Fashion Friday :: when dub names go bad.

15 Dec

eudial

“Eugeal.” WHAT IS THAT NAME IT IS NOT. Eudial is much better. The suffix “geal” sounds like, I don’t know, “congeal.” Which is an ugly word.

cropped cardigan

Sure. I’m rearranging colors as per usual. Cropped Cardigan With Wraparound Ties, ModCloth.

skirt with

Look! This has a skirt on top of red capris. They’re not weird harem pants and the skirt is just red and not black fringe, but look!! Skirt With the Idea Leggings in Burgundy, ModCloth.

banned

Kind of lace-up, ish? Whimsical Wingtips Lace-Up Heel, Banned at ModCloth.

fab

And… sure, okay. That’s the theme here Fab Fanfare Statement Earrings, ModCloth.

–your fangirl heroine.

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Fashion Friday :: from here things get dark.

8 Dec

kaolinite

Because we’re approaching seasons 3-5 where it’s real messed up all the time. Starting with Kaolinite, who is not my favorite because she makes Hotaru my daughter sad, but she has a hell of an aesthetic.

cropped

This is not at all the smoldery slit-up-both-legs maxi dress but it’s got that same vixen kind of vibe going. Cropped Jacket With Retro Peplum, Collectif at ModCloth.

i'll

Balancing her black outfit and her red outfit together, I guess. I’ll Have the Usual Pencil Skirt in Black, ModCloth.

superlative

I don’t know. It makes sense to me that this extra lady would be wearing shoes she constantly had to make sure didn’t fall off of her feet. I couldn’t find any that remotely resemble her canonical shoes that vibed me the right way, so. Superlative Shine Glitter Heel, ModCloth.

wants

I really don’t know, but let’s face it. Kaolinite is like, the stereotype sexy divorcee out to seduce her boss and this seems appropriate. (Disclaimer, if you are divorced and sleep with your boss that’s fine! I’m just talking about the aesthetic stereotype.) Wants and Beads Statement Necklace, ModCloth.

–your fangirl heroine.

unflinching

 

Marvel Monday :: Not THAT Moon Princess [a Crystal Amaquelin fanmix]

27 Nov

not that moon princess front

not that moon princess back

1. Part Of Your World (Carly Rae Jepsen)
But who cares? No big deal. I want more! I wanna be where the people are, I wanna see, wanna see them dancing.

2. The Dog Song (Nellie McKay)
I’m just a walkin’ my dog, singin’ my song, strollin’ along. Yeah it’s just me and my dog catchin’ some sun, we can’t go wrong.

3. Black and Gold (Ellie Goulding)
‘Cause if you’re not really here then the stars don’t even matter. Now I feel too tall, we all fear, but it’s all just a bunch of matter. ‘Cause if you’re not really here, then I don’t want to be either I want be next to you. Black and gold, black and gold, black gold.

4. Mama Do (Pixie Lott)
There’s something ’bout the night and the way it hides all the things I like, little black butterflies deep inside me.

5. Wicked Words (Melanie Martinez)
Now cast away your wicked words, I don’t wanna hear you sigh no more, not interested in those grudges that you keep. Now your story may be hard, oh, there’s a lesson to be learned by you, talk ain’t worth a lot when it’s so cheap.

6. Look What You Made Me Do (Taylor Swift)
But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time. Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time. I’ve got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined, I check it once, then I check it twice, oh! Ooh, look what you made me do.

7. Seventeen (Alexa Vega, Repo! The Genetic Opera)
I’ve always longed for true affection (seventeen!) but you compare me to a corpse! (Seventeen!) Stay with the dead, I’m joining the living! (Seventeen!) ’cause I’m freer than sixteen!

8. Walk This Way (MØ)
I’m a post-teen monster, bold and blind. From the top of my head to the shaking ground, blame the billboards ’cause they’ve let me down. I’m a symphony of the world gone wild.

9. White Light (Shura)
Do you wanna fly me miles away and be alone, alone? ‘Cause I don’t mind if we never go, never go home, stepping out of the dark. You are a white light stepping out of the dark, you are a white light but you cover it up.

10. Give Us A Little Love (Fallulah)
Where do we belong, where did we go wrong? If there’s nothing here, why are we still here? Leave it by its pain, leave it all alone, if I never turn, I will never grow. Keep the door ajar when I’m coming home, I will try, can’t you see I’m trying?

11. Run Rumspringa (Alex Winston)
In the world you said to me was wrong, the world you said I don’t belong. I don’t need you bad and all, I will sever off, cut the loss and go. And I don’t know if I’m sad and I, I will carry on, cut you off and go. I will run, run, run rumspringa.

Not THAT Moon Princess at YouTube.

–your fangirl heroine.

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Spoiler Alert Sunday :: her thoughts on Lady Bird

26 Nov

(I saw it too, and echo this. I just wanted her to phrase things because she felt them more articulately.)

I don’t want to say too much about this movie, because I don’t think it’s the kind of movie you should talk too much about. It doesn’t have a complicated plot, or shocking twists, or flashy cinematography. It’s just a story about a girl and her mother in the early 2000s and how they talk to each other and hurt each other and lie to each other and love each other.

 

I think what’s most interesting to me about this movie is that it’s written by someone – Greta Gerwig, also the director – who so clearly remembers being a teenager. I’ve been reading a lot of young adult novels recently, and there are some that I do finish, but that grate on me because they sound too much like An Adult Writing a Teenager. My favorite kinds of stories with teeangers are stories where teenagers say horrible things, make huge mistakes, and are the narrative doesn’t excuse or coddle them. The thing about teenagers is that many of them are very smart, and say very smart and/or very frank things, but they will also think, say, and do some truly terrible or stupid things. (A quick plug here: two of the best novels I’ve read recently that capture what terrific fuckups teens can be, while still remembering that they are sometimes very smart, are Ramona Blue by Julie Murphy and Afterworlds by Scott Westerfeld.) Anyway. Lady Bird is an authentic movie because its lead character, as well as some of her friends and acquaintances, say and do a lot of cruel, assholish, or just plain stupid things. But they also do and say some clever, kind, and profound things. The best kind of teenager-centric stories remember both of these elements and neither make teens into savants nor irredeemable assholes.

The name Lady Bird is one that our protagonist, Christine “Lady Bird” McPherson, has chosen for herself. We don’t see the process of her choosing it, or even where it comes from. It doesn’t matter. She insists on it, up to and including scratching out her given name on a call sheet to replace it with her chosen name. She and her mother fight about this, and about a thousand other stupid little things, and some bigger things too. (I really don’t want to spoil too much here.) I’m lucky to have a pretty good relationship with my mom, for the most part, but I could recognize elements in their relationship all the same. Both of them are headstrong, stubborn people who don’t really want to hurt each other, but who sometimes do it anyway because they forget to be careful or because their need to say something to the other is more important than thinking before they speak. It’s authentic in a way that I haven’t seen done in mother-daughter movies before – the handful that I’ve seen, I find sort of precious in a way that I can’t really stomach. (Brave is the exception here.) But in this movie, you can see how they try to love each other but don’t always succeed. It’s masterfully done.

I don’t think, at this point, it’s really necessary to point out that this movie absolutely smashes the Bechdel Test, but, well, it does. I think there are perhaps two scenes where men talk to each other? Almost all of the important relationships are between women. It’s very refreshing. However, this movie is very much about whiteness and white lower-class families – Lady Bird’s brother Miguel is Mexican and his girlfriend Shelly is black, and there are a few unnamed or briefly appearing characters of color, but for the most part it’s a pretty white cast. That’s fine, but it does influence the story.

Anyway. This is not really a movie that you need to know a lot about before you go in. It’s just a movie that you should experience. And if Saoirse Ronan doesn’t finally get an Oscar out of this, I will be very angry and never shut up about it ever.

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Fashion Friday :: don’t f*** your father.

24 Nov

Black_Lady

This is my message to Black Lady, aka dark!aged up!AU!Chibiusa, who definitely tried to fuck her father. Whatever it’s still a look.

rosy romance

There are no dresses I like so I’m going nonliteral. This sort of has a neckline, anyway. Rosy Romance Velvet Tank Top, ModCloth.

edge

THIS ISN’T A PHASE MOM THIS IS WHO I AM. Edge Your Bets Pencil Skirt, ModCloth.

500

Matching pink velvet to pink velvet seems about right. 500 Days of Stunner Velvet Heel in Mauve, ModCloth.

stocking

The fact that the tops of these won’t be visible under the skirt isn’t the point. The point is the #aesthetic. Stocking Sophisticate Thigh Highs, ModCloth.

i'll cats

And a la Luna-P. I’ll Cats You Later Crossbody Bag, ModCloth.

–your fangirl heroine.

ohdonteven-1

Fashion Friday :: insert evil anime laugh here.

17 Nov

esmeraude

Vital to Esmeraude, which is old French for “emerald” by the way.

lady love

I’ve used this before but I don’t care this color is perfect. Lady Love Song Velvet Dress in Emerald, ModCloth.

braid

Different kind of stones but at least they’re still stones. Braid Behavior Beaded Necklace, ModCloth.

button on

Not particularly fancy but a good color. Button on the Ritz Heel, ModCloth.

in no

And for our bit of pink, lipstick! Because, surprise surprise, there weren’t any fans to be had. In No Time Matte Mini Lipstick Set – Vol. 2, ModCloth.

–your fangirl heroine.

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Marvel Monday :: our thoughts on Inhumans

13 Nov

So, friends, we climbed this whole Inhumans and somehow we survived.

We did this for you, you guys. Someone had to watch it so they could tell everyone else what they weren’t missing (or, possibly, what little relevant things they might be missing – spoiler, virtually nothing.)

This was a very bad show about some very bad people (and two good people and a good dog, and a couple of decent people, I guess) and full disclosure, we were drinking through most of it. That was really the only way to do it (the couple of episodes watched without at least some Mike’s were nigh unbearable). So let’s just talk about the people… because there was almost no actual plot between episodes 2-7 that couldn’t have been intuited from actions in episodes 1 and 8. Seriously.

Inhumans follows a colony of, well, Inhumans who live in a special secret city, Attilan, located under a dome that makes them invisible inside a very large crater on the moon. Why did these Inhumans live on the moon? They’d fled Earth for… some reason… after being persecuted…? A long time ago? (Whether or not they knew there were other Inhumans still present on Earth is vague. They learned, but it wasn’t really clear. Why some stayed but some went is also not clear. It couldn’t have been that all the Inhumans who were too unusual-looking to pass for human went to the moon because, uh, terrigenesis created Inhumans who looked unusual on Earth all the time [see also, Gordon, Raina, Lash] and most of the Inhumans who lived on the moon looked normal aside from their terrible fashion choices. You would think they would attempt to explain it. No, not really. You just have to press on.)

These Inhumans are ruled by a monarchy who enforces a completely horrifying caste system based on the usefulness of an individual’s post-terrigenesis gift. There’s none of that “oh, everyone is beautiful and useful” kind of stuff like (pre-antagonist) Jiaying preached to her Inhuman pals at Afterlife in SHIELD season 2. No, these fuckers make terrigenesis a public ceremony held in the throne room, after which someone’s gifts are immediately evaluated by the Genetic Counsel (!!!) and they’re assigned either to an upper-class life or working in the mines. What do they mine on the moon? We have no idea. But they mine something. Apparently without affecting the geology or atmosphere of the moon as a whole.

Those two paragraphs were about the social system instead of the individuals, but trust me, it’s important. It means that going into this world, you don’t have a lot of sympathy for the ruling class. Black Bolt (Anson Mount), the king, is king despite the fact that he murdered the previous king and queen, his parents, on accident with the use of his devastating powers: he generates terrible seismic waves and instant death when he opens his mouth. As a result, he doesn’t speak, which could have been really interesting… if they had, say, gotten an actual mute actor. Or at the very least actually used sign language for his communication. They didn’t. They made up a fake version of sign language, allegedly with a consultant, but it came off highly simplified and more often than not foolish-looking. “I can’t… use ASL because he’s not from [Earth],” Mount apparently said. Well you live on the moon but speak English, why not just use ASL too? This is not the only baffling thing about Black Bolt, though. He is inexplicably more than ten years older than his brother Maximus (Iwan Rheon) in present day despite the fact that they’re virtually indistinguishable in flashbacks. There are almost no scenes indicating any of Black Bolt’s actual capabilities to rule Attilan. There is an eleventh hour reveal that he’s been keeping massive strategy secrets from his wife Medusa (Serinda Swan) and the rest of their family… but after she confronts him once about it, everyone just shrugs and goes on their way. His much-feared gift is used exactly… twice, once in flashbacks of him killing his parents (which, by the way, we find out was after he thought they signed him up for brain surgery, which wasn’t even them, it was his jealous shitbag brother forging their signatures). Oh, and they never said it in the show – but his full name? Is Blackagar Boltagon.

His relationship with Medusa suffers from an exaggerated version of the problem that many MCU relationships suffer from: tell, not show. There is exactly one incredibly uncomfortable scene of the two of them in bed together, Medusa’s famed and prehensile long hair draped over all of their naked bits ‘cause it’s ABC, and it’s not overly sexual but it’s uncomfortable because it just looks so staged. When their Apple Watches ring and interruptus their coitus, it’s honestly a relief. Soon after they’re separated for a bunch of episodes, during which they try to find each other without actually expressing any emotional reasons to long for each other, and then they come back together and it’s just as stiff as it was before. This might be a narrative flaw – we just didn’t have any reasons for why they actually cared about each other. It was also implied that they were an arranged marriage, born out of some weird political something (Medusa’s parents were activists…? Who fought to challenge the class system…? How, we don’t know, but that’s who they were, apparently, and then they died, and somehow Medusa was betrothed to Black Bolt as a… peace offering? In the process also losing any political affinity she had with her parents, mind you – she doesn’t give a damn about the poor miners or whatever until she has to for narrative reasons). How or why this came about isn’t specified.

Medusa herself has the Inhuman gift of the aforementioned prehensile hair. It’s down to the floor and then some, it’s Halloween-store-wig orange, it clashes terribly with the shade of lavender that all of her royal outfits seem to be, and it’s incredibly useful for not only covering naked bits but also picking things up and attacking people… which is why Maximus, in his first-episode coup, has one of his lackeys shave it all off. It’s understandable that Medusa feels anxious about this sudden loss of power… but we as an audience have built up almost zero sympathy for her as a character at this point, so it kind of just seems like all of the hype was a chain-yank. Also, when they shave her head it looks disastrous, but in the next scene she’s got a perfectly-maintained buzz cut and once she’s on Earth she could pass for a perfectly normal woman with a buzz cut and it’s not a big deal? Also, hair grows back, my guy. So she spends seven episodes of the series having no powers, but just walking around getting into Wacky Situations (there’s a beat with an ATM that was funny… when it appeared in Dollhouse ten years ago) and befriending a wacky astrophysicist named Louise (Ellen Woglom) who probably falls in love with her, but gods only know why because she’s not a good person, Medusa. Louise is fine though. She’s one of the decent people. She’s just wacky and Really Adamant that people live on the moon even though her colleagues are like “that’s silly, woman” – good thing Medusa helps her Prove Them Wrong! Kind of. (Medusa doesn’t actually prove this. Medusa proves that her sister Crystal [Isabelle Cornish] has a teleporting dog, but apparently this is proof that there are people on the moon too?) Oh, and they never said it in the show – but her full name? Is Medusalith Amaquelin. (Never mind that THEY ARE ON THE DAMN MOON THERE IS NO REASON FOR THEM TO KNOW ABOUT MEDUSA AND THEREFORE HAVE GIVEN HER THAT APPROPRIATE NAME BECAUSE OF HER HAIR THAT THEY DIDN’T KNOW SHE’D TERRIGENESIS INTO HAVING AS A MAGICAL POWER – but this is a problem with the comics too, not just this disaster show.)

Medusa was also apparently friends with Black Bolt’s brother Maximus. They keep saying that, and show one tiny flashback of their younger selves approximate to each other, but who the hell knows. So many things are thrown into the air on this show but not actually explained.

Maximus, meanwhile, is an even more terrible person. This was pretty much a given considering Iwan Rheon – who my mother says is actually a very nice man and I trust her, but he’s never going to be cast as anything but a shithead ever again. He’s from an Inhuman family, but somehow his terrigenesis turned him… into a regular human…? But since he’s a royal he doesn’t have to work in the mines, he’s just constantly present at court and sulking because everyone thinks less of him for being a human (but also because he’s a bad person). He organizes a coup under the pretense of liberating the miners and overthrowing the caste system, which isn’t a bad idea, but he sends monsters after some Inhumans who traveled to Earth, then attacks his brother and sister-in-law, causing them to teleport to Earth too, then tries to blackmail his sister-in-law’s sister (I have no idea what that makes her familially), then attacks others, uses people in just as bad of a way as the caste system has used them, collaborates with an Earth scientist (in the grand tradition of shit ABC Marvel scientists, a Scot) to study Inhuman powers in a way that causes the scientist to work with murdery techniques, tries to go through terrigenesis again, and threatens to blow up the entirety of Attilan if his brother doesn’t concede to his demands. I’ve probably missed something, but rest assured. He’s a bad person. He doesn’t actually feed people to dogs, nor does he actually rape anyone, but he emotionally does the former and comes damn close to the latter. The best part about him is that his accent is a hilariously awful mishmash of every UK accent imaginable, and it’s fun to punctuate his sentences with a bad impression of him saying “I have an accent.” (When I do this it comes out mostly Scottish.) Oh, and they never said it in the show – but his full name? Is Maximus Boltagon.

And then there’s Crystal, Medusa’s little sister (so little that I originally thought Crystal was Medusa’s daughter – but no, she’s just Medusa’s surrogate daughter since their parents are dead of plot device). Crystal is one of the good people. Crystal just wants to be where the people are, wants to see, wants to see ‘em dancing, etc. There’s actually a scene in the first episode where Crystal is supposed to be at the terrigenesis ceremony and instead is off frolicking with her giant teleporting bulldog Lockjaw (he is the good dog – he is not good animation but he is a very good dog and every time he appears we cooed at him), echoing the opening of The Little Mermaid pretty directly. She also earned the nickname Crystal Swift, because she’s a teenage girl and it’s not her fault and occasionally she’s naive but she’s well-intentioned but sometimes she tries to be angry and it’s funnier than it should be even though I feel for her more than I feel for any of these other assholes. (“The old Crystal can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Because she’s DEAD!”) Crystal’s Inhuman power is essentially being the Avatar: she controls the four elements (earth, water, fire, air). Her journey through the series is learning that humans (gasp) don’t suck entirely, and exploring Earth, sort of. She also explores a generic surfer, but later when Medusa asks her about this, if she misses him or regrets leaving him, her answer is “…I guess.” She’s a good person who actually makes active efforts to help people. And as mentioned, she has the best stupid giant dog. Oh, and they never said it in the show – but her full name? Is Crystalia Amaquelin. (I realized how dumb this was, because literally terrigenesis is achieved through terrigen crystals, so her parents were the most uncreative ever… but then again, in the comics Crystal and Pietro Maximoff have a daughter who they name Luna because she [like other Inhumans, apparently] was born on the moon. So I guess that’s just a thing.)

The other good character is Gorgon (Eme Ikwuakor), who unfortunately suffers from “mythical kind gentle simple big black man” syndrome. (He’s not black in the comics, so I’m sure they thought they were being diverse… but it was a poor decision. Gorgon literally has hooves.) He’s a big sweetie and befriends a bunch of Hawaiian surfers, learning lessons about why friendship is magic… which is sure something he hadn’t learned before, because his closest relationship is with his “cousin” Karnak (Ken Leung) – they’re also allegedly cousins of the royal family, which is never explained, despite Gorgon being black, Karnak being Asian, and the other royals being outstandingly white. It’s fine, I’m all for diversity, but it’s also another plothole. Karnak is clearly in something like love with Gorgon, despite regularly sleeping with and insulting women all around Attilan and also finding a marijuana-growing nonsequitorial fuckbuddy in Hawaii, but he’s also an insufferable douchebag. He’s rude to most people, inexplicably including Gorgon who he also severely cares for, and it’s implied that this is because his Inhuman gift is essentially that he’s magical Sherlock Holmes. Like, BBC Sherlock, with the stupid imaginary mind palace shit.  He also tried to resurrect Gorgon after Gorgon’s incredibly unfortunate death (which also made minimal sense because you’d think an Inhuman capable of great feats of strength would not be killed by a heavy impact, but whatever) by putting him through a second terrigenesis, which was exactly what the royals were trying to prevent Maximus from doing to himself because it would be incredibly dangerous and not end well. Spoiler, it didn’t. Gorgon went from friendly buddy to… barely coherent rage monster, so one bad stereotype to an even worse one. But it’s not his fault.

There are countless other things about this show that are worthy of dragging. (Inhuman side characters named Bronaja, Loyolis, and Iridia! Countless holes in mythology! Way too much brutality against Inhumans, including those of color like poor Auran [Sonya Balmores], Maximus’ head soldier – she wasn’t a good person, really, but her regenerative gift made her basically cannon fodder a lot of the time and it was uncomfortable. Etc.) But all you need to know is this: there were some Inhumans on the moon. They were mostly bad. Now they all live in Hawaii because Ramsay Bolton blew up their secret space city in a hissy fit.

Let’s hope nobody but Crystal and Lockjaw ever resurface in any other properties.

–your fangirl heroines.

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