I am the weirdo who thinks about things like this, yes. This could very well be cross-posted to Whedon Wednesday, yes. Literally half of these include Firefly folk, yes. I am shameless, yes.
10. Seth Bullock (Timothy Olyphant, Deadwood) and Malcolm Reynolds (Nathan Fillion, Firefly/Serenity)
They’d be those awkward non-bro bro friends that sometimes get in arguments but have each other’s back. They wouldn’t always match politics to a T, but Mal would appreciate having someone on the inside of the law occasionally, and Bullock would let Mal’s criminality slide ’cause it’s sometimes morally upstanding and whatnot, and that’s what matters more. They’d get together for a drink and make faces about women and Bullock would tell Mal to be more respectful of Inara ’cause he’s a gentleman like that and hey, he knows some whores, she’s no whore, she’s a classy lady. And they’d have epic tight pants/suspenders/sexy wound parties. Basically.
9. Joanie Stubbs (Kim Dickens, Deadwood) and Nandi (Melinda Clarke, Firefly)
(Deadwood and Firefly go together well in my head, okay?) Sort of like Joanie and Maddie, except for Nandi wouldn’t be a double-crossy “awesome, I’mma go ahead and set it up so there’s murdering going on here” bitch. Nandi would totally be someone that Joanie could turn to, especially re: being weird about ~the life~. Nandi would remind Joanie to respect herself, and Joanie so needs that.
8. Penny (Felicia Day, Dr. Horrible) and Peggy Olson (Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men)
No, seriously. Peggy needs girlfriends that don’t wanna be her girlfriend. Penny needs girlfriends. They both need someone to bitch and moan at about the disparities in the world and/or workplace. Penny would stop by for frozen yogurt lunches, Peggy would help Penny write her resume, they could give each other good advice impartially, because they’re both the sort of person that can be much more practical re: others, probably. Penny: “So I met this guy… [tl;dr]“ Peggy: “…you’re dating a man whose pseudonym refers… to his penis…? Really?” Penny: “I know, I know.” They both have that certain girl next door je ne sais quoi about them.
7. William Miller (Patrick Fugit, Almost Famous) and Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel, Gilmore Girls)
The literary/music/awesome things conversations alone would be epic. Rory would lend her mom whenever William just needed to gtfo and away from Elaine, William would lend his to help Rory do college applications and things. And when Christopher came to visit, ever, he’d totally take William out with them. “You ought to date my daughter, lol.” Awkwardface, then William: “…we’re just best friends, that’s more than enough. Dating would be… weird.” William would send Rory some of the ashtrays and stuff he stole from hotels, Rory would be jealous, William would give Rory advice about living out of a suitcase and a bus. Amazing, I think so.
6. Hoban “Wash” Washburne (Alan Tudyk, Firefly) and Topher Brink (Fran Kranz, Dollhouse)
They’d be those two kids who were just so weird and geniusy in school that nobody else knew what the hell to say to them, so even though they were different sorts of geniuses, they’d band together. And then everyone else would be blinded by their sheer awesome and the Hawaiian shirts and argyle sweater-vests next to each other. They’d never shut up, ever; they’d try to tell each other about flying and neuroscience and just get distracted by dinosaurs and sarcastic cat posters and ridiculous sentences that defied the rules of conventional grammar in favor of superior awkward geek grammar. Then Zoe or Bennett (because in the land of this nonsense, she didn’t get a bullet in her brainpan k?) or Mal or Adelle or whoever would walk in the room and have no idea what they were talking about and chuckle and roll their eyes and stuff.
5, 4. River Tam (Summer Glau, Firefly/Serenity) and Luna Lovegood (Evanna Lynch, Harry Potter) OR Drusilla (Juliet Landau, Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel)
CRAZY PARTY!!! River and Luna would wander around sans shoes saying things that made no sense to anyone and yet made perfect sense in whatever weird way. Luna would make River some ridiculous vegetable jewelry (probably not earrings, she doesn’t have her ears pierced I don’t think, or at least she doesn’t wear earrings, but maybe a necklace or a bracelet or something — OH MY GOSH YES, friendship bracelet of crazy). River would just ~know~ about the magic thing, even though she’s technically a Muggle she sort of isn’t so she’d figure a lot of it out, and it would drive her crazy that there wasn’t a proper explanation for most of it. They’d be all vague and floaty and yet straight-forward as hell with each other.
River and Dru? Well. Like I said, CRAZY PARTY. Dru would totally dress River up like a giant life-size doll and say sympathetic vague things about how it’s not fun to be psychic. River would sigh and roll her eyes and remind Dru consistently that she’s not bothered by blood whatsoever. Simon, meanwhile, would be over in the corner being all
adorably paranoid about River’s making friends with a psychotic vampire, and River would just shrug it off. “She can take care of herself, gēgē~” Besides, she’d add, Dru thinks she’s too adorable and brilliant to attack.
3. Bennett Halverson (Summer Glau, Dollhouse) and Emma Pillsbury (Jayma Mays, Glee)
Imagine the cardigans and neuroticism parties that would ensue. They’d drink tea and, like, organize stuff, and they’d be talking about work in the world’s vaguest terms but it’s okay because they’re both just ~private~ that way and even despite that they’d vaguely hit on guy talk sometimes and it would be so amazingly awkward but so, so good for the both of them to have someone to talk to. Bennett would give Emma the world’s most technical OCD advice, and repeatedly tell her she isn’t crazy in that amazing muttery way, at which point Emma would remind Bennett that she isn’t either, and then there would be more tea to drink. They could totally trade cardigans, too, and it would be beautiful.
2. Irene Adler (well, in the most recent movie Rachel McAdams, but bookverse, too, Sherlock Holmes) and YoSaffBridge (Christina Hendricks, Firefly)
Literally I had this idea while writing my midterm in my British literature class this last week, and it took all of my willpower not to flip to the last page of my blue book and scribble IRENE & YOSAFFBRIDGE WOULD BE THE BEST BUDDIES EVER. Or allude to the fact that Irene could so very much marry men for the fun of conning the crap out of them sometimes, who knows. They’d be those best friends that always compete with each other over everything. “Well I just stole some guy’s historical laser pistol and oh yeah he was my husband and stuff!” “Well I just blackmailed a king and it was fantastical!” Even though they’d also be giggling and swapping these stories in detail and trading Conning Men tips and stuff.
1. Donnie Darko (Jake Gyllenhaal, Donnie Darko) and Alice Kingsleigh (…going with Mia Wasikowska, Alice in Wonderland)
CRAZY PARTY, PART TWO! Imagine the magic of two people with possibly imaginary bunny friends and possible quasi-schizophrenia rambling together about nonsense. They could have fun angsty teenager moments of “AUGH SOCIETY IS SO LAME” and silly moments of “LOL BUNNY” and everything in between. This may or may not have been the pair that inspired this list in the first place, just sayin’.
–your fangirl heroine.