Television Tuesday :: the Mad women and feminism

Specifically, this is elaborating on thoughts found in an essay in the book Mad Men and Philosophy, edited by Rob Carveth and James B. South.  The essay is “Mad Women: Aristotle, Second-Wave Feminism, and the Women of Mad Men,” by Ashley Jihee Barkman.  It’s a very well-written essay, and very correct in many places.  I couldn’t help but thinking, though, that the analysis offered in the essay might have altered slightly had the essay been written after season four and not after season three, and so I will expand upon thoughts, with all respect and admiration to Barkman.  I am but a pop culturally analytical college student, so I’m sure I don’t have the same credibility, but bear with me.

The essay begins with a description of the woes that the women face and their reactions: “sexual harassment in the workplace, adulterous husbands, and even nonconsensual sex,” and they’re “shown coping in an era fraught with what Aristotle, in a qualified sense, would deem ‘injustice’”(203).  Fair points.  Barkman disregards Aristotle’s view of women as being “incomplete men” early on, so that’s not an issue.

Her essay also has the three main female characters, Peggy Olson [Elisabeth Moss], Betty Draper [January Jones], and Joan Holloway Harris [Christina Hendricks] are the primary focuses, and this makes sense.  Peggy, she says, “is the lone individual who receives due justice — that is, she is treated as possessing a rational soul — but seeks it out as well”(205).  Betty is less fortunate; “Perhaps her beauty muffles her chance at self-actualization”(211) but at the end of her marriage to Don (Jon Hamm) “the threshold of injustice she can bear has been reached”(212).  Joan, somewhere in the middle of the two experiences, is “an invaluable part of the ad agency”(213) but Barkman describes her as “the least progressive of the three women”(212).

This is a notion I have a problem with.  “She neither initiates like Peggy, nor reacts like Betty, but patiently waits for her due.  Joan is a woman comfortable and content in the values and expectations of those in the pre-second wave world (of feminism),” Barkman writes, also on page 212 of the book.  In the first seasons, this is true.  Joan, despite being college-educated and clearly efficient in the workplace, has been raised to believe that a woman’s worth is in her looks, and she doesn’t see much reason to question that.  She knows that that’s how the world of the office is and there’s nothing she can do to change it, so she may as well accept it and make the most of it.

But by season four, there’s a bit of a shift.  She came onto the new agency, Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, from the ground up, helping organize and initiate the move and facilitate the new organization, and she’s proved herself even more “invaluable” in the new workplace.  Despite having not been working after her marriage to Greg Harris (Sam Page), Roger Sterling (John Slattery) knew that they couldn’t make the transition without her.  And though it’s not really said explicitly, Joanie is happier when she’s working.  She seemed restless in the life of a housewife (the dinner party in 3xo3, “My Old Kentucky Home,” has forever won the award for Most Heartbreaking Accordion Performance in my heart) and having purpose is something that helps, especially as Greg transitions to the position of a military doctor and is there for her less.

But there’s this telling conversation between Peggy and Joan in the last episode of season four, “Tomorrowland,” and I will actually copy the entire thing out because I think it’s just that important.

Joan: Whatever could be on your mind?
Peggy: Can you believe it?
Joan: Happens all the time.  They’re all just between marriages, you know that.  He’ll probably make her a copywriter.  He’s not gonna wanna be married to his secretary.
Peggy: Really?  Is that what he meant?  “She admires you.”  Jesus.
Joan: That’s the way it works for some.
Peggy: You know, I just saved this company.  I signed the first new business since Lucky Strike left.  But it’s not as important as getting married.  Again.
Joan: Well, I was just made Director of Agency Operations.  A title, no money of course.  And if they poured champagne it must have been while I was pushing the mail cart.
Peggy: A pretty face comes along and everything goes out the window.
Joan: Well, I learned a long time ago to not get all my satisfaction from this job.
Peggy: That’s bullshit.
Both women laugh.

Don has just become engaged to his secretary, Megan Calvet (Jessica Paré), and the men in the office seem more focused on this event than either of the actually workplace-related advancements that Peggy and Joan have made.  The other women in the agency come and go with some regularity, but these two have stuck around, and they’re clearly doing important work.  And even Joan’s tired of sitting around just letting it go unnoticed, now.

More importantly, though, I think Barkman’s essay neglects the other women of Mad Men, the supporting supporting characters.  Women like Midge Daniels (Rosemarie Dewitt) and Rachel Menken (Maggie Siff), like Trudy Campbell (Alison Brie), like Helen Bishop (Darby Stanchfield), even like little Sally Draper (Kiernan Shipka).  Each of them have something interesting to say about the female condition, too.

Midge is the first woman-on-the-side of Don’s that we meet, a beatnik intellectual with artistic inclinations and a generally pretentious worldview.  The similarly inclined men she’s seen palling around with serve mainly to point out that even the alleged advanced thinkers of the time are stuck in these silly gender roles.  They criticize Don’s participation in the ad industry, but do nothing of substance themselves; the men still treat the women like objects, and the women allow it.

Rachel is another story.  Having grown up in her father’s department store, she’s determined to revitalize it.  She’s an independent woman, and she doesn’t see why her interest in business should counteract her femininity: “If I weren’t a woman I wouldn’t have to choose between putting on an apron and the thrill of making my father’s store what I always thought it should be.”  (1×01, “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.”)  She rebuffs Don’s advances repeatedly, observing that such a relationship would be unwise, and when she does finally act on her interest, she does so on her own terms.  When he begs her to go away with him, she refuses, still convinced it’s the wrong decision.  She’s going to do what she feels is right, and she’s not going to let anyone walk all over her.

Trudy is the picture of domestic bliss on the outside.  Pete’s (Vincent Kartheiser) wife, her family brings him business ties and she makes him respectable.  She keeps a neat house (well, apartment) and she’s always smiling and loving.  They argue, yes, and the dramatics that come from their struggle to have a baby are a point of contention for quite a while, but that’s about all there is to it.  Pete cheats a couple of times; not much comes of it.  Trudy loves him and supports him no matter what.  She’s happy just being his wife, but on Trudy it doesn’t seem like giving in.  It’s truly the life she’d wanted, and while she’s bright enough to have more, probably, she’s content.  And she’s far too good for Pete, too.  She negates the stereotype present in a lot of media that men with wandering eyes or who work late a lot always have harpies for wives (ergo, the cheating/avoiding home/whatever is their fault and not the man’s).

Helen is a neighbor of the Drapers, down the street: she’s important in Betty’s evolution as a character, being the first divorced woman in the neighborhood, and while Betty looks down on her for a while (all of the neighbor women do) she softens, becoming momentarily friendly.  Of course, that doesn’t end well, as Helen’s son Glen (Martin Holden Weiner) is a creeper and Betty gives into it, but Helen is the first picture of a completely independent (save child support and such) woman, the first openly liberal female character on the show; she paves the way, I think, for Betty’s eventual decision to divorce Don.  (I’m sure Betty decided that she’d be careful to remain proper even after divorcing, remarrying almost immediately; none of that going around for recreational walks wearing pants and volunteering and holding a job for her, oh no.)

Sally is honestly becoming one of my favorite characters on the show.  She started out just a little girl, window-dressing in Don’s suburban life, but as she’s growing up she’s rebelling a bit more against her mother.  Betty’s concerned over her beauty, her weight (which is ridiculous; she’s got a rounder face, like a lot of children do, but she’s not pudgy), her behavior.  Things like intellect hardly factor in.  Sally’s just trying to grow and to discover herself (sometimes literally and sometimes through actions like cutting her own hair, both seen in 4×05, “The Chrysanthemum and the Sword”).  She’s not interested in Betty’s ideals.  She wants to be her own person.

I’m interested to see how season five (oh, god, next year) contributes to these portraits.

–your fangirl heroine.

Magnificent Photoshopping Monday :: aimless summer days look like this on my face.

I wake up.  If I don’t sleep in I’m like

and if I do I’m like

but then I realize how late it is and I feel bad because I did intend to wake up earlier and I’m like

Then I spend time doing useful things.  Like studying or housework.  And usually I’m like this

I’m a pretty boring person, yes.

If I’m listening to talking radio or watching TV or something, I can be anywhere in this range:

Spending time with my kitties!  Of course, it’s like

Getting on the internet and tumblin’ or something can get me anywhere in this range:

Time for exercise!  Well, obviously it’s like

even if usually I’m there by myself.

I’m doing productive things like writing or fanmixing or typing or art-ing and I’m like

Watching television or movies with my folks, it’s usually either

for the reality shows my dad likes, or it’s like

if it’s something I care about.

Then it’s time to blog!  That means I’m like

–your fangirl heroine.

Spoiler Alert Sunday :: my thoughts on Our Idiot Brother

It’s a cast I love, first off.  Even when Paul Rudd’s being goofy I appreciate him.  As I’m sure you know, I do have an epic girlcrush on Zooey Deschanel.  Elizabeth Banks is funny, Emily Mortimer is appreciated, Rashida Jones is adorable, Steve Coogan is riotous, Adam Scott is amusing, etcetera, etcetera.  And as far as comedies go, I was amused and not too angry and I actually giggled.

But this is not because I liked any of the characters.  I wanted to hit almost every single one of them at least once.  Actually, much like with The Social Network, Rashida Jones was the only one I never wanted to smack.  I’m not sure if they were intentionally despicable or if it was just sort of lazy characterization, but really?  The movie could have been called Our Idiot Family.

I do appreciate when nobody’s perfect.  Perfection is nice (unattainable, but hey) in real life, but it’s overrated in entertainment… no, take that back.  It’s just overrated.  I just started feeling partway into the film that the writers just sat down and went “funny cliches = funny jokes!”  The titular idiot brother, Rudd’s Ned, was actually pretty well-developed.  He was an idiot, yeah.  But he wasn’t mean-spirited.  He just had absolutely no filter and it kept getting him into trouble.  He was gullible, he was sort of doped out, but he wasn’t a lame stoner entirely.  Appreciated.

Everyone else sort of devolved into cliches, though.  Sister 1, Banks’ Miranda, was the Ballsy Professional Chick.  She took her neighbor (Adam Scott) for granted, she worked too much, and she was willing to do Whatever It Took to advance in the world of business (in this case, a job at Vanity Fair, where the editor was portrayed as a similar asshole, not caring about the integrity or legal-backed wishes of the article’s subject but only wanting the Juicy Story — lame).  When Ned accidentally told Miranda things about what said subject had told him in private conversation and Miranda attempted to use it in her story, everyone was on edge.  It was juicy, yeah, but was it right?  No.  And Ned realized this, so he denied it all to the attorneys and fact-checkers and such.  Miranda didn’t lose her job, she just lost a little bit of face; Ned did the right thing.  Even though she was Pissed Off, because that’s just what Ballsy Professional Chicks do when you get in their way.

Sister 2, Deschanel’s Nat, was the Token Quirky Lesbian.  There were a couple of discussions of her sexuality, and Ned questioned the application of the “lesbian” label; the way everyone described it, it really sounded almost like pansexuality, albeit pansexuality that had been swaying towards women as of late.  Nat was a stand-up comedian (a bad one) and a nude model.  Surprise surprise, she ended up having sex with the (male) painter she modeled for.  ‘Cause you just can’t have lesbians in a movie unless one of them goes at least temporarily questioningly straight.  To make matters worse, Nat became pregnant from this one-night stand (well, when you’re screwing in a hurry, you don’t always think about condoms, of course).  This wouldn’t mesh with her being in a serious relationship with adorable, pretty Kinsey 5-6 Cindy (Rashida Jones).  And when Ned found out and attempted to discuss it with Cindy, not knowing Nat hadn’t done the same, it of course caused a dramatic scene.  But being a generous person, Cindy decided to give it another shot, and the final scene showed Nat declaring that Cindy wanted to join her for her OB-GYN appointment.

Sister 3, Emily Mortimer’s Liz, was a pretty standard Pretentious Suburban Mom.  She and her documentarian husband (Steve Coogan) had two children, River and Echo.  (I know.  “That can’t be a coincidence,” my father whispered.  And though River was a boy, I… can hope.  I see nothing in any of the production credits that might indicate there was anyone connected to the Whedon mafia, but they could just be fans.  Or it could be a coincidence.  Who knows.)  They’re the kind of people who won’t let their children watch “violent movies” (apparently The Pink Panther counts) and made River learn to play some obscure ethnic flute thing and go to interpretive dance class so he could interview for a prestigious pretentious kindergarten.  Ned just wanted to let River be a little boy.  He just wanted to make friends, and sure, he maybe should have asked his sister and her husband, first.  But.

Steve Coogan was also busy filming a documentary about a Russian ballerina’s “artistic oppression” and screwing her on the side.  I am all for sexual liberty.  But really.  Is nobody in film faithful anymore?  I feel like at least half of the romantic conflicts in movies (or television) come from adultery in some form, and I’m bored with it.  Yeah, adultery is bad.  Think of something more creative.  Ned was the one to discover this and out it.

Ned made mistakes.  He talked too much.  But it was from a place of love, which the sisters eventually realized.  They got their own lives back on track (it was unclear what that meant in Liz’s case; in Nat’s it meant getting back with Cindy and having the baby anyway; in Miranda’s, it meant seducing her neighbor-friend) and Ned went to go open a handmade candle shop with his ex-girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend and his dog.  There was a meet-cute where he and his dog (named Willie Nelson) met a woman and her dog (named Dolly Parton).  Then it was over.

Basically, the plot of the movie was everyone’s an asshole sometimes, but we can all love each other hopefully.  I didn’t dislike it.  The candle shop dialogue was hilarious.  The movie was funny.  I didn’t hate everyone constantly, but I hated most of them periodically.  Even Zooey’s adorable couldn’t make me always like her.

(And I wanted to throttle the man – I’m not 100% positive, but I think he was wearing a trucker cap – who chuckled loudly at inappropriate times.  The first time Zooey and Rashida kissed, he laughed louder than I think he did the entire rest of the movie.  Not okay, dude.)

It was a good movie, though.  Cute.  Not frustrating except for in the ways it was supposed to be frustrating, and that’s something.  As comedies go, I could deal with it well.  I just wish that maybe there had been a bit more dimension to the characters.  But that’s writer nitpickiness.  The actors were all great.

–your fangirl heroine.

Sundry Saturday :: my urban dictionary: the Kitadel

I know I know.  But I know I’m Spoiler Alert-ing tomorrow, so I like making an even switch.

Def.: like the Citadel, the military academy, but for cats. I give my mother credit for this one, because when she actually makes a pun-related funny, I applaud her.

Usage: My boy cat is “v-shaped,” much like my cousin’s girlfriend once said about his peers at the Citadel, so my parents were joking that said boy cat should attend the Kitadel. 

–your fangirl heroine.

Fictional Friday :: 10 (sometimes groups of) fictional whores!

Or sex workers.  Or Companions.  Or whatever.  If money is given for sexual activities, it’s fair game.  I sort of adore fictional whores, as I often end up being one (explained right down there).  I’m not just saying it as a derogatory slam against promiscuous women.  Go be promiscuous if that’s your thing.  No, this is my compendium of actual paid fictional sex workers, ’cause I’ve already done lady badasses and why not.

10.  Every time I am in the chorus of anything.
Well, okay, two out of three times that I did musicals back in school.  But even in Birdie I was the worldly Bohemian beatnik promiscuous one with boobs.  So it’s close enough.  Back in the day, I was often used for the “chorus whore,” as I fondly came to put it; I was one of the hallucinated dance hall girls in Oklahoma! and the kitchen wench in Once Upon a Mattress.  To this day, I am convinced that I am always put as that because I am often one of the only women in the cast (well, it was junior high and high school) with breasts.

9. The girls of Sucker Punch (Emily Browning as Babydoll, Abbie Cornish as Sweet Pea, Jena Malone as Rocket, Vanessa Hudgens as Blondie, and Jamie Chung as Amber) in the first level of hallucinations
I clarify ’cause in reality, they were all in a mental hospital.  But in one of the alternate universes, they all worked in a swanky brothel that involved rhinestone-y dance numbers.  (A good way to tell which of the girls you “are” is to examine each of their costumes in “Love is the Drug” on the extended disc.  I’m of course Amber, as a French maid.  Incidentally also the only one we see partaking in whoring.)  So they totally count.  And they were damn sexy, too.

8. Lynn Bracken (Kim Basinger, LA Confidential)
A very seemingly classy sex worker, but a sex worker nonetheless.  Lynn was just a girl from Arizona who looked like Veronica Lake and ta-dah!  Pierce Patchett was running her as a lookalike prostitute out of a pretty decent little house of her very own.

7. All of the Dolls (Eliza Dushku as Echo, Dichen Lachman as Sierra, Enver Gjokaj as Victor, Miracle Laurie as November, Amy Acker as Whiskey, etc., Dollhouse)
Dolls do non-sex things.  They hostage negotiate and fangirl and scientifically research and train horses and spy on their neighbors.  But it’s… well, it’s kind of a sex thing a lot.  And with so many different sex things, it’s worthy of note.  I mean, Echo alone goes through the gamut of every fantasy ever, almost.  Victor’s whole engagement as a swain for “Ms. Lonelyhearts” and that messed up business of Sierra and Nolan Kennard and November as Mellie bless her heart.  Well.  It’s definitely not always the good side of sex.  But it’s there nonetheless, and well-written even when it’s messed up.

6. Satine (Nicole Kidman) and the other women of Moulin Rouge
Like the Sucker Punch girls (or, I suppose, they like her) Satine’s a dancing whore.  A singing one, too.  And dammit, all she really wants to do is be an actress.  (Even if the play they put on has her playing a whore.  A courtesan.  So it’s not much of an act.)  She’s the Sparkling Diamond, gorgeous in a corset and doing the ginger thing beautifully.  And the other whores are wackily theme-y, which makes for the fun.  There’s the requisite French maid, there’s actually one the credits list as Babydoll, there’s one dressed like a Les Mis girl, there’s a harlequin, there’s one with a lot of tattoos, there’s one for everyone.  (And their costumes are gorgeous.)

5. Trixie (Paula Malcomson) and the Gem Saloon girls (Deadwood)
The Gem Saloon is the… less classy whorehouse in the town of Deadwood, but they’re real.  They’ve got a whole variety of things, but at the beginning, there’s Trixie.  Trixie’s not gonna take anyone’s crap, and she’s Al’s right-hand girl in a way.  She’s a lady that’s not gonna let anyone walk all over her, and that’s awesome.

4.  Joanie Stubbs (Kim Dickens) and the Bella Union girls (Deadwood)
The Bella Union is the classier whorehouse in Deadwood, and Joanie is a classy dame.  She’s less a whore and more a madam, nowadays, but she’s been with Cy for years, and she’s sort of his right-hand woman at first.  Her own opening-a-whorehouse endeavor doesn’t go so well thanks to some icky betrayal and murder, but she’s strong and epic too.  That’s the important thing, I think, in a fictional whore.  I don’t think any of the fictional whores on this list actually abide by being treated like crap; either they get the hell out or they try to get the hell out or they try to reform the organization or they just kick major ass.  Joanie sort of gets the hell out and sort of tries to reform the organization.

3. Nandi (Melinda Clarke) and her people at the Heart of Gold (Firefly)
Because, remember, she’s got boy whores, too.  Nandi once was a Companion, but she’s made it her mission to head out to the Rim and run a plain old whorehouse in that still-respectful-of-her-workers way.  She’s willing to die for this belief.  And that makes Nandi a badass madam, too.

2. Inara Serra (Morena Baccarin, Firefly)
Inara’s still a Companion, though, and that means she’s somewhere between a courtesan and a geisha.  It’s not just sex, it’s romantic entwining and conversation and art and skill and beauty.  It’s sort of neat.  I mean, it’s not a perfect system.  But getting to choose your own clients definitely makes it slightly less sucky.  And like many of the women on this list, I envy her wardrobe.

1. The Old Town Girls (Rosario Dawson as Gail, Jaime King as Wendy/Goldie, Devon Aoki as Miho, Alexis Bledel as Becky, etc., Sin City)
They top this list because they are the most badass of badass whores.  We don’t see any of them but Goldie really actually whoring, but they’re definitely whores.  They’re unashamed of their sexuality, and they use it as a weapon almost as much as they use actual weapons.  They aren’t gonna let anyone treat them like crap either, and if someone does?  Well, they’re getting very dead.

–your fangirl heroine.

Things in Print Thursday :: sometimes, I get nostalgic for my childhood.

I’ve been thinking lately about getting out my old copy of Little Women.  I don’t know how many times I read it as a child, out loud with my mother (when we’d cry every single time) and to myself.  I loved that book so so so much.

I love the characters.  I loved thinking Meg and Beth were nice and Marmee was a great mom and Amy was a bitch and I loved relating to Jo like all young writergirls are compelled to do.  I remember being a little cranky that Jo was so anti-girl things because I was such a girly little kid, but now I think Jo totally had the right idea.  I’m still into girly things, ruffles and pretties and berry-flavored drinks and stuff, but I am by no means “girly” in the traditional sense.

I love the setting.  I love imagining pretty Civil War times, because I know it wasn’t all pretty, but the clothes, and the balls, and the architecture, well, it’s gorgeous.  I’ve got the pictures the movie gave me, but I elaborate a little in my head.

I love the story.  I love Part I, all whimsy and childhood adventure.  I love reading about them putting on ridiculous melodramas in their attic and writing the Pickwick Paper and going boating and going to balls and Meg learning that peer pressure Isn’t Fun.

I love how emotional I get.  The last time I watched the movie, at least, I didn’t cry but I got very wibbley and sad and it was cathartic.

Why do these books only have to be for children?  This, Anne of Green Gables… other things?  I know my mom enjoyed reading them with me, and she was an adult.  Still is.  Why not read them again?  I… think that I might.  I’ve talked myself into it.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whedon Wednesday :: 10 life lessons you can learn from the fourth season of Buffy

10. If your college roommate sucks, it’s probably because she’s a demon.  (4×01, “The Freshman” – 4×02, “Living Conditions”)
Sure, it may seem like you’re just exaggerating because you don’t like Celine Dion and it’s all she seems to listen to.  You’re having a hard time adjusting to a new environment.  But it’s good to get proof.  Those toenails might be demonically growing on their own once they’re cut off her body, and if you can use that to show that yeah, she is a demon, well, good for you!  (Alternately, if you are a demon, it’s best to make sure that your roommate isn’t the Slayer ahead of time.)

9. Drinks with old buddies known for chaos spells?  Really?  That’s… just twenty kinds of a terrible idea.  (4×12, “A New Man”)
Really, Giles (Anthony Stewart Head) is the smart one.  I understand that he was feeling all sad and left out and grown-up emo, and the best reaction to that is of course to get trashed.  But doing so in the company of Ethan Rayne (Robin Sachs) is an awful plan.  Be careful who you drink with, and don’t leave your drink unattended or attended by the wrong folks.  That will lead to becoming a demon, and not one of the ones that can conveniently switch into a human face.  It’ll be one of the nasty ones.

8. Proclaiming a desire for everything to go perfect will ensure that it won’t go perfect.  Especially on a Hellmouth.  (4×08, “Pangs”)
Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) is all gung ho about having the perfect Thanksgiving!!!  I feel like it needs to have those exclamation marks because of the enthusiasm in her plan.  It’s a pretty decent plan.  Make a nice dinner for your friends, celebrate peacefully and take a day off from the stresses of slayage.  Except for the part where declaring that it needs to be perfect can and will destroy that plan thanks to a supernatural Murphy’s law.  You say “I want a perfect Thanksgiving!!!” and the Hellmouth hears “I want to be attacked spontaneously by vengeful Native American spirits!!!”  Besides, there’s no such thing as perfect.  Don’t tempt fate.

7. Be careful what you absently say after performing a spell to make your will be done.  (4×09, “Something Blue”)
Just because you don’t think it’s working, because it doesn’t seem to be working, doesn’t mean that it’s not working.  Keep your eyes open.  Saying “Amy isn’t a rat” could very well make Amy not a rat.  Saying “Spike and Buffy should get married” could very well make Spike and Buffy want to get married.  Etcetera.  And in poor Willow’s (Alyson Hannigan) case, it also means she attracts unwanted attention from D’Hoffryn (Andy Umberger) the vengeance demon.  And nobody wants to deal with that.

6. Beer is bad.  (4×05, “Beer Bad”)
Why else would I exclusively drink fruity, girly things with low alcohol content and high berry flavor content?  (Except that beer tastes yucky, and I’m a wuss, and wine is also yucky, and.  Well.)  Too much beer can and will turn you into a caveman, and nobody likes primitive humans.  They’re just messy and crude.  Also, beer is not a solution to your problems.  So don’t go drink a bunch of it to get over something.  Because then all you’ll need to get over is your time spent knuckle-dragging.

5. If you’re a vampire, and your psychic girlfriend left you ’cause you’re starting to have feelings for the Slayer, and that Slayer then starts hitting on you, just trust it’s not actually her in her own body.  (4×16, “Who Are You”)
Buffy’s not going to relax for a while yet, so Spike (James Marsters) should have sensed that something is up when “Buffy” started propositioning him in the Bronze.  Except for Buffy was really Faith in Buffy’s body.  That propositioning, though hilarious and kiiinda sexy, didn’t come from Buffy.  Spike would have been thinking wishfully to buy into it.  Meanwhile, Buffy-in-Faith’s-body is off talking sex and stevedores with Giles, and that’s a much Buffier thing to do.

4. Don’t subject anyone to rigorous abuse in the name of spiritual cleansing.  (4×18, “Where the Wild Things Are”)
When Genevive Holt (Kathryn Joosten) ran the Lowell Home for Children, she tried to prevent the kids from behaving un-Christianly by doing things like cutting off their hair and holding them underwater in the bathtub.  This then causes the spirits of those children to haunt the house and inflict their torments on the house’s denizens.  And, yes, poltergeists are bad.  Don’t get me wrong.  But poltergeists could have been avoided were over-extremist behavior also avoided.  Going that far on the spectrum just… well, it’s never good.

3. Sometimes, those three days of the month can suck.  A lot.  (4×06, “Wild at Heart”)
Willow shrugs off her boyfriend Oz’s (Seth Green) werewolfism in season two with a glib “I mean, three days out of the month I’m not much fun to be around, either.”  But Willow’s three days don’t ever inspire her to cheat on her someone by having primal animal sex in a cage.  It’s not a good reason to have avoided the relationship together, nor was it inevitable (nor is Willow entirely innocent of cheating herself, to be fair).  But I like to think that Oz wouldn’t have necessarily cheated that time if he wasn’t cheating with a fellow werewolf in werewolf mode.  Call me an optimist.

2. Government super-soldiers aren’t a great idea.  Especially when the program creating them also pumps them full of drugs.  Remember?  Those are bad, too.  (…the whole season.)
I’ve never been an Initiative fan.  They think they have the right idea, and generally, killing demons is a good idea.  Experimenting on demons is less of a good idea.  And the Initiative boys are just… well, they’re not exactly bastions of individual intelligence.  They’re gullible, and they think that guns can solve everything (they can’t, especially in the Buffyverse).  Also, the Initiative is drugging them, leading to some pretty epic withdrawal (circa 4×14, “Goodbye Iowa”).  That’s just good for nobody.

1. And most importantly, the tech will destroy us.  (4×13, “The I in Team” onward)
In this case, the tech is demon/human/cyborg monster soldiers.  But still.  This is another reason I’m anti-Initiative.  They’re trying to control things they can’t really understand by adding in a healthy dose of wires and bolts and programming.  And it bites them in the ass.  That demon/human/cyborg monster soldier kills its creator.  That demon/human/cyborg monster wants to kill everything.  And if the stupid Initiative had just stayed out of it (and kept their tech out of it, too) this particular apocalypse could have been avoided.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesday :: 5 pretty good parent-child relationships on TV

None of them are perfect.  But they all have their moments.

5. Alma Garret Ellsworth & Whitney Ellsworth and Sofia Metz (Molly Parker, Jim Beaver, and Bree Seanna Wall, Deadwood)
Except for the part where Alma was sometimes strung out on laudanum.  But, y’know, that aside.  Alma takes little Sofia in after her own husband is killed, good riddance, and Sofia’s family is killed too, and having the little darling to care for actually helps motivate her to kick the drugs that first time.  And when Alma marries Ellsworth and they’re a happy family for a little while (but not too long, of course) the relationship that Ellsworth has with Sofia is absolutely precious.

4. Gemma Teller and Jax Teller (Katey Sagal and Charlie Hunnam, Sons of Anarchy)
Sometimes Clay (Ron Perlman) is a good stepdaddy, and sometimes, well, he’s really really not.  But Gemma is an amazing Momma Bear of a woman.  She’s looking out for Jax, she’s there to take care of Jax’s son when he’s not all kidnapped in Ireland, she’s giving damn good advice and handling her business and being generally epic.  And Jax is usually a pretty loving son.  Actually, Gemma’ s sort of the stand-in mom for the whole club, which just proves how damn good at being awesome she is.

3. Joyce Summers and Buffy & Dawn Summers (Kristine Sutherland, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Michelle Trachtenberg, Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Joyce isn’t a perfect mom.  She’s got those moments where you just want to go “GORRAMIT JOYCE.  YOUR DAUGHTER NEEDS TO GO SAVE THE WORLD, AGAIN, SHE DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR CURFEWS.”  Also those moments where you just want to go “I know you remember Dawnie being there forever, but she’s brand new, stop taking her side aughhh.”  But usually, the relationship she’s got with her daughters is pretty solid.  They can’t talk about everything, but they can talk about a lot of things.  She grew into being chill with the vampire slayage.  And her daughters definitely love her, which means she’s doing something right.

2. Richard Castle and Alexis Castle (Nathan Fillion and Molly C. Quinn, Castle)
I’ve only seen the first season.  But watching an episode thereof tonight was my inspiration for this list.  They’ve got the parent-child/buddy thing down.  I mean, laser tag, how cool is that?  They can talk about pretty much everything, and Alexis’ way of giving helpful advice is sort of precious.  I feel like they’d be the kind of family I’d want to hang around on a semi-regular basis, like if I went to school with Alexis I’d want to have study groups over at her house ’cause it would be friendly and not stressful.

1. Lorelai Gilmore and Rory Gilmore (Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel, Gilmore Girls)
Psh, as if it could be anyone but.  Lorelai and Rory had some rocky times (that stretch of RORY WHO THE HELL ABDUCTED YOUR BODY time around season six for example) but they eventually got through it.  They love each other.  They care about each other.  They’re best friends, and they treat each other like best friends.  And that, that is awesome.

–your fangirl heroine.

Music Monday :: 6 more albums made of folksy twangy epic win.

I’m just in that sort of place right now.

6. Fleet Foxes, Fleet Foxes
I don’t have Helplessness Blues yet.  I know, so sue me.  But, I love their first self-titled album very much.  And I give them bonus points for being Portland locals.  Turned very very loud on one’s headphones in a crowded room of noisy people, it can be deliciously trippy and make one feel like they’re in a sort of awesome folksy twangy void.  “White Winter Hymnal” just turns into this collection of beautiful chorusing chords and beauty and the whole album does, but this one sticks out for some reason?

5. I Pledge Allegiance to Myself, Lizzie West and the White Buffalo
This album is an opus.  It’s just this collection of endless, epic music that goes and goes.  West has a darker thing going with some of her lyrics, but at the same time it feels just friendly and classic and perfect.  “God Damn That Man” stands out, if just because it’s so strong a statement, but it’s all fabulous.

4. The Old Days Feeling, Mirah
Her other albums are less folksy.   You Think It’s Like This But Really It’s Like This has hints of it, and To All We Stretch the Open Arm does too, but the former is more cutesy folk and the latter is more orchestral twang.  This one isn’t pure folk twang, but it’s got a nice dose of it.  She’s another of my Portland babies, and I salute her.  I love her pretty much always, really.  I think my favorite track here is “Lone Star,” if just because I love the occasional sweet shout-out to the land of my ancestors.  Some of my friends get to be descended from explorers and adventurers and things.  I get cowboys.

3. Summer Rains, the Ditty Bops
Finally, I got another of their albums!  And this one is just as cute as the first.  It’s sweet and feminine but not saccharine and it’s just — even when it’s sad, it makes me happy to listen to, basically.  “Feel From the Outside In” has earned the My Favorite Track position, for obvious fanmixy reasons, but I give them props for the instrumental jam “Interlude For Ten Strings,” too.

2. Well, obviously, the Firefly soundtrack.
Sometimes a good instrumental folk party is just what you need.  Whether you’re feeling intense longing, intense happiness, intense sadness, intense determination, intense whatever, it seems to amplify things in the best of ways.  You can just sink right into the music.  And it’s impossible to pick favorite tracks, because they’re all beautiful and brilliant and beautiful.

1. Barton Hollow, the Civil Wars
Surprise surprise, right?  I mean, that love letter wasn’t a huge tip-off.  I switch which song I’m in love with the most about every four days, but right now it’s either the titular track or the cover of “Dance Me to the End of Love.”  It’s just beautiful.  It’s everything I want in folksy twangy epic win albums.

–your fangirl heroine.

Social Life Sunday :: I’d pondered waiting to discuss this.

Until Wednesday, naturally.  But as it was just last night and it was social, well.  Can’t Stop the Serenity is something I need in my life way more than once a year, it’s official.  Yeah, I was maybe a little bummed that my friends and I were the only ones in costume; I’d Googled the event and known that people did dress sometimes, and they were showing a slide show that indicated that people had dressed in years past.  Apparently everyone just decided to opt for their t-shirts (that were still pretty awesome) and their Jayne hats this year.  After all of the work we did on fixing up the jewelry and hair and makeup and clothes and weaponry, I was sorta sad we didn’t get to show off much.

BUT.  That aside?  A room full of like-minded geeks is my favorite place to be.  From the general pretty good mood floating around to the conversation I butted into in line about Daniel Craig’s insane blue eyes, it just felt right.

The Dr. Horrible screening made my life.  Dr. Horrible is one of the few things I can sing along to and not feel completely fail, and it makes me happy, and my friend totally started the little bit of cheering after “I wonder what you’re captain of” (still one of my favorite lines in the whole show).  Everyone sang along.  The words were there so you couldn’t screw up.  I actually haven’t watched Dr. Horrible since last summer, I don’t think, and it just made me happy all over again.  (Also, Maurissa Tancharoen’s existence makes me happy.)

The Q&A with Patric Reynolds just got me giddy.  Answering questions, snarking good-naturedly, being way talented (and also kinda cute).  I was all smitten and impressed.

The little reel of talking they played before the movie made me as happy as it’s humanly possible to be, I’m pretty sure.  Even little eensy flashes of Dichen and Eliza and Summer are enough to make me fall over with delight.  Clare Kramer is pleasantly not a psychobitch when just herself.  Also, when Tahmoh Penikett said that “Browncoats are cool,” my response was: “Well, I knew that anyway.  But thank you for saying so,” followed by wistful sighs of you are not my Dollhouse man but I still love you and find you attractive and stuff.  Joss’s speech was both enlightening and amusing.

I have seen Serenity itself… oh, at least twelve times not counting this screening, the most recent being about a month ago.  But it never, ever gets old.  I think the magic of watching movies amongst like-minded geeks on big screens is that even if you’re strangers to everyone, you’re not alone.  Everyone’s cheering and clapping (and I’m pretty sure I started the round thereof after “hell with this!  I’m gonna live,” just sayin’).  Everyone’s tense at the right moments and happy at the right moments and sad at the right moments.  Everyone is there with so gorram much love.

And the raffle was somewhat of a fail for me personally, as I did not win anything, but five more dollars to charity, I’m good with that.  My friend did win some stuff, and it’s awesome, so.  (I was kind of hoping for the signed Spike action figure, actually.  But oh well.  It just means I’ll have to make it a mission to meet James Marsters some day, not that it wasn’t already — I’m still a little sad that I didn’t shell out sixty dollars last April.  The more I think about it the more I wish I would have.)

I think that, at the end of the night, these events are just sort of magical.  They’re all about happiness, even when the movie is sad in parts.  (And OH RUTTING HELL IT NEVER GETS EASIER EVER.)  There’s warm fuzzies all around, everyone’s into it, there’s just… such a good atmosphere.  Especially when you’ve got the helping charity warm fuzzies into the bargain.

–your fangirl heroine.