In honor of Django Unchained, because
5. That unnamed lady tracker (Zoe Bell, Django Unchained)
Because we knew nothing about her. You didn’t even really her ladyness much: she was eyes and a bandana, really. But I was trying desperately to spin a story for her, both because, well, she was Zoe Bell, who is awesome, and also I spin stories for unnamed female characters on the regular. Not really having that much historical background was putting a damper on this, but I’m sure someone has figured this out or will figure it out at some point.
4. Broomhilda (Kerry Washington, Django Unchained)
And this is the other kind of wanting more of her, because while we saw plenty about her history and her relationship to the overall plot, and that was cool and she was interesting, I wanted more of her. I wanted some more present-tense spunkiness; I wanted more of what we already got, essentially.
3. Esmarelda Villalobos (Angela Jones, Pulp Fiction)
I want to know about exactly what led her to be driving that cab in that city. I want to know about her history, I want to know about her present life. I think this is a point where I should clarify: I think all of these characters are used very effectively in their respective films. It’s not that. They’re used very well, and there’s something sort of neat about, as with Esmarelda, a character appearing in one scene and that’s that. But being who I am, I could watch/read/listen to backstories of characters, especially minor ones, in gratuitous detail all day long. I’m sure it was intentional that Esmarelda was somewhat of a mystery, and I like how it was handled, but there’s a part of me that likes the mysteries unraveled anyway.
2. Pam (Rose McGowan, Death Proof)
And actually, I’d have been happy mainly with the additional details from the complete screenplay included in the final cut. More exposition. The fun of Grindhouse is that they cut almost everything that they didn’t deem absolutely necessary, and I enjoy that: it’s part of the style homage that they’re doing. I also recognize that I am in the minority of people who would often prefer characters’ conversations to be in the form of spectacularly explanatory monologues and would gladly take these monologues over many other things, even in action-type movies; I mean, I love a good action scene, a good one, but I also love a good monologue. Case in point: I like knowing what I know from reading the giant original screenplay (actually, this applies to all the girls, particularly in the first bunch) and I understand why it wasn’t in the final, but I sometimes wish for it anyway.
1. Gogo Yubari (Chiaki Kuriyama, Kill Bill)
I am absolutely positive I’ve raved about Gogo before. I love Gogo in that alarming way that I can only love characters who only have a few scenes’ worth of screen time and partake in the murder of multiple other characters. While my need for the other characters’ giant backstories could be satisfied in the context of a really, really long cut of the film from which they came, I want it all for Gogo. I want a (limited run, probably, but still in-depth; though it’d be nothing like Scott Pilgrim, the length of that series and each respective volume is about right) graphic novel series. I want a movie. I want these ridiculous stories about this Japanese schoolgirl assassin hanging out and killing people and maybe being friends with other Japanese schoolgirl assassins, none of whom have love plots (except maybe with each other). It has the potential to be so messed up and so wonderful.
–your fangirl heroine.