This will be brief. A lot of my thoughts about this movie are ones I have about any movie of its sort, in this franchise or the others like it, and will be summed up at a date in the near future.
The thing is, I just… I understand why this movie is good at being what it is, and it’s exactly what you think it’s going to be, but even the “twists” seem predictable to me, and I don’t care. I don’t care about the characters or the story; I don’t care about the stunts or the locations. So, here are some thoughts I had while viewing this:
- Oh, Simon Pegg. I don’t really feel emotionally invested in your character, but you’re still my favorite. The nervously babbling, vaguely snarky, British tech guy. Check boxes across the board for my adoration.
- I kept an unofficial tally, though I didn’t start from the beginning, so it might be off, but I was curious: how many times throughout the film would it have been theoretically possible for Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) to die? I’m sure my tally of 18 is still low.
- At least 5 of those were in the scene in the car park structure.
- It would have been cool if Lea Seydoux actually got a real part that lasted for more than a couple of scenes. I have no idea what her talents are, because I haven’t seen any of her French films, but she’s cute, and she keeps appearing in movies I watch for a few minutes, so I want more from her, dammit.
- It also would have been cool if there were more women than the Token Sexy Assassin In A Couple Of Scenes and the Token Nonwhite Agent Lady. (Have you ever noticed that? That in movies like this, they often fill both of the token main character roles in one go? I mean, Paula Patton was very satisfactory as a performer, but I just think that’s weird, a little.)
- Tom Cruise sure does run funny.
- That big explosion at the Kremlin could rival Ringer‘s famous first episode boat scene for special effects.
- Lord, the going-to-other-countries music felt like it came out of House Hunters International, it was so obvious.
- The whole “he and his wife split up” -> “his wife is dead” -> “actually my wife is alive” progression was unnecessary. I mean, I knew when I saw the ads that Michelle Monaghan wasn’t going to be present, and I was sad, because I actually like her somewhat, even if her role in MI3 was that of the Token Useless Damsel. I’d figured on her being dead (the wives never get to stay alive for more than one film in these franchises) and so that didn’t disappoint me, but tacking on that LOLJK she was still alive at the very end just seemed silly.
- I went off on at least four different mental tangents during the middle of this movie, but the last of them kept me thoroughly, happily occupied for most of the rest of the movie. That tangent began with the revelation that many, many fictional mediums that otherwise don’t interest me could be improved by the leads being played by Enver Gjokaj, Dichen Lachman, and Fran Kranz. If they made a secret agent movie, I would be so into that. Because their theoretical secret agent movie would be so much more interesting. The script would be better, they’re more charismatic as performers, they’re funnier, they’re all (shallowly, I know) prettier, etcetera etcetera. Also, they’re brilliant together.
- Oh yeah. And, even though I saw it last weekend at Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, HOLY DEAR GOD AVENGERS TRAILER DO WANT DO WANT NOW. (I will admit to squealing like a little girl at that 2 seconds of Enver in it, too.)
–your fangirl heroine.