Whimsy Wednesday :: in which things get spectacularly referential and Rainbow is a fangirl.

It is just a pony kind of day.  I mean the sun was shining and in a lot of ways this is not particularly great because ugh sunshine headaches ugh, but sunshine is generally associated with like… cheerfulness and whatnot, and ponies are cheerful, so.

Cyber season?  Cider season.  That makes more sense but it makes me less happy.

“Cider season is now officially open” is a statement that doesn’t make that much sense.  “It is now officially cider season” would make more sense, or “the apple cider booth is now officially open” maybe.

Whoooa, AJ, baby.  “Apple family cider is made with love and integrity.”  Ponies, stop judging that’s not cool.  They really are doing their best.

…Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?  OH MY GOSH this is The Music Man.  This is not even subtle, this is overtly The Music Man.  This is “Trouble” pretty much exactly.  But about apple cider for ponies.  And with a different chorus sort of.  This would be the most fun show to write for ever end of story.  I am just sitting here laughing uncontrollably because this may actually be the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened on this show.

Second most ridiculous.  Because pony Christmas is still top of the list I think.  That was the most insane episode of ever.

Also, I’m glad that one of the brothers has a moustache so I can tell them apart without having to remember which one of them is Flim and which one is Flam, but I’m really, really curious as to how a pony has a moustache.

Oh, look!  Douchebag entitlement guys striding into town like they own the damn place and acting superior just ‘cause they have pony technology and showmanship and ugh I hate them already.

I know, Rainbow, you could stay the night at AJ’s and get in line first-first and then the drama would be over.

Also, this is a morality tale about young/flashy vs. old/traditional.

OH MY GOSH DOUCHEBAG ENTITLEMENT GUYS.  You literally just arrived here, the Apple family has been in Ponyville for however long since Granny Smith was a pioneer with braids, get out of here you – you USURPERS.

I like Big Macintosh and Granny Smith’s cider-making glasses.

This is also a morality tale about big business vs. Mom and Pop shops.

I KNOW TWI.  You guys get to help!  Do this!  Do this thing!  AUGH you guys are the best friends ever and watching this show just makes me feel so good about ladyfriends.  Why don’t grown-up TV shows have ladyfriendships that are this amazing more often?

…your apple cider is now including apple cores and leaves.  Wow this is so unclassy.

“We’ll just have to work harder!” That’s my Twi!  I’m getting a lot of warm fuzzies right now.

GO TO PONY HELL YOU GIANT DOUCHEBAGS.

AJ has got to have some crazy plan.  Or maybe the plan will just be that everyone drinks their crappy leafridden cider and runs them out of town.  Too bad ponies don’t have the internet so the Ponyville kids can warn other towns’ ponies about the usurping douchebags’ techniques being awful.

Aaaand next one.

If they’re looking up at the sky and there are audible swooshy noises, they’re probably looking at Rainbow.  Just sayin’, sweetling.

Pony hospital?  Pony doctors?  With pony glasses, of course, because glasses in Ponyville mean authority.

Aaaand Spider-man allusion.  High-fives.  High… hooves?

Rainbow, baby, listen to them.  “Reading is for everypony!!”  YAY FOR LITERACY!!!  I’m feeling so so many warm fuzzies augh.

C’mon, reading is fun and fundamental and magic!!  Just pick up the damn book and get on with it!  it’s like… she’s Indiana Jones or something, but a lady and a pony?  Maybe?  And she’s being chased by every possible jungle cat?  Yep, Indiana Jones.  This is fantastic.

Babygirl, noooope.  Just ‘cause you’re wandering into metafiction with a temple with etchings doesn’t mean you have to stick to brain/athlete.  You can be anything and everything because DIMENSIONALITY!  Dimensionality is one of those words that is a word but sounds like it’s one I just made up sort of, and I like that.

No this is exactly like Daring-Do is Indiana Jones.  I dig this.  Much more than I dig actual Indiana Jones, which generally bores and frustrates me.

“You rained on my cumulus”?  That doesn’t even make sense, I adore this.  Also, Rainbow, stop being so darn stubborn and just tell them you like the book, you silly.

Oh my gosh PONY HELL TEMPLE YESSSSSS I am so happy right now!

Don’t they know that watching other ponies eat makes them nervous?

Was that seriously a cat whistle?  I am the happiest I have been all week.

I know how you’ll find out: ask Twi and apologize and I promise it’ll be okay, kiddo.  Just stop being so darn stubborn, you ridiculous pony you.

Why did all the nurses and doctors just turn into attack dogs basically?

I love Rarity and Flutter’s bathrobes, also.

“Just because you’re athletic doesn’t mean you aren’t smart.”  Oh Twi thank you yes.  Break down those stereotypes and stuff!

That is one strong pony safari hat.

How is that statue going to make the world suffer mightily, cat-man-monster?  Rainbow baby.  How does it feel to fangirl?  Excellent right?

–your fangirl heroine.

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which even baby ponies are terrifying and AJ’s stubborn streak continues.

La, la.  Ponies are so much more fun than French novels sometimes.

How is the boy pony a pegasus and the girl pony a unicorn but they’re twins?  Thank you for just asking that question, AJ.  Thank you for your weird explanation, Freckles.  (I assume that’s that pony’s name.  I don’t know for realsies.)

Time is fluid here, isn’t it?

Also, I both love and am perplexed by how these ponies manage to do people things with their hooves.  They’re anthropomorphized but not.  Are these babies related to her?  I mean that pink and blue one is her mom, isn’t she?  But I don’t remember Freckles being her dad, but I guess he is, maybe?  He doesn’t seem the same age as the mom, but then again I’m terrible at ages.

Oh, Flutter, you sweetheart.

Maybe Pinkie should get the hint that her parents know she shouldn’t babysit.  Because I’m guessing that she shouldn’t.  Because she is hyperactive and chirpy and ridiculous.  Well-intentioned, but ridiculous.

Also, Rarity, bless.

Also, I like how they are the only six ponies in Ponyville, apparently.  I’m surprised there wasn’t, like, an official babysitter pony.

No, okay, the Cakes aren’t her relations, Pinkie just… works there?  She called them Mr. and Mrs. Cake, so I’m assuming. I don’t know.

I just cannot really take this amount of uninterrupted Pinkie Pie.  It’s nothing against you, sweetling, you seem like a perfectly lovely pony, you just overwhelm me with your enthusiasm and I don’t know what to do with it. Also babies are scary and overwhelming, so that’s a part of it too.

I am spacing out right now.  Pinkie Pie and also babies.  I just skipped a good few minutes of episode until Twi showed up and now Pinkie’s learning lessons, or she’s trying to, or – nope, more babies, more skipping.  Now it’s the end, and Pinkie is talking about lessons, and look she cleaned the entire – bakery?  The baby ponies are sleeping and Pinkie can do it and I’m very proud of her but I’m just… up for that.

Okay.  Hopefully this episode is less terrifying.

Okay, AJ is jumping jumps and running fast.  I can deal with AJ doing horse things waaay better than I can deal with Pinkie babysitting.  Horse jumping is comforting and familiar.

Do pegasi also have unexplainable strength powers?

AJ is such a champion.  Such a Samaritan.  What’s the pony equivalent of that?  There should be one, right?  Since there’s a pony equivalent for everything else.

I’m guessing she’s not going to win.  And then she’ll be ashamed ‘cause she doesn’t have the money to help.  That sounds like something that would happen.  Mayor Glasses is repeating the word “money” so many times that it’s making me nervous.

Flutter, you are still the most adorable darling little thing in the world with all of your shyness and nerves.

Okay, so AJ’s staying in Canterlot, and she’s going to… work for the money she couldn’t earn in the contest so she doesn’t disappoint, and now it’s going to be a hero’s quest and – and –

I’m not saying anything.  I’m just thinking things.

Wow, pony clown rodeos are the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen.

AJ is… in a desert?  And yeah, she’s looking very ashamed and sad and is this a pony brothelllllll that looks like a pony madam.  It’s a ranch, apparently, but oh my gosh, she looks like a pony madam.  She has madam hair, she has eye shadow, she has a birthmark.

AJ is lying.  I can’t decide if I’m correct in my – oh, Rainbow just actually called her AJ, that doesn’t happen that often – in my original assumption, it’s just that my natural assumptions about why one would not want to go home or why one would stay in a place after a thing cannot be applied to this canon because it is a children’s cartoon and I have no idea what is doing on or why they need to wear pouffy hats to sort cherries.

Wild Bull Hickok and Calamity Mane, oh my goodness gracious.

I’m guessing she won’t be at breakfast.  She’ll have run off.  Yep.  She ran off.

Honestly, she’s behaving like she got in with some evil drug lords she couldn’t pay off or something.  Like that’s what I assume would happen in anything else.  But this is My Little Pony, so that doesn’t make any sense.

AJ they’re you’re friends just tellllll them what is wrong.  And tell me so I stop being so confused by this.  I can sort out problems like this when they exist in canons where horrible things can happen, but nothing horrible can truly happen with brightly colored ponies.  So I’m confused.

Yeah, you’re not gonna outrun the champion speed flyer, sweets.

Okay, as expected.  Number 2 in the contests.  She’s just ashamed of herself for not winning-winning, and she didn’t get the money to help.  I am getting eerily good at calling this stuff.

Flutter, why is it that when you say cheesy things I go “aw” even though anyone else saying these things would make me cringe?

That pony pile looked like it would be physically impossible without at least someone dying of suffocation.  That’s a happy thought to end on.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which multiple pony creation myths are told and one of them is mythical in proportion.

Sometimes a girl just needs to take a break from thinking about serious things.

Oh my goodness, is it like Christmastime but in Ponyville?  They’re heading back to Canterlot again, but it’s all snowing and made of gingerbread.  Hearth’s Warming Eve.  Secular pony Christmas I approve so hard.  I am ushering in springtime by watching ponies partake of the winter.  Excellent, go me.

Ooh are they going to a play?  Is it – ooh they’re in the play!  Oh my goodness, Rarity, look at you with your crazy crown and cape and.  Oh, you princess-in-spirit.  The Hearth’s Warming Eve pageant – “a reenactment of the founding of Equestria”?  it looks more like a chance for all of the ponies to just dress up in whatever costume they feel like, because Rarity is a princess and AJ is… Robin Hood?  And Rainbow is a… gladiator?

Oh.  My.  Gosh.  The coming together of the pony kingdoms.

And Spike dressed like a junior high’s version of Hamlet.

THE LONG WINTER.

I don’t even have any particularly insightful thoughts right now.  I’m just.

Okay, that’s why there’s a princess and a gladiator and Pinkie as a Shakespearean something.  Because it’s representing the differences in the old-timey ponies.

“Please cease with the insults!” “I am a princess, I won’t be spoken to that way!”  RARITY YOU PERFECT LITTLE DARLING.

Awww, Flutter.  You beautiful shy little darling.  Awww, Twi.  “Did the other tribes see reason as I predicted?”  And Rarity.  “We will no longer consort with the likes of them.”  You sweet precious love.

This is the most ridiculous creation myth that has ever been, but I mean that with the utmost affection.  They’re finding a new land and…?  Then Princess Celestia is going to do something useful because she is the one under which everything becomes united?  But that hasn’t happened yet, because we have to watch the ponies walk around and be silly in costume for a while.

This is an episode where the lessons that are learned are metaphors from the past.  Oh, but they’re all going to claim the same land and oh no look out?

And that is how Earth got its name?

Wherein the pony gods are attacking the ponies with snow because…?  The pony gods want to teach their people about… sharing and friendship?  Pony gods or…?  Personification of their distemper toward each other?  Ponification, I guess?  I feel like this was a Sailor Moon episode once.

And now my girls have to be the ones to make it better because they all make sense.

Windigos?  “Winter spirits that feed of fighting and hatred.”  Okay, so not quite pony gods, just like spooky pony demons.

Also, everything is in threes.

Uhm.

Of course Twi and her friends had to be in the play, she has to do the magic that makes firework light shows of looooove.

Have I mentioned lately how fun it would be to write this nonsense?

I love when night skies are purple.  Or when you show that it is nighttime by all things being purple.

Down home country twang with the Apple family.  Okay, that hasn’t happened in a bit.  That has potential to be fun?  Also, “pony feathers.”

Zap apples?  That sounds like fun.  Why are Granny Smith and Applebloom dressed like bunnies?  Because they’re going to highlight the class difference between the snotty baby pony and Applebloom, who is a darling love?  This snotty baby is Diamond Tiara, right?  And now she’s going to make poor baby feel ashamed of where she comes from and who she is.

But didn’t we learn last time that where you come from makes you who you are and should not be cause for shame?  I guess Applebloom, being a baby, has to learn that lesson in a different way.  And this time it’s about family and not just friends and.  Ugh, the snotty baby ponies can go away.

It’s like that episode of Buffy where Dawn decided she wanted to be a cheerleader and stuff.  Except there’s no dude with a magic jacket.

All the baby ponies really need to stop being such jerks.

But if the zap apples disappear after five days, wouldn’t the things that get made from them also disappear?  Or is it just the ones on the trees that disappear?  And why do the zap apples look like star-shaped flowers?

I think you mean a thesaurus, Scootaloo.

Now they’re faking that Applebloom has an illness?  I guess that’s not gonna happen, nope.  I have a solution for you, Applebloom.  Bring Granny Smith to school anyway and teach all your peers about how it isn’t cool to be a jerkface.

Wouldn’t pulling ponies by their tails hurt?

And wouldn’t the teacher pony be smart enough to see that the old pony was being used as a marionette?  Whoops, that plan’s failing too.  The Crusaders’ plans always seem to fail.

Oh my gosh, magical rainbow apples.  That is the most glorious thing I’ve seen all day.

And seriously, what is Diamond Tiara’s problem?  Is she just a jerk to be a jerk because she likes to be that way?  I mean, she’s making fun of Granny Smith for having memory deficiencies.  That’s just a jerk move.

Oregon Pony Trail?  Why are the Apple family pioneers, but everyone else looks like medieval royalty?  And why does baby Granny Smith have her hair in braids?  I bet everyone is going to think this story was actually really cool and they’ll stop being a jerk to Applebloom for a little while.  Anyway I hope.

Timberwolves.  Oh my goodness gracious, wolves made of wood who are killed by the sound of banging pots?  This is so folksy and charming.  And all of Granny Smith’s ridiculousness is meaningful SEE APPLEBLOOM.  Be proud of where you come from.

And that is how Ponyville was founded.  I typed that before she said it and it was a direct quote.

There you go, Applebloom.  Stand up for yours.  That’s a darling.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which I have a surprising amount of Rarity feelings.

Oh, Rarity, you darling little overenthusiastic lady.  You have really grown on me.  This is totally not because of reasons.

Do you love that all of the ponies wear clothes?  That’s convenient for somepony who likes to make clothes.  This is going to be an awkward set of social faux pas…es?  What’s the plural of faux pas?  Wow, everyone here totally stinks.  Poor Rarity.  Put on your glasses and design some stuff!

Is that Canterlot unicorn slightly hyperskinny?

Rarity, baby, don’t buy their offers of friendship.  They just think you’re cool ‘cause you know the princess.  And you don’t want that.  But, but – I also do not fault you for getting sucked in by what seems like a fantastical daydream come true situation.  That is not so good in retrospect, but reasonable in the moment.

Reasons.

Oh, sweetie, this will come back to bite you in the end, and you probably know that.  Or you will.  These fancy ponies aren’t worth it in the end, love.  I can’t tell how old all of these ponies are meant to be because of their funny accents.

Oh, I just want to give you a hug, darling.  I am so worried about your inevitable eventual heartbreak, Rarity.  I can just feel it.  Listen to your wise cat, though, because your wise cat knows what’s up.  Your cat’s… kind of your septa, isn’t she?

Oh, love.  This is significantly stressing me out, actually.

Why does everypony in Canterlot dress like a multicolored extra from the race scene in My Fair Lady?

Flutter.  You sweet darling. Twi.  You are perfectly lovely.  And why are Twi and Rarity dressed but none of the others are?  Rainbow, you are ridiculous, and everyone, you are all ridiculous, and Rarity, you are where you belong, sweetheart.  Ignore the snobby ones, they’re pretentious as hell and boring and all super-snobby followers.

This is going to bite you, love.  This is going to be crummy and bad.  You poor tired dear, no good comes of lying.  Just tell Twi the truth, she’s theoretically understanding, see!  Friends are better than fake friends!  But Rainbow, dear, you really shouldn’t invite yourself to things.  You’re going to embarrass Rarity and it’ll be unpleasant all around.

Your logic is sound, AJ.  People really should garden at garden parties.  That would make more sense.

Fancy Pants sounds kind of like Archie Hicox of Inglourious Basterds.

And look at you, Rarity, being a good person.  Fancy Pants isn’t a d-bag, either.  So that’s overall much better than it could have turned out.  “You should never forget that you are the product of your home and your friends, and that is something always to be proud of, no matter what.”

Gosh, Rarity.  What are you doing this to me for?  I come to Ponyville (or Canterlot as the case may be) to get away from all of my feeeeeels.

Reshelving day!!!  Oh my gosh, Twi, you beautiful librarian darling.

I am still convinced that unicorns must be the best kind of pony to be.  Unicorns have magic and magic is cool.  Not when used wrong, of course, but if it’s used properly –

Okay, I was just interrupted by the perpetual weirdness of Spike and Rarity shipping?  I mean, I.  I just can’t handle that, really.

Aw, don’t sound so upset about getting a book for a present.  Twi loves books, so she gives them to people she also feels affectionately toward.  It makes sense.  Spike, are you going to get all gluttonous?  I feel like that’s maybe going to be what happens.  He’s susceptible to stuff like that.

Really?  This stranger pony just gave Spike a douchapeau?

Gluttony.  Spike.  Don’t be so greedy and stuff, buddy.  There’s Twi to get rational on him.  But he… hasn’t learned his lesson.  Don’t be an asshole, kid.  Please.

And don’t drown in a pile of stuff.

…he got stretchy and weird, and is this growing up or is it magic?  Oh, it’s a curse, like that time that Applebloom started dancing until she almost caught on fire.  One of the presents that Spike got cursed him into greedy puberty?

Who is this patronizing as hell doctor pony?  I don’t like him.  He’s a jerk.

And veterinarian pony, you’re patronizing too.  That’s annoying.

Hey, Zecora.  Here you are to explain his dragon puberty, and his dragon puberty is directly tied to his amassing a collection of more stuff.  So as long as Spike doesn’t get more stuff, he’ll stay a baby?  Thank you for explaining the intricacies of ponycanon dragon biology, Zecora?

You are not the fun kind of dragon, Spike.  You are being an asshole.

“I was helping my squirrel friends with a dance step.”  Flutter, that is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.  You are a fairytale princess pony.

Wait, let me guess.  Rarity is going to remind Spike of how good it feels to give and she’s going to help Spike see the error of his ways and shrink back to normal size because of weird pony/dragon cartoon shipping.  Also, screw this King Kong holding-Rarity-and-growling-at-her damsel stuff.  Spike, you are no true knight.  And not in the fun way, I say again and again.

… okay, why are the Wonderbolts here?  That doesn’t even make sense.  Are they like pony cops in addition to being action sports stars?

Oh, and here’s Rarity being logically ladylike to snap Spike out of it.

I love it when Flutter has to help with the extreme sportsy flying.  It’s cute as heck.  And it totally makes up for the complete whatthehellishness of pony/dragon cartoon shipping.  Or it makes up for it somewhat.

A’dawww, and now they all have capes.  And those are endearing and cute.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which Rainbow frustrates me, then learns some lessons that hopefully actually last.

There is no better way for me to celebrate Galentine’s Day than to watch a show that is 90% ladyfriendships.  Because even if they’re ponies, they give me warm feelings and I don’t even care.

So anyway.  Ponies.

Oh, look!  Owlysius is back.  …Owlysius is a shapeshifter?  Did you know that in some cultures owls are associated with death and the Biblical Lilith?  And Lilith was in fact sometimes said to be a shapeshifter, shifting into an owl; “Lilith” sometimes appears where “screech owl” or “night-owl” appear in other translations of the Bible, fun fact, though the name literally means “of the night” –

..this is the kind of thing I recreationally research.  Not even right now to prove a point, like I’d read all of that and committed it to memory before.  I am the coolest.

Oh, Rainbow was just hallucinating.  Pony pet playdates.  And now they’re worrying that Rainbow doesn’t have a pet and I bet that by the end of the episode, Rainbow’s going to somehow acquire a pet.  That was a wibble face.  They’re talking about getting/having pets like getting/having children kind of.  Like it’s that big of a deal.

Flutter is singing!  She’s singing a song about pets!  And Rainbow is singing too!

Oh my gosh that cat had the largest eyes ever.

I bet she’s going to end up liking that turtle because it’s against everything she’s asking for.  They keep showing the turtle, and I bet they’re going to be friends.  Or maybe they’re not, it’s just a red herring?  That would be clever maybe.

They really should sing more often, because this is ridiculous.  I don’t feel compelled to put it on my iPod or anything, but holy moly, Rainbow and Flutter just broke into harmonies and it was amazing.

I’m voting for the bat.

But really, why would anyone want to be Rainbow’s pet if she’s being this ridiculous?

See, but I bet Flutter’s sweetness and persuasion is going to persuade Rainbow to give the turtle – no tortoise – a try and he’s so friendly-looking though.

Seriously AJ and Twi, your doubts about Rainbow’s pet ownership abilities are well-founded.  This is absurd and I just really want Rainbow to do something more endearing someday because at this point basically everyone else has won me over a little bit (of the ponies anyway) and she’s just kind of abrasive and frustrating sometimes.

Did that butterfly just hypnotize the cat?  That’s ridiculous!  That’s kind of awesome, but seriously, it’s ridiculous.  I am so on Team Go Against Your Criteria And Choose The Damn Tortoise And Learn Some Great Lesson.  Or Team Bat, I Don’t Even Care It Has Sonar And Just Played Musical Water Glasses With Its Wings.

Let that tortoise wibble affect you, Rainbow.  C’mon.  Stop being so cocky and ridiculous and just choose the poor desperate tortoise oh my gosh I am legitimately sad for that tortoise.  Does the tortoise even have a name?  I’m pretty sure it’s a boy, so –

Oh, gosh, the tortoise is going to roll out of nowhere and somehow leverage the rock off of Rainbow’s wing or something, and she’ll be like “no but I understand now, it’s not just being fast that’s important it’s your ~soul~ or something” and I forgot the name of AJ’s puppy.  Whoops.

Yeah, see, great moral lessons.  They will be learned.  I don’t even care that this is so predictable, because it’s endearing as heck.

I know!  Rainbow can have two pets!  That could be a loophole, and this loophole is also reasonable too.  She’s gonna be besties with the tortoise and the falcon accepts defeat gracefully.  D’aww tortoise.  Does he have a name though?

I sincerely hate the word “stick-to-itiveness,” but I think I can forgive them for using it.

Oh, right.  Winona.  Because that’s a logical name for a puppy.

And the tortoise now has a helicopter.  Cool I guess.  His name is Tank.  Okay.

Why was there just a Rainbow Dash fan club meeting?  Because Rainbow Dash is cocky and sometimes she does things like actually learning the important lesson about the tortoise, but then she’s got a fan club and I sigh.

I’m so confused about what’s going on.  Is this entire episode going to be about Rainbow somehow saving things and then getting worshipped?  If so, preemptive sigh.

Or is this like “Superstar” in Buffy where she’s just hallucinating this?

Twi and AJ, the snarky voices of reason re: Rainbow being cocky and ridiculous.

Pony physics.  Explain them to me.  I want that so much.  I want that so much more than I want an episode about Rainbow being a town hero.  Like even if she learns a lesson about it.

Rainbow, baby, you want Spike to write your biography.  It’s not that hard to remember not to say “auto” in front of “biography.”

I think the video of the episode I found started a little while after the episode actually started, because I think I missed something.  But I definitely get Rainbow being a cocky arrogant ridiculous-face right now.

Who is that mysterious pony in the cloak and hat?  The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well oh my goodness.  Kind of like the pony version of super freaking badass bow-and-arrow BBC Robin Hood Marian who’s also the Night Watchman or whatever.

Does that pony construction worker seriously have a pony five o’clock shadow?

Rainbow, here’s a very simple lesson.  Don’t be arrogant and nothing stupid will happen.  Be arrogant and stupid things happen that are also super-dangerous and accompanied by super-dramatic music.  I mean, it’s not going to be too dangerous because nothing fatal can actually happen to anyone in Ponyville, it’s a cartoon, but it’s still going to be dangerous and bad.

Oh gods, Rainbow, you are.  You are just an idiot sometimes.  Like I understand that it’s easy to get caught up in being excited about people praising you, but seriously?

It’s probably going to be Twi, but it would be kind of funny if it was Rarity.

You don’t compete you form a superhero team and fight crime and natural disasters together.

Actually, I’m thinking that maybe all of the ponies are Mare-Do-Well.  They’re teaming up to teach Rainbow a lesson about being cocky.  And they all dress up and they take turns and they fix the ridiculous bit by bit.

Rainbow had better learn her damn lesson, because this is getting absurd.

Also, Rainbow, you’re overextending yourself.  You’re trying too much to do so many heroic things and losing track of what ~really matters~ or some such.  Sigh.

Seriously, Mare-Do-Well, you look like you’re wearing Underarmor over your face or something.  It’s actually kind of impressive how well the animation suggests the kind of whatever secret eye coverings that are on Spider-man or something.

Yep. It’s definitely all of the ponies together.

C’mon, Rainbow, learn your lesson.  “A real hero doesn’t brag.” “Celebrating your accomplishments is natural, but” “rubbing them in everypony’s face is not.”  You guys.  Grace and humility.  Ugh you guys are such ladies sometimes, and I mean that in a good way. An actual real nobility way.  Hearts, you crazy ponies.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which there are sister feelings and also more magicks gone awry.

The synopsis said Twilight Sparkle wasn’t in this episode at all.  Bummer.

Rarity is kind of ridiculous, but she’s sort of cute too.  Also, in people-analogue years, how old are the main ponies?  Because they still live home, and is that because they’re still teenagers or because ponies just tend to live home for whatever amount of time?

So the joke is that Rarity’s parents are super tacky?  They look like the pony versions of people who party in Florida on beaches of tacky things sometimes.  With mom pony’s hair and dad pony’s Hawaiian shirt and all.

Another point: do unicorns ever breed with pegasi, or pegasi with Earth ponies, or whatever?  They’re all ponies, but like.  I’ve never seen an intermarriage between pony types, I don’t think.  Is it just not done?

Bless, Rarity.  You are so attemptedly organized and Sweetie Belle just wants to help, but so much disaster is going to happen.  They both have good intentions, though.

Rarity, that’s not what baby blue looks like.  Maybe baby blue just looks different in gemstones?

Is this what having a sibling is like?  I have never had one, at least not in the biological context, so I’m not sure.  But this seems like whatever most movies make having little siblings out to be like.  Or.  I guess Rarity might not live home, her parents were just stopping in to drop Sweetie Belle off?  I don’t really know.

Sisterhooves.  Neat events for sister ponies.  I bet Rarity… yep, she’s going to be all snooty about it.  Bless, Rarity.  It’s okay, eventually you guys are going to figure out a way to hang out and get along.  Drama, drama, sister disowning, oh, no.

“Rarity thinks everything is uncouth.”  But AJ is old enough or experienced enough to have awareness of how you just have to accept everypony’s differences, and that’s that.  It’s going to be okay, babies.  Somehow it will all be okay.

Now I’m having Sansa and Arya feelings.  Gosh, thanks, ponies.

Rarity, I understand why it sucks when people touch your stuff.  Like that’s not fun or good, nope.  But, you know, it’s not the end of the world or whatever.  And why does Rarity have a favorite sweater (or design clothes) because while sometimes they dress up for fancy parties, they wear no clothes on the regular.

Rarity, you are also a drama queen.  Hardcore.  But that’s just your way.  And you’re definitely trying to learn how to be able to apologize and – c’mon.  Everyone learn your lessons right.

I still can’t sort out Rarity’s accent.

Assertive fiddles!

If AJ’s family runs the contest, is it fair for them to enter?  Wouldn’t that be nepotism?  Or something?

This music sounds like Toy Story all of a sudden.  Or rather, like the Toy Story arcade game ride in California Adventures.

Why did the mud make AJ’s eyes blue?  OH BECAUSE IT’S RARITY.  SPOILER.

Onto another.  And really.  Why do they want cutie marks in such silly things as bowling?  I don’t see bowling as being a cutie markable subject, necessarily.  And how do you bowl without fingers to put in the bowling balls?  It seems like you couldn’t get much precision by using your muzzle or your feet or anything like that. it’s hard enough for some people to bowl properly with hands.

I can see how a unicorn could bowl, they could use their horns all magically, but maybe that would be cheating, so never mind.

Where did they get those feathers for that hat?  They look like they’re from a ridiculous rainbow-colored peacock.

Hey, Zecora.  ‘Sup.  She manages to rhyme, but she doesn’t always have proper rhythm to her sentences.  It’s okay, though.  It’s kind of neat.

Is Apple Bloom going to try to use potions to get a cutie mark?  That’s a bad idea, darling.  That’s a really bad idea.  Hm.  And Heart’s Desire flower?  No good can come of this, and I’m positive of this.  Apple Bloom is going to try to use that rooster potion to get her cutie mark because heart’s desire – and is that a real cutie mark or is it fake?  I bet it’s going to go away.

Snooty ponies.  I wish that Silver Spoon didn’t have such cute glasses, because I know you’re supposed to hate her, but she’s still kind of cute.

Don’t get self-centered and cocky, Apple Bloom.  Especially since I’m still halfway convinced that the only reason this is working is magic, and it’s not going to end well.  Nope.

It’s going super fast because it’s about to explode into something horrible and now there’s an addition to the cutie mark?  That means it’s magic.  Somehow I feel like this cannot end well.  I am so skeptical.  All of this nonsense is magic.  And not the good kind.  This is magic that she shouldn’t have done, because in using Zecora the zebra’s stuff, she accidentally broke Zecora’s trust and disobeyed Zecora’s logics.

And now she’s going to dance until she catches on fire.  Careful what you wish for, Apple Bloom.

Twi, here you are doing your research.  Twi, if my sigil wasn’t a cat with glasses, my sigil would probably be you.  Because you do your research.

I bet Zecora can help.  She can reverse the magicks that Apple Bloom accidentally unleashed on herself.

These are the most ridiculous talents that have ever been exhibited by anypony in Ponyville.

Zecora’s “zebra sense.”  Of course.

This is what you get for stealing and lying, Apple Bloom darling.  While lies can be fun in much fiction, they don’t ever seem to work out well in Ponyville.  Case in point, how is being a tornado a talent?

Where in the world is Fluttershy?  I want her to appear and do something adorable.

See?  Magicks gone wrong.

I typically have a really hard time with moral absolutism, but for some reason, here in Ponyville, it works really well. It goes with the wonky physics and nonsense.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which Twi plays with chaos magicks and Princess Luna is socially kind of a vampire.

Because there is no better way to (basically) kick off a year than ponies.

Oh my Twi.  Checklists within checklists within checklists.  Checklist-ception.  Also, lists.  I approve of lists always.  And I approve of cupcakes, too.  Especially when they come with deliberately ridiculous attention to detail.  Oh, sweet darling, my pony princess of detail and working to please others.

Also, for how long is Spike going to still be a baby dragon?

A relatively adorable, slightly manic compulsion is going to be the main point of this episode, and it seems somewhat ridiculous on one hand, and Spike thinks so too, but honestly, Twi.  I understand youuu.  Academia-related panic attacks can be this frantic and escalatey, and they’re real things that happen and should be dealt with.

Maybe a lesson that Twi could write the princess about in regards to Rarity’s thing is that sometimes even if it isn’t dramatic or particularly noteworthy, helping a friend even minutely is a show of friendship.  Maybe.

Is this psychiatrist Twi?  Well, she’s silly, but she’s wearing glasses, so.

Fluttershy taming a bear.  Nope.  Giving a bear a massage.  That’s awesome.  But Flutter is still a badass.

Also, sometimes I feel like Twi doesn’t trust the princess as much as she should.  Shouldn’t she know by now that Princess Celestia is going still love and respect her no matter if her friendship report is a day late?  Princess Celestia loves and respects her no matter what, pretty much all the time.

Sweetie pony friends, yes, Twi is getting herself all worked up, but it’s important to her, so it’s not nothing.  For those in the world prone to panic attacks, it’s a normal part of life and you should respect that and not dismiss it.

You can always tell when the ponies are craycray because the whites of their eyes take over.

Oh, no!  Desire spells.  Bad move, Twi.  You should really know better.

Actually, this is EXACTLY LIKE “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.”  Except it’s a rag doll that they’re fighting over instead of a Xander, and it was enchanted for Twi’s personal purposes instead of a misfired love spell.  But.

Hey!  Look at all those friends learning a lesson about taking Twi’s problems seriously.  Hey, look at all you guys mm-hmming like Sailor Moon characters.  I love you guys and your excellent ladyfriendships (and I guess Spike too, sometimes when he’s not being stupid).

OKAY ALL I SAW IN THE SUMMARY WAS “HALLOWEEN” I AM EXCITED.  Also ready for this to also be like season two of Buffy.  But really, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is always like season two of Buffy, at least the first half.  Or season one.

Is this Spike the baby dragon dressed as a bigger dragon?  And there’s Twi dressed as an obscure historical wizard pony.  That’s adorable.

Nightmare Night.  Well, they have equivalents for everything else.

OH MY OH MY GODS THERE IS A TINY LITTLE BOY PONY WITH A LOWERCLASS BRITISH ACCENT DRESSED AS A PIRATE WHOSE NAME IS PIP.  And Twi, I understand your frustrations.  It can suck to have worked super-hard on a costume and not have most people get it.

Oh, Twi, please start a pony group about pony history.  I want to know all about pony history.  And physics, again/still/always.

Also, Zecora the zebra, good to see you.

Oh my god those pegasi look like they’ve got bat wings.  And is that Nightmare Moon?  I thought she turned unevil a while ago.  KNEEL YOU PUNY PONIES, IS THIS NOT SIMPLER?  Really.

Princess of the night using the royal “we” and an autotuned echoing speaking voice.  Nightmare Moon, you’re so pretty though.  Ohhh but she’s just playing, and nobody understands it.  Except Twi, of course, because Twi understands most things and she just wants to HEEELP.

And Luna gets the costume! D’aww.  Even though Luna still doesn’t know how to people – or, you know, pony.  Luna is socially awkward.  And I kind of love her for it.  And for talking like olden days, all “thee” and “thy” and “nay” – except for “nay” is also a pun, I bet, on “neigh” – and she doesn’t understand the concept of normal everypony fun and she’s been sleeping for 1000 years and is of the night –

Basically Princess Luna is a vampire.  And I love her.  I love her.  She’s so adorable.  “Thou ungrateful whelp!”  Oh, oh, oh, my goodness.  Luna you precious socially awkward vampire pony with your misguided attempts at fun-having and helping and friend-having.

“AS YOUR PRINCESS, WE COMMAND YOU.”

You guys are making this so easy for me.  You guys being the writers, I guess.

Little princess pony saying she wants to be a zombie next year.  That’s adorable.  Twilight Sparkle going to go have serious talks with the princess.  That’s perfect.  She’s trying so hard Luna is just misunderstood, you guys.  “Hast thou come to make peace”?  Oh, Luna.  “She’s changed, Pinkie, she’s not evil or scary anymore!”  Yes yes.

And now they’re going to… learn lessons about how being scary is fun?  And Princess Luna should appreciate being able to participate in this way?  Because ponies like being scared?

Why did Pip’s British accent go away?  It was super-endearing and I miss it already.

So Princess Luna is learning that it’s fun to participate and sometimes it’s fun to be the villain except for not, because if everyone knows that you’re not actually but you’re still pretending, well.  Basically Princess Luna is/was playing like three sides and I adore her.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whimsy Wednesday :: two My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic cocktails

One of my people called me a degenerate for inventing such a thing as a My Little Pony cocktail, but I am of the internet.  That’s a place where this sort of thing is okay.  I do intend to do these at least for the main six ponies eventually, because completism is fun.

Twilight Sparkle
1 1/2 shots grape pucker
1 shot blue curaçao
1 shot vanilla schnapps
Howevermuch lemonade you like
Grenadine to your choosing

The grape pucker, blue curaçao, and vanilla schnapps go in first, then fill to appropriate levels with lemonade (similarly, if mixing in a smaller glass, reduce the shot size accordingly).  Put the grenadine in last, then stir it with something – a lot of the grenadine’s purpose is to make the drink go from a bluish color (because actually, grape pucker is almost a blue color by itself, even) to a more purple and therefore more Twilight Sparkle color.  Also, this drink tastes similar to a grape Jolly Rancher.

Applejack
1 shot cinnamon schnapps
1 1/2 shots apple pie schnapps
Apple juice

Very, very simple: schnapps, schnapps, juice.  When using the canned apple juice and the glasses I always mix in, it ended up just being a full can of juice, but that’s variable.  Also, you can’t see the label very well, but the apple pie schnapps is Dr. McGillicuddy’s brand, and I’m not kidding.  I also don’t remember how it got into my liquor cabinet, exactly, but it must have been a gift?  I decided one day I wanted to try using it, then mixed it with the cinnamon; this was one of the rare times that the mix actually came before the theme and not vice-versa.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which there are the requisite friendship breakup/no just kidding episodes.

There is something comforting about the twinkly music and bright colors of My Little Pony when everything else is overwhelming and busy.

I kind of enjoy that the Cutie Mark Crusaders just got into an argument containing the phrase “what are you, a dictionary?”  It’s little things like that that help me tolerate them.  But why are they freaking out so much?  Like it helps illustrate the point about discord but –

Wait what.  Why did the quasi-dragon just chuckle evilly?

Rainbow just landed in a cotton candy cloud and there are other ones flying around and – what why?  Insert confusion – chocolate milk rain?  Popcorn popping?  And of course Pinkie is the only one enjoying herself in this insanity.  I’m sure there’s some good explanation for why everything is crackier than usual.  There has to be.

I bet it’s going to be in the letter.  They’re being summoned!  That doesn’t happen every day, especially not with the super dramatic music.  An old foe.  Why do I feel like this is an episode where they got – wait, wait, the statue is the evil guy – yeah, this is an episode where they decided to throw in some plot drama because they’ve buttered us up enough with thousands of fluffy stories before this.  This is literally the first episode since the first two episodes that follow this plotline.

Why does the princess keep the elements of friendship in a purple-stone Catholic cathedral/art gallery?

The evil guy sounds like a Buffy villain.

Also, I enjoy Celestia’s angry hoof tapping.

And thank you for the exposition, evil window dragon?  I think?

“The fate of Equestria is in your hooves.”

Now Discord’s magic is… maiming the ponies?  And why is he monologuing like the bad guy in a James Bond film?

Oh, Flutter.  It’s going to be okay.  I predict here and now that the evil guy’s magic will confuse everyone, will make everyone doubt themselves, will make everyone doubt each other –

Yep.  That there was a misleading flash-forward to something that is not going to be as dark as it seems.

Clearly, the evil guy’s magic is also going to turn everyone into dull colors and make them contradict their element of friendship.  Because otherwise, there would be no conflict.  AJ lied (though not very well), Pinkie’s going to start to question the laughter of others and get all paranoid again, because we all know Pinkie’s susceptible to paranoia.  They all turn to muted colors when they get hypnotized.

Now they’re going to make Rarity selfish somehow?  Or lured to – something?  She shan’t succumb.  Oh, my sweet little lady.  Yep.  Now Rarity’s been hypnotized into thinking that’s a giant diamond and she’s too selfish about it to help?  Or something.

Yes, yes you can do this, Flutter.  My darling, it’s okay.

Let’s take a second to unpack this statement: “how weak and helpless they think you are.” / “Oh, no, I am weak and helpless, and I appreciate your understanding.”  Flutter, baby, you are not either of those things.  Clearly you are not weak, because you were the most resistant to Discord’s being a bitch – clearly you are not weak because we have learned this before about how everyone’s strength is different.  Why is it that the evil guy makes them unlearn their lessons –

Oh wait, I know.  Pony misandry.  He’s an evil jerky jerk guy who is here to make them disregard their beautiful feminist lessons that they’ve learned.

Quick, to part two!

A Buffy villain or a Sailor Moon villain, either way.

Twi, obviously they’re all acting like this because he hypnotized the colors out of them.  Sometimes I kind of dig chaotician villains, but this guy is kind of tiresome.  I was hoping that the next elements of friendship would be a better plot than this – I mean, this is okay, but it’s kind of stressful.  I came here to destress, not to get a headache from all the pony chaos.

This is the writers’ excuse for just getting away with all of the cracky ideas they came up with but couldn’t fit anywhere else.

They’re becoming even more desaturated.  Look out, look out.  Twi, you ought to realize that something’s up!  You’re the one who realizes these things.  I suppose this is why it’s time for the library! See, Spike noticed.

And Flutter just told a “your face” joke.  Oh, honey.

This is kind of like Twi having to babysit the others.  And why the hell is Discord so interested in messing with these little ponies?  He doesn’t even know the, and it’s not like he followed them into Twi’s library to watch.  Does he just get off on the notion of chaos?  Or something?

The liar, the grump, the hoarder, and the brute.  It’s like the cranky Breakfast Club.

Meeting his fate means wearing sunglasses?

This isn’t going to work and something double-terrible is going to happen to Twi since she’s been so far untouched.  Yep.  That’s what’s going to happen.

Discord, why oh why are you such a bitch?  Plotlines like this happen in everything that could need them, but I never like them.  I always just get stressed out when everyone’s all NO NO FRIENDSHIP BREAKING UP NO especially when it’s goofy.

And this is starting to remind me of the Care Bears Alice in Wonderland.  I don’t remember the proper title of that, which is why I’m not italicizing it.  Twi was the element of magic, but instead of being unmagic she’s just really depressed?

And the letters are making her feel better?  The letters are being sent to help?  Okay!  Yep!  Discord is a big misogynist jerky jerk and their ladyfriendship is going to triumph over him.

See, you know it’s chaotic because pigs were flying.

And here comes Twi being all !!! FIX ALL THE THINGS!!!  With her maaaagic just don’t let it get the best of you baby, but I trust you.  I know you’ll figure it out in the end.

She’s going to resaturate them one by one!  And now they all think everything that happened was a dream but that’s okay because it was stupid and come on, come on, come on, everything’s going to be all right.  Memory spells but like… for remembering and not forgetting.  So that’s a thing that’s good probably?

See Flutter YOU ARE NOT WEAK you just are strong in different ways and at different times and it is wonderful okay.  These are the first episodes of season two, which okay I’m starting to see the point – elements of harmony to start every season.

See, houses of cards.  This is the Care Bears Alice in Wonderland.

Or regular Alice in Wonderland.  Or whatever.

This isn’t chaos so much as pure crack.  But, you know, thanks for trying.  This is the children’s version of chaos I guess.  Glowy magic eyes!  Rainbows of wonder!  It’s all going to be okay.  And now they’re getting… commended by the princess?  Of course they are.  That stained glass window is going to change every season I guess?

–your fangirl heroine.

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which crazy eyes are had by many and fancy parties are clearly lame.

…why does Pinkie Pie have a pet alligator?  And why is the alligator so freakety tiny?  Also, I’ll buy the pet cat, the pet bunny, I’ll even buy the pet dragon since he’s not really a pet so much as an assistant.  But alligators?  I can’t see them standing for being a pet.

Also, Pinkie’s house is ridiculous.

Also, Gummy?  How is that an alligator name?  Is it ironic because alligators don’t have to gum things because they have teeth?  Or something?

There’s nothing cuter than a pony using a straw, I don’t think.  Except for maybe ponies dancing.  And I don’t think Gummy actually wants to dance.  He looked pretty disinterested in the whole affair.

I’m pretty sure the moral of the story won’t actually be –

Wait.  Afterbirthdays sound gross.

- anyway, the moral of the story cannot actually be “don’t be hyperactive and pushy and let people/ponies just do their own thing without needing to inflict organized socialization on them all the time maybe” but I feel like that’s the moral that I’m taking away.

“Most beautiful one”?  Are.  You.  Kidding.  That was the best face, Rarity.  That was a face that said “are you kidding,” I want to take a picture of that face and attach it to some of my real life “people suck” story tumblr posts.

I think Flutter and Rainbow have the best lie.  Also I like their little lie dance.  Cave-sitting for a bear who likes to go to the beach and collect seashells/play beach volleyball?  Good.  Good ones.

Spoiler.  They’re throwing Pinkie a party because she throws them so many nice parties and they thought it would be nice to return the favor.

Also, none of them.  None of them are good secret agent spies.  That’s the crappiest disguise, and when your feet make “twinkletwinkletwinile” noises when you sneak, you’re going to be found out.

And the alligator has dead eyes kind of.

I get it, they’re throwing out purposely suspicious sounding dialogue between everyone so Pinkie will get really sad and upset, but they’re really talking about not wanting her to ruin the surprise they’re going to give her because they want to surprise her and really I think another moral message here is “surprise parties are bad ideas.”  I mean, I threw a couple of good ones in my younger days, but mostly I’m just fondly reflecting on the one where we covered the entire ceiling in streamers and then made that video with the lip-synced showtunes and… other things.  The rest were kind of lame, because surprise parties are bad ideas.

Don’t be a suspicious suspicious pants, Pinkie.  Also, “okie dokie lokie?”  No wonder you’re all suspicious.

ALSO YOU DON’T HAVE A CHANCE WITH RARITY, SPIKE, YOU ARE A BABY DRAGON AND SHE IS A PONY AND LIKE I’M SURE SHE LIKES YOU AS A FRIEND BUT THOSE ARE NOT SPECIES THAT CAN COHERENTLY INTERMINGLE.

Also Pinkie, that blinky face was a great reaction face as well.

Her hair’s deflating!

I really need someone to explain to me why exactly dragons eat jewels, and I also need someone to explain to me why Pinkie’s gone all psycho so instantly.  She is cracking up hardcore.  Those are some epic, epic crazy eyes.  And I completely agree with Rainbow’s “Creepy Town” assessment.  I don’t think I’ve ever agreed with Rainbow more.

See?  Called it.

Baby girl, you are going paranoid.  And you are going to now learn that you shouldn’t be paranoid, because that’s not what friends do.  Her hair is fluffy again!  All is well in the world.  Or something.

…why was Spike pelvic thrusting and somehow ponies doing a conga line is more awkward than people doing a conga line.

Oh, the Grand Galloping Gala.  Didn’t they start talking about this ages ago?  That carriage is not big enough for all of those ponies unless it’s like a magically enchanted room in Harry Potter.  And why do they need a carriage pulled by horses?  They are horses.  Oh wait, it’s so we can find a token use for the token male ponies that doesn’t make them need to converse with the actual ponies much.

Ohhh.  Rarity wears false eyelashes.  That explains it.

That castle is pretty precariously balanced there on that mountain, and what in the hello are they wearing and why does that castle look like It’s A Small World, and why is there a song now and how do they decide what is song-worthy?

…Rarity, baby, sometimes princes are not all they’re cracked up to be.  Just remember that.

Haven’t you already had opportunities to impress the Wonderbolts before, Rainbow?  And why are there so many terrible can-can girl ponies in this show?  And Twi, you are the most outrageous fangirl ever.

This song is not nearly as complex in actuality, but I’m pretty sure they just tried to write the Into the Woods prologue number.  Like, that’s what that just was.  With the overlapping business at the end especially.

Why does the Princess’s hair wobble and move and oh my god, Twi, couldyou be making bedroom eyes more obviously.  Holy, holy crap, Rarity.  I’m guessing right now that he’s going to wind up being a d-bag.  And I’ve said before that Flutter is Giselle from Enchanted and it’s still the case.

Is this the episode where everybody fangirls?

Let me guess, the cool ponies of Canterlot won’t be impressed by Pinkie’s enthusiasm.  This is a place where ponies are actually named Blueblood, so they’re not going to be into enthusiasm.  And yep, he’s a self-involved d-bag.  It’s just going to get worse, and the animals are going to evade Flutter further, and Rainbow won’t be able to actually do much hanging with the Wonderbolts even though she’s technically hanging with them, and Pinkie will be embarrassed, and Twi won’t be able to have time to hang out one on one with her secret crush the Princess, and AJ won’t sell desserts, and everything’s going to go terribly for everyone.

Spoiler alert.  Gentleponies aren’t always nice, celebrities aren’t always friendly, animals aren’t always friendly, society ponies aren’t always interested in pie or dancing, and princesses don’t always have time to socialize.

Why the hell does that pony have a monocle?  Why the hell are all of the Ponyville ponies dressed so much more elaborately?

Also, “you do the pony pokey even if your date’s a lout, because you’re better off without”?  Well-timed advice, Pinkie.

Flutter, you’re getting the crazy eyes and stuff, sweetie.  Pinkie, I really don’t think these guys are going to be into club raves.  AJ, apple cake, best plan, except now it’s gotten on Rarity, and Rarity, you are telling him off thank you yes.  Rainbow, that was a disaster.  All of this is a disaster!

But the moral of the story will be: even terrible disaster parties can be… good memories?  Maybe?  Yes.

Other moral: fancy parties are lame and improved by ridiculousness.

–your fangirl heroine.