Music Monday :: 6 of my rage albums

By “rage album,” I mean one that I turn on when I am for some reason quite piqued.  Not just sad and mopey, or even nosewrinkly and annoyed, genuinely needing to vent.  There is little coincidence that these are mostly sets of music that I can at least partially sing along to when I am alone and my singing will not hurt anyone’s ears, and in fact that could really be one of the things that this list means too.

6. a collection of unreleased Ellie Goulding songs
This is not a proper album, but it is nonetheless a go-to.  This is a tricky business, because about half of the songs in this collection are not particularly good for this purpose (“Fly,” for example, is rather light and introspective) and even the ones that are aren’t explicitly ragey.  I mentioned a bit back how much I adore “Black and Gold,” for example, and the thing is — that’s not an angry song.  It’s actually kind of strangely devoted and sweet if you read the lyrics.  But it is somehow also cathartic.

5. La Roux, La Roux
Again, I’m… not exactly sure why this works.  I think being alone and trying to sing in my upper register (which is probably even worse than my lower register, but as long as nobody has to listen, it doesn’t hurt anyone, right?) in a British accent is helpful somehow.  It might also be songs like “I’m Not Your Toy,” that might be part of it.

4. the Repo! The Genetic Opera soundtrack
Oh my goodness, but this helps too.  This one has actual legitimate angry moments, lots of them (I mean, really, when you’re angry is it better to go punch a pillow or pretend to be teenage-angsty-with-a-fake-blood-disease Alexa Vega?) and some more of that upper register mess.  Also I enjoy the concentration it takes to sing group numbers in a musical by myself.  Some of the tracks I don’t sing all of the parts (this is because I don’t sing most of the guys most of the time) but, well, I’ve mentioned my exceptionally self-satisfying ability to do all but the opera of “Chase the Morning” by myself, for example.

3. Show Your Bones, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
This is probably the only one of these that I don’t sing along to ever.  This is my “I am at home and I am doing something but I am also aggravated” album.  I’m not sure why it’s this one and not any of the other Yeah Yeah Yeahs albums, I listen to all of them regularly, but this is the one I turn on when I’m in a mood.

2. the Spring Awakening cast recording
Always and forever and always.  This has been true since I was in high school, and as such I know every single word of this album (and also some of the choreography, she admitted sheepishly).  Obviously this one is full of plenty of rage, so that’s a big part of the helping, but it is also a full emotional journey, which is also cathartic.

1. Girl Talk, Kate Nash
She said, surprising nobody.  I cannot even begin to explain how many times this has been a helpful album for me since I acquired it.  How many times I have been aggravated by a stranger or acquaintance and then at the next possible opportunity gone and blasted “All Talk” or “Rap for Rejection” and felt quite a lot better.

–your fangirl heroine.

Theatre Thursday :: examples of the musical theatre Bechdel Test? (M-Z)

Same rules as last week.

Mamma Mia! by… ABBA: a lot of the songs by a lot of women.
Marie Christine by Michael John LaChiusa: “Way Back to Paradise,” sung by Marie and Lisette, “Lover Bring Me Summer,” sung by Olivia and Grace.
The Music Man by Meredith Wilson: “Pickalittle (Talk-a-Little),” sung by Eulalie Mackecknie Shinn, Maud Dunlop, Ethel Toffelmier, Alma Hix, Mrs. Squires and the ladies of River City.*
The Phantom of the Opera by Andrew Lloyd Webber: “Angel of Music,” sung by Meg and Christine.
Rent by Jonathan Larson: “Take Me or Leave Me,” sung by Maureen and Joanne.
Repo! The Genetic Opera by Zdunich and Smith: “Chase the Morning,” sung by Mag, Shilo, and Marni.
The Sound of Music by Rogers and Hammerstein: “Maria,” sung by Sister Berthe, Sister Sophia, Sister Margaretta, and the Mother Abbess.
Spring Awakening by Sheik and Sater: “The Dark I Know Well,” sung by Martha and Ilse.*
Thoroughly Modern Millie by Tesori and Scanlan: “How the Other Half Lives,” sung by Millie and Miss Dorothy.
[title of show] by Bowen and Bell: “What Kind of Girl is She?” and “Secondary Characters,” sung by Susan and Heidi.
West Side Story by Leonard Bernstein: “America,” sung by Anita, Rosalia and the Shark girls.
Wicked: “What is This Feeling?,” “One Short Day,” “Defying Gravity,” and “For Good,” all sung by Elphaba and G(a)linda (with various accompaniment).*
The Wild Party by Michael John LaChiusa: “Best Friend,” sung by Queenie and Kate.
Wonderful Town by Comden and Green: “Ohio,” sung by Ruth and Eileen.
Xanadu by Lynne and Ferrar: “Strange Magic,” sung by Melpomene, Calliope and Kira.

–your fangirl heroine.

Fictional Friday :: 6 narratives of disillusionment

The narrative of disillusionment is something that came up in one of my literature classes this week: one of the examples we discussed in class (I didn’t write them down, as it was a tangential discussion and therefore not requiring of record, but it did get me thinking) was The Great Gatsby, and what was meant by it was a story where central character(s) are summarily disillusioned, their dreams and perceptions destroyed, etcetera.  All of the examples that came up were from classic literature, which makes sense because it is a literature class, but I was nonetheless saddened by this, because my mind went decidedly elsewhere the second someone said the word “disillusionment.”  (Three guesses, and it will appear on this list, of course.)  So this is a list of some of my favorite narratives of disillusionment, be they from television, movies, theater, or novels you probably won’t be reading in a standard literature class.  (Oh and because of the nature of this, I think I’m going to just put a spoiler warning on here?  I.e. people who watch the show but haven’t read the books, turn away?)

6. Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
Wherein Billy, aka Dr. Horrible, has dreams of being a great supervillain, changing the world through his nefarious but originally not deadly plots, then decides to kill Captain Hammer after inadvertently causing him to meet and romance Billy’s great love, Penny, then accidentally kills Penny instead.  Technically through Penny’s murder Billy achieves his original goal, joining the Evil League of Evil, but it is tainted by the violent murder of Penny; he is disillusioned about said original goal.

5. Spring Awakening
(Also applies to the original play, of course, but as the plots are so close and I do know the musical better, that’s mostly what I’m talking about.)  Wherein Melchior has dreams of being intellectual and challenging authority, wherein Moritz has dreams of just getting by, wherein Wendla has dreams of understanding her body and just being happy, wherein everyone else has their own dreams too but they’re a bit more inferred, and then these dreams are all systematically ruined by the cold world around them and societal mores and whatnot.  Moritz is so disillusioned that he kills himself, Wendla is probably disillusioned right before she is basically murdered in order to protect her good name, Melchior is disillusioned by the deaths of his two friends (which he feels to some extent culpable in).

4. Special Topics in Calamity Physics
Wherein Blue has dreams of intellectual success and staying in one place for a while and also she is secure in the knowledge that her father is an intelligent and decent man, then she gets somewhat derailed by social pursuits while staying in one place, then that one place leads to her realization that her father is… well, not so decent and then other realizations as well.  She is disillusioned about everything she has ever believed, though she does go on to pursue intellectual things anyhow.

3. Wicked
(Book and musical both.)  Wherein Elphaba has dreams of being a great witch and helping Oz, then discovers the various shady dealings done in the Emerald City, then lashes out, then is/isn’t killed for her supposed crimes.  Also wherein G(a)linda has dreams of being well-known/liked and important, then is friends with Elphaba, then has to deal with the repercussions thereof to whatever extent.  And then the patterns of disillusionment continue in the sequels.  Both girls are disillusioned about their life goals and their relationships, to each other, to themselves, to the world as a whole.

2. Almost Famous
Wherein William has dreams of being a rock and roll journalist, then gets to do this, then discovers that his rockstar heroes are not very lovely people sometimes, then almost has his journalism career ruined by a lie from the member of the band he thought was a good person before the rescinding and reconciliation.  Also wherein Penny has dreams of happiness in her life as a Band-Aide and realizes those cannot be achieved.  He is disillusioned about this life path and about his fantasies overall; she is disillusioned about the lifestyle and her role in it.

1. A Song of Ice and Fire / Game of Thrones
Wherein Ned (who had many other dreams once upon a time) has dreams of being honorable in service to the realm and his family, then is murdered for this.  Wherein Catelyn (who had many other dreams once upon a time) has dreams of acquiring justice for her family and reuniting with those of them that are still alive, then is murdered before achieving this.  Wherein Sansa has dreams of being a lady and marrying a prince, then is betrothed to possibly the douchiest prince ever, who does her harm in just about every way; wherein Sansa then has dreams of returning to her family, then is instead hauled off by a guy who had the hots for her mom and made to be a pawn in his game (which includes murdering her aunt).  Wherein Arya has dreams of swordfighting and other such interesting things, then is made to have to do those things in order to survive; wherein Arya then has dreams of returning to her family, then ends up many other dangerous places instead.  Wherein Bran has dreams of being a knight, then loses use of his legs; wherein Bran then has dreams of his family being together, then sees these destroyed systematically.  Wherein Jon Snow has dreams of being honorable and not being treated like crap for being a bastard, then winds up doing something much less heroic than he initially thought, then discovers that he does need to do heroic things but not what he expected; wherein Jon Snow swears his honor to the Night’s Watch, then at least metaphorically loses it by getting with Ygritte, then loses Ygritte and winds up back at the Night’s Watch and has to make unpleasant compromises, then the fifth book which I haven’t read yet.  Wherein Tyrion once had a dream of being in love with a woman, then learned it was all a deception; wherein Tyrion has dreams of being treated well by his family and the world, but largely is not, then does things that send him on the run because of it.  Wherein Daenerys has dreams of just going home (and having a home), then is sold into marriage, then falls in love against odds, then loses that love, then finds some other dreams involving retaking the Seven Kingdoms and whatnot, then is betrayed a bunch of times, then has to learn about the world and its cruelties, then the fifth book.  Wherein Jaime has dreams of forever being a glorious knight and also dreams of being with Cersei, then loses both his sword hand and his driving relationship with his beloved sister.  (Also possibly something with Brienne.)  Wherein Brienne has dreams of being one of Renly’s knights, then sees Renly murdered; wherein Brienne is then given a quest to achieve, then stumbles across many horrible things.  Wherein Cersei has dreams of being the queen/her children and family in power, then sees these things fall apart in front of her.  Etcetera.  Etcetera.  Every single character, including ones not in this paragraph, is disillusioned, because everything that anyone loves will be taken from them in a painful fashion.

–your fangirl heroine.

Theatre Thursday :: platonic friendships and Broadway musicals

I figured, well, romance or at least sexual tension is usually involved in musicals, but sometimes, like I mentioned with Wicked, there is a platonic relationship that is also important (or as in the case of Wicked, definitely more important).  So I thought I’d take a look at that.  I’ve got the longest-running musicals open in another tab, and I’m just going through it non-scientifically and listing friendships in musicals I am somewhat familiar with.

• Les Mis has the barricade boys, they’re buddies.
• Phantom has Christine and Meg, for the duration of a song anyway.  They don’t interact that much after that, but they do have “Angel of Music,” and that counts for something?
• I suppose you can count Simba and Timon and Pumbaa in The Lion King?
• Some of the dancers (Bobby and Sheila, Paul and Morales) in A Chorus Line are friends.
• I suppose the household objects befriend Belle in Beauty and the Beast?
• Rent is definitely about friendships!  I mean, I know you can find people on the internet who ship just about every combination of these characters, and there are definitely romantic plots, but I’d argue that, for example, Mark and Roger as a friendship is of close to equal significance as Mimi and Roger as a romantic relationship.
• Wicked is getting listed here, too, because really.  Wicked, despite its love (triangle) plot, is actually the greatest platonic (well, textually – I am of the internet, I know there are extrapolators) love story in musical theatre history.
• The characters in Grease are allegedly friends.  They’re kind of crummy friends, because they’re always making fun of each other for showing characteristics that go against the grain of the group, but technically, they’re friends.  I guess.
• If you’re talking about friendships amongst blood family, Fiddler has some of that with the sisters probably.
• I guess I should also take the time to awkwardly mention Rocky Horror, where nobody is friends really, but if you squint Columbia and Magenta are.  (And there is also subtext here, yep.)
• Hairspray has a lot of friends!  Tracy is friends with Penny, she’s friends with Seaweed and his sister and mom, etcetera.
• The Avenue Q characters are such good friends that they raise money to buy one of them a monster school!
• And Spring Awakening is not on this list, because it is not one of the 32 longest-running musicals, but I am going to mention it anyway, because while Melchior/Wendla is important to the plot, definitely, Melchior and Moritz as buddies is also super-important.  And though you only get the girls being buddies in/before “My Junk,” really, my friends and I definitely extrapolated a lot more cute sweet platonic ladyfriendship out of their little group.

Also interesting to note is that aside from Wicked and Fiddler where they’re sisters and I suppose Hairspray to an extent, most of the ladyfriendships are largely extrapolated out of only one scene.  Hm.

–your fangirl heroine.

Music Monday :: 5 of my “feelings” albums

“Feelings” in the internetism-type way, where saying “feelings” is used to summarize a whole collection of intense emotions directed often at things other than one’s real life, though sometimes inspired by one’s real life, and the word is not always properly conjugated to suit the rest of the sentence (I don’t know why, that’s just the convention I’ve observed).  These are albums that I play when I’m seeking catharsis or am already sad or occasionally cranky.  Mind you, they’re not the only ones, but they are tried and true.

5. August and Everything After by Counting Crows
This is probably my original feelings album, as I’ve been using it on-off for this purpose since the eighth grade.  Any Counting Crows album will do in a pinch, but this one has the song “Anna Begins,” which for some reason has always been a go-to feelings song for me in the extreme.  I really don’t know why; I imagine it has to do somewhat with the lyrics, as it always does, but I’m not quite sure.

4. The Sound of White by Missy Higgins
On a Clear Night has distinctly feelings songs, to be sure (it starts with “Where I Stood,” which is pretty much devastating, for example).  The Ol’ Razzle Dazzle has a few feelings songs on it too.  And see, it’s not like The Sound of White is entirely comprised feelings songs (while “Scar” isn’t a happy song necessarily, it’s relatively chipper, and “Casualty” is more assertive-fierce than anything in my opinion) but for some reason it became a feelings album.  The above Counting Crows album is often used when I’m dealing with RL things, but this one is used quite often for dealing with fictional emotional outpourings.

3. The Memory Machine by Julia Stone
This is one of my Going To Bed albums, because I’m one of those people who can’t fall asleep without music on (usually or well), but it’s the one I save for when I’m Going To Bed and have been thinking about feelings stuff.  If I’m somehow frustrated with school or with a person in my life, or if I’m just worn out emotionally, or if I’ve been watching particularly devastating television programs or films.  And again, it’s not all feelings songs, and it’s not as if By the Horns doesn’t have a few of those too.  Maybe it’s just that several of the songs on this one are associated in my mind with particular fictional instances of feelings.

2. the Spring Awakening cast recording
I used to listen to this an average of four times a week, and while I don’t listen to it as often anymore, I still love it like no other.  While on my recent and alluded to vacation, I found myself exceptionally fed up more than once; it wasn’t until a two-hour drive that I realized how best to deal with this aggravation.  Sitting in the backseat and eating potato chips for dinner, I flipped to the Spring Awakening album on my iPod.  And yeah, once I was done I felt better.  Because this is a cast album, it comes with a plot, and plots have characters, and when I can channel my whatever into characters, somehow it’s easier to get out of my system.  It has a beginning, middle, and end, and it encompasses happy, sad, longing, angry, relieved, all of it.

1. cheating a bit, but anything that Glen Hansard has touched.
Most recently, as you know, his solo album; I’ve also been known to deal with feelings through both Swell Season albums and the Once soundtrack.  And there’s just something wonderful about all of it for this reason.

–your fangirl heroine.

Things in Print Thursday :: 6 coffee table books I own

As an English major, I can expect that my peers and professors may, in fact, ask me what books I have bought lately.  It hasn’t happened in a while, but I have come to actively dread the question: the truth is, while I reread a lot of books, I have to be careful about allocating my recreational reading time.  I’m reading so many books for school, after all.  I have to be selective.  (This is probably why two of the books I have bought in the past few months were parts of the Song of Ice and Fire series, another was a comic book, another was the fourth in the Heartsick series [which I had been putting off reading for ages], and two were books that are on the list I’m about to make.)  I’m not particularly proud of this, but at the same time, I like to think that I’m developing a decent collection of “coffee table books,” large, often hardcover publications that can pertain to a wide variety of informational subjects.

Most of the coffee table books I grew up with, for example, pertained to roses or other garden-related material.  Or rocks.  Other people have them about traveling to various exotic locations, about classical music, about athletics.  My collection, unsurprisingly, is entirely pertaining to various films, television programs, and theatrical events that I enjoy; it’s fairly small so far, but seriously, the hardcover ones are expensive.  They’ve almost always been gifts.

Also sometimes called things like “companion books,” or colloquially referred to by fans as the “so-and-so-topic Bible,” these books are a wealth of information.  Pictures, histories, interviews.  Scripts if you’re lucky.  And I’ve spent far too many hours to be healthy poring over them.  I do not regret this information.

So.

6. The Cabin in the Woods: The Official Visual Companion, by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard
Pictures, pictures everywhere.  Spoilers galore (I bought it in the company of friends who had yet to see the film, and thusly guarded it protectively; I’m pretty sure the only pages I actually displayed for them were ones featuring the lovely faces of Fran Kranz and Amy Acker, partaking not in spoilers).  Oh, and the full screenplay.  Yesss.

5. Serenity Official Visual Companion, by Joss Whedon
I have yet to acquire either of the Firefly official visual companions, mostly because the place I’ve been finding these (or at least found the Cabin one and the Serenity one for reasonable prices) hasn’t had them around when I’ve been in.  I really should, of course, but I did snap this one up immediately.  It has all of the goodies, but most importantly, it does, in fact, have the script.  I am a huge, huge sucker for coffee table books featuring full scripts.  It’s a running theme.

4. Grindhouse: The Sleaze-filled Saga of an Exploitation Double Feature, by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez
The only of the hardcover companion books I own that I purchased instead of being gifted it, mostly because I first saw it in the heyday of the Grindhouse experience.  It was relatively soon after the film’s release, but far enough removed for me to realize that I loved it way more than almost everyone else in the world I knew; if I didn’t buy this book, I figured (this is often my rationale), who would?  And it’s totally worth it.  It’s beautiful.  It helped me when I was putting together my Dakota costume Halloweens ago; it has the Planet Terror script in all its glory (not the Death Proof one, but I found that online, in a separate volume).

3. Wicked: the Grimmerie, by David Coté, Joan Marcus, and Stephen Schwartz
“Wicked is not just a musical, it is a phenomenon,” begins the synopsis on Google Books.  I… you know, okay.  This one was a gift (all of my theater ones have been) and it’s one I appreciated.  My relationship with Wicked is a weird one, because I’ve always… actually kind of liked the book better (being inclined toward the dark and all).  I do really like the musical.  I’ve seen it three times, it’s a given.  And I really loved to be able to see into how it’s put together, because that sort of thing is fascinating to me; Wicked is more of a Big Splashy Musical than the others I’ve studied so intensely, so it’s different in that way.  Also, libretto.

2. Spring Awakening: In the Flesh, by David Coté
Okay, yes, it has the most ridiculous title if you aren’t in on the references, but.  Again, libretto; also, so many pictures.  Most of which I’d already seen by the time I got the book, seen and seen again and then Photoshopped the bejeezus out of, but still.  There’s all sorts of delightful extra material regarding production and design in the book, and considering Spring is a definite time and place in my life, and still basically my favorite of musicals, it’s an obvious choice for me to have this book.

1. Rent,by Jonathan Larson
Rent is also a time and place, as you guys well know, but it tops the list because holy crap, my Rent coffee table book got so much use.  This is what I was referring to when I mentioned the Bible thing above; long, long before it came into my possession (originally a mutual possession with a friend, if I remember), I was hearing tell on the interwebs of the Rent Bible.  I didn’t even initially realize that that wasn’t the actual title.  It has pictures, it has interviews, it has the libretto; I remember embarrassing things about me and this book.  I remember awkwardly drawing stills from it with Sharpies and tacking them on my bedroom wall, I remember going over pictures to cosplay for the movie premiere, I remember using it for research speeches at school.  Oh, Rent Bible.  Such fuzzies.

–your fangirl heroine.

Sundry Sunday :: a continued “I went there for you” 10 list

Same rules as last time.  But there’s more of them this time!

10, 9, 8. Michael Cera… and Kat Dennings… and Jonathan B. Wright

I can’t help it.  Michael Cera is awkward and endearing.  I will follow Kat Dennings anywhere.  And Jonathan B. Wright, well, Spring Awakening groupie here.  (And Aaron Yoo and Dev Patel wound up being pretty okay too.)  So Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist was delightful for me and I regret nothing.  And as teenager movies go, it makes me very happy.

7. Anthony Stewart Head

I saw a scene from Repo online (pre-release) right as I was starting Buffy, so when I finally had access to Repo, I couldn’t help myself.  One of these days, I might have to write an essay about how completely terrible I feel for actually enjoying the hell out of this movie.  I’ve seen it at least ten times, which is disgusting; I mean, it’s a ridiculous piece of work.  But I just cannot help myself.  And though this is not solely the fault of Anthony and his singing and glowers and glasses, it is partially the fault of those things, yes.  What of it?

6. Christina Hendricks

Even my goddess hasn’t gotten me to sit down and watch romantic/”female oriented” and painful-looking comedies that she has bit parts in (Life As We Know It, I Don’t Know How She Does It).  Mostly because I find movies like that to be hideously not to my taste and worthy of my ripping apart.  But Christina’s presence was one of the main reasons I saw Drive, other than the buzz; I still don’t know what I think about it, but there’s a picture of her looking pretty in it?

5, 4, 3.  Jason Segal… and Alyson Hannigan… and Neil Patrick Harris

I don’t watch How I Met Your Mother regularly.  I haven’t seen coherent blocks of season such-and-such, and I have no idea what the overlying plot looks like.  But if nothing else is on, or if there’s a half-hour to kill and Netflix instant available to fire up, blowing through a random episode of How I Met Your Mother is something I was persuaded to do.  Because Jason Segal is endearing, and I love Alyson Hannigan’s face, and Neil Patrick Harris is amusing, and I didn’t know anything about Cobie Smulders or Josh Radnor prior to my sporadic HIMYM habit, but they’re cool too.

2, 1. Skylar Astin and Phoebe Strole

So like half of the entries on these lists are Whedonverse or theatre-related.  I own that.  I feel like a lot of this is also guilty pleasure-related, because I absolutely gorram love Hamlet 2.  I saw it just for Skylar and Phoebe here, because I think they’re both talented as hell (and Skylar and I had a moment one time) but I have also seen this movie close to ten times by now.  It’s ridiculous, insane, completely cracked out.  But it takes a certain kind of person to write/be in a movie which utters the words “sexy Jesus,” and I’ll give it that.  And Skylar and Phoebe are adorable even when their characters are sort of terrible people at times.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: so, uhm, here be Walking Dead spoilers/thoughts?

I realize that I haven’t really talked a lot about The Walking Dead.  I’ve been watching it since roughly the beginning (well, we started when the first season was partway through and caught up in one day to finish it in real-time) and I watch it pretty devotedly.  I’ve never read the graphic novels; I really really want to, although I understand that they’re completely different and might tamper with my enjoyment of the TV show, and the most significant reason that I haven’t yet is that I’m cheap sometimes.  But.

I’m, as undoubtedly mentioned before, kind of a zombie nerd.  I adore zombie fiction a lot; I have seen a thousand terrible zombie C-movies and most zombie A-movies (or A-movies imitating C-movies) of recent years.  Hell, I’ve even written a (completely ridiculous, low-budget) zombie movie.  I’m a fan of the genre.  Walking Dead has always been sort of different for me, though, in that a lot of my zombie fiction is, well, funny.  It’s zombie comedy.  But this is not at all funny.

Rather, there are the occasional funny lines, but for the most part, it is serious, it is stressful, it is bloody.  We have a refrain for this show, a simple one, but it’s effective: “zombies are groooooss.“  I outgrew biting my nails in approximately the third grade, but I come damn close to it while watching The Walking Dead.  (I definitely do the Simon Tam thing of almost biting my finger in awkwardness.)  And this last episode, the season two finale, I was doing that screaming at the television thing.  I mean, I’ve definitely done it more.  But it was hard not to at times.

So.  And in case you didn’t get the message, ALL THE SPOILERS.

• This show has gotten so good at killing people off.  Two episodes ago, it was Dale (Jeffrey DeMunn), and that was sad and provided tension and character angst.  One episode ago, it was Shane (John Bernthal), and that was… probably a long time coming and provided plot.  This episode, it was Patricia (Jane McNeill) and Jimmy (James Allen McCune) and… really only them, but there were moments where it looked like almost everyone else was doomed.  Not all at once, but periodically.
• The first twelve minutes were the most stressful twelve minutes I have experienced in television in a while.  What with the zombie horde and the mass exodus/gun battle/attack/barn burning/sadness/everything.  We were repeatedly shouting obscenities at the screen, and I am unashamed to admit this; I like it when television can actually make my heart beat fast.
• And see, the thing is, this can.  This is an adventure, but it’s not one that sacrifices emotional development of characters for action.  Which is cool.
• But, uhm, zombies are gross.  Cartoony zombie violence doesn’t really bother me the way it bothers a lot of my friends; I have an embarrassingly strong stomach for fictional gore.  But I can still recognize that yes, it’s icky.
• And can I just say that, sacrilegious as it may be, I just enjoyed the hell out of this exchange between Rick (Andrew Lincoln) and Hershel (Scott Wilson):
  “You’re a man of God. Have some faith.”
  “I can’t profess to understand God’s plan. Christ promised the resurrection of the dead. I just thought he had something a little different in mind.”
• I’m invested in the show and in the characters as a unit, but I don’t actually have individual feelings of affection for too many of them; I realized this watching the finale, and it’s strange for me.  Me, who has all of the feelings.  Who gets attached to someone everywhere.  I can do the thing of being objective about a lot of these characters, which is nice, but it’s actually a little strange not feeling compelled to call them all “baaaaby” like I do.
• I don’t call Daryl (Norman Reedus) “baaaaby,” but I really do like him.  He is an asshole, and sometimes his lone-wolf routine is silly, and he comes from a place of ignorance and not-good, but he is a badass, and somewhere deep down he cares about his fellow survivors.  He really does.  But at the same time, he doesn’t care what they think of him or his actions much, and that’s refreshing and useful.
• And I sort of love his way with Carol (Melissa Suzanne McBride).  I don’t know what they feel for each other, but even if it’s just amiable friendship, I’m good with it.  I love that she rode on his motorcycle during the getaway, and then when they picked up and headed out again, from the meet-up on the highway, and they shuffled around so people were riding in vehicles with their people, Carol stayed on the motorcycle.  There was at least an extra seat in the van, and that’s a conservative estimate, but nope.  She was gonna hang more with Daryl.
• I mostly reserve “baaaaby” status for three characters: Glenn (Steven Yeun), Maggie (Lauren Cohan), and Beth (Emily Kinney).  Glenn has always been my favorite, because he’s Mr. Capable and that, as we know, is my thing.  Maggie is also very capable.
• And I do actually have shippy happy thoughts about Glenn and Maggie.  One of my people suggested a little while back that someone should marry Glenn and Maggie so Hershel wouldn’t be weird about them sharing a room; I vetoed this, because I am not in favor of hasty apocalypse marriages.  But when Glenn finally confessed his love to Maggie in the finale, I actually awww-ed like a sap.  I am all right with apocalypse love confessions; they’re not as rash as apocalypse marriages, they’re just sweet.  And his speech was perfect.  It was everything I want out of an apocalypse love confession, ever: “I’ve been pretty sure I’ve loved you for a while” especially.  I am a sucker for that, I think.  (It’s sweet and also shows that this isn’t a hasty decision.)
• And I “baaaaby” Beth… mostly because I have a Spring Awakening-shaped soft spot for Emily Kinney.  Even though I never saw her, as per she replaced Phoebe after both times I saw it in New York.  But it’s the principle of the thing.  And also I felt legitimately bad for her this episode around, losing Patricia from her grip like that and losing Jimmy her husband person without getting to say goodbye.
• There has been this weird dynamic on this show, though: one that says “in times of zombie apocalypse, we apparently revert to gender roles.”  Back when they were camping by the river in season one, the women did the laundry and things; this season, Lori (Sarah Wayne Callies) actually criticized Andrea (Laurie Holden) for wanting to take turns on guard duty instead of help out around the house.  Which is… screwy, to say the least.  I mean, the guys in the group are better with their guns, but only because they have more practice.  Andrea practiced, and she’s pretty damn good with one by this point.
• And therefore, Andrea has earned “baaaaby” status sometimes, too.  I didn’t always like her the most, but I like the Andrea that says “screw it” and goes to kill the zombies with the menfolk anyway.
• And what was that at the end??  Andrea, left for dead by the group, gets saved from a zombie by the samurai sword of a… zombie ruler person?  A necromancer?  With zombies basically on leashes behind them?  I don’t know what in the hell was going on, but what we all predicted for next season is Andrea being taken in by the zombie necromancers and becoming the queen of the apocalyptic hellscape.  I am all in favor of hellqueen Andrea.  I think she could do it.
• Essentially: thank goodness that season three is slated for fall and not any farther away than that.

–your fangirl heroine.

Sundry Sunday :: an “I went there for you” 6 list

“I went there for you” lists are lists of actors who I appreciate so much based on one or more performances that I will literally go out of my way to view one or more other performances of theirs.  This is sometimes rewarding; this is sometimes disastrous.  But hey.

6. Nathan Fillion

Nathan Fillion.  Geeky god-king of the Whedonverse.  Someone I have never not enjoyed.  I appreciated Nathan for Firefly and for Dr. Horrible, and because of my appreciation for him, followed him to Super and Castle, the latter of which is seen above and which I admit that I am woefully, heinously behind in (approximately season two, because I just keep getting distracted with other projects).  I realized that I had already seen him in Slither, which was directed by James Gunn just like Super was; I had watched that just because I enjoy campy-ass, morbid horror semi-comedies, but that works as well.  He is just delightful.

5, 4. Lea Michele and Matthew Morrison

As I have before mentioned, I was basically a Spring Awakening groupie.  I still love it with all my heart.  I naturally found Lea through that, and thought she sang pretty and such.  I saw the original cast of The Light in the Piazza, too, and I absolutely was in love with Matthew Morrison in it, singing so beautifully in Italian all over the place.  So naturally, when I heard all that while ago that they were going to be in a singing television program together, I went “YAY!!” and prepared to fangirl.  Glee, seen above, is one of those “I went there for you” moments that I am now… mildly regretting, though, for the reasons I’ve mentioned before; also, it sucks that I don’t really like… well, a lot of the characters, but I really don’t like Rachel that much, and I really don’t like Will that much, and while Lea gets to sing all the time, Matt doesn’t get to show off what he can actually do.  I miss when he sang in Italian and sustained notes and it was lovely.

3. Dichen Lachman

I love her more every time I see her face.  I fell for Dichen because of Dollhouse, obviously (just like I fell for… most of the cast that I hadn’t already fallen for already).  But I’ve followed her now to two different places: Torchwood: Miracle Day and now the US Being Human, seen above.  I’d never watched Torchwood before, I’d never watched Being Human before, but that’s just how it is.  I didn’t really love Torchwood (I hear that I would enjoy the original more, so I’m not ruling it out in the future), and I admit that I watch her Being Human episodes on my laptop and just do other things in other tabs until I hear/see her scenes come on, but I do love her.  Even when it’s something I do not otherwise care about whatsoever.

2. Patrick Fugit

Surprise!  This is a predictable list, yes.  After falling in love with him in Almost Famous, I proceeded to follow Patrick Fugit to Saved, to Bickford Schmeckler’s Cool Ideas (which is an example of psychic going there for someone, too, since my much-loved Fran Kranz is there t00), to The Amateurs, to Wristcutters: A Love Story, seen above, to We Bought a Zoo, to Cinema Verite… yeah.  Everywhere.  But the thing is, I’m usually not disappointed.  A lot of those aren’t my favorite movies like Almost Famous is, but I don’t dislike any of them.  And I always love him.

1. Summer Glau

But my darling Summer… takes me to places I regret going sometimes.  Firefly was what made me love her, too, and I didn’t follow her to Dollhouse because I was already there, but I obviously regret nothing about that experience; it’s… well, a lot of the rest.  It’s following her to The Cape, seen above; I think I used that picture back in the day when I tried to put the most positive spin I could on my Cape-watching experience, because really, aside from the one girl who was on Deadwood who I decided was my Nolanized Harley Quinn, the above scene is kind of one of the only things I remember about that show.  I tried so hard to enjoy myself with it, but I couldn’t even finish it, and that’s saying something considering my compulsion to finish everything I begin.  It’s following her to Deadly Honeymoon, which I tumbled about that once and… well, yes.  I didn’t mind following her to Alphas, that I liked fairly well; I still haven’t actually watched that show aside from her episode, though I know I should (more with the time constraints).  But it’s not as unfailingly successful, following her places.  Which is a shame, because she tries to make the best of everything no matter where she ends up, and that’s admirable.

–your fangirl heroine.

Fictional Friday :: 10 fictional doppelganger collections

…and if they would get along with each other.  Numerical ratings 1-10 for how well the getting along would go.

10. Lea Michele (Wendla Bergman, Spring Awakening; Rachel Berry, Glee)

Wendla would be so intimidated by Rachel.  Rachel’s far too brassy and loud and histrionic; Wendla’s been raised to be very polite and demure.  And after a while, she’d start to think that Rachel was a little bit mean, I think.  Mean and self-centered.  Rachel would be all “Clearly, you’re the most [something], why aren’t you more important?” and Wendla would be all “Because I don’t want to be?  I just want to discover things about life without dying.  Oh wait.”
Rating: 3

9. Michael Cera (Nick O’Leary, Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist; Scott Pilgrim, Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World)

Really, I think these pictures say it all.  These two aren’t exactly the same, exactly, but they’re similar enough that it would be either a catastrophic meeting of like minds or the beginning of a beautiful friendship.  I hope for the latter. They could swap bass lines, Scott could teach Nick about the magic of sweatbands and video game-style combat, they’d talk about how sometimes all you want to do is hold someone’s hand and sometimes all you end up doing is cuddling.
Rating: 9

8. Kat Dennings (Norah Silverberg, Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist; Max Black, 2 Broke Girls)

Really, the same sort of thing.  These two are both snarktastic babes with idiot child blonde best friends named Caroline, they have lots to bond over.  Norah is slightly less hard-edged than Max is, and the whole “Norah coming from money” thing would be a little awkward at first, but she’s not annoying about it, so that wouldn’t be awkward for long.  Max could teach Norah about proper brassieres, and it would be much less awkward than if some gay boys taught her that lesson.
Rating: 7.5

7. Timothy Olyphant (Seth Bullock, Deadwood; Raylan Givens, Justified)

These two may be sheriffs similarly, and they both shoot lots of people people similarly, but that’s about as far as they get.  Seth is overly polite at times, and he’s not a womanizer; Raylan’s brash at times and slightly sarcastic, and he’s fond of the ladies at times.  They could have one of those weird friendships that’s also antagonistic, and they would go to the shooting range and tell weird (my brother’s)ex-wife and (junkie)(criminal) girlfriend stories.  They would roll their eyes at each other a lot, but that’s okay, because they’re both good at it.
Rating: 6

6. Maggie Siff (Rachel Menken, Mad Men; Tara Knowles, Sons of Anarchy)

These two maybe wouldn’t be best friends right off the bat, but they certainly wouldn’t have obvious problems with each other.  Neither of them are exactly the “OMGLOL best friends” type, but they’d have respect for each other, even if Rachel would roll her eyes at Tara’s outlaw life and Tara would awkwardface about Rachel’s love choices.  Rachel’s a woman in the business world in a time where women weren’t there, really, and Tara’s a helpful legitimate doctor in a world where everyone’s decidedly… not legitimate.  But they’d be able to get along.
Rating: 5

5. Christina Hendricks (YoSaffBridge, Firefly; Joan Holloway Harris, Mad Men)

Now this would be disastrous.  Joan would be frustrated as hell with Saffron’s weakling act, and her manipulative bitch thing would frustrate her in a different way.  Meanwhile, YoSaffBridge would be rolling her eyes at Joan’s entire world.  “You mean you’re really marrying that man for love?  Really?  That man didn’t want to be with you on your own conditions, and his conditions were decidedly against what you wanted, and you think that’s love?  You’re marrying him for the financial stability, honey.  Don’t try to pretend that’s any different.  Maybe less mercenary, but it’s the same principle.  Don’t even try.”  They would be snarking at each other in the worst way.
Rating: 2

4. Alan Tudyk (Hoban “Wash” Washburne, Firefly; Alpha, Dollhouse)

This would also be kind of disastrous.  Probably because Alpha meeting anyone who’s not also a psychopath or sociopath is a really terrible plan.  Alpha might actually be kind of intrigued, in an “awww, you’re so sweet and unassuming” kind of way, but it would end in “and oh by the way I intend to steal your brain so I can learn how to fly spaceships, kthnx.”  Wash would be really unnerved by Alpha, though he’d try to be polite about it; he’d crack wise, and Alpha would think that was also endearing, but it just… wouldn’t end well.
Rating: 3

3. Summer Glau (River Tam, Firefly; Cameron Phillips, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles; Bennett Halverson, Dollhouse; Skylar Adams, Alphas)

So.  These four all have the “slightly unnerving genius” thing in common.  River is the overly emotive mind-reading dissociative type; Cameron is the under…ly emotive robot not-that-tactful type; Bennett is the most straightforward hyperbrilliant type; Skylar is probably the most properly sociopathic, edgy one.  (And I do realize that Skylar was on one episode, an episode of a show that I don’t otherwise watch, but.)  None of them would know what to do with each other.  Cameron would be very confused as to why they all had the same face and she would probably try to figure out if the others were robots too.  Skylar would try to figure out how Cameron’s robotics worked, and succeed, of course.  River would be tripped out and panicky.  Bennett would be really, really intrigued by River’s brain, but when River flipped out on her for trying to maybe investigate, and Cameron had to tell her to please stop asking about amygdalas, she’d probably be able to limit herself to asking too many questions and trying to figure it out based on that and on logical deduction.  None of them would be able to give each other any useful life advice, because they all sort of suck at being socially “normal” in their own ways, but Cameron would say awkward slang phrases that she’d heard used and try to make it make sense.  Skylar would be itching to get out of this weird dimensional intersection, because she’s got other things to do, okay?  Eventually River would make with the awkward niceties in her way and try to be sweet to Bennett somehow, and Bennett would be really thrown off by it, but eventually she’d get over the “who is this girl with my face and what is she talking about” thing and accept the offers of something resembling friendship.
Rating: 6.5

2. Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Siobhan Martin and Bridget Kelly, Ringer)

This encounter would try Buffy’s patience so very much.  She’d be trying to accept them as not being evil, because they’re both not technically evil, but she’d be wanting to punch them both in the face after fifteen minutes.  She’d want to punch Siobhan for being such a duplicitous, manipulative bitch; she’d want to punch Bridget for being so dense and naive even despite all of her worldly experiences.  They’d both probably think Buffy was too much of a goody-goody in one way or another, though Bridget would try to respect her intentions.  Siobhan would just be rolling her eyes and making the ultimate bitchface.
Rating: 2.5

1. Anthony Stewart Head (Rupert Giles, Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Nathan Wallace, Repo! The Genetic Opera)

This would go so wrong in so many ways.  At first, they’d feel like they had something in common: they’re both protective, intelligent types.  Then the “I keep my daughter locked up in her bedroom” and “I kill people for a living” things would come out, and Giles would flip.  “How can you think that’s the best for her?!?  How can you allow that… that old man to force you to murder people?  It was seventeen years ago, man.  I understand your need to grieve for someone, I’ve lost someone I love before.  But you should be able to rise above it.  You’re a smart fellow.”  To which Nathan would be saying things like “Yes, well, just because we look similar doesn’t mean that you understand me.”  But he’d secretly know it was all true.  He’s just not the receptive-to-constructive-criticism type, so nothing would come of it.
Rating: 3

–your fangirl heroine.