Monster Monday :: I guess today I’m musing about werewolves.

This is not for any particular reason (I mean, I’ve been watching a few episodes of season 2-3 Buffy randomly lately, but that isn’t it).  I’m sure there are plenty of books and films and whatever that are about werewolves exclusively or only, but I realized today that I can only think of one.  Blood and Chocolate.  It’s based on a book that I haven’t read, and I don’t remember the movie too clearly, but I do remember that it just sort of made my friends and I giggle.

Why is this?  I actually don’t have an answer to the question, it’s not like I’m asking why rhetorically as a lead or something. I mean, werewolves aren’t necessarily the sexiest of supernatural creatures.  But werewolf mythologies seem a lot of times to be tacked on to what was already a vampire mythology, so I’ll just do my big 3 of analysis, because really, I need to talk about how creepy Stephenie Meyer’s werewolves are.  Actually True Blood werewolves are occasionally creepy too, but a lot of it (not all of it) is more the individual I guess.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

• Oz (Seth Green) is really the only werewolf we ever know, and that’s not till season two.  I’d think that Sunnydale would have to be home to some sort of wolfpack, being as it is home to basically everything else supernatural.  And there had to be at least one wolf in town in order to have bitten Oz’s cousin who then bit him.  But maybe that was a traveling wolf just wandering through town biting babies?
• DINGOES ATE MY BABY.   That is all.
• Since Oz is the only werewolf we know, and Veruca (Paige Moss) really the only other werewolf we see (there are apparently a couple on Angel, which is my summer project but I’m still just barely in season two, what have I been doing with my life), we get a pretty complete lone wolf mentality.  There aren’t really packs hanging around that we see; the Buffy wiki entry on werewolves does mention packs, and they are mentioned in passing on the show, but we don’t see them, really.
• Sometimes Buffy werewolves look adorable and silly, like people in yeti suits; sometimes they look like people in more serious yeti suits.
• As per the events of 4×06, “Wild at Heart,” and the surrounding, we get a pretty clear sense of Oz’s and the others’ moral stance on werewolfism (?) and what goes with it.  Oz has the others restrain him at the full moon until he goes off to learn to control it and change at will, Veruca thinks that’s dumb and wolfs out when it happens, regardless.
• Buffy werewolves are fascinating to me because everyone but the Initiative seems to see them as a shade of gray.  The Scoobies make exceptions because Angel has a soul, and Spike eventually has a chip and then a soul, but other than that, they aren’t really asking examining the life choices of individual vampires.  “The Scooby Gang and the Angel Investigations team argue that werewolves can’t be held accountable for their actions in lupine form. They do make an exception to this belief when it comes to werewolves that, knowing of their condition, do not seek any method of restraint, regarding these individuals as they would regard common vampires and demons, or at least a dangerous human,” says the Buffy wiki.  Yes, there aren’t really vampires or demons or anything who do try to keep from the killing, except the souled guys, but they have a conditional policy about werewolves.  Which is interesting.

True Blood:

• We don’t get werewolves until season three (or book three) here.  At first, we mostly know Alcide (Joe Manganiello), then we meet Russell’s (Denis O’Hare) crazy V-addict wolves and craycray Debbie (Brit Morgan).
• And Alcide, until season four, also seems to be a lone wolf.
• These guys have the magic of modern computer generated imagery on their side, so they look like real wolves.
• Packs are first presented in the light of the crazy V-addicts, so we don’t have the best first impression.  There is definitely a ceremony to belonging to a pack, and that is in and of itself fascinating; the True Blood world has a lot a lot of ceremony in it, a lot of structure that always seems to want to be broken.
• But the packs don’t actually seem that great.  I mean, there’s the having a pack aspect, having folks who know your secret (since weres aren’t out yet at this point) and who you can wolf out with, and that’s theoretically good.  But abjuring is kind of weird, and packmasters are a strange thing.
• Oh, okay, we’ll talk about this creepy factor for a moment: Martha Bozeman (Dale Dickey) wolfing out at the sight of her son Marcus’s (Dan Buran) corpse and then leading the rest of the pack in the ritual nomming, because apparently it’s expected to nom your dead packmaster.  Ick.
• Also, werepanthers aren’t werewolves, but at least in the television series, creepy.  No good comes from incestuous cult-families of poorly educated supernaturals who think it’s okay to kidnap people for sex.  No.  Werepanthers, at least the Hotshot ones, I’m just going to call bad on.

Twilight:

• Wrong bad no.  Having werewolfism be a part of the Native American tribe could actually be cool, and I’d be interested in seeing someone do something with that who wasn’t being creepy and gross.  But these guys… wrong bad no.
• I am still laughing about the fact that these guys routinely ripped their shirts off.
• And still cringing about the handling of Leah (Julia Jones).  Quotes from the Twilight wiki: “Seeing their daughter phase rather than their son, Seth, her father suffers a fatal heart attack.”Whoa potentially gross.  “She and Jacob have a deep conversation one day whilst hunting, mentioning how being frozen in time has stopped her menstruation cycle and may have disabled her ability to get pregnant. Jacob also remembers her breakdown when she first became a wolf, thinking herself as a freak, a “girly wolf”. Leah also wonders if she maybe isn’t as feminine as she thought she was, and wonders how imprinting would be for her. It is in this discussion that Leah mentions how she can relate to Rosalie’s protection of Bella and the idea of never having a child from her own body was upsetting.”  I mean, if Leah really wants to be a mommy, she could adopt, couldn’t she?  But apparently not physically birthing one would just be too much.  And honestly, if you want to have kids, that’s your business, whatever.  I just still find it frustrating that basically every female character in Twilight who is remotely significant except for Alice has to be written as defined by motherhood roles or a lack thereof.  Also: Dear Leah Clearwater, you can be as feminine as you damn well please and still be a wolf, being a wolf who may not birth a child physically doesn’t make you a bad woman, there are many ways to be a woman.
• And it’s weird to me that Leah is the first lady wolf at all.
• Aaand imprinting.  It’s like an arranged marriage and a biological imperative formed by entitlement and just… creepiness all around.  And really, I am still making faces (as I am sure most people are) over the notion of imprinting on a fetus.  Again, the wiki says it all: “Unlike her imprinter, the imprintee can choose whether she’ll accept him as her ‘soulmate’ or not. It is however implied that a rejection is highly unlikely, since it is said that it would be very hard to resist the levels of “commitment, compatibility and adoration”. It has also been noted that the imprintee feels incomplete without the wolf nearby.  /  But if she does choose someone else over the shape-shifter, he will be in deep emotional pain, though he will still respect her choice.”  Well, at least there’s that respect, theoretically.
• These guys are technically shifters and not werewolves, but they’re… basically wolves.  They might as well be wolves, the rules are close enough.
• Yet again, the mythology just… no.

–your fangirl heroine.

Fictional Friday :: the show/book debate rages on.

Regarding, what else, True Blood.  This is the last post of True Blood Week, I promise.  As I’ve said before… I actually prefer the television series.  I was shocked to realize this, being typically an original source material purist, but both because the show is at least in my opinion better-written (Charlaine Harris is a fine writer.  But she’s not exactly a crafter of sparkling and interesting prose.  The television writers aren’t necessarily capital-L Literary either, but I find they’re… actually a bit better than her) and because the pace and fashion that events unfold in in the books wouldn’t necessarily be appropriate nor suitable for a high-energy television show.

So, without further hesitation (and with much assistance from Wikipedia) I present a side by side comparison of happenings in the book and in season four of the television series, and my thoughts on the changes.

• “This novel opens on New Year’s Eve, three weeks after the events of Club Dead,” Wikipedia states. 
  or
  season four of the television show begins with Sookie (Anna Paquin) in the fairy realm that she entered at the end of season three.  When she returns to Earth after what seems like twenty minutes to her, she realizes that she has been gone for over a year, and it’s now October. (4×01, “She’s Not There”)
  Verdict: Considering the way they ended season three, they sort of had to begin this season as they did, and considering that Sookie didn’t learn about fairy politics in the books until much later and the writers of the series are attempting (I think) to bring elements of the later books in sooner ’cause they don’t think that they can or will keep the show going for twelve seasons, I’m all right with this melding.  It’s not pure adaptation, but they’re allowed to take the liberties.  Especially considering that not-going-for-twelve-seasons problem.
  
• Queen Sophie-Anne has not been a main character, period.  Bill has somewhat fallen out of relevance.
  or
  Queen Sophie-Anne (Evan Rachel Wood) was a main part of season three, and at the end of season three was seen engaging in a battle with Bill (Stephen Moyer) because she knew of Sookie’s fairy heritage and he was not going to let her live knowing that, he said.  As reveled in a flashback (4×02, “You Smell Like Dinner”) this was really a set-up so that Nan Flanagan (Jessica Tuck) could get snipers to execute her due to vampire politics and put Bill on the Louisiana throne, as he is more compliant with AVL politics.
  Verdict: As I’ve mentioned before, I enjoyed Sophie-Anne.  She was unapologetically, stylishly psycho, and that’s always fun for the TV.  Initially I was a little bit what the hell about King Bill, but his kingliness made him man up some, so ultimately I’m good with it.  And he would have had to remain part of the main plot somehow.
• “Sookie Stackhouse finds Eric running down the road close to her home [naked, I add], but he seems to have lost his memory. Sookie, initially reluctant to get involved in vampire matters once again, takes Eric in,” says Wikipedia.
  or
  Sookie is readjusting to her life after being away for so long and discovers that Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) has purchased her house, believing she’ll be coming back and wanting an in on her life.  After some arguments, Sookie goes to Bill to get him to exercise kingly power over Eric.  This is going to be a fail, so she goes to talk to Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) and get Pam to talk to Eric.  Once Pam has also proved useless in her battle against her sexy Viking vampire landlord, Sookie drives home, only to find Eric wandering along the roadside shirtless and apparently amnesic.  She’s a bit reluctant, but doesn’t doubt that she has to be involved.  (4×02, “You Smell Like Dinner”)
  Verdict: Again, given the changes in timeline and whatnot, I understand these changes.  They didn’t want to give us totally naked Eric right away, which I accept.  (I admit I was looking forward to it, but hey.)  And this set-up made for more Pam banter (“he pulls good string”) so I’m good with that as well.
• “ Eric’s second in command, Pam, is relieved at Sookie finding Eric, and explains a coven of villainous witches, some of them also werewolves, has arrived in Shreveport, set on extorting money from Eric and taking over the local power he has. Hence, Pam believes the witches to be responsible for Eric’s erased memory,” says Wikipedia.
  or
  Bill has sent Eric after a coven of witches who are practicing necromancy, and his attempts to break them up is the cause of his amnesia.  There are no werewolves involved in this and money is not an issue.  Pam learns through a phone call from Sookie that Eric is now in the throes of amnesia.  Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) goes to Fangtasia to speak to Eric, not knowing that Marnie’s spell cast amnesia on him, and sees Pam instead; he, Tara (Rutina Wesley), and Jesus (Kevin Alejandro) are roped into helping fix Eric.  Pam figures out that they were involved in the Wicca circle he was investigating prior to his disappearance.  They bring her together with the leader of the circle, Marnie (Fiona Shaw), but Marnie casts a spell on Pam so that her body decomposes (4×04, “I’m Alive and on Fire”); Pam then has to spend a couple of episodes in a state of physical icky while she tries to sort out what has happened.  While she is decomposing, Pam accidentally spills to King Bill where Eric is; this leads to Bill discovering Eric’s amnesic state and almost giving him the true death for being a danger to their kind (he could be under the witch’s control, he rationalizes – really it’s a little jealousy-driven).
  Verdict: Well, what do you think is better sinister television?  Necromancy (and therefore being able to control the vampire population) or… extortion?  Really?  And if you were so keen on extortion, you could extort the vampires you had under your magical witch control with necromancy if you wanted.  Also, like I said before, more Pam is never a bad thing, even though decomposing Pam is unfortunate.  Poor baby.
• “After Sookie’s brother Jason bargains on a financial settlement, Sookie agrees to keep Eric in her house and care for him, as the witches are on the lookout for Eric and might harm him. The next day, Jason is missing. Sookie oversees the slowly progressing police investigation of her brother’s disappereance, but personally fears the witch coven might’ve gotten hold of him.”
  or
  Jason (Ryan Kwanten) is kidnapped at the season’s start and Sookie isn’t even aware of it, being busy with her own vampire problems.  (Also, he’s not missing for a terribly long time; she does mention that he hasn’t returned her voicemails, but that aside.)  The witches aren’t exactly on the lookout for Eric, but they would harm him if he turned up again, much like they’d harm any vampires.
• “Later on, Sookie informs werewolf Alcide Herveaux of the witch coven being in town. Alcide and his pack master [Colonel Flood] fear that one of their pack members might have defected to the witches’ side, but Sookie and Alcide then discover this particular woman’s murdered body,” says Wikipedia.
  or
  Sookie tells Alcide (Joe Mangianello) about the business with the witches and Eric.  Alcide promises to help however he can because he’s got a soft spot for Sookie (4×04, “I’m Alive and on Fire”), but his pack master Marcus (Daniel Buran) wants their pack to stay out of witch and vampire feuds.  Most of them seem to be all right with this.  (4xo8, “Spellbound”)
  Verdict: Given that it’s not a matter of extortion but one of necromancy, it’s more vampire/witch politics and less financial/social politics.  It makes perfect sense, especially given the apparent tendency of the series’ werewolf pack to stay the hell out of other supernaturals’ business usually.
• “Back in Bon Temps, Sookie’s workplace is paid a visit to by the leaders of the witch coven, Marnie “Hallow” and Mark Stonebrook,” says Wikipedia.
  or
  Bill arranges to speak to Marnie.  He then holds her prisoner in the complex under his mansion, where she is visited by the spirit of Antonia (Paola Turbay), a woman executed during the Spanish Inquisition who killed vampires via necromancy used to bring them into the sunlight; she is possessed by Antonia.  (4×06, “I Wish I Was the Moon”)
  Verdict: Again, I say that necromancy and possession are more interesting than extortion and whatnot.
• “Meanwhile, Sookie and Eric give in to their sexual interest in each other, while Sookie realizes she wouldn’t have done so if Eric still had his memory,” says Wikipedia.
  or
  …yep.  This was the same.  They had a ton of sex.  The infamous shower sex scene was replaced, to everyone’s consternation, but it was replaced with what has been dubbed on the interwebs as “sex Narnia.”
  Verdict: Shower sex would have been probably sexier, but sex Narnia was good for a giggle (also good for a naked Eric under a blanket that just barely covered his parts).
• “Pam suggests Alcide’s werewolf pack, her area vampires and some local Wiccans unite to fight off the witch coven. They do so and with Sookie’s assistance, brutally attack the witches’ main gathering place, wiping out everyone present but Hallow, whom Pam captures and forces to lift Eric’s amnesia,” says Wikipedia.
  or
  Bill gathers the Louisiana sheriffs and some other vampire friends and they, together with Sookie, Eric, Pam, and Alcide, join together to fight the witch coven.  Bill intended to bargain with Marnie, but Marnie insisted on doing battle.  (4×08, “Spellbound”) The battle leads to Eric and two of the other sheriffs being enthralled by Marnie; it also leads to Sookie’s getting shot, taking Bill’s blood, and having threesome-related dreams with Eric and Bill costarring in them; it also led to Debbie (Brit Morgan) feeling upset that Alcide was so loyal to Sookie while they were still dating.   (4×09, “Let’s Get Out of Here”)  After a Festival of Tolerance turned disastrous by Marnie wielding power over several of the sheriffs to kill humans and attempt to kill Bill, Sookie blasts Eric’s amnesia away with fairy powers; Bill, Eric, Pam, and Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) then resolve to blow up Moon Goddess, even though it could harm the non-Marnie humans inside.  (4×10, “Burning Down the House”)
  Verdict: Well, the wolves weren’t getting involved, only Alcide.  The battle in the graveyard was anticlimactic, because it was only episode eight of twelve and more things obviously needed to happen; Marnie wasn’t going to restore Eric’s memory no matter what, being the crazy bitch she was written as.  Some of the witches got to live.  I’m not complaining.  It was worth it just for Bill and Eric and Pam and Jess to load up with weapons and dress in black and come slow-motion walking out of their van looking so epic.
• “Sookie returns home dismayed at the loss of her “relationship” with the memory-free Eric,” says Wikipedia.
  or
  Sookie has to come to terms with Eric’s return to normalcy; book Eric doesn’t remember what happened while he didn’t remember.  (Truer dollstate, you might argue.)  Show Eric remembers all of it, and he remembers Sookie saying she hoped she could still love him when he was normal again.  He’s distraught too.   Sookie wishes she could have constant threesome loving with Eric and Bill, because she loves them both, dammit, and she’s distraught that she can’t.  Bill still loves Sookie, and he’s distraught about that.  Everyone’s distraught.
• “…and finally retrieves Jason with Sam’s help in Hotshot, a local were-panther community. In Hotshot, Felton Norris, romantically interested in Jason’s one-time fling Crystal, also a werepanther, had contained Jason and purposefully bit him to change him into a werepanther, so that Crystal would lose her interest in Jason,” says Wikipedia.
  or
  Jason had been kidnapped to serve as a breeding stud to the werepanther community of Hotshot; they’re too inbred to breed properly, apparently.  He’s there until 4×04, “I’m Alive and on Fire,” and he gets out by escaping.  He’d been bitten to turn, but only for breeding purposes, so they could breed more proper panthers.  Crystal (Lindsay Pulsipher) was definitely involved, as she wanted Jason to be their clan’s new Ghost Daddy out of love for him. But he got the hell out of there, using his recently acquired sheriff skills (’cause, oh yeah, he became one while Sookie was off in the fairy realm) and whatnot, and he didn’t return.  Nor did he turn into a werepanther at the full moon.  (Either they did it wrong, or the show changed were canon so that you don’t turn into a half-man half-whatever at the full moon like those who are bitten do in the books, you just don’t turn, period.)
  Verdict: Jason’s time in Hotshot was effing creepy, and I was a little disappointed that he didn’t turn, honestly.  Part because it would have been interesting, part because I wanted to see the half-man half-panther makeup/prosthetics/whatever.
• “Fangtasia’s human waitress Ginger was killed by a witch curse,” Wikipedia says.
  or
  Ginger (Tara Buck) gets to stay alive so she can be there to ride Pam’s vibrating coffin and hug her in her moments of tragedy and sadness.
  Verdict: Yeah, Ginger’s being alive served more of a purpose, both one of lolz and of awwes.
• “Alcide Herveaux’s jealous, shapeshifter ex-girlfriend Debbie Pelt was shot to death by Sookie after invading Sookie’s house intending to kill her,” says Wikipedia.
  or
  Alcide’s now werewolf re-girlfriend Debbie is shot to death by Sookie after invading Sookie’s house intending to kill her and killing Tara instead.
  Verdict: Tara dying is sad, yes.  It gives an even better motivation for Sookie having shot Debbie, though.
• Lafayette dies in the second book of the series, Living Dead in Dallas.
  or
  Lafayette is still around and instrumental in the Marnie plot; he is apparently a medium, who can channel spirits.  He randomly channels some dead Creole woman who wants to say goodbye to her baby, then channels Marnie when Marnie dies.  This leads to the killing of Jesus, and it’s very sad.  He says many amusing things.  He is also Tara’s cousin.
  Verdict: Lafayette should be around always.  He’s one of the funniest characters on the show, and Nelsan Ellis is, as mentioned, an expressive actor.
• Tara is Sookie’s (white) friend from high school and now owns a clothing shop.
  or
  Tara is Sookie’s (black) friend from forever who is getting mixed up in supernatural weirdness as much as Sookie and is much more relevant to the many adventures.  Also, she dies.
  Verdict: More interesting.  I’ve wanted to punch Tara, yes, but at least she’s serving a purpose other than “Hi, Sookie!  Here are some pretty 90s dresses for you to buy now!”
• Jesus and Jessica are not in the books.
  or
  Jesus and Jessica are in the show.
  Verdict: I like both characters.  Jesus was very relevant, and his dying was sad.  Jess was mostly relevant and also freakin’ gorgeous.  Also, she is much better for Jason than Crystal (or anyone else).
• Overall verdict: Well, can you tell why I seem to prefer the show?  ‘Cause I do.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whedon Wednesday :: how do you symbolize reflective similarities without mirrors?

Why yes, I am talking about this season of True Blood again!  More specifically, things this season that reminded me of things on Buffy.  The two are completely separate entities, and I don’t think that True Blood has ever ripped Buffy off, but I’m that nerd that finds tiny moments that are fairly similar to tiny moments on Buffy (and Firefly, and Dollhouse) in just about everything.

Some of these got graphic’d and tumbl’d by me already, like this one:

Not only did both Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) and Spike (James Marsters) undergo Significant Changes, these allowed both Sookie (Anna Paquin) and Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) to come to terms with having feelings for them, if only for a little while.  They had almost the same conversation with other men in their lives (Alcide [Joe Mangianello], who has maybe-feelings for Sookie, and Angel [David Boreanaz] who had serious feelings for Buffy; both are tall, dark and handsome men, too, as opposed to the tall badass blonde thing that Eric and Spike rock).  The Significant Changes made the men vulnerable and more willing to play for the side of good.

It’s interesting to note that the initial changes were both unwilling: Eric’s magical amnesia, Spike’s chip.  But Spike then went and took the change one step farther by earning a soul, proving that even without the chip he could love and want to do the right thing by Buffy.  Eric got fairy-blasted, had a memory, then… still wanted to love and do the right thing by Sookie.  It took Spike four seasons to undergo this arc.  It took Eric one season.  But it started in season four of both of their shows.

Also observed previously:

Other than the “redhead I sort of girlcrush on messing with their lover’s memory” thing there’s not much similarity.  Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) screwed with Hoyt (Jim Parrack) via glamouring, then broke up with him because she knew she needed something not their relationship.  Willow (Alyson Hannigan) screwed with Tara (Amber Benson) via magic, then Tara broke up with Willow ’cause magic is kind of like drugs.  Both times it led to bad.  Both times it led to a realization that getting the hell out needed to take place.  In the True Blood case, it was just another reason on Jess’s list, though, and in the Buffy case it was on Tara’s list.

And speaking of Tara…

Tara(s) always get shot, apparently.  The circumstances aren’t the same on the outside, but if you break it down to nouns, there are some similarities: someone who’s craycray (Debbie [Brit Morgan], who is the person that the term craycray was invented for, or Warren [Adam Busch) intends to shoot the cute blonde protagonist (Sookie or Buffy).  Instead or also, the bullet hits a Tara person (Rutina Wesley, Amber Benson).  Much sad is had, and the episode ends with a person close to them (either best-friendily, i.e. Sookie, or romantically, i.e. Willow) splattered with their blood and holding them in their arms on the floor while crying.  And there is bloody revenge (Sookie shooting Debbie, Willow flaying Warren).

And as discussed yesterday, there is this one.

Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) and Dru (Juliet Landau) are my girls.  And they’re both getting left (Dru with a more romantic angle to it, but still) for blonde twits (who aren’t really twits, but in their eyes) with silly names.  (Pam actually calls Sookie’s name out; Dru isn’t the one to acknowledge the goofiness of Buffy’s, but it comes up plenty of other times.)  And then I’m sad for them.

And for a Dollhouse bonus (I can’t graphicparallel doll!Eric ’cause it’s a behavior pattern more than any one thing, and anyway I’m sure I’ve talked about that enough):

Basically, that’s what Jason (Ryan Kwanten) wanted Jess to do to him.  Just go in and take those pesky memories out so he could live in bliss.  I think Jess did actually talk about wiping directly, though of course it was meant differently.  (Jason’s life is kind of a permanent semi-dollstate, come to think of it.  Somewhere between that and want, take, have.  But he means well, stupid as he is.)  But Jess was put off by the idea of using her glamouring powers like a machine again.  She’s learned by now that it doesn’t make anything better.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: and then True Blood’s season was over.

I feel like I ought to preface this by saying that, blasphemous though it may be, I… generally prefer True Blood in its television canon to Charlaine Harris’ novels.  I don’t dislike the novels, I appreciate them for what they are.  But I guess I’m just one of those crazy youths who likes their sex and blood every which way.

The fourth book in the series, Dead to the World, on which the fourth season is rather loosely based, is my favorite of the books.  This is largely due to the the prominence of doll!Eric and the rather distinct lack of Bill, who I find even more boring in book canon.  But, even though it makes me a terrible literary nerd, I am actually more than okay with the changes the show has made, in this season and in the ones prior.

The finale aired this weekend, and I can safely say that I haven’t talked so much and so loudly at a first-run (because yelling at movies I’ve already seen doesn’t count, though I do it) since I watched the end of Dollhouse.  Knowing a bit about me, you should be able to understand the weight of this declaration; not knowing a bit about me, just trust me when I say that meant I was talking a lot.  My most common exclamation during the episode was… well, it wasn’t particularly polite, but it sure was colorful; come to think of it, most of what I was saying was colorful.

Instead of subjecting the world to too much of a play-by-play ramble, I’ll do a highlights reel  (somewhat the finale episode, somewhat the whole season) in the form of my trusty bulletpoint list.

• Earlier in the season, I was decidedly Team Eric (Alexander Skarsgard).  Again, my weakness for doll!Eric is unhealthy.  Not that I don’t love sociopath Eric too, I do, and I was glad to have him back because he’s ruthless and that’s just good television.  I’ve never been Team Bill (Stephen Moyer) in any regard, but I will say that he definitely manned up this season.  Being the King made him learn how to make hard decisions, and when he finally admitted that sometimes people had to die for a greater cause, well.  Aw, baby Bill has grown up.
• But now, I’m on two teams, and one is shippy-ish, yes: Team Sookie (Anna Paquin) By Herself For A While.  She doesn’t need to go off on tirades about it, but right now, until she realizes which of them (if either of them) she wants to be with, it won’t hurt her to be alone.  She should not hook up with Alcide (Joe Mangianello) no matter how hard he begs.  He thinks that their hearts can’t be trusted and their heads are saying “this might make sense” so they should go for it.  But really, Sookie and Alcide need each other as constant friends, not as a romantic relationship that will probably eventually die out.  As friends, they can be there for each other.  They can be listening ears and supportive shoulders.  As romantic partners, they get that plus some sex for a while and then it’ll be over and they won’t have the listening or supporting either.  Unfortunately, Team Sookie By Herself For A While could easily turn into Team Quinn next season, and that boring-ass weretiger should just… stay away.  I get that she’s trying to do the stable thing.  But he’s her Riley (Marc Blucas), to use Buffy metaphors.  He’s dull.  The only part of their relationship that I remember in detail from the books is the fact that they went to see The Producers.  And that’s just because I tend to remember when people see Broadway shows in fiction.
• I’m also on Team Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten).  The relationship between Eric and Pam is fundamentally different from Spike (James Marsters) and Dru (Juliet Landau) on Buffy in a lot of ways – Eric is Pam’s maker and not the other way aroud, they aren’t consistently sexual with each other anymore – but it’s also the same in a lot of ways.  Eric and Spike have gone through similar life changes, with the being “different” all of a sudden and the loving a blonde not-quite-human with a silly name and the apparent rejection of their lady counterpart.  It got me sadder than anything else this episode to see Pam coping with the realization that Sookie was now more important than her in Eric’s life.  The realization that the hundred plus years she and Eric have spent together, the relationship they share bonded by blood and experience, pales in comparison to a little magical true love girl.  Pam and Dru have very little in common personality-wise, but they’re in the same position in a way, and that upsets me.  I suppose Team Pam could also be subtitled, like a great tumblr post I once saw, “Not my Pam you bitch!”  That or it could be lengthened to Team Pam Has Been Through So Much Crap, Why Can’t She Just Have A Happy Sociopathic Vampire Ending Without The Hugging And Learning And Changing?  My tendency to have affinities for the demented, unapologetic ones tends to mean I have an affinity for the ones getting screwed over by the other characters having Great Life Revelations and Changing Their Ways.
• Nelsan Ellis is just a damn fun performer.  He has such expressive eyes that everything he’s trying to get across can be clear in one look.  The choice to make Lafayette a medium was kind of an awesome one, not just for plot reasons but for dude can pull it off reasons.
• This season overall had a lot of fun inhabiting someone else’s body hijinks, and those are always amusing.
• I was happy with this season’s tendency to kill a crap ton of characters.  None of them were main main characters, but there was a lot of death.  And while death in real life is bad and upsetting, death on television shows that the writers have some guts.  For example, I wasn’t too sad to see Tommy (Marshall Allman) go; I never really cared about him one way or the other, and if he did have to go out, he did so in a way that was somewhat redemptive.  I was actually sadder about the flashback to Sophie-Anne’s (Evan Rachel Wood) true death, if for no other reason than Sophie-Anne amused me (fictional sociopaths often do).
• The business of Marnie (Fiona Shaw) passing was pretty epic.  I do love me some ghosts, even if all of the ones that weren’t Sookie’s gran (Lois Smith) or Antonia (Paola Turbay) just hung out in the background.  I tend to applaud every time Sookie uses her fairy powers, just because she should really have devoted some time to learning how but I understand why she hasn’t and it’s neat when she gets around to doing it anyway.
• Jesus (Kevin Alejandro) dying was sort of sad, though.  I sort of knew he had it coming, because I’ve learned to be skeptical when characters are allowed to be in a relationship uninterrupted and (witch drama aside) happily for too long and also he wasn’t in the book canon so he was fairer game.  I knew that poor Lafayette would blame himself, and he actually deserved the happy, so it was unfortunate.  But damned if it didn’t make me wibble (well, giggle then wibble) when he came back to visit a little and Lafayette was like “Don’t leave me” and Jesus smirked “Dude, I’m dead.  And you’re a medium.  I’ll always be with you.”  There is nothing more perfect than “Dude, I’m dead” to lighten the mood a little.
• I was actually surprised by Tara (Rutina Wesley) dying.  I mean, she’s got to be dead.  There is no way you’re coming back from getting the back of your head blown off.  When I saw “Debbie visits Sookie and Tara” or whatever in the synopsis on my TV, I knew it would be Debbie’s (Brit Morgan) time to go craycray, but I didn’t think Tara would be on the receiving end of it.  There are many times over the course of the series that Tara has narrowly escaped a gruesome supernatural death (and some of those times, she’s probably deserved it) but it was actually like Tommy’s death in a way.  At least she met her end in a slightly noble way, protecting Sookie.  And then Sookie got hella epic and avenged her friend messily, and that’s fun.
• Onto lighter subjects and skipping over anything involving the Bellefleurs because I don’t know that I have anything particularly intricate to say about those people, Jason (Ryan Kwanten) and Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll).  Jason is dumb as a box of rocks, but he’s not a terrible person, and I just keep hoping he’ll panther out even if it probably isn’t going to happen; his heart is in the right place when it’s not following his penis around, but that’s what makes his new relationship with Jessica so perfect.  Jess is a young woman.  She’s never been independent and single, between her strict upbringing and Hoyt (Jim Parrack), and she needs to give it a try.  But she can still have her fun with a decent person that seems to appreciate her, can’t she?  He doesn’t mind her going out and nomming on other people.  He’ll give her sex and a good time, and that’s really all that it needs to be for now.  They’re young and crazy, why not.  And from a completely shallow standpoint, I’m okay with the relationship because damn, Jess is sexy.  That sexy Little Red Riding Hood thing she had going, all corsety and gartery, was… whoa freaking hell.
• Russell (Denis O’Hare) is going to be back next season!  Probably more fairy stuff next season!  Flashbacks next season!  (HELL YES FLASHBACKS.  HELL YES ERIC & PAM FLASHBACKS.)
• I get sad when characters die, or when characters are basically betrayed by the people closest to them, or when characters see their dead grandma giving them advice from beyond.  But there’s still the detached writervoice in my head respecting these various choices and the nerve that some of them require.

–your fangirl heroine.