Music Monday :: 11 albums made of folksy twangy epic win.

11, 10. Fox Confessor Brings the Flood, Middle Cyclone, Neko Case
And my favorite tracks off either, respectively?  “Maybe Sparrow” and “Prison Girls.”  Not necessarily the folksiest off either album, but there’s certainly some old-fashioned twangy soul to either.  Neko Case’s amazing voice and amazing lyrics and amazing just — putting it together skills.  Beautiful.  I’m a terrible person and don’t have her older albums, yet, but — well, I assume it’s more of the same epic.

9. The Ditty Bops, the Ditty Bops
And I think  “Ohh La La” is my favorite track off of it, but it really does change all the time.  Another case of my not having anything else in the collection, save an EP, but — aw.  This is the really girly, innocent, sweet kind of twangyfolk, the kind that’s just, well, aw.  Sure, some of the songs are a bit darker, some are lighter, but still.

8, 7. A Book Like This, Down This Way, Angus & Julia Stone
Favorite tracks, respectively, “Lonely Hands” and “Draw Your Swords.”  On the bluesier side of twangy, but still folksy and amazing and just — well, there are many reasons.  I love their accents, I love their overall style, I love the lyrics they write and sing.  I love the way a lot of their songs are super sexy.  I love that I can say that without even feeling ashamed or awkward, really.

6. Rabbit Fur Coat, Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins
And today, my favorite track is “Melt Your Heart.”  This is a big departure for Jenny from her usual California indie style, but I love her for trying it.  I love the Watson Twins’ harmonies.  I love that I’ve had this album for — gosh, five years?  Longer than any others on this list, anyhow.  I’ve had it for that long and still get a refreshed feeling from listening to it.  I honestly don’t think it will ever get old.

5, 4. Hold Time and Post-War, M. Ward
Favorite tracks would be probably “Never Had Nobody Like You” and “Right In The Head,” for entirely different reasons.  Oh yeah, remember the part where he’s my new god of music?  Well.  I feel wrong even attempting to categorize him entirely, but he’s definitely got the twang folk blues amazing vibe, from the happy like “Never Had Nobody Like You” to the decidedly not like “Right In The Head” to the slow like “Hold Time,” another favorite of mine, to even the jams like “Neptune’s Net.”

3. She Ain’t Me, Carrie Rodriguez
And “Infinite Night” and “Absence” would be tied for favorite.  This is pure fiddle-ridden countryindiefolk twang goodness here, and that is awesome.  It’s just pure of intent and of sound, it’s genuine, it’s not trying too hard, it’s not maudlin, and it doesn’t hurt that Carrie Rodriguez has a precious voice and also I’m a huge sucker for fiddles.

2. The King Is Dead, the Decemberists
Favorite track being probably “Down By the Water” as mentioned before, or maybe “Rox in the Box.”  I love their baroque stuff, but this album I love, too.  Anyone who bitches about it obviously isn’t listening closely to the epic intensity of it; they’re just all “someone said country therefore shun~” and that’s sad.  Because folkycountry influence on indie lyricism?  Yes, please.  I don’t dig on modern country whatsoever, but modern stuff with old country roots is amazing.  Toss Colin Meloy in the mix and I’m a happy camper.

1. Would Things Be Different, the Spring Standards
Favorite track being “The Hush,” or “Trouble,” or “Queen of the Lot,” or — well.  There are lots of them.  This is an album of those beautiful influences, of harmonies galore, of lyrics I worship, of simplicity and intricacy all in one.  Of more fiddles.  Sometimes I want to dance to some of these songs, in the folk dancing kind of way not that I know how but sort of like square-dancing minus the hoedown thing, and sometimes I just want to soak up the beauty.

–your fangirl heroine.

Sundry Sunday :: my urban dictionary: pulling a Tom Felton

Def.: hyphenating two words and counting it as one.

Usage: When asked what one word described his Harry Potter experience, Tom Felton said “life-changing,” thus establishing the parameters for pulling a Tom Felton.

 

–your fangirl heroine.

Spoiler Alert Saturday :: my thoughts on Bridesmaids

I.. feel cheated.

So here we have what’s been advertised as The Hangover for women.  I’m thinking it’s gonna be all hilarious and raunchy.  Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph and Jon Hamm and Melissa McCarthy and Rose Byrne and those girls from The Office and Reno 911! are there.

LIES I TELL YOU.

The first bit of it’s fine.  The sex montage was actually funny.  The toasting at the bridal shower was a little tiresome; like a lot of Kristin Wiig’s sketches on SNL.  Actually, it was like Penelope!  That one where she and Neil Patrick Harris kept trying to top each other’s topping.  But at first, I sort of sympathized with Wiig’s Annie a little.  The pre-dress shopping lunch was… well, tedious.  I wanted to slap Rose Byrne’s  smug face and tell her to go back to being British and singing pop songs about he asshole.  Dress-shopping itself was… well, also tiresome.  But it was gross for a minute or two, and I guess that’s what they meant by The Hangover for women.  It — GASP — actually involved excrament jokes.  For all of those two minutes.

It just sort of made me sad from there.  Sad because for a while I liked the Scottish cop, at least, and I think he had sort of a right to be pissed that she just screwed and ran, ’cause that’s not cool when guys do it or when girls do it, you should at least… I don’t know, say something better than “gotta go bye.”  But then he was an asshole too.  The bit on the airplane was tiresome, and this could just be because I have a bad association with airplane humor since Due Date was so outrageously bad.  The bridal shower was painful.  The… everything was painful.

This was being touted as a comedy about female friendships.  (Is that why the groom was only seen at the engagement party and the wedding and never so much as spoke?  Like he may as well have been a blow-up doll there to accessorize with her on her “special day,” like it wasn’t supposed to be special for both of them, like a wedding is just a big party for a woman to dress up and eat cake and then go off to birth children or something, like he had absolutely no involvement in the wedding at all, of course he didn’t, what would men know about weddings?  That’s woman’s work!)  But what kind of message does it send that the central female friendships are either crumbling due to petty, vindictive, annoying jealousy or based strictly on having husbands that are friends and a similar affinity for pretty material goods?  Where the two “rivals” get so jealous of each other that they ruin everything, almost?  Where the big reveal consists of the bride going I don’t want all this fancy crap!  Oh yeah, btw, how are you doing?  And best friend going, in return, I’m fine.  All’s forgiven, even though an indeterminate but short period of time ago, you were pissed ’cause your friend was being a shallow bitch?  And you, in turn, were being a vindictive bitch?

Is it possible to make movies about female friendships that don’t involve vindictive bitchiness?  That don’t involve a screaming match?  That don’t involve the teary-eyed confession and forgiveness session?  At least Melissa McCarthy’s Megan seemed to have her head on straight most of the time.  Sure, it’s been a while since I’ve seen a chick flick with projectile vomiting and diarrhea, but it’s still a chick flick.

In short, HOW ARE OUR DAUGHTERS GOING TO GROW UP BELIEVING THAT THEY CAN HAVE POSITIVE FRIENDSHIPS THAT DON’T INVOLVE STUFF AND DON’T UNRAVEL DUE TO JEALOUS CATTINESS?

Oh yeah.  They can just immerse themselves in all things Jossy and empowering.

–your fangirl heroine

Film Friday :: why is it that certain people will get me to watch anything?

So when there was nothing at Blockbuster tonight, we decided just to look for what was on TV.  And though we’d debated Reefer Madness or Adventureland for the 37th time, we saw something called Women in Trouble and had to investigate.  Well, the info said “pregnant porn star” and “stuck in an elevator” and “neurotic.”  It also touted Carla Gugino, and if the opening scene was indication, she was the pregnant porn star.  Wacky!  Wacky enough to make us watch the opening credits.

And then Josh Brolin!  And then my blue-eyed love Marley Shelton!  And then JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT?  My dear, sometimes awkward, adorable, lovely Joseph Gordon-Levitt?  Okay, we swore we’d at least watch till he showed up, we had nothing better to do.  And music by Robyn Hitchcock?  Bonus.

A therapist’s client was giving her husband… under-the-desk type sex.  The client’s thirteen year old daughter smoked invisible cigarettes.  There were porn star hooker girls and one of them was Emmanuelle Chriqui who’s married to a twelve-year-old on The Borgias and one of them was Adrianne Palicki who’s allegedly gonna be Wonder Woman and they almost witnessed a crime so they ran outside and the therapist hit Adrianne Palicki with a car (not too hard, they could still go get drunk at the lesbian bar).

Then Marley Shelton was a flight attendant!  And Josh Brolin was hitting on her and had a British accent and made a comment about zombies that made me lol, ’cause… coincidence!  (Literally, my response was to deadpan the word “lol.”)  They started having airplane bathroom sex and then there was turbulence and suddenly he… died?  And she was all OHNOES!!! and … never seen again.

So Carla Gugino the porn star and a neurotic lady were stuck in an elevator, then, and apparently Carla Gugino the porn star was dating Josh Brolin the British rock star?  It was around now I went, “okay, when’s my Joseph appearing?”  But I kept watching.  Suddenly Adrianne Palicki was getting beat by thugs, suddenly she was in the lesbian bartender’s house getting a massage from said bartender’s roommate and then giving a thoroughly disturbing confession.  And, huh.  She had the hots for Emmanuelle Chriqui in purple pleather shiny assless chaps?  ‘Kay.

(No, Marley Shelton was not destined to reappear.  And I cried inside, because I adore her.)

Suddenly therapist was confronting her husband Simon Baker.  And then, ring ring telephone, client/mistress ran into a telephone pole with her car!  Oh no!  But Simon Baker was gonna be a good husband and not go to his injured mistress, dammit.  Luckily said mistress’s sister was neurotic elevator girl, so she’s in the hospital with her niece who’s really her daughter from a drug dealer but who she abandoned out of… fear for something?  And now she and Carla Gugino were besties, so Carla Gugino’s visiting the hospital too.  She and daughter have a nice smoke of the imaginary cigarettes.

Blah, blah, lots of confessions and stuff, dramatic catharsis.  And then… the credits rolled.  And I was going “whatttt” because my Joseph!  Where was he?  Well, after the credits, there was a short little vignette with porn star Carla Gugino and porn star Adrianne Palicki (who, oh yeah, was outrageously idiotic, except when it came to trigonometry, what?) being interviewed for some blog show?  And… THERE HE WAS!  Interviewing, being absurd, vaguely schmarmy, and generally hilarious.  And yes, it was worth it.  Just for that.

–your fangirl heroine.

Theatre Thursday :: a sad collection of percentages.

There are currently 22 musicals running on Broadway.  Main Broadway, not off-Broadway; that would skew this tally considerably.  But here we go.

• 45% are based on films, television shows, books, or plays.
• 27% are jukebox musicals.
• 27% are musicals I’ve seen (22% seen on tour, 4% seen actually in New York).
• 22% won their respective Tony (Best Musical or Best Revival of a Musical).
• 18% have been running 10+ years.
• Only 13% are revivals.
• 13% are original material.
• 9% were in part written by Sir Elton John.
• 4% (a whopping one musical) is an original musical that is not a revival.
• 4% are something I’d want to see and have not already seen.

…well, hm.

–your fangirl heroine.

Whedon Wednesday :: why it is fun to swear or really just use any slang in Chinese

True story: when in hospital last year, I was… well, I was doped out of my mind, basically.  But when the nurses tried to move me, I was clearly in ouchy pain.  My mother tells me that I had the presence of mind not to let ‘er rip in English, though: I knew that would offend them, so instead I apparently started unleashing a string of Chinese swear words, both confusing the nurses and proving to my mother that yes, I was still in there.  This is one of the only Me In Hospital stories I allow, mostly because it makes me sort of feel mildly epic and vaguely Riverish.

In short, I am that dork who, after watching Firefly, was inspired to spend inordinate amounts of time on the internet learning how to swear in Chinese.  Or how to call people affectionate nicknames in Chinese, either way.  I am that weirdo who likes to speak multiple languages in one sentence, even if I don’t really know much of the language; I have sent text messages basically saying something like “Oui, parce que that’s just gō se.”   I am that awesome, yes.

It’s fun to be able to swear vehemently without people knowing what the hell you’re saying.  It’s fun to be able to feel like you have a fandom inside joke just by calling someone something sweet.  It’s fun to be an epic dork.  And yes, I do also use a freakish amount of English Firefly slang in real life, but that’s best saved for a post of its own.

So, because it is epic, here I present a list of some of my favorite Chinese exclamations (some from the show, some I translated my own self just ’cause).  Shield your eyes, kiddies, there’s nasty words about.  In Chinese, but hey.

• nĭ hăo — well, you need to know how to say ‘hello.’
• dōng mă — or ‘all right?’ or ‘understand?’  Super useful.
• mèimei – little sister.  Or sister that’s close enough in age that you can count it.  Not always literal sisters, ’cause family ain’t always blood.
• jiĕjie – big sister.  See above.
• gēgē – big brother.  See above.
• dìdì — little brother.  See above.  And just to keep it rounded out.
• tiànxin – sweetheart.
• băobĕi – darling.  I use this one on friends all the rutting time.
• hún dān – bastard.
• niáng men – this one’s, y’know, the t word.  Twit with a different vowel.
• ai ya — dammit.  Things of that nature.  This amuses me, because I remember them saying it in Mulan and I totally ripped it off when I was a little kid.  (Once a mimic always a mimic.)
• wǒ de tiān a – oh my god.
• pìgu – ass.
• gō se –  this one’s, y’know, the sh word.  Shut with a different vowel.
• căodŏn – this one’s, y’know, the f word.  Duck with a different beginning consonant.
• tā mā dē – another way of saying that f word.  Usually in verb form.
• yǔ cǐ xiāngguān de yīqiè dōu tā mā de gǒupì – this is a longer one.  Eff everything related to this shhh.
• tā shi jìnǚ zài dìyù zhōng de mǔqīn — literally, “she is the mother of all whores in hell.”  An epic one if ever there was.
• shuō shuōhuǎng húlíjīing – literally, “lying fox spirit.”  (Fox spirit is akin to vixen.)
• fèiwù — junk.
• xièxiè – thank you.  I also use this one on friends enough that my phone now knows how to spell it and it’s the first that comes up when I press the 9 button and 4 button (I still text like an old-school dinosaur, hearting the 0-9 system, I know, I’m a late adapter).
• zuò zúgòu de yèjiān lǚxíng hé rén huì zuìzhōng kàn dào guǐ – literally, “do enough nighttime travels and one will eventually see a ghost.”  (Basically, something is weird and inevitable.)
• shuài – cute.
• jingcăi – brilliant.  I also exclaim this one a lot.

And for 15 of the more virulent, extensive swears, written out so you can actually pronounce them (I’m a weirdo and like the way pinyin looks pretty, so I kinda just… go with what makes sense, which I figure is okay since most of the Firefly cast members don’t apparently pronounce it correctly either) there’s a guide on toplessrobot.com that is inimitable.

–your fangirl heroine.

Television Tuesdays :: so The Borgias is over for the season.

Short seasons, man.  They get you.  I’d been anticipating it being over, but I was still a bit sad.  Also worn out after the last episode; not exactly from emotional investment, but certainly from the fact that there was so much going on.

We had intrigue both romantic and political, a crap ton of sexual tension (some of it between Francois Arnaud’s Cesare and Holliday Grainger’s Lucrezia, which is creepy ’cause they’re siblings; some of it with Cesare and Ruta Gedmintas’ Ursula-now-Martha, which is creepy ’cause she’s now a nun), a lot of Jeremy Irons’ scowly growly “ohai remember when I was a cartoon lion?” face, a lot of pretty scenery and costumes, general wackiness ensuing.

(Seriously, I can’t be the only one of my generation who cannot listen to Jeremy Irons, even when he’s dressed up like the pope, and not see a cartoon lion.  And then I imagine a cartoon lion in a pope outfit, and die inside of giggles.)

I don’t care about these people on a people level, pretty much across the board, but I do care about these people insofar as I want to see what else they get into.  I want to see Lucrezia woman up and poison some bitches.  I want to see Cesare bitch-slap his brother metaphorically and prove that he’s a better warrior.  I want to see what wackiness good ol’ Pope Lion gets up to next.

And I have to wait till 2012?  Siiigh.

–your fangirl heroine.

Music Monday :: a love letter to Eisley’s live shows

In short, oh, these epic epic people.  First of all, their openers were epic too.  Their little sister Christie who is adorable (and their brother on guitar for her too) and sings beautiful songs and may have inspired me to make a new fanmix in the near future just with one of the songs.  The Narrative who were adorable too and super precious and indie amazing and also their “You Will Be Mine” or whatever it was called was sexy.   Susie I-don’t-know-her-last-name had a gorgeous voice and I love when people bop around when playing the keyboard.

Now, Eisley themselves.  I could not really see Sherri from my place in the crowd) front row, but wrong side of the stage, and Stacy’s keyboards were in the way) but I had a good view of the rest.  Especially Chauntelle, who is beautiful and epic with that blue in her hair just doing her bass guitar thing.  When she sang her solos in “Watch It Die” and “I Could Be There For You” everyone cheered, and I thought it was really sweet.  And both the brothers were rockin’ it.  I mean, they were just hanging in the back doing their insturment thing, mostly, but they were still awesome.

Anyway.  They did… well, not all of my favorite songs ’cause I have like twenty-seven favorite songs of theirs at least and since a few of them are off Room Noises  I wasn’t expecting them, but they did most of them.  I got “Ambulance”  and “I Could Be There For You” (as seen above, in admittedly crappy quality ’cause I was working off my digital camera and greatness cannot be expected, but) and part of “Mr. Moon” videoed, I sang along when they invited everyone to and actually hit a few of the notes (an Eisley miracle), I rocked out like nobody’s business, drumming along a little.  I was mouthing words like nobody’s business, because I’m that kind of person, and they did “Smarter” and “Invasion” and “Marvelous Things” and “Many Funerals” and “Memories” and “Better Love” (sweet lord that one was epic live) and I was literally heart beating in time with the music.  It was beautiful.

And for the encore, Sherri and Stacy did “Just Like We Do.”  Which was really sweet, because that was my first Eisley song ever.

All in all?  Beautiful.

–your fangirl heroine.

Sundry Sunday :: the lulziest law firm ever.

I mean, I’m sure they do good work, sometimes.  But it cracks me up that they’re always advertising like DID YOU TAKE A PILL AND THEN GET SICK A YEAR AND A HALF LATER?  IF SO, LAWSUIT!  I’m sure sometimes the pills do cause illnesses.  I’m sure sometimes there is a bonafide, genuine reason for these people to call.

But the firm is called Pulaski and Middleman.  Middleman.

Also, their phone number is like 800 – BAD DRUG or something.  Yes, drugs are bad and can do bad things, but it’s just… I don’t know.  It doesn’t sound very lawyerly.

–your fangirl heroine.

Spoiler Alert Saturday :: my thoughts on Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Mixed feelings.  Mixed feelings in spades.  I mean, it’s a Pirates movie, it’s not Shakespeare.  But by the same token, just because something is designed to entertain and swashbuckle doesn’t mean it can’t be genius.  Pirates has never been genius.  The first one probably seemed funnier because I was younger and sillier at the time; now the same three jokes getting respun in varying contexts is a little old.  They’re four movies now that are the same thing each time, a bit different window dressing, but no more than that.  It’s not a hideous formula, but it’s also not thrilling.

I’m just going to sort this for you into LIKES and DISLIKES.

LIKES:

• Ian McShane.  He just does articulate sociopath so damn well.
• Johnny Depp’s accent.  I’m sort of over Jack Sparrow as a character, but I’m still fond of most lower-class British accents, so.
• Penelope Cruz’s corsets.
• The vampire/Spider-man/cannibal/siren mermaids.  Because, what?
• Astrid Berges-Frisbey’s face.  I dunno, I’d like to see her in something where she actually did something, I got an endearing vibe off of her.
• Spanish guitar music.
• An absence of Orlando Bloom’s Will and Keira Knightley’s Elizabeth.

DISLIKES:

• Geoffrey Rush’s bad I’m Trying To Look Poncey wig and makeup thing.  I got that that was intentionally bad, but it was still unpleasant to look at.
• The fact that Penelope Cruz’s alleged backstory changed five thousand times and I didn’t really get a clear read of what her character was in it for.  First she wanted to make Jack sad for having… driven her out of the convent with sex?  Then it was all OHAI let’s go to the Fountain of Youth~  Then it was all lolhe’smydadrlysrsly.  Then it was all I HEART GOD AND SALVATION AND STUFF.  Pick something and stick with it, babygirl.
• The fact that, while Ian McShane was clearly enjoying what he had to do, he didn’t have to do nearly as much as he deserves.
• Richard Griffith’s absolutely ridiculous (flaming) King George.
• I started mentally clock-watching about forty-five minutes before the ending.
• (Also sort of a like in a different way.)  My dad and I had the exact same snarkthoughts the entire time.  It’s nice to be on the same wavelength, but it’s also a sign of the movie’s predictability.

I wasn’t expecting much.  I wasn’t expecting great brilliance, hell no.  It was entertaining enough for what it was, it just… well, I miss Cry-Baby Johnny Depp.

–your fangirl heroine.