Fashion Friday :: as if I could resist styling my forever vampire girls.

Namely, Nora (Lucy Griffiths) my recent forever girl and Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) my longer-time forever girl.  Both of whom have great clothes.  And I’m an overachiever, so I’m doing two outfits each.  (I wanted to do Pam and Tara’s [Rutina Wesley] crazy leather corset/Asian cutout minidresses too, since those were the most glorious outfits, but despite the fact that I actually have a black and red satin dress that could probably pass for Tara’s at a glance IRL, it’s quite difficult to find ones that don’t look cheesy online.)

Pam first, because this one requires a lot more hunting down.  Also I loved every single outfit she wore, no matter how ridiculous.

Yeah, okay, it’s not perfect.  But you know how hard it is to find specific corsets quickly?  Pretty hard, and anyway I like this one well enough.  Burlesque Halter Underbust Corset, Daisy Corsets.

I think there actually is a lining on the proper top, to cover boobies, so this suits.  It just needs lace shoulders, really.  Black Victoriana Lace Top, River Island.

A leather skirt by H&M.

Leather gloves by MSGM.  That are more expensive than the rest of this fake outfit combined, but shush.

Okay, I don’t actually remember what her shoes looked like.  But I’m sure she’d approve of these.  Not Rated by Happy Beat.

And quick, outfit two.

This is actually the proper jacket in question.  It’s by Wasteland.  There’s a tamer alternative at Debenhams, here, but that’s not the point of my doing this.

Similarly to the above, I don’t entirely remember what she was wearing with that fabulous jacket, but leather pants will do in a pinch.  These are vegan leather and by Dex.

I don’t even know.  I just think it seems like a good idea.  That and Pam would probably find Chastity-2 Booties amusing in a vaguely ironic way.  Oh, and they’re C-Label.

And now onto my Nora.

Since the dress is from the crazy period, she wasn’t wearing shoes or anything with it, so really this is just to celebrate the coincidence of me finding this dress.

I include the back shot too because the back of Nora’s dress is also cut out to pieces.  (Craycray Nora didn’t wear shoes, and she was craycray, but she had a couple of ridiculous cutout dresses that were lovely.)  I realize that this dress is not a perfect replica.  The front is different, there are ruffles, it’s a little pinker.  But that I found a long pinkish purple short-sleeved cutout dress at all is magical.  Thistle Impress Dress, ModCloth.

And then.  Since the red in the picture is blood I think, a black leather jacket, this one by H&M.

Oh look, a plain black tank top.  It’s by Old Navy, but they sell them everywhere basically.

Ass-kicking Nora really was just wearing plain ol’ blue jeans.  Bold Stand-By Jeans, ModCloth.

Straightforward badass black boots.  Kari Boot, Mossimo at Target.

And finally, the HBO shop is actually selling replicas of Nora’s Authority/sanguinista power necklace.  Reasonably priced, even.

–your fangirl heroine.

Things in Print Thursday :: book vs. show, round two

Last year, I did this on Friday, but for sartorial reasons, I’m doing it tonight instead.  (It works either way, so.)  Considering how few similarities there are between the fifth season and the fifth book, this is actually sort of hilarious.  All quotes from the Dead as a Doornail Wikipedia page.

• “It’s the first full moon since Jason was bitten by the werepanther Felton Norris (in Dead to the World).”
  or
  Yeah, nope.  Jason had his first full moon last season, Jason (Ryan Kwanten) is not a panther, the panthers are totally irrelevant  and Jason’s busy having guilty feelings about sexing Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll).
  Verdict: I still kind of wish they had panthered Jason, but they didn’t, so he’s doing other things.  And occasionally I finally find him mildly endearing, in the patronizing way you find small children endearing.
• “Then Sam is shot in the leg and is therefore unable to run the bar…  Sookie learns that other shifters and were-animals are being shot throughout Louisiana.”
  or
  Sam (Sam Trammell) and Luna (Janina Gavankar) are both shot; it’s very dramatic.  He gets better pretty quickly, and Luna as well, but he doesn’t run the bar for a while because they’re on a mission to find the assholes who shot them and then the assholes who kidnapped Luna’s daughter.  It’s pretty much news that shifters and weres (and vampires and everything elses) are being hunted by a gang of d-bags.
  Verdict: Yeah, considering my recent discovery that I adore Luna and all of her flawed rashness and fighting, I’m good with the way this all went down.  I kind of prefer it actually.
• “Colonel Flood, leader of the Long Tooth pack of Shreveport, is hit by a car and dies, so the pack needs a new leader. Alcide’s father throws his hat into the ring, and Alcide manipulates Sookie into helping his father by reading the minds of others in the pack.”
  or
  Alcide (Joe Manganiello) killed the old packmaster last season, but then ran away from the pack; only when he decides that the current packmaster should not be doping everyone on V does he personally decide to throw his hat into the packmaster ring.  And though he and Sookie (Anna Paquin) interact at the season’s beginning, she has no relation to this business at all.
  Verdict: Packmaster Alcide makes those assertive declaration speeches that I have a thing about, so I’m better with it.
• “Someone tries to burn down Sookie’s house, but she is saved by her fairy godmother, Claudine.”
  or
  Yeah, Claudine (Lara Pulver) is dead.  Sookie makes friends with plenty of other fairies, but not because of her house burning down.  The stuff-burning-down plots of the season don’t really even involve Sookie at all.
  Verdict: They’re getting to fairy plots much earlier than they do in the books, so okay, they reorganized.  Got it. I’m not complaining.
• “Sookie is then shot while leaving the library, presumably because she associates with shifters… Later, Sookie is in an alley with Sam (in his dog form) trying to find the killer, when Sweetie Des Arts, Merlotte’s cook, comes at her with a gun. Sweetie explains that she was bitten by a werewolf, and has become part shifter. As an act of revenge, she now kills any shifter she comes in contact with… and Sweetie is shot and killed by Andy Bellefleur, when he arrives on the scene.”
  or
  Library?  What library?  Nobody here goes to the library.  (They really should, though.)  Sookie is trying to hunt down the truth about who killed her parents and talking to retired sheriff Bud (William Sanderson) when she is found by Sweetie (Jennifer Hasty), who’s apparently boinking Bud.  She has no relation to Merlotte’s at all, and is talking big talk about keeping America human but is really seeking revenge because her husband left her for a shifter instead.  And while Andy (Chris Bauer) was involved in the capture of Sweetie’s anti-supe gang, there was not shooting and killing.
  Verdict: “lol my man left me I’mma kill some things” is kind of lame, and I acknowledge that, but otherwise the way the situation is presented in the show is probably more interesting.
• Something about someone named Hot Rain.  Irrelevant.
• “Tara Thorton has been dumped by vampire Franklin Mott, whom she dated in Club Dead, and is now under the thumb of one of Franklin’s associates, the vampire Mickey. It turns out that Franklin Mott gave her to Mickey as part of a debt payment. It was once common for vampires to trade around their groupies, draining them to death when they grew bored.”
  or
  At the end of season four, Tara (Rutina Wesley) was shot in the head and has now been turned into a vampire by Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten).  Franklin (James Frain) has been dead for ages.  There’s none of this groupie passing gō se.
  Verdict: Oh my gosh, so preferred.  As I have said and will keep saying, damn I love vampire Tara.  I think that was a really interesting decision on the writers’ parts and “interracial lesbian vampire couple” is a way nicer phrase than “it was once common for vampires to trade around their groupies.”
• “Sookie appeals to Eric, who arranges to have Mickey free Tara. Mickey becomes enraged, attacks Tara, wounds Eric, and tries to kill Sookie. In exchange for his help, Sookie must tell Eric what happened during the days he cannot remember (in Dead to the World). Sookie tells him about their passionate sexual relationship, as well as how she killed Debbie Pelt.”
  or
  Who the hell is Mickey anyway?  Tara does some attacking herself, of completely different characters, but.  Eric and Sookie don’t even talk for most of the season, and he already knew about the passionate sexual relationship, though Debbie was dealt with and closed-booked early in the season.
  Verdict: Oh my gosh, so preferred.  See above.
• “The competition for wolfpack leader takes place and there are different rounds to test the werewolves’ strength.”
  or
  Nope.  There’s one round of fighting, Alcide loses because the other guy is on V.
  Verdict: Wow, yeah.
• “…after he is declared victor, kills Alcide’s father regardless.”
  or
  Alcide’s father is a disgraced packmaster who has no relation to this battle.  And Alcide is abjured after losing.
  Verdict: Again, okay.
• ^“It is at this event that Sookie makes her first acquaintance with the were tiger, John Quinn.”
  or
  John Quinn, the gorram boring weretiger, is never introduced…
  Verdict: …and there is much rejoicing.
• Characters present: Sookie, Eric, Bill, Tara, Mickey, Alcide, Jason, Andy, Sweetie, Sam, Claudine, Hot Rain, probably some others who aren’t mentioned in the Wikipedia synopsis (like I’m sure Pam is there but)
  or
  Characters present: Sookie, Eric, Bill, Tara, Pam, Jessica, Lafayette, Alcide, Jason, Hoyt, Andy, Sweetie, Holly, Arlene, Terry, Sam, Luna, Emma, Steve, Russell, Nora, Salome, Rosalyn, some others.
  Verdict: …yes, well.  Nora.  Also Jessica, Lafayette, well-written Tara, plot-relevant Pam, crazy Russell, evil Bill.  This is no contest.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whedon Wednesday :: so I have a little bit of a vampire family couple thing.

So this is the week of True Blood, and that means it’s… kind of the week of Nora Gainesborough (Lucy Griffiths).  (As I’ve before said, I am in love, and love makes you do the wacky.  So roll with it.  Or, y’know, come back later if you’d rather.  I’m not taking attendance.)

If you’ll remember, last year I was talking about a bunch of little things that made me think Buffy thoughts.  There were fewer of those this year, but I fully acknowledge that some of my inherent weakness for Eric/Nora – not necessarily for Nora herself, because there are a thousand other reasons I’ve listed previously why that happened – is because of my feelings about Spike/Dru.  So tonight?  I present to you a discussion of how things that are so theoretically the same in ways can have drastically different results.  With all the spoilers.

First off, aesthetics, namely the blond male/brown-haired British woman vampire thing.  (Even though Eric’s [Alexander Skarsgard] really more dirty/dark blond nowadays.)  That’s a surface similarity, yes.  There’s also the vampire relations thing, though Drusilla (Juliet Landau) had been the one to sire Spike (James Marsters), whereas Eric and Nora were both sired by Godric (Allan Hyde).  But Dru and Spike were sexin’ and Eric and Nora are sexin’.  So.

Drusilla is really the only Buffyverse vampire who seems to put a whole lot of stock in the family line thing, whereas it seems much more culturally prevalent in the True Blood ‘verse – in addition to makers and children, there’s the issue of siblings, which isn’t even relevant in the Buffyverse (I suppose you could make assumptions about Wishverse Willow and Xander, but even that’s tentative), and family loyalty seems to be definitely more the rule, whereas the Whirlwind was definitely more the exception.  In both situations, being vampire-related doesn’t seem to stop folks from the aforementioned sexin’, though, so there’s that.

But here’s the real difference in family presentation.  Season two of Buffy was largely dominated by the plot of Angelus (David Boreanaz), made instantly evil by his sex with Buffy, wreaking havoc and eventually deciding to end the world because why not?  Dru, made starry-eyed by her sire, was going along with the plan; Spike, still devoted to his sire, felt that Angelus was driving them apart.  Besides, ending the world is lame.  So once Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) the love of Angel’s undead life is there to fight Angelus, an apocalyptically apathetic Spike knocks an unrepentant Dru out and skedaddles out of there.

Season five of True Blood was largely dominated by the plot of the vampire Authority getting not-good vampire religion and Bill (Stephen Moyer), made slowly evil by his getting of said religion, wreaking havoc and eventually deciding to set in motion the dawn of a new era in the world because the vampire Bible tells him so.  Nora, made starry-eyed by vampire religion, was going along with the plan; Eric, still devoted to his (y’know, dead) sire, felt that vampire religion was driving them apart.  Besides, massacring humans everywhere is lame.  So before anyone else gets dragged into the plan (except dearly departed Molly [Tina Majorino]), a determined Eric knocks an unrepentant Nora out and tries to skedaddle out of there.

Except there were still three more episodes of the season left, so they get caught.  And then Eric and Nora do blood-drugs and Eric pretends to convert to crazy vampire religion.  And then Nora starts thinking about their (y’know, dead) sire and repents hardcore.  And then Eric and Nora fly off into the night, hear that Eric’s progeny is in danger, gather backup forces which includes Sookie (Anna Paquin) the love of Bill’s unlife, and head back into the fray to do some saving and ass-kicking (the latter of which was the plan anyway) their own damn selves.  Oh, and Bill takes all of the blood-drugs and in the last minute explodes into a bloody mess and is resurrected all messy and naked and maybe godlike or maybe just demonic.  That too.

In short: season two of Buffy ends with my delightful vampire couple being driven apart (not to reconcile), season five of True Blood ends with my delightful vampire couple being driven closer together.  Spike and Dru head off by themselves, Eric and Nora join up with the rest of the created family (ugh and I love created families).  And I understand these differences, and I’m not taking sides, but it’s an interesting contrast of arcs: Spike/Dru is the first we know of Spike, and the breakup with Dru eventually facilitates Spike’s feelings for Buffy, whereas Eric/Nora happens once Eric/Sookie has already happened many times.  In 5×14 of Buffy, “Crush,” Drusilla is presented as a direct adversary to the Spike/Buffy relationship, someone that Spike once cared about and now cannot, whereas in 5×12 of True Blood, “Save Yourself,” Nora is presented as someone that Eric cares about and Sookie is presented as someone that Eric also cares about and it’s not a competition.  This could well be to do with the timing of the vampire couples in regards to the overall arc, but.

Despite the fact that Dru sired Spike, Spike does a lot of taking care of Dru in the first part of the season, because she’s infirm.  To be fair, Dru then takes care of Spike when he’s infirm, though not quite as attentively as per Angelus.  The issue of who sired who is only really prevalent in flashbacks, and that’s mostly just Dru prouding on her darling deadly boy ‘cause she likes being a mommy.  Even though vampire mommies and their children can and do still sex.  Spike also takes care of Dru because she’s crazy.  He acknowledges that she’s crazy, more than once and very openly, but he’s fine with it.  He loves her no matter what, at least for those first hundred-some years.

There is never an issue of infirmity regarding the Eric/Nora relationship, but there is one of crazy: crazy Nora is still more clear-headed than crazy Dru, though both of them float around wearing pretty dresses and are totally more evil than they let on.  Eric doesn’t do a whole lot of taking care of crazy Nora, though, and since the crazy is more self-inflicted and behavior-patterny than actual psychological damagey he’s not exactly all “pat, pat, I’ll go along with it.”  Eric always loves Nora, in their weird messed-up siblings/f-buddies that are actually totally kosher to coexist way, but he doesn’t really like her a lot when she’s crazy.  He’s hopeful that she’ll snap out of it, which she eventually does, not because of him exactly but because she just does.

The difference in the presentation of Spike/Dru and Eric/Nora is that the former were presented from their entrance as antagonists, whereas the latter were presented as… morally gray who-knows-whats.  Spike and Dru’s relationship, despite being delightful and still one of my favorites in the canon, was clearly based in wickedness and bad deeds, and bad characters don’t get to stay bad for more than a season in the Buffyverse, not really.  That’s just how it’s structured to work.  So one or the other of them had to turn good, or at least morally gray that led to eventually good, and that one was Spike.  Which is a pretty interesting arc of itself, so.

Eric’s arc started long before Nora was probably even an idea in the writers’ minds; he was morally gray and he’s… slightly less morally gray now, and in his way I think he is a good guy, but he’s not a Good Guy.  I don’t think he would personally sit for that, in all honesty.  Eric and Nora’s relationship was a thing that had been on-off for hundreds of years but was only introduced to us once Eric was already having his moral journey of sorts, and it was clearly based in… well, they were vampire siblings who had been on-off together for hundreds of years.  There is no discussion of them going on merry slaughtering rampages with Godric, though I’m sure at least one merry slaughtering rampage probably took place over time.

Nora herself was presented as morally gray in the extreme from day one, and as evidenced by the fact that she was playing for at least three different teams throughout twelve episodes, this is valid.  Eric played for a couple of teams too, but we and he both knew it was faking; he makes it very clear that the old, pre-evil god Bill was more of a mainstreamer than he would ever be, but at the same time he doesn’t condone the senseless massacring of all humans.  Nora, in her crazy period, did condone that, but late in the game, she undertook a redemption mission of her own alongside Eric.  (Wow, in this way these two are more like Buffy and Faith, and I literally just realized that.  Weird.)

In short, Spike/Dru was a wonderful moment in time that I still love with all my heart.  I adore it.  It is my favorite kind of evilcrazywrongbad love.  Appreciate Spike’s redemption arc as much as I do, evil Spike is still my favorite Spike, and I actually love that Dru was the one that stayed pretty much evil forever.  I never really rooted for them in their overall mission as characters, because ending the world is lame, but I love them together in that moment.  Eric/Nora is a wonderful moment in time that I will choose to believe is going to at least on-off continue, at least unless the hypothetical Eric/Sookie endgame comes to pass.  I appreciate Eric’s overall arc, I appreciate Nora’s smaller arc, I appreciate them.  I would have loved Nora even if she had stayed evil, but I love her redemption too (mostly because I’m pretty sure that evil Nora would have met the true death, and I really, really want her to stay around forever).  And I root for both of them together and separately and just in general.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: well, all of that happened.

That’s the best way I can think of to sum up the True Blood season finale, honestly.

I started watching all of this with my heart in my throat, because I wanted only one thing.  But I got it.  I think.  And I also got at least three other things I didn’t know I wanted necessarily but yeah, I totally wanted.  So.  And, y’know, SPOILERS holy goodness so many spoilers.  (And… yeah, I don’t even apologize for half of this post being on one subject, because I am eyehearting and have been and sorry, it happens.)

• The only thing I wanted and I got: Nora (Lucy Griffiths) to actually make it out alive.  I mean, probably.  I have said it multiple times before and I will say it again: I do not care that she was evil for a little while and crazy for a little while, a character does not have to be a saint to be interesting to me and honestly she is my favorite kind of not a saint.  (I feel like clarifying mostly because I was skipping around the Nora Gainesborough tag on tumblr looking for gifs, and I didn’t do a lot of reading because I’ve mostly learned my lesson from other tags [mostly the Daenerys Targaryen tag] but still.  I allow people to have their opinions, I respect that they do.  But when people are just gif-reacting and/or bitching at my babies, I skip over it.  And when people have to pit two characters against each other to prove who’s better, I skip over it.  Opinions are allowed, I just don’t want to make myself cranky by reading them too much.)  I mean, yes.  Evil and crazy are bad things.  But, well, my crazy British vampire problem.  And my aforementioned thing of sometimes getting attached to characters that are not strictly protagonist material.  Also, we haven’t gotten a lot of it, but you know what?  I like that Nora is snarky as hell sometimes.  I like that there was much banter and that she had to be physically restrained from going after Sookie (Anna Paquin) but then promised all grudgingly and I like that she got to drop lines like “you smell like something I’ve dreamed of.”  She really is Eric’s (Alexander Skarsgard) bratty little sister in some ways (and I sort of like that Nora has an attitude about the rest of Eric’s family to an extent, because it’s not enough attitude to be a problem but it feels reasonable), except for they’re vampire related so I don’t feel weird shipping the hell out of it.  (I mean, I have said before I’m good with Eric/Sookie, but Eric/Nora tugs at my screwed up heartstrings.  Which probably accounts for why I’ve been drawing them all week.)  I want all the flashbacks next season with her, because I am fully comfortable making up stories about her, but I would rather know proper ones so I don’t have to retcon my own headcanon.
• One thing I didn’t know that I wanted but I got: one little throwaway snark line that proves that in addition to having the previously crazy thing and the cute nose/eyes/face thing going and the delightfully morally gray thing and the British thing all going for her, my Nora is also at least a little bit of a vampire techie goddess.  “Do you honestly think you understand the system I helped design better than I do?”  I mean, this could be taken a lot of ways, but the way I take it is this: yeah, Nora hasn’t gotten out a whole lot, ’cause of being with the Authority.  But she also knows how to do a lot of stuff because of that.  She’s apparently always been a political genius, but she’s learned things she needs to know as per her job, and why can’t that include computerized security systems and stuff?  I mean, there are/were vampires like dearly departed Molly (Tina Majorino) to run techie stuff, but at least some of the chancellors would have to be involved too, and Nora strikes me as the kind of girl who gets involved not just in a supervisory capacity.  And there she is messing with the system and looking up at Eric like “don’t even” and yep.  Until told otherwise, I will fully institute the headcanon of my Nora the vampire techie goddess, because, well.
• A second thing I didn’t know I wanted as much as I ended up wanting but I got: Tara (Rutina Wesley) and Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten).  I mean, they’ve sort of thrown hints all season, so it wasn’t a surprise, but I hadn’t consciously been thinking “oh I need this to happen.”  But really, interracial lesbian vampire couples.  That is just such a beautiful phrase.  Their dynamic has evolved logically and reasonably, and despite the circumstances of the turning, I’ve, as mentioned, loved to watch Pam start to actually give a damn about Tara.  Pam never gives a damn about anyone (except for Eric) but, suck though she may at expressing it, it’s totally easy to see she’s been growing to like Tara.  Tara is sarcastic all over Pam all the time, but I think that’s a good thing for Pam: it works, because Pam is more comfortable with sarcasm than with feelings, but then there was the rescuing (god, I love vampire Tara) and the kissing and it was so passionate and legit.  And I’m really, really happy about this being now a thing.
• A third thing I didn’t know I wanted but I got: big bad Bill (Stephen Moyer).  I am honestly shocked it took me until this episode to start consciously thinking Angelus thoughts about this season’s Bill, but it did, and I did, and whoops he’s transcended that even.  Rising from the blood all naked and gross and evil evil.  I kind of love it, actually.  Book!Bill is basically irrelevant by this point, but they’re not going to write him off the show, and since book plots have been thrown out the window, well, this is a viable alternative indeed and  I think this is going to make for an excellent and insane next year.
• Also: aw, Jess (Deborah Ann Woll) all wibbly.  What the hell, craycray haunted Jason (Ryan Kwanten).  Fun while you lasted, craycray Russell (Denis O’Hare).  What in the world is going on, Sam (Sam Trammell) and Luna (Janina Gavankar).  Your assertive declarations of intent made me sort of into you for the first time, Alcide (Joe Manganiello).  As always, I eagerly await next year.

–your fangirl heroine.

Monster Monday :: on religions and vampire canons

So.  Vampire canons and religion.  I’ve touched on some of this stuff before, but I think it’s appropriate to explore it again.

Buffyverse:

• These guys are susceptible to religious objects.  Crosses, bad.  Holy water, bad.  Fairly standard stuff in that regard.
• Those who fight the vampires do not seem to be beholden to any particular religion at all.  Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) wears her cross necklaces, but that’s because they stop vampires.  Willow (Alyson Hannigan) and Tara (Amber Benson) are practicing Wiccans, but save a few prayers, the religious aspects of that are really not touched on at all; Willow is also ancestrally Jewish, but does not often mention it save a few frowny-faced “not everyone celebrates Christmas”-type comments.  Religion is not the why behind anyone’s vampire fighting, they just did it because vampires are often bad and should be stopped.
• Ethan Rayne (Robin Sachs) does practice a religion, or at least a religious worshipping of the deity Janus, as a part of his villainy. But he’s only around for a few random episodes here and there, so we don’t get a lot of detail with it.  And also he’s not a vampire.
• Glory (Clare Kramer) is a hell god, but she’s not a vampire either.  So.
• Flashbacks to the lives of those who are now vampires do include religion: dying Darla (Julie Benz) scorns the efforts of a visiting religious figurehead who really isn’t, Drusilla (Juliet Landau) is targeted by Angelus (David Boreanaz) for her piety and actually seeks to become a nun in order to escape his torment.  Darla retains that snarky faithlessness into her vampire life; Dru completely abandons her faith and replaces it with belief in her sire and their crazy evil fun.
• Also, I should point out the puns and ironies made possible by Angel and Faith (Eliza Dushku) by virtue of their names and contrasting actions.
• The idea of hell is deeply entrenched in the Buffyverse: the town is on a hellmouth, multiple characters visit or spend time in hell dimensions.  Hell is a very real concept, though it doesn’t seem to be technically associated with any one religious tradition.  It simply is: it exists in a dimension alongside ours, it can be reached.
• And the idea of heaven really isn’t discussed until Buffy’s return from the grave in season six, when even she, who has probably been there, can only really say that she was probably there.  There is no explanation for the how or why of heaven and, again, no real association between heaven and a religious tradition.

True Blood:

• These guys aren’t susceptible to religious objects, though they have plenty of other weaknesses so it’s okay.  They actually address that myth in canon, so.
• For the most part, the show’s main characters don’t fight vampires most of the time, they sort of just exist alongside them to varying effects.  Those who are clearly anti-vampire and act on it are people like Rene (Michael Raymond-James) in season one, people like Steve Newlin’s (Michael McMillian) Fellowship of the Sun in season two, people like Marnie (Fiona Shaw) and her witches in season four, people like the gang of anti-all supes who wear the Obama masks this season.  Steve Newlin definitely made it out to be a religious thing, a branch of Christian fundamentalism – I, at least, always took it to be a splinter group that didn’t reflect the beliefs of the entire religion, like how some real churches are more avid about not being all right with some things than other churches – that was devoted to values and to eradicating vampires because they were a slight against nature and God.  And Marnie’s whole thing was she just was really curious about necromancy and then whoops, possessed by the ghost of a lady who was killed by vampires in the Spanish Inquisition or something.  Which also has religious background, but Marnie herself was really more of a practicing Wiccan who just delved too hard into the bad stuff.
• This season’s foray into vampire religion is kind of the flip side to human Steve Newlin’s thing.  It’s religious fundamentalism, and they all say as much: the vampire Bible exists for all vampires, but most of them don’t really take it seriously, and the problem that’s occurring with the members of the Authority is coming from taking it too seriously.  Taking it literally, which is not so much a good idea, all things considered.  Though they do refer to it as the vampire Bible and it is steeped in a lot of the same language as the Christian Bible, the sanguinista movement is really more of a cult than anything; lots of cults are based in extreme interpretations of religious texts, and that just helps me say with certainty that no matter what you do or do not believe, it’s probably not fair to judge an entire group based on the actions of beliefs of the extreme few.  ‘Cause that’s generalizing and sometimes leads to bad.  This is not to say that the extreme few are not doing bad; often, as in the show, they are.  But the cool thing about True Blood is that the “good” characters at least seem a lot of the time to take things on a case-by-case basis, judging a small group or an individual; speciesism is reserved for the bad guys nine times of ten.
• The only of the vampire characters who come from a religiously influenced human background are Tara (Rutina Wesley), who really only has the fact that her crazy mom recently married a pastor going on there, so it’s at most the appearance of religious propriety and nothing more, and Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll).  I’ve mentioned this before: Jess’ family background, her too-religious parents and her abusive dad, her need to rebel leading to what seemed like an out if she looked at it the right way.  There’s not too terribly much to say here that I haven’t said already, but it does color the proceedings interestingly.  Presumably others of the characters had some baseline religion in their human lives, but not so much that it warrants mentioning.
• Despite the prevalence of ghosts hanging out on this mortal plane, the only discussions of heaven or hell that we really get are the terms being dropped in passing or maybe Sookie (Anna Paquin) speculating about her gran.  Good and bad could very well exist in other dimensions, but the only other dimension we ever deal with is the fairy world, which is also not heaven or hell.

Twilight:

• They’re not vulnerable to religious objects.
• Blah blah, I’ve heard speculation that the whole thing is a metaphor for Mormonism.  I don’t know if that’s true, I don’t know enough about Mormonism, so I won’t go into it. But that’s what the whisper is.

–your fangirl heroine.

Sundry Sunday :: 5 ladies with perfectly non-standardly perfect smiles

Which is the best way I can think of to sum up ladies who have cute little gaps in their smiles that some people want to Photoshop out but I totally celebrate because all different things can be lovely.  And all of the ladies on this list feature on television programs I watch.  (Also this is just an excuse to make a list including these ladies.)  This is apparently called a diastema, and whatever, all these women are adorable as well as being massively talented.

5. Elisabeth Moss

Her smile is just so damn infectious anyway, and I think she deserves to be on many lists for many reasons, because I like her face and I like her performances and she just seems like a likable person.

4. Kat Dennings

A quote by her: “When I was younger there was a lot of discouraging talk: lose weight.  Color your hair.  Straighten your teeth.  Get a tan.  But I’m a firm believer in everyone being born with what they need to be attractive.  In all sorts of ways.  And I don’t really feel like I want to change that much by myself.”

3. Miracle Laurie

…this is kind of a list of ladies who are also on other lists and are often mentioned on here and I know that, but I am of the mind that the internet could always use more celebrating differences beauty lady lists that include them.

2. Jessica Paré

Talking about her teeth on the internet seems to be as much of a thing as talking about her musical number, so I’ll just leave it at that.

1. Anna Paquin

My forever darling.  Actually, all of these ladies have infectious smiles.  Even if it’s not the easiest to find pictures of the smiles, since although some celebrate it, others are like “what no this deviates from the norm we must criticize.”  Which isn’t cool.  Since people can be lovely in all sorts of different ways.

–your fangirl heroine.

Sarcastic Saturday :: dissecting troublesome commercials, part three of howevermany

I am not so much a fan of any Swiffer advertisements; the ones with the anthropomorphized dirt messes are creepy and occasionally gross, some of the other ones are just gross.  Like this one.

(A woman, in all respects commercial-average – white, probably 30s-40s, brown mom hair, mom jeans, a mom button-up top – maneuvers her Swiffer Wet Jet in her freakishly white kitchen.)

Offscreen Female Announcer: With Swiffer Wet Jet, cleaning better doesn’t have to take longer.

Sidebar: I’ve mentioned before how I hate rooms that are all white.  I understand the purpose of it: it’s easier to decorate for filming, probably.  Sometimes it’s intentionally clinical and/or creepy.  But sometimes, as now, it’s just creepy on accident. What it says to me is “this room and the person who has domain over it have no personality of their own.”  Whether that’s a conscious choice on part of the person, because neutrality is inherently agreeable, or a conscious choice on part of the ad’s creative team, because neutrality is inherently malleable, depends on the situation.

Relatively reasonable premise for why a product is useful, though.

Female: (stops cleaning, sounding awed) I’m done!

(A pause; she picks up a mug of coffee that has been left out on the counter – the only careless touch in the kitchen.)

Female: (eyes widening, still awed) I’m going to drink this… on the porch!

(As she says this last part, she literally raises her eyes to the heavens, thankful and reverent.)

This commercial is a great example of the idea in advertising that the wife/mother is the only one in the house who actually does domestic chores.  Which is honestly ridiculous – I personally come from a family where household chores are divided between everyone, according to what pertains most to them and what needs to be done, and I don’t actually consciously know of anyone who doesn’t.

Furthermore, what this ad implies is that the household chores, in this case the cleaning of the kitchen, are so time-consuming that the wife/mother just doesn’t have a chance to breathe and that nothing is more precious to her than the luxury of enjoying a beverage outside.  She is literally so weighed down with domesticity that she is a prisoner in/to her own house.

Male singer: Freedom is just a little more time…

(The woman picks up her coffee mug and steps out the front door of her also exclusively white house.  There’s greenery, there is literally a picket fence, but the house itself is completely devoid of color.  Oh, there are yellow pillows on the chairs.

She goes to the table surrounded by the two chairs, and guess who’s there?  Her son, her adolescent brown-haired son wearing jeans and a yellow-and-navy rugby shirt.  He’s not even doing homework or anything to all appearances, he’s just sitting there.)

This is a pretty clear gendering of household chores right there.  It is the mother’s duty to clean the kitchen, while her son, by virtue of his youth and his gender, has the duty of sitting on the front porch doing nothing.

(We go back to a split-screen of the kitchen: on one side, the woman, wearing a gray shirt, uses a mop to clean, while on the other, we again see the purple-shirted woman using her Wet Jet.)

Female Announcer: Mops can be a hassle, but Swiffer spray cleaner and absorbing pads can clean better in half the time, so you don’t miss a thing.

It’s good to be efficient about things, there is no doubt about that.  But just once, just once I would like to see an ad for cleaning products featuring a male who’s cleaning.  A son helping his mom, because it could be done in a quarter of the time of mother and son were both using Swiffer products, and that helps you not miss a thing too!  Etcetera.

–your fangirl heroine.

Fashion Friday :: hipstermodernity for one who cares not about such things

Because if it was possible to care in negative amounts about clothing, that would probably apply to dear Arya (Maisie Williams).  But by that same token, that’s why she makes for great hipstermodernity.  That, and my completism thing.  The androgynous, ass-kicking newsie look is one that it’s easy for me to imagine.

When all else fails, use cardigans.  This is my personal philosophy.  Charter School Cardigan in Charcoal, ModCloth.

Because this is about the simplest blouse around, and I like to imagine that if anyone gave Arya crap about the lace on the collar, she’d either blame Sansa, say it was ironic, or blame Sansa and then say it was ironic.  French Bakery Top, ModCloth.

Well, these are delightfully knickersy.  Not pants that everyone could pull off, but I believe in slightly grown up hipster Arya’s ability to do it.  Design of the Times Pants, ModCloth.

And of course, ass-kicking boots.  Portland That I Love Boots, ModCloth.

–your fangirl heroine.

Things in Print Thursday :: childhood literary heroines and romance

Or, why does basically every female childhood literary heroine have to fall in love with someone?

Not everyone does this.  For example, I don’t remember any even silly childhood sweethearts in the American Girl books.  Not every member of the Baby-sitters’ Club dated.  But three of my favorite book series from childhood, the Little Women books and the Anne of Green Gables books and the Betsy-Tacy books, were surprisingly romance-heavy, and now I can’t help but wonder why.

Little Women at least wasn’t perfect.  A lot of people probably childhood-shipped Jo and Laurie, but Laurie ended up for reasons unknown with Amy and Jo ended up with… an older German man.  To this day, I don’t understand that, but I allow that romance is weird and theoretically can bridge gaps, so I guess if that’s what Jo wanted.  I get that it was the olden days when it was written, and it was especially normal to get married in the olden days, but I just have to wonder: if Louisa May Alcott was writing these books nowadays, in a nowadays setting maybe, would she feel compelled to write Jo’s “happy ever after” with romance?  Couldn’t Jo theoretically be happy without, you know, anyone?

Anne of Green Gables, well.  I know a lot of people who childhood-shipped Anne and Gilbert, and whatever.  That was the classic “I pull your pigtails because I like you” scenario, kind of the childhood equivalent of unresolved sexual tension.  Which… okay, to each their own.  I just have to wonder, though: if L. M. Montgomery was writing these books nowadays, in a nowadays setting, would she feel compelled to write Anne’s “happy ever after” with popping out seven kids?  If that’s your choice, that’s your choice, but I’d be curious to see how it would be handled in a time when kids are less of a certainty.

Betsy-Tacy is a tough one, because technically the books were based on Maud Hart Lovelace’s life.  If Maud Hart Lovelace really did get as many dates as her analogue Betsy, then good for her.  But wow, Betsy dated a lot – not that it’s a bad thing, though I remember it bumming me out as a kid because I related to Betsy but didn’t have any concept of romance as related to myself, so I felt left out.  Betsy’s best friend Tacy didn’t date anyone ever, and I loved that (I also related to Tacy) but then in senior year of high school, suddenly she met an older man who worked with Betsy’s dad and… whoops.  He was immediately in love, and she went along with it.  I guess that was based in real life too, but I remember being really sad.  I liked that Tacy didn’t date.  I liked that there was a character whose happiness revolved around personal pursuits and around friendships and stuff.

Basically, the point I’m trying to make is that romance in and of itself is not bad, if that’s what you want go for it, but I also wish and wished even as a kid that I had more heroines to look up to who didn’t have romance and were okay with that.  And really, the same is true of most grown-up books I read also.  It’s strange that there’s this idea that a character is apparently incomplete with a romantic partner, but it’s also something we still need to work on.  Representing all kinds of happiness!

Oh, and I’m not talking about childhood literary heroes as in boys because I never read any books about boys, ever.  (It was impossible for me to connect to any of them, which is still somewhat of a problem for me.)

–your fangirl heroine.

Whimsy Wednesday :: in which Fluttershy has adventures in babysitting and the Cutie Mark Crusaders are secretly Sailor Moon characters.

I have officially become one of those people who actually carries on real life conversations about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.  Shamelessly.

Who is that tiny little unicorn hanging with stressed-out Rarity?  Oh!  She’s Rarity’s sister, and she – she must be one of Applebloom’s cutie markless friends.

I will never get over the fact of Rarity’s kitten Opalescence.  Oh god, and Trottingham.  Trottingham.  I have officially also decided that writing for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic would be a great job.

Oh, here come the other friends.  Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle.  Their names are possibly even more ridiculous than the other ponies’.  Oh, and these guys talk in unison like they’re on Sailor Moon.  D’aww.

Adventures in babysitting with Fluttershy?  And the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ anime eyes.  They are the most anime of the characters in so so many ways.

I love that Flutter’s idea of sleepovers involves tail braiding and coloring and fairytale telling.  And apparently, Rarity won’t be the only one biting off more than she can chew.  Babysitting being different from bunny and cat and whatever-sitting, because these fillies are silly and enthusiastic and mess around with silly things like someone else’s furniture or the dangerous forest.

Holy.  Christ.  They are so enthusiastic.  They are ridiculous and I don’t know if I have a lot of feelings about them as individual ponies, but they are so silly.  Flutter is trying so hard.

Why do carpenters wear stethoscopes?  Little Cutie Mark Crusaders, a carpenter is not a wood doctor.  And why did Flutter have three stethoscopes just laying around her cottage?

Who wants a picture of a hammer on their flank?  I can think of a couple of people.  Neither of whom are ponies, but still, if they were.  Well.

You’re playing the quiet game.  You’re the world champion of the quiet game.  Oh, Flutter.  I love you so.

Fluttershy is in Hufflepuff.  Fluttershy is the reason why Hufflepuffs can be totally awesome.

Oh, little crusaders.  You’re not going to find your special thing when you’re trying.  It’ll just appear.

What Sweetie Belle.  Are you a rock star?  Your cutie mark could be a music note or something! I think that’s a viable solution.  As opposed to the Cutie Mark Crusader Chicken Hunters or whatever.  That’s a ridiculous solution.  Why does every special talent have to be alliterative with Cutie Mark Crusaders?

Fluttershy is strong like an Amazon.  Again.  Still.  Always.

And I’m still curious as to why the Apple family all have Southern accents, and why Sweetie Belle’s accent does not match her sister’s at all.

Oh my god, sleepy ponies are the cutest things in the world.  Also Flutter is the cutest thing in the world.

Elizabeak?  WHAT IN THE GORRAM HELL/this is why writing for this show would be fun.  It’s ridiculous.  It’s why writing Lifetime movies would be kind of fun: it requires a whole other headspace, or anyway it seems like it would.

I bet they’re gonna run into Twi in the forest.  And/or their zebra friend.  Why is Twi a stone?  Or maybe their zebra friend made a stone sculpture of Twi?

And where do these people invent their crazy forest critters?  Do they just put the names of animals in a hat and draw two of them out or something?

Oh Flutter.  You are the best.  I love your assertive voice so much.  Your assertive voice and your staring and your greatness.

I really want to know how old the crusaders are supposed to be, in people-analogue years.  Sometimes they seem eleven-thirteen, sometimes they seem eight or something.  Also I want to know how old the rest of the ponies are meant to be.

Oh, another crusaders episode.  O-okay.  I’m less invested in them, but I guess this is how you get more invested in someone, giving them more screen time.  (Sometimes.)

Aw, AJ built them a tree house.  Or is giving them one that was already built.  Even if it’s falling apart.  Good intentions or something?  At least there’s that.  AJ usually has those, unless she’s being rivalrysome with Rainbow.

Scootaloo, what are you doing and why do you have a scooter.  You’re a Pegasus pony.  Oh, and Applebloom fixed the clubhouse!  Aw.  And Sweetie is… writing a song and cleaning things with her tail?  I like that not all of the fillies can sing.

Oh my god little cartoon pigs.  Oh my god little cartoon pigs.

These guys are nothing if not persistent.  But I’m glad they’re doing a persistence montage.  Is Applebloom trying to discover that her talent is for prescience?  I mean, that would be cool, but nope.

Who’s that pony?  That other purple one?  I don’t think we’ve met her.  Was she the teacher pony before or is she a different teacher pony?  I don’t remember. Or is she a teacher at all?  Is she just a helpful friend pony?

Hoof high-fives.  Are the greatest.

I vote that they conjure ghosts.  They won’t conjure ghosts.  This is going to be a lesson about how they should do what they’re already good at and not just what they think they should be good at or think is cool.  They should be themselves and embrace their own gifts.  Or something.

–your fangirl heroine.