In honor of the rewatch I am doing every Sunday night on the Science Channel. Also, spoiler alert.
10. That Time Jayne Actually Had A Heart Sorta (“Jaynestown,” 1×07)
The end of the episode, the dialogue between Jayne (Adam Baldwin) and Mal (Nathan Fillion) wherein Jayne feels bad about the people on Canton worshipping him and stuff. Where he’s actually got a tiny bit of a heart and I almost don’t wanna punch him for being a stupidface. A funny amusing stupidface, but still a stupidface.
9. That Time Zoe Had Unspecified Internal Injuries And Wash Was Sad And Angry (“Out of Gas,” 1×08)
The devotion Wash (Alan Tudyk) has for Zoe (Gina Torres) just makes me cry inside. Especially knowing what I know now. It’s just beautiful, and it’s touching, and I’m jealous of women who have men who care about them that much. Actually several moments in this episode get me.
8. That Time Kaylee Got Shot And There Was Angst (“Serenity,” 1×01)
“Can you move your legs?”
“Are you asking me to dance?”
I love Kaylee (Jewel Staite). I love that that’s her reaction. I love that everyone is so angry and chaotic and she’s just confused and in pain and everyone is trying to take care of her.
“Kaylee is very dear.”
I have a weird soft spot for this because I may have a scar in the exact same place she does from that gunshot wound, too.
7. That Time Simon And Kaylee Almost Kissed, Then Kaylee Got Threatened And Tied Up By Early (“Objects in Space,” 1×14)
Ye-ahhh. A lot of these are Kaylee-related, just ’cause wibbley Kaylee makes me wibbley too. And this is one of the most emotionally intense sequences of scenes ever for me. We start with the flirtfail wibbling, then we go straight to abject terror and fear and Early (Richard Brooks) being a creeper. And it’s just a bunch of painful brilliance.
6. Every Gorram Time There Is A Simon/Kaylee Or Mal/Inara Flirtfail
Pretty self-explanatory. And it does happen all the time. The Simon (Sean Maher) and Kaylee moments are more awkward heart-ass-kicking. The Mal and Inara (Morena Baccarin) ones are more tragic heart-ass-kicking. And every time I pretend to stab myself or something. It’s just too much. In a really great way.
5. That Time Tracy Flirted With Kaylee, Then Used Her As His Hostage And Stuff (“The Message,” 1×12)
GORRAMIT TRACY (Jonathan M. Woodward). Manipulating Kaylee into flirting with you and thinking well of you and stuff and taking advantage of the fact that she was totes vulnerable from some of those Simon-related flirtfails. Trying to use her as a bargaining chip. Not cool.
“When you can’t walk, you crawl, and when you can’t crawl, you find someone to carry you.”
Actually, that entire bit sort of breaks my heart. The ending, with the most gorgeous piece of music ever, when they were having a funeral for the show basically ’cause they just found out it was getting cancelled… kill me now. With beauty.
4. That Time River And Simon Were Kidnapped By Hillfolk And River Was Sad (“Safe,” 1×05)
It’s the dialogue that I think best defines Simon and River’s (Summer Glau) amazingly amazing close brother/sisterness. It’s the dialogue that defines attachment and affection and devotion and all that.
“You gave up everything you had to find me, and you found me broken.”
Every time, man. Just… awwwes. River. Băobĕi. You poor thing.
3. That Time Mal Is Gonna Stay With The Ship And Inara Wants Him To Go With Them And Not Die (“Out of Gas,” 1×08)
Can be summed up in exactly two lines:
“You don’t have to die alone, Mal.”
“Everyone dies alone.”
2. That Time Nandi Slept With Mal And Inara Was Sad (“Heart of Gold,” 1×13)
And then Nandi (Melinda Clarke) realizes Inara has feelings for Mal, too, and then Inara’s trying to be strong, and Mal’s all awkward, and Inara’s crying in her room, and then Inara wants to leave, and… AUGH.
1. That Time Wash Got STABBED THROUGH THE CHEST BY A WOODEN POKEY BEAM OF DEATH (Serenity)
Also, GORRAM REAVERS. GORRAM REAVERS BREAKING MY HEART EVERY SINGLE TIME AND MAKING ME ABUSE CAPS LOCK. Wash is just awesome, and — augh, augh, augh, it isn’t fair even though it sort of did have to be him, but still. At least the comic, “Float Out,” makes up for it in a tragically beautiful kind of way.
–your fangirl heroine.