Superlative Sunday :: the 2013 MTV Movie Awards and how I feel about them

I did not watch the MTV Movie Awards.  (I don’t think I’ve watched them since I was about twelve.)  I have no wry commentary on the attendees or presentation.  The results are all online, though, so here goes nothing.

Movie of the Year: The Avengers.  A win that delights me, surprising no one.
Best Musical Moment: the “No Diggity” scene in Pitch Perfect.  Well, all right, that’s fine I guess?  All of the nominees were at least good scenes, and hey, Anne Hathaway already got an Oscar, I don’t think she cares about also getting an MTV Movie Award.
MTV Generation Award: Jaime Foxx.  Ooookay?
Best Villain: Tom Hiddleston as Loki, The Avengers.  As I’ve said before, I don’t really care too much about Loki one way or the other, but it’s a very solid performance?
Best Shirtless Performance: Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn – Part 2.  Oh yeah, that’s why I don’t watch the MTV Movie Awards.  This is actually a category.  I’m a little sad now.
Breakthrough Performance: Rebel Wilson as Fat Amy, Pitch Perfect.  She was definitely a scene-stealer, so.
Comedic Genius Award: Will Ferrell.  I personally haven’t given a damn about Will Ferrell in years, but I guess his comedy is to some tastes, so.
Best Kiss: Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook.  Well, you guys remember my feelings about this movie.  I’m leaving it at that.
MTV Trailblazer Award: Emma Watson.  Okay, I like her, awards for her are good things.
Best Fight: the battle with the Chitauri in The Avengers.  To which I say hell yes (I also point out that this was the only fight amongst the nominees that a woman participated in, so I support the win even just on principle).
Best WTF Moment: the end sequence of Django Unchained.  I’m not sure if it was WTF in the way that any of the other nominated scenes were, but it’s a good scene and a good movie, so I can’t complain.
Best Male Performance: Bradley Cooper as Pat, Silver Linings Playbook.  See above re: the movie.
Best Female Performance: Jennifer Lawrence as Tiffany, Silver Linings Playbook.  See above and also see my discussion of the Oscars re: her performance.
Best Scared-as-S**t Performance: (If you’re going to use naughty language in the title of your award, at least be on a channel where you don’t have to put ** in your naughty word.  I know that’s nothing they can help on the one hand, but on the other it just looks silly.)  Suraj Sharma, Life of Pi.  I’ve still not seen this and probably won’t, but at least they didn’t give it to Jessica Chastain for Zero Dark Thirty, because excuse me, I take offense to her excellent work in this film, even just in a scene it seems like, being reduced to the label “scared-as-s**t.”  (Besides, the only time you can be brave is when you’re afraid.  So.)
Best On-Screen Duo: Mark Wahlberg and an animated bear, Ted.  Which… no.  The reason the MTV Movie Awards are so wonky to me is that you put things like Ted up next to things like Django Unchained; hell, I even am bothered by putting Mark Ruffalo and Robert Downey Jr.’s Bruce and Tony pair against an animated bear and his raunchy friend.  It just seems wrong.

–your fangirl heroine.

Film Friday :: 2012 in film (2 opinions, 4 predictable favorites, 4 awesome people)

Opinions
2. I don’t care, I’m going to actively promote evil queen Charlize Theron to everyone.
I mean, I liked Snow White and the Hunstman pretty decently well overall, as you may remember.  It’s that kind of ridiculous dark thing I generally appreciate.  But the more I think about it, the more I go: wow, wow, but evil queen Charlize Theron is actually the best thing ever.  I haven’t seen a lot of Charlize Theron movies, or I’ve only halfway seen them, or I wasn’t really paying attention, but wow, maybe it’s just that I sort of dig on evil queens, but I enjoyed the hell out of this particular performance.

1. There were a lot of movies this year that I objectively recognize were good but just… didn’t really care about overall.
The Dark Knight Rises.  Skyfall.  Looper.  Friends With Kids even.  For different reasons each time, but also largely for one overarching reason: I have such a hard time caring about the movie when I don’t care about the characters and/or don’t necessarily appreciate how they were being used.  It’s not that I didn’t like these movies.  To whatever extent, I did. But I wasn’t thinking about them too much afterward, I wasn’t analyzing everything about them happily, I didn’t feel compelled to jump into discussions about them.  I actually kind of fear being asked to join discussions about The Dark Knight Rises, because there really isn’t anything insightful I can say about it.

Predictable favorites
4. Brave
I just rewatched this movie the other night.  And ugh it makes me so happy.  I don’t really need to repeat myself, but it did so many things right and I adored it for that.

3. The Perks of Being a Wallflower
See but this would also have been a predictable disappointment, because I do not recall the last time I was this nervous about a movie.  The Perks of Being a Wallflower is such a big part of my adolescence that the film had some monumentally-sized shoes to fill in my eyes.  But not only did it fill those shoes, it was actually a really really good movie that did a lot of the things that I thank Brave (and actually the next two movies I’m about to discuss) for.  Yes, Charlie (Logan Lerman) has a crush on Sam (Emma Watson).  But that is not the point of the movie, the point of the movie is friendship.  It’s a love story, but it’s a platonic love story about these young people who care so deeply for each other, and that makes me so absolutely happy.

2. The Avengers
You can see where this is going, no?  I talked about how this movie was almost immediate fulfillment of a wish I expressed: a movie about platonic relationships.  Because aside from Tony (Robert Downey Jr.) and Pepper (Gwyneth Paltrow), there is absolutely no romance in this movie.  (I mean, if you’re too desperate for Avengers romance, you can basically look… anywhere on tumblr or the rest of the internet and find every possible permutation of romantic relationships between every character who has ever appeared for half a scene in the MCU.)  This is a movie about a bunch of people, extraordinary people for whatever reason, who by all rights should not get along, but still manage to forge a beautiful team and do some world-saving.  And this is a movie where the good guys never ever go “oh yeah, and here’s our token lady team member,” they just appreciate her skills like they appreciate (or sometimes don’t appreciate) anyone else’s skills and go about their day.  This is a movie where things felt high-risk and where things felt real even if it was about superheroes and space aliens and where characters were interesting to me.  This is a movie where I actually got invested in really just about everyone.

1. The Cabin in the Woods
This is the height of predictable.  This is also not the only list (or sublist I guess) that this movie will be heading up in the near future.  This movie, though.  This movie has romantic relationships and makeouts and whatnot, Curt (Chris Hemsworth) and Jules (Anna Hutchinson), Dana (Kristen Connolly) and Holden (Jesse Williams), and this is largely because it’s integral to the genre critique and the extreme meta factor.  But you know what I love?  I love the handling of the “Marty and I were sweeties in our freshman hall” bit, insofar as it’s refuted with a “we made out once” and not turned into some source of tension (one of the pieces of Cabin meta I’ve found online talks about this; I don’t remember which one, but one of them, all of which are in my Cabin in the Woods tag so go find it if you’re curious I guess) I love that even while Dana and Marty (Fran Kranz) were running around destroying everything, even while they were clinging to each other and being sweet to each other as the world combusted, they didn’t actually have romantic subplottiness.  It’s so easy to pull that “last boy last girl shove ‘em together” stuff, and that has definitely happened in the genre before.  And mind you, I actually do kind of ship Dana and Marty.  But I like that it didn’t have to be made canon.

Awesome people
4. Rooney Mara(The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo)
It almost seems like this movie came out last year, since it was so close to the year’s beginning.  But nope, this was a 2012 movie indeed.  And I just.  I love her.  Between this movie (because while I adore Noomi Rapace’s Lisbeth, I am not in love with her) and the fact that this was the year I finally finished the book trilogy, 2012 was the year I actually fell in love with Lisbeth Salander.  I think she’s great, and I think she’s fascinating.  She’s a badass, she’s a techie savant, she’s unapologetically bisexual, she’s unapologetically everything actually.  She’s just great.

3. Zoe Kazan (Ruby Sparks)
I really loved this movie.  Probably because of all of its meta.  But I love Zoe Kazan because she’s adorable and I found the evolution of Ruby in the story to be pretty interesting, and I love her because this was her movie.  She came up with it, she wrote it, she made happen what she needed to make happen.  And that’s super-super-cool.

2. Fran Kranz (The Cabin in the Woods)
We’re into the predictable again.  As I’m sure I’ve mentioned, I get inordinately proud when watching this movie with other people and they express fondness for him, be it the couple sitting in front of me  the third time I saw it in theaters talking about how he was the most awesome one in the movie or be it my friend proclaiming that not only was he awesome, he was pretty cute.  I am bordering-on-creepy-proud of my Fran and how well people reacted to him in this movie.  I am so happy that he was the star of everyone’s hearts.

1. Scarlett Johansson (The Avengers)
I definitely mentioned before that I’ve actually always kind of had a Scarlett Johansson thing.  This used to be for reasons that I couldn’t quite articulate, because it wasn’t because of a particular movie or because I’d read something cool with her or anything.  It just sort of was.  But after The Avengers (and her growing real-life fantastic reactions to people talking to her about it) I feel completely justified in this for the first time.  Because I’m sorry, Entertainment Weekly, but Loki being the one character from this movie that you pulled out specially to mention in your end-of-the-year whatnot?  Noooope.  I am ambivalent toward Loki, actually; I don’t hate him, but neither do I fall all over him going “aw poor baby.”  However, Black Widow has become at least to some of my friends one of my real life things, like British accents or cupcakes or dragons.  Because Black Widow is fantastic and wonderful, and I and the world needed a character like her in this (and really any) movie so much.  She is my rational, kickass, imperfect, literal-minded, well-developed darling, and I am so glad she exists.

–your fangirl heroine.

Spoiler Alert Saturday :: my thoughts on The Perks of Being a Wallflower

As you guys all know, I was really nervous about this.  And I would be lying if I said I hadn’t procrastinated seeing it somewhat due to those nerves.  But I’ve realized something.  At least for me, this isn’t the kind of story that only mattered at a point in time.  I mean, it mattered at a point in time, it mattered like hell, but — okay.  It still matters.  I took one of my people who hadn’t ever read the book, and just judging by the way it still affected her, it works no matter what.

• Everyone held up.  I didn’t love Logan Lerman’s Charlie in the same way that I loved the Charlie on the page that I fell for when I was thirteen, but that’s because I’m pretty sure I couldn’t love anyone fictional in that way.  That was the intense pain of first fictional love, and though it’s faded with time, it’s still a certain specific kind of feeling.  But I wasn’t disappointed with Logan Lerman’s Charlie, either.  I found him very appropriate and effective and by the end actually very heartwrenching.
• This is the refrain I have about… everything.  Heartwrenching.  I’d forgotten, I think, how heartwrenching it could be, which is silly because I remembered what happened.  I just didn’t remember the emotional punch it packed, and maybe this is the point where I should just disclaim for y’all that I cannot be objective about this.  I was either going to walk out perfectly contented with the adaptation or completely outraged, and I am happy to say it was the former.
• Emma Watson’s Sam was… well, not at all how I imagined Sam when I read it, but it worked.
• Ezra Miller’s Patrick was actually phenomenal and somewhat how I imagined him to be.
• Mae Whitman’s Mary Elizabeth was basically perfect.  I’d had my doubts about Logan Lerman and Emma Watson, I’d never registered Ezra Miller, but I knew of Mae Whitman and I was expecting it to work wonderfully.  So in that way, positive expectation reinforced.
• Johnny Simmons wound up being a much better Brad than I originally thought; I guess since all I had in my head of him was Young Neil, I couldn’t imagine him a football player, but it worked.  It worked much better than if they’d cast a “jocky” looking guy, actually.
• Erin Wilhelmi as Alice.  A’daww.  Alice was actually always my favorite, probably because we knew the least about her and she never actually wound up with anyone even superficially (I mean, it looked liked she went to the prom with Patrick, buddies-style), and though my Alice-as-Columbia theory was disproved (Mary Elizabeth being Columbia, presumably because they only really showed the Floorshow much) my Alice/Mary Elizabeth theory was proven, or rather revised.  Because maybe this is just how I read… oh, everything, but I was getting some definite “Alice has a secret crush on her best friend, Mary Elizabeth” vibes there.
• Paul Rudd as Mr. Anderson.  Okay, I’m not complaining.  I like Paul Rudd well enough.
• Nina Dobrev as Candace.  I honestly don’t remember much about the sister in the book, but it was done well here.
• Kate Walsh and Dylan McDermott as the parents.  Well, I’m pretty sure I’m never going to be able to trust Dylan McDermott entirely after American Horror Story, but they did fine too.
• Basically: feelings.  I open myself to your judgment, but I also am unashamed.  Because at the end of the day, yeah, this was a movie that had romance, but it was mostly a movie about friendship and self-journeying, and ugh, I love movies about friendship and self-journeying.

–your fangirl heroine.

Things in Print Thursday :: and they put out the Perks of Being a Wallflower trailer.

Okay. I’m talking about this on Thursday because for me, it will always be a Thing in Print. This is my first time even watching this trailer and I don’t know but I really can’t think right about it and oh god god god I can’t do this.

This book was my heart in eighth grade, ninth grade, plus that. Charlie was my first love. Charlie was my first love and it is so hard to see someone else’s vision for it. I have never been able to see Logan Lerman as Charlie. I have never been able to see Emma Watson as Sam.  Nothing against either of them.  I have no Logan Lerman feelings, I think Emma Watson is just fine, but I just… it doesn’t match.

I want to like this movie. I want to see this as an accurate representation of something that happened in my heart. I’m just terrified that it’s going to come off some cliché, like that strummy music in the trailer, and that is making me so anxious.

We were infinite.

These were words that were so beautiful when I was a teenage kid and I loved this book.  Maybe it wouldn’t be the same even if I went back and read the book at this age.  Maybe it was perfect in its time and the moment has passed.  I don’t know.  I hope not, because that would be unfortunate.

(But I’m pretty sure the book never actually said who played Columbia in their shadowcast and I’m looking forward to confirming/denying my Alice as Columbia theory, because I always sort of got a hint of Alice/Mary Elizabeth in there, and I will admit to having felt a teeny bit of Columbia/Magenta at times.  So.)

–your fangirl heroine.

Spectacular Summaries Saturday :: the summer movie round-up

For my purposes, summer at the movies begins mid-May and ends… last week.  That’s about the timeframe for hauling out “summer” movies (I say that in quotations because some don’t fit and some are trying to hard to fit in what makes a successful summer blockbuster).  I’m categorizing and therefore judging.  Bolded titles in every category have won the category.

The contenders (summer movies I saw)
Thor
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Bridesmaids
The Hangover, Part II
X-Men: First Class
Super 8
Green Lantern
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
Captain America
Cowboys & Aliens
Our Idiot Brother
Fright Night

Superhero movies!
Thor
X-Men: First Class
Green Lantern
Captain America
This one would have been close if X-Men hadn’t been out.  Thor and Captain America both have the bonus of leading up to The Avengers, which I am geeking for like a boss, and they were both pretty good.  Thor had glassesy Kat Dennings and direction by Kenneth Branagh, Captain America had badass red-lipstick-and-pencil-skirty Hayley Atwell and the killing of supernatural Nazis.  But X-Men was set in the 1960s, starred a crap ton of attractive people that I have infatuations with to varying degrees (James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Rose Byrne, Nicholas Hoult…), featured a whole load of fun moral gray areas, was badass, was directed by Matthew Vaughn… clear winner.

Sequels!
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
The Hangover, Part II
X-Men: First Class (ish)
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
I say ish for X-Men because it’s sort of a prequel, but it still wins.  The other three were very of their franchise.  Pirates was a lot like the first three Pirates movies, except it had the advantages of being minus Orlando Bloom and plus Ian McShane.  The Hangover was exactly like the first Hangover, except it was in Bangkok instead of Vegas.  Transformers was a lot like the first two Transformers movies, except it had the advantages of being minus Megan Fox and plus Alan Tudyk.  X-Men wins in my opinion because it tried to do something different with itself.  You could argue that’s easy, given the prequel nature, but Wolverine was a prequel and it was still pretty similar.  (Not in a bad way necessarily, I am a giant fan of the franchise [probably another reason this was a given] but it was.)

Comedies!
Bridesmaids
The Hangover, Part II
Our Idiot Brother
This is a tricky category, because every one of these movies sort of made me want to slap some bitches a few times.  But Our Idiot Brother only made me want to slap the characters; the actors and writers were mostly imaginary slap-free.  Bridesmaids and The Hangover made me want to slap the characters and the writers both; the former because I am just so freakishly sick of women movies being hailed as great stories of sisterhood or whatever when really they’re doing nothing but buying dresses and bitching each other out, the latter because it was, as mentioned, exactly the same as its predecessor.  They were all occasionally funny, but I laughed the most and the hardest at Our Idiot Brother.

Action!
Thor
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
X-Men: First Class
Green Lantern
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Captain America
Cowboys & Aliens
Well, I’m giving every award ever to X-Men, so I decided I should mix this one up a little.  All superhero movies, regardless of how little action they actually have, are often categorized as action movies; all of these had some pretty epic fight scenes, but again with the mixing it up.  And Cowboys & Aliens had gunfights, alien fights, AND space explosions.  The others can’t say that.  So most diverse action!  Harry Potter ties in, because of epic magic battles.  And just my need to give it some win out of intense love.

And now begins the chosen from everything awards.

Sexiest cast: X-Men, obviously.  You have McAvoy for the cocky intelligent pretty-boy thing, Fassbender for the smoldering vengeful brilliant antihero thing, Hoult for the a-freaking-dorable nerdboy thing, Byrne for the brainy brunette thing, Jennifer Lawrence for the cute blonde/sexy mutant thing, January Jones for the ice queen thing, Zoe Kravitz for the exotic thing, the other X-boys for their own things… there’s something for everyone.

Girlcrush created: Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter in Captain America.  I appreciated her in Pillars of the Earth, but I legitimately crushed on her here.  Kickass British vintage women win always.

Girlcrush intensified: Kat Dennings as Darcy in Thor, of course.  If that wasn’t evidenced by my repeated mentions of her in her glasses, she’s also the funniest thing in the movie.  Way more interesting than Natalie Portman’s Jane, too.

Girlcrush allowing me to forgive your character: Zooey Deschanel as Nat in Our Idiot Brother.  She messed up her relationship with the also-adorable Cindy (Rashida Jones) all over the place, but damned if I don’t still sort of love her.

Mancrush created: Nicholas Hoult as Hank/Beast in X-Men.  More at the beginning of the movie, because I have a harder time being attracted to him after he’s an accidental jerk to Raven (Lawrence).  But when he’s all SCIENCEGEEKING! and sweatervesty and glassesy, oh yeah.

Mancrush intensified: Michael Fassbender as Erik/Magneto in X-Men.  I sorta had a thing for him since Basterds, but damn can that man wear a suit!  Also, I find his ability to speak so many languages massively sexy.  And though it’s not the easiest to deal with in real life, I find moral grayness more interesting than black or white in fiction.

Mancrush allowing me to forgive your character: Anton Yelchin as Charlie in Fright Night, at the beginning of the movie mostly.  He manned up and geeked out as it went on, but he was sort of lame and trying to be cool at the start.

Epic bromance: Charles (McAvoy) and Erik (Fassbender) in X-Men.  This one is pretty straightforward.

Fail bromance: Stu (Ed Helms), Phil (Bradley Cooper), Alan (Zach Galifinakis), and Doug (Justin Bartha) in The Hangover, Part II.  Fail because they repeated the exact same mistakes they made last time, fail because they behaved completely like people do not behave ever, fail because they weren’t really that amiable towards each other, and fail because they left Justin Bartha out of a lot of screen time.

Epic ladybromance: …for what it’s worth, Megan (Melissa McCarthy) towards anyone in Bridesmaids.  She was the only one of the women who was actually good at being a friend, really.

Fail ladybromance: Annie (Kristin Wiig), Lillian (Maya Rudolph), Helen (Rose Byrne), and… well, all the rest of them in Bridesmaids.  They were all just awful friends towards each other, which I’ve already ranted on plenty.

Epic romance: Moira (Rose Byrne) and Charles (McAvoy) in X-Men.  Not that we saw any of it except for that one kiss, but I was so very into it.  Also Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) in Harry Potter, because they finally kissed and they’re finally together and aw.

Epic fail romance: Nat (Deschanel) and Cindy (Jones) in Our Idiot Brother.  Epic fail meaning they were so cute, and then failing just had to go and happen.

Fail romance: Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) and Angelina (Penelope Cruz) in Pirates.  Annie (Wiig) and Ted (Jon Hamm) in Bridesmaids.  Sam (Shia LaBeouf) and Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whitely) in Transformers.  Need I go on?

Most wasted performer: Ian McShane as Blackbeard in Pirates.  He did everything he could, bless his heart, but he still didn’t have enough to work with.  Not for his brilliance.

Most intense emotional reaction: the entirety of Harry Potter.  Because of everyone who died, because of the story, because of the battling, because now it’s over and I’m sad.  Because it was just perfect.

Best diversion from canon: Neville (Matthew Lewis) and Luna (Evanna Lynch) in Harry Potter, because it’s obvious, we all know that they should have been together and they so totally had the feelings.

Eager anticipation incited: thanks to Captain America, for The Avengers, of course.

–your fangirl heroine.

Spoiler Alert Saturday :: my thoughts on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

I cannot do this coherently; I’m honestly still pretty emotional about it.  I, like many of my generation, grew up with Harry and his friends.  Well, I didn’t start reading the books till I was eleven, but they’re eleven in the first, so it still feels like a lot.  I don’t disregard latecomers, better late than never.  And it’s possible the deep connection could kick in no matter how long it’s been.  But I acknowledge that while the books are not perfect and the movies (especially the earlier ones) are not perfect and there are flaws and things I’d have liked to see and all of that, well.  These stories have been a part of me as I grew into myself.  I, also like many, have that connection that can never die completely, but knowing it’s really truly over is still a low blow.

So, in true me fashion, bullet points.

• I did attend the midnight premiere, of course.  I’ve been to two others, Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince, but I’ve never dressed up before.  Thanks to my father’s Potter-themed fantasy football league and my having been a “mascot” for it, I now have the goods.  I have a gray pleated skirt (ordered offline from a uniform supplier) and black hose and shoes (like I wear with, oh, y’know, everything) and a white button-down and a blue and yellow (bookstyle) tie (I am in Ravenclaw, I always have been; even before I knew Harry Potter I attended a themed birthday party and was sorted into Ravenclaw then) and I made myself a yellow and blue giant hairbow (I was sort of like Ravenclaw Hello Kitty) and even though the sweatervest I ordered offline didn’t show in time I pulled one of my massive stash of cardigans out, this one gray, and it did the job.  My friend I was with went as Luna, with tie matching mine and button-downs and cardigans and hose as appropriate, plus a wacky scarf and giant heart-shaped glasses.  The others in our group were Hermione and Ginny, and they had the requisite ties as well.  They don’t actually sell Ravenclaw ties in stores, so ours were JC Penney’s finds, really; and because I prefer the bookverseing, yellow and not silver.  Though I have the scarf from the theme park and it’s gray.  But, it’s not winter, so that wasn’t necessary.  And it’s a heavy-duty scarf.  I figure this would be my last chance to indulge in the epic of dressing for Harry Potter, I might as well take it.  Also, when I see it again (I know I will) I intend to at least wear the hairbow.  I made it, I might as well.
• There are many things I understand could not be featured in the movies deeply.  They usually weren’t even that prominent in the books, but I’m the kind of person who latches onto not-as-prominent characters and romances and storylines and holds on for dear sweet life.  Things like the adorable that is Bill (Domnhall Gleeson) and Fleur (Clemence Poesy).  Sure, all we’ve ever really seen of their romance is their wedding and then their being at the cottage.  But their love is true and I therefore adore it so much.  And it’s said, largely on these interwebs, that Bill really brought out something great in Fleur.  I didn’t hate her when we were first introduced to her, but I didn’t like her either.  She seemed sort of shallow.  But she loves Bill, even scarred, even werewolf-y, and she’s totally turning into an awesome protector-y Order babe in his company.  And even the glimpses.  I LOVE.
• You know who else I love more than I can really say?  Luna (Evanna Lynch).  She’s one of the only characters I’ve always felt was cast perfectly, and she has never, ever disappointed me.  The fact that she manages to maintain an attitude that’s at least open to positivity or something like it amongst everything, well.  I just adore her way of being.
• AND SPEAKING OF LUNA I do not care what J.K. said, Luna and Neville (Matthew Lewis) are made for each other.  Besides, as one of my professors pointed out, what the author says about their work after the fact may carry some weight, but it is not necessarily as true or “canon” as what is actually written in the book itself.  Once it’s been published, it’s been let go into the world.  And in the world, someone had the brilliant idea to make Neville want to finally declare that he’s “mad for [Luna]” and then there’s cute awkward looking that goes on at the end.  And cute awkward looking.  That look.  That look means yeah, we’ll wait a respectable amount of time, then this is going to happen.  I know that look.  It’s one that makes me wicked happy.
• AND SPEAKING OF NEVILLE I am so proud of that boy.  I mean, I was when I read Deathly Hallows, but seeing it just made me giddy.  He grew up into such a badass.  Also, his speech pre-Harry being ha ha surprise not dead was one of the things that got me teary.
• Yes, I actually cried.  Anyone who knows me knows how significant this is.  I can have very serious emotional feelings about things, and often I do.  I actually get more emotionally attached to a lot of my fictional loves than I do to real life acquaintances at times, for whatever that’s sociopathically (?) worth.  But usually, even if my breath gets all choked up and my chest starts to heave like I’m hyperventilating and I’m wibbling, my eyes just… don’t produce tears at fiction.  I do cry in real life sometimes.  I’m not that deranged.  But this… this is the second time since my childhood reading Little Women and Anne of Green Gables and other books where beloved characters died (the first being 2008 during “The Song of Purple Summer” during my fourth time seeing Spring Awakening [they'd just posted the Broadway closing notice that week, a few days ago really]) that I have cried real, legitimate tears.  I think I cried for this for the same reasons I cried that once during Spring.  It’s a chapter of my life closing.  And though I can go back in my heart, it’ll never be quite the same as having it there fresh and new for me.  Or something overwrought like that.
• I cried for Fred (James Phelps).  I cried for Tonks (Natalia Tena) and Lupin (David Thewlis) like a baby.  I cried, as mentioned, at Neville’s speech.  But the thing that got me absolutely hardest, which is ridiculous as in any other story I might acknowledge the deus ex machina of a bunch of ghosts giving a very sentimental and touching pep talk as potentially silly, was when Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) was in the forest and Lupin and Sirius (Gary Oldman) and his parents (Adrian Rawlins and Geraldine Somerville) were all there in ghost form to talk to him before he went to Voldemort.
  Harry: You’ll stay with me?
  Lily: Always.
  Sirius: Until the end.
  I think it was really then that it hit me.  This was the end.  And they (and we) were there with him, out of love, out of devotion, out of tenderness, out of caring, out of — so so much.  And it was beautiful.  Not at all cheesy.
• Let’s take a moment to talk about Tonks and Lupin, too.  I have a strange devotion to their love, both because I think it is wonderful (that Tonks is seriously In Love with him, no matter what) and because back before the sixth had even come out and their love hadn’t even been revealed, my friend and I idly commented out of nowhere that Tonks and Lupin should hook up.  AND WE WERE RIGHT.  This is one of the many reasons that I have been told I am a teensy bit psychic about things that aren’t really that relevant to the grand scheme of life.  But even though we did not see them a lot in the movie, and the only mention of their progeny little Teddy was when ghost!Lupin told Harry that it was all right his and Tonks’ son would grow up knowing that his parents had died for something right, I was indignant when Entertainment Weekly‘s special Potter bullseye was all “We feel like we should care about Tonks and Lupin but we just don’t.”  Sure, if you’ve never read the books maybe.  But how can you not love their love?  You do have a soul, right?  The moment of them grabbing for each other’s hands might be one of my favorite images from the film.  And yeah, they did make me cry like a baby when they were dead.  (I remember when I read the book, turning the page and seeing “Tonks and Lupin’s bodies lay side by side” or whatever the exact quote was did definitely knock the wind out of me.  Their death is downright Jossian.)
• Supporting character supporting characters supporting characters.  Lavender (Jessie Cave) has grown up some, hasn’t she?  Cho (Katie Leung) is less of a whiny bitch, isn’t she?  Seamus (Devon Murray) still likes to explode things, doesn’t he?  And thank you for mentioning it McGonagall (Maggie Smith) that was a brilliant callback to something that once just seemed like a cute gimmick.
• Ginny (Bonnie Wright) Ginny Ginny.  I have such a weird relationship with movie!Ginny, as she is… well, she was better when she was younger, I think.  She hasn’t grown enough into that Strong Badass Lady Warrior Ginny I loved from the books.  And her chemistry with Harry is weird at times.  But, but, but, their Kiss of Desperate I Need To Kiss You Before We Possibly Die love actually… wasn’t strained.  Which I was glad of.
• There was no rioting in the streets.  This is what I proclaimed would happen did they not include possibly the greatest line in Potter history, Mrs. Weasley’s famed exclamation to Bellatrix.  “NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!”  And when Bellatrix (Helena Bonham Carter) stepped up to try and kill Ginny, Molly (Julie Walters) was there in a heartbeat.  And she said it.  And they battled like bosses.  Molly really is an epic witch.  Hers is the kind of devoted yet not self-abandoning parenting I love so dearly, and that line is the greatest, and my friend and I were at least somewhat responsible for starting the round of applause after it, so hurrah.
• Can we just take a minute to appreciate the epic that was Kelly Macdonald as Helena Ravenclaw?  I love Kelly Macdonald, I have since No Country for Old Men, and sure we didn’t get all the in-depth backstory, but her Helena was perfection.  She went from docile to eloquently pissed (and, the Whedongeek notes, slightly scary veiny) in moments and she was great.  And she was beautiful in the costume.  I do wish there would have been more time for explanations of the past, here or with Aberforth (Ciaran Hinds OMFG JULIUS CAESAR FROM ROME WAS DUMBLEDORE’S BROTHER HOW MUCH WIN IS THAT) or in plenty of other places, but I understand why there weren’t.
• McGonagall’s activating the stone soldiers made me so happy.  She was so happy about getting to finally use that spell, giddy and all, and that was awesome.  Giddy McGonagall is made of win.
• The Malfoys were perfect.  Absolutely.  I still don’t understand Narcissa’s (Helen McCrory) weird skunk ‘do.  But their ending was beautiful.  That clear sense of “we are just not going to be a part of this anymore kthnxbai” was the exact right ending for them.
• Also, the Room of Requirement.  Steampunk much?
• Explosions and cracking magical barricades are… well, bad, violence is bad.  But they’re kinda pretty.
• Bellatrix my psycho bitch goddess so much epic and loooove.  I hate her, I hate her, I really do, but I love her at the same time.  She’s just so evil and so deranged and it’s hard not to like someone who does magic battles in a corset.
• Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) is still a creeper.  And that hug to Draco (Tom Felton).  SKEEEEEEEETCH.
• Okay, finally to the trio.  First off, I just have to very shallowly observe that when in the Bellatrix dress, Hermione (Emma Watson) had epic cleavage.  Twisted observation, I know.  But it needed to be said.
• You have finally resolved the sexual tension Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione thank youuu~  Their kiss was one of the most perfect kisses I’ve seen in a long time.  It was just such a relief and such a welcome moment and really sort of “I’ve always regretted… never being with you” in the best of ways.  Harry and Ginny may not have super great chemistry, but these two… man alive.  The little look that Hermione gave Harry when she and Ron entered the Great Hall holding hands was pure brilliance.  It was like “Don’t you dare tease” and “I know isn’t it great?” and “Took him long enough” and “I am so so happy” all rolled into one.
• Harry was pretty epic too.
• Oh yeah, and epilogue.  I was sort of ready to laugh all over the place, which, yeah, I did a little (everyone else laughed at “Albus Severus” too so it was okay) but it was actually really sweet.  All the children were cute, but I especially thought little Rosie (Helena Barlow) was adorable.  She looked so much like her parents.  Harry also seems to be a really, really great dad.  And Ron’s dad hair!  And Ginny’s mom hair!  Definitely not as ridiculous as I expected.

–your fangirl heroine.

Social Life Sunday :: I profusely apologize for the absurdity and crackiness of this post, majority of the world.

Regardless, I promised some old friends I’d commit their high-concept idea for a film to post, with graphics no less, and I don’t like to go back on my promise.  Let this be a lesson to anyone looking for something to do over dinner: inventing a high-concept, cracked out film, then casting it, can keep you occupied for hours.  Hours.  This is why I classed this post as Social Life Sunday, and not Sundry Sunday.  Because it was spawned from a very sociable evening.

So, here’s The Hangover, Part Sister Wives.  I swear I only recorded this information, very little of it was my own invention, but I am the sucker with a blog and a fondness for documentation, so.  This is a story of eight women, based on my friends whose idea this was and some of their other friends (loosely based) who all marry the same man, then go to Vegas and have torrid affairs.  I have no idea why.  The “why” of this film was never discussed.

Yes.  You are seeing that cast correctly.  That is, clockwise from top left, Lauren Bacall, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Selena Gomez, Kristen Wiig, Tina Fey, Oprah Winfrey, Emma Watson, and Ginnifer Goodwin.  (At least Ginnifer Goodwin has experience with the whole sister wife thing.)  The girls got to pick which actresses would portray the character (loosely) based on them, and they divvied up their other friends accordingly.  Even as I was going “what.”  Amused what, but also sort of so-horrified-I-can’t-look-away what.  And Vin Diesel is the husband.  Apparently, his character would be a vetereniarian.

The girls also got to pick their own partners to have an affair with.  (It should go without saying that the girl played by Oprah was one of the ones not present, and the choice of Gayle King was strictly a real life in-joke.)  Despite the fact that virtually none of them make much sense, the affair partners are, again clockwise from the top left, James Franco, Patrick Stewart, Jason Segal, Jake Gyllenhaal, Jason Sudeikis, Gayle King, Ryan Gosling, and John Krasinski.  Apparently, the women were going to collectively divorce Vin Diesel and marry Will Smith at the end, too.

Now here’s where the fun part comes in.  These are the extras.  Neil Patrick Harris was going to play, naturally, the gay best friend.  Christina Hendricks (who, of course, was meant to represent me) would be every single random woman ever, while breaking the fourth wall adamantly; the flight attendant hands someone their drink, then winks at the camera.  Nathan Fillion (representing the hapless guy friend along for the dinner that spawned this) would be the male equivalent of that.  Joseph Gordon Levitt, being desired by all, would be the go-to threesome guy.  Alexander Skarsgard would be the ski instructor.  (I dunno.)  Emily Blunt would somehow be the antagonist of this film.  Kate Hudson would be the attorney.  (Presumably for the divorce[s]?)  Kristen Bell would be the, and I quote, “wedding detective.”  No, I don’t know what that means.  And Andy Samberg would be… something.  They weren’t clear what, they just believed he needed to be there.

Now that I’ve confused you, bewildered you, and jumped the shark very possibly, I will go back to the reason I am actually posting this all.  Friendship.  Sometimes, no matter how old you are and how busy your lives are, it’s nice to sit down with friends and just get ridiculous.  All-out, no holds barred ridiculous.  Ridiculous like you don’t know how you even came up with this stuff.  Ridiculous like you sort of want to apologize to the actors and actresses you cast in this theoretical mess.  Ridiculous like you’re not going to be able to forget it any time soon because it was just that hilarious.

At the end of the day, it’s just the memorable laughing moments that really matter.  And I hope, my friends, that I have helped provide the four of you with more of those.

–your fangirl heroine.

Things in Print Thursday :: Top 5 thoughts I currently have about the Perks of Being A Wallflower movie

5. It’s my favorite book ever, so I’m protective, okay?
No, really.  I’ve loved this book since I was thirteen, and I just don’t want people sticking their filthy paws in it messing it up.  Because I love it so so so much.

4. But at least it’s Stephen Chbosky writing/directing.
So he won’t bastardize his baby unless the producers insist on it, hopefully.

3. I thought they were in high school?
Entertainment Weekly said it was set in college.  And that’s a big, big difference.  A high school freshman and a college freshman are two completely unlike creatures.

2. The casting so far (thanks imdb) is… what?
I mean, Emma Watson as Sam?  Totally not the kind of person I’d pictured.  And who on earth is Candace?  I’ve read the book at least ten times, and I don’t recall a Candace.  An Alice, but those are two separate names.  And it’s played by that girl from The Vampire Diaries, so… skeptical.  And that boy from Percy Jackson as Charlie?  No way.  I’ve been in love with Charlie for absolutely ever, and just… that does not add up.  At least Mae Whitman is a perfect Mary Elizabeth.

1. Just… how is it going to work as a movie?
Since so much of it is internal monologue in the form of anonymous letters to strangers.  I mean, I hope it translates.  But I’m really really worried about how it will.  Really worried.  Like, at first my reaction was “oh, cool, I hope it works” and then it turned into “oh, god, it’s not gonna work.”

–your fangirl heroine.