“Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique.”
Oh my god.
And the pony of pop? Is this like the Lady Gaga of ponies? Also, Clothes Horse magazine. Dear. Dear god. Except for she seems also like a southern soul singer. And what is that Elvis jumpsuit oh my goodness.
There are so many beautiful horse-related puns on this show, and I think the fact that I had a horse phase when I was eleven helps me to enjoy those puns as much as I do. They’re just so ridiculous, but they’re so constant.
Oh, Rarity. Ladies are never, ladies don’t. You precious dear.
And… is Spike trying to eat jewels? Do dragons eat jewels? And why the hello does Spike have a crush on Rarity? Is it just me, or is that strange?
Unicorns totally have the bet powers, though. With their magicks and their apparent gemstone detectors?
…Gollum is hiding in the bushes now?
Multiple Gollums are hiding in the bushes?
Angry dogs are Gollum?
“Diamond dogs”? Did they pay money for the rights to that phrase? Is it out of the statute of limitations of copyright? Is this enough ridiculousness that nobody cares?
…and now the entitled male dogs felt compelled to kidnap the only female in the scene, just so Spike can lead the other ponies to rescue her. Guys, I am disappoint.
Subterranean evil dogs exploding mud volcanoes in ponies’ faces?
Did Rarity just have a fake Southern accent for a second there? I’m not one to talk, considering my vowels have been known to go at least three different kinds of British and Southern in the course of one sentence, but doing a Southern accent on top of the British one that’s usually there seems strange.
I sort of want these stupid dogs to just leave. They’re bitches.
Oh, good. All the other ponies think that Spike/Rarity is as weird as I do.
Except ugh, Spike, you bitch. Go away and take your damsel in distress gō se with you.
I really hope Rarity is down in the evil dogs’ cave, like, making them all sweaters or something.
Ugh Spike. Ugh. You are no true knight and not in the interesting way and I just. Go away.
Okay, apparently Equestria caves are different than real ones. Since everything else is off, that makes sense, I guess. I WANT AN EXPLANATION OF PONY SCIENCE AND PONY PHYSICS DAMMIT.
Yay for Twi’s magicks!!!
Okay seriously. Dogs, go eat nitroglycerin or something. Entitlement is icky.
This is singlehandedly the grossest episode of the series thus far. I mean, at least the dogs are clearly aligned as the bad guys, so their behavior is pretty easily condemned, but still. We didn’t need this. Like, it would be one thing if Rarity got to save herself, but.
She’s at least complaining and standing up for herself in here. Yeah, Cordy baby, this feels right. Okay, and now the dumbass dogs are being respectful of her, and so this is getting less gross.
Okay, so I’ve been doing Angel this summer, and I am literally on the Pylea episodes this exact week, and yeah. Maybe that’s why I’m all “oh look, I watched this this morning.” I mean, it’s different, but it’s still similar enough to make me giggle.
It totally just sounded like AJ said “fuck them up.”
Oh! Thank you for trying to call Spike on his stupid, Twi.
And now Rarity has indeed saved herself by means of her ability to annoy the dogs so much they want to make her go away. “Just because I’m a lady doesn’t mean I can’t handle myself in a sticky situation.”
And Twi. “Just because somepony is ladylike doesn’t make her weak. In fact, by using her wits, a seemingly defenseless pony can be the one who outsmarts and outshines them all.”
Not gross after all! Oh, good. I was afraid this was going to be an excuse for Spike to save the day, but no! I should have known better, my surprise feminist ponies wouldn’t do that to me. Much better lesson. Much much much better. Actually, it’s a valid lesson, and lots of people could stand to learn it, she said while glaring down whichever faction of the internet hates unfairly on Sansa.
Now onto something else, with a reception area. And Rarity has a funny hat.
They’re at the spa! Why are they at the spa? Who or what is a Photo Finish? Oh, a fashion photographer. Wacky?
Don’t you guilt Flutter into modeling for you if she doesn’t want to, Rarity. You’re threatening to make all of my recently-found Sansa-related goodwill feelings for you go away. Nobody messes with my Flutter.
Oh, dear. This is going to be a hot mess. I don’t know yet what’s going to happen ultimately, what the lesson will be, but I’m sure there are a bunch of possible ones.
Spike, Spike, this is starting to get creepy. And Twi’s reaction is totally my reaction. Ugh.
Is Photo Finish from Eastern Europe? Apparently Photo Finish wants to take the gloomiest fashion pony photos that have ever been?
Why do all of Rarity’s designs look like Vegas show costumes?
…Photo Finish wants to make Fluttershy into Ponyville’s Next Top Model? What what where and why does she look like a crazed tree sprite right now?
Make the magicks. Okay, Photo Finish. Okay.
Rarity? Why are you an old movie star from the olden days and why are you wearing a terrible cape thing?
Flutter, you looks so so uncomfortable in this situation. And Photo Finish, you should know better than to send a novice onto the runway without giving her a chance to practice. She’s doing okay, but still. Principle of the thing.
Rarity, you’re cranky. I mean, you have a right to be cranky, but at the same time, Flutter’s a model, you’re a designer. They’re related, but they’re not like objects.
And even the pony paparazzi sucks.
Flutter doesn’t really dig this, does she? She seems pretty gloomy.
She actually looks really gloomy in every single photograph she’s got hanging up at the gallery.
Flutter has the single cutest scream in the world. And yeah, she totally hates this, but she does it because Rarity told her to, and she’s the kind of pony to do things because she’s trying to make her friends happy. She should really learn how to not do that so much.
Pinkie has the silliest logic ever.
And why is Flutter modeling the same outfit she modeled in the first show?
The crowds in Ponyville are always kind of shallow, aren’t they? Though Twi, I think we get the point.
Why are there high fashion ponies in 1700s gear? Like the 1700s extras in Repo?
And now Rarity has made it all better. Because being friends is more important? But Flutter should still just talk to Rarity and stop doing what makes her so miserable. Come on, heart to heart confession, come on. Be honest. Hey ponies! Lesson: honesty is the most important! Hey, thank you!
–your fangirl heroine.