In the spring, it was announced that they were going to be making Chelsea Cain’s Heartsick series into a television series on FX. Home of Justified and Sons of Anarchy and American Horror Story and other such good things that I trust. I, of course, went YES YAY. I’ve been a fan of Chelsea Cain since she wrote that Nancy Drew parody, Confessions of a Teen Sleuth, and I saw her read part of it out loud up at Wordstock and briefly met her. She’s awesome. And I love the Heartsick series for a lot of reasons. I’ve skimmed around a few online articles announcing the series, and most of them have fairly decent commentary; nothing insightful, which is valid, since the adaptation hasn’t been aired yet, but nothing like zombies, really.
I’ve also been searching for casting notices. And… nothing has been announced yet. Nothing at all. Which is a bummer: I love theoretically casting, but it’s hard with television. So many of my favorite television performers are people I wouldn’t have heard of in the slightest before the show they’re on, and yet they’re perfect. And there’s always the issue of some actors being film actors and some being television actors and some but not all crossing over, too.
I did find one theoretical casting poll from 2008. Presumably they were aiming for it to be a film, but it’s the closest I can get and therefore I’m analyzing the bejesus out of it.
They suggested Matthew Fox or Dermot Mulroney for Archie Sheridan. No and no. I don’t know any of Matthew Fox’s work, and I really only know Dermot Mulroney from his stints on New Girl and Friends, i.e., also I just can’t see it. I don’t know who’s right, but not them.
They suggested Charlize Theron or Uma Therman for Gretchen Lowell. I love Uma Thurman, but I can’t really see her as Gretchen. I actually really love the Charlize Theron idea, I mean, Gretchen is seductive craycray queen levels of evil and I’d be into it. But somehow I don’t think that’s even remotely going to happen.
They suggested Zooey Deschanel or Christina Ricci for Susan Ward. I love Zooey Deschanel, but I can’t see her as Susan at all, and also she has her own television show already and I think it’s really sweet and good okay. Christina Ricci is late of Pan Am, which was outstandingly disappointing by the end (so many stylish clothes, such terrible confusing plots and character development that went to crap), and I can’t see her as Susan either. I don’t know who I could see as Susan. I’m just sitting here going through my lists of television actresses, and there’s the currently employed ones and I just. I don’t know. I really like Susan, so I’m going to be really opinionated about this casting, but I have no idea.
The only other of their theoretical casting choices I have any feelings about would be Eric Balfour as Ian Harper, which just, no for so many reasons, and Carla Gugino or Courteney Cox as Debbie Sheridan. Courteney Cox has her own television program nowadays, and also I can’t see it; actually, I’d be open to Carla Gugino as Gretchen or Debbie. Why not, I like her and she’s talented.
–your fangirl heroine.