can kill her. And then everyone phases back to this dimension from whatever sparkly hell they were in.

Oh it’s just Zoisite come to taunt Nephrite about how much you suck, no big. Yes, there are endless numbers of people on Earth, Nephrite. Not… all of them live in Tokyo, but y’know…

And Usagi randomly dreams of a pink, rose-trimmed ballgown.

“Shingo’s Love: The Grieving Doll.” I vaguely remember this, maybe? Creepy doll stuff.

Zoisite, do you honestly have nothing better to do than to materialize up in Nephrite’s business and mck him for how much he sucks? Apparently. “Oh dear, you’re defying Queen Beryl?” I also like that it just translated what was just Queen Beryl saying Nephrite’s name as “Damn you, Nephrite.”

How would any of them know what Shingo’s big sister looked like? Genuinely I’m curious.

Awww. Tiny Mika is giving Shingo a doll that won a contest but he’s embarrassed by the teasing and drops it and it breaks. Lesson: don’t be influenced by your peers’ opinions of what is appropriate for you. These two little random girls are good for asking Usagi to talk to her brother.

I also like that it just translated their saying “big sister!” as “thank you.”

This Mika makes porcelain dolls. Or she paints them and dresses them and does their hair. That’s a hobby I didn’t ever think about people actually having, honestly.

Ooh, Nephrite, you’re not gonna get energy for your great ruler by stealing it from a ten-year-old. or however old she is. Younger than twelve, I’d say.

Shingo, why did you just grab your sister’s boob.

Also why does Usagi not have boobs really when she wears her school uniform?

And now Nephrite’s possessing the sad porcelain doll. And now it looks evil.

This is so ominous. It feels extra-ominous because possessed porcelain doll. I saw a horror movie trailer about a possessed porcelain doll today. It was weird. This is also weird.

Why do all of Mika’s dolls have the same color of hair?

Awww. Usagi trying to be a good big sister even though Shingo’s a big jerk. And also sensing that Mika may be possessed. Although she thinks it’s a “doll’s curse” and not a monster.

And he’s making her a Sailor Mon doll that apparently looks like a pig.

And now Mika has crazy eyelashes and lipstick?

And Ami-chan took Luna to the doll museum and Ami-chan is wearing… a weird headband around her forehead. While Rei-chan took Mamoru to the doll exhibit. And he and Nephrite are exchanging bad vibes with each other.

Why did the girls all come to the doll exhibit apparently not aware of each other? That’s what I want to know.

Evil scary mannequin smooshing the Sailor Moon doll. Which offends Sailor Moon. “Even the Girls’ Day dolls are angry!” Yes, Girls’ Day is a thing, but they… haven’t previously established that in the episode at all.

Tiny possessed flying porcelain vampire doll. That’s so cray.

Yes, Mercury. Bubbles. Always confuse your enemy with nondescript bubble fog.

And oh there’s Fire Soul. We hadn’t seen that in a bit.

YES MERCURY SCIENCE THE THING “I’m picking up an energy reading in the monster’s right leg!”

Wow, Tuxedo Kamen didn’t even give a dramatic speech this time. He just showed up, threw a rose, and told Sailor Moon to attack.

Yes, Sailor Moon actually saved you because… Sailor Moon is your sister. So she knew you were there.

–your fangirl heroine.

have done my research

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