By “we,” I mean some friends and I, over dinner one night; by “no shame,” I mean that since we heard really, really briefly about the fact that they’re apparently making a Twilight musical, we started speculating about what would happen if they made a Hunger Games musical. I say that the world has no shame because this… is a terrifyingly real possibility, even if, after our discussions, we realized that it would be near-impossible to do at all well. Now, this discussion was largely about staging issues: how techie the stage would have to be in order to do any of it and not include people in, for example, wolf suits, how you’d set up a stage version of the Cornucopia, etcetera. We discussed absolutely nothing about how the show would actually be written. We never figured out what the music would sound like.
We did cast some of the characters, though! And stage casting means stage actors, so. Because I promised I would, here’s the very theoretical casting. You’re allowed to giggle, because it was a ridiculous, cracked-out conversation about a ridiculous, cracked-out idea. And it’s only off the first book, since that one’s the best. So yeah.
As Katniss, we have Next to Normal (and Spider-Man, sigh) alum Jennifer Damiano. We were hesitant about casting… most of the not-adult characters, really, but we were trying. Because once we start discussing things like this, it has to become a completed list.
As Peeta, we have Jenn’s fellow Spring alum Jonathan B. Wright.
We never officially decided on a Gale, but both Jeremy Jordan, late of Rock of Ages, and Adam Kantor, late of the closing cast of Rent, were mentioned as possibilities.
Gavin Creel, known for Thoroughly Modern Millie and the Hair revival, was a late-in-the-game choice for Cinna.
The inimitable Norbert Leo Butz, of whom my favorite work is still The Last 5 Years but who is perfect always, would be our Haymitch.
Kristin Chenoweth, who has been in everything ever, would be playing Effie. Of course.
And to round it out, the cast of Glee would be allowed to play the various easily murdered Tributes.
(We couldn’t think of any twelve year old girls, and all of our casting for the other adults was very vague, so I won’t recount it.)
…again I say, my friends and I know how to spend time excellently.
–your fangirl heroine.